Me: My left nose hole isn't working.
Him (trying to drift off to sleep): Hmph.
Me: I think it's a signal.
Him (moving his body away so my foot can't touch him anymore): What, like from aliens?
Me (chasing him around bed with my foot so it can touch him): Yes. And some of the neurons in my body need to be touching you in order for me to process the signal. Just leave my foot there.
After a few minutes of allowing my foot to connect with his ankle I flop over on my belly to sleep.
Him: Are you done using me now?
Me: Yes, the signal has been deciphered.
Him: What was it? Are the aliens coming to attack?
Me: No, it was a false alarm. Zorcom hit my signal button with his elbow while reaching for his coffee cup.
Him: Aliens drink coffee?
Me: No, I didn't say there was coffee in it. Just that it was a coffee cup.
Him: So what do they drink? Human brains?
Me: Bile. They can take out your gallbladder and you'll never even know cause you can live without it. But it's okay. We're all safe...For now.
And I wonder why he thinks I'm a nutball sometimes.
11 comments:
interesting!lol Have you been hanging with tom Cruise?;-)lol
My left nose hole NEVER works.
renee - Tom has left messages for me but my aliens say his aliens are full of crap so I don't return his calls. :)
anne arkham - For some reason, when my allergies or sinuses are acting up that's the side that goes first.
Do you maybe have a bean stuck in yours?
you are a nutty person and I like it!!!
I have become addicted to nose spray because BOTH of my nose holes quit working if I don't.
so there.
aliens.
holy hannah
anon - Thanks! I think it's part of my charm.
sk - What you'll have to do is just go without the spray and suffer through the withdrawls. My nose became dependant on that stuff once and it took two weeks without it before I could use my nose to breathe again. I had to walk around, talking funny, breathing through my mouth.
Yeah, aliens! Don't 'holy hannah' me. Deep down inside, you know that they're watching you too. It's okay to admit it.
That's hilarious. Do you play the snot game where you toss and turn in bed so the snot all moves to one side and clears up the other and then roll over and the snot then all shifts to the other side? Fun times!
I remember shoving a vitamin up there when I was like 3. I don't remember any beans.
bekah - I try to not play the snot game cause it makes noises when it shifts. I want all the mucus to get to one place and go to sleep.
anne arkham - I had a little fake pearl stuck in mine when I was 3 or 4. Managed to get it out without a trip to the doctor.
O MY GOD..that was fucking hysterical..thanks for a good read!
dusty - And the best part is that it's true. Well, I don't know if Sweety would agree.
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