Crazy if Provoked

Guess what I'm doing tomorrow? I'll be off work and cramming 4 teenage boys into my tiny car for a field trip! At this point, I am starting to wonder if it would have been better (for my sanity) to tell BigBrother(13) that I couldn't get off work to provide chauffeuring services. I am having faith that they will all be well-behaved and everything will be just peachy. By chance, if it does appear that they are heathens, I plan on acting like a total fruit loop and scaring them into being quiet.

We are having a battle here regarding the length of time that I take in the shower. I am an adult and do not like some bossy asshole Sweety coming into the bathroom to let me know that I have been in there for 11 minutes and need to hurry up. Look here, I'm busy the whole time I'm in the shower. I'm not standing in the spray to just stand. I'm washing or scrubbing or shaving or rinsing every single second that I'm in the shower. Honestly, if I shave my legs, the whole shower takes around 15 minutes. I do not feel that this is excessive. I have a job. I give Sweety a chunk of my paycheck. I feel that I have earned the right to take a 15 minute fucking shower. So back off, Mister. Before I cut you.

Okay, I think there are at least 30 (give or take the 3 hits that come from my home computers) of you people out there that come by here. 18 of you have already voted for me. I would freaking love it if the rest of you would do so. Just to shove my blog up on the page.

You sign up here and then go here to vote.

The whole painless process takes less than 2 minutes and will bring such joy to a wacko's life.

Wow, I was amazed what an image search for "thai hooker" turned up.

I'm really done whoring for this. For real.

Added 1/24/8
A big "Thank You!" to everyone that took the time to vote!
You all kick much ass!


Thomas said...

15 minutes in the shower?
What a slacker.
The missus is happy if I keep it to 20 and that is a SHORT one.
I pay for the water and the gas so I get to shower for days if I want to.

I will have to sign up and vote.
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER google "Thai Hooker".
It will make you go blind


The Phosgene Kid said...

Never tell someone holding a razor to hurry. I have had to take so many quick showers while in the service that now I take my good natured time. Hell, I am paying for the water!!

We have Thai hookers here already, they work in nail parlors...

Amy said...

I voted! I voted!!! I'm #19
Woot woot!

here today, gone tomorrow said...

I think I voted already??

bekah said...

Tell Sweety I take showers that last 20 minutes +, more than once a day. Normally I shower 2 times. Sometimes it's 3 times. He'll be thankful for a wife who only showers for 15 minutes.

Robin said...

I did my duty and voted for you Chickie...but Mommy Blogger??? And tell Sweetie that the reason it takes so long to shower is that you are sooooo slender that you have to run around the shower just to get wet.

Ginamonster said...

Ooh, that would piss me off. The hot water has been running out on me lately so I timed myself. No shaving, 7 minutes. I'm busy the whole time too. I would get seriously mad if nagged. Maybe it's a good thing i am not married.

Kathleen Mortensen said...

Question. How the heck do you shave your legs in the shower? I would just tip over and crack my head on the side of the tub. You must have some balance.
I haven't been here for a while. I forgot how funny you are. Stop by my blog, if you like-there's lots of new stuff.

Chickie said...

Thomas - 15 minutes is enough time for me. If I had a weiner to wash, it would take me longer.

Yeah, I don't know what I thought "Thai Hooker" would pull up. I was looking for cute and that was nowhere to be found.

The Phosgene Kid - He always manages to come in just as I'm done shaving and wants to know what have I been doing all that time. So we burn up hot water while I describe my bathing process.

Amy - Go you! Push me up!

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow - Since you have completed your civic duty, you may go do more worthwhile things with your time. Or you could hijack the email address of the Cap'n and vote again. *insert evil grin here*

Bekah - More than once a day? I'd dry out like a piece of sandpaper.

Robin - Thanks for the vote! Heh, there is no way I could say that to Sweety with a straight face.

I was nominated for a couple of other things but decided to throw all of my eggs in the Hottest Mommy Blogger basket. :)

Ginamonster - If I don't shave it's 11 minutes (which is usually just the time he's coming in to ask me what the hell I'm doing). Timing your own shower is a definite plus to bachelorhood.

Kat - To be honest, I sometimes start to tip over and catch myself on the wall!

I've been enjoying your place but haven't been commenting. I'll say "hi" more often!

Mike said...

I already voted for you and so did my daughter. I would vote again and again and again, but they won't let me.

Ummm...on those Thai hooker searches, I wasn't in any of those shots was I? I mean I thought I got all of those taken care of.

Scotty Ice said...

It will not let me sign up!!

Says "Capcha failed"...whats up with that!!

Rich | Championable said...

I voted for you, but truth be told, I WOULD have voted for that Gold Frog I remember from a while back.

Turns out I have two votes in the HottestDaddy category! Zoinks!

moooooog35 said...

I voted.

Mine's up there somewhere...probably under the "hottest short guy blog" category.

Sandy said...

Hi, I come read you often, I enjoy reading here. I voted for you :). Hope you have a great day, sending lot's of Hug's your way....

Patti said...

You are a bathroom novice compared to me. Sweety would really flip out if he saw how long I take and how much hot water I use! Good look on the Bloggers Choice awards. I registered.

Chickie said...

Mike - Thank you for procreating! 2 votes!

I don't think I saw you on the hooker search but I slammed my laptop lid closed really quickly when the page came up. But what I did see will just not leave my mind.

Scotty Ice - I see that you finally passed capcha!

Rich Championable - That Gold Frog is why you voted for me!
You have my vote too! Maybe if we win, we could go on a tour giving motivational speeches?

Moooooog35 - I don't think they even bothered with that category because they knew you'd clean it up - no contest. :)

Sandy - Thank you!

Patti - Maybe Sweety will see these comments and realize that I'm not as much of a bathroom hog as I could be!