How Petty Am I?

 Ya'll remember Lintball?  Mom's husband who was a nightmare to deal with after she died?  He loves his football team, the Kansas City Chiefs.  And I imagine he's glued to the television whenever they are playing.  I still have his phone number.  Part of me wants to call him repeatedly during games just to interrupt him.  I know he always has his phone on as his ass as he even left it on during Mom's funeral service and it rang during it.  Mom has been gone over 10 years and I'm still holding a grudge.  I don't think I'll ever be able to let go of it.

I'm making a presentation to Bean's class tomorrow.  They were having a lesson at school and ancestry came up.  The teacher asked Bean if I could come talk to the class about my family from Korea.  Hopefully, the social anxiety won't kill me.  I went and got some Korean food for the class to try.  Bean is worried for me - "Mom, what are you going to talk about?  You don't have to do this!  Wait, you're bringing food?  It'll all be okay.  Everyone loves snacks." I don't really know what I'm going to talk about. I think I'll just wing it.

Happy New Year!

 About Sweety.  I was wrong about him not being able to keep his CDL.  He is able to keep it and continue driving.  He's having weird symptoms that his doctors/specialists say are not at all related to the aneurysm but they can't tell him why he's having them.  The aneurysm is 1/2 a centimeter too small to operate on so we will just continue to monitor it and I will continue to worry about it popping.  Fun times.

I took my second shower in as many days yesterday.  This may be normal for you but for my depressed ass it is a big accomplishment.  My New Year's resolution was to shower at least once every 3 days so I'm winning.  I'm also making it a point to keep my face clean and it's cleared up very nicely.  Go me.

Turns out when I said menopause was over for me, I was wrong.  I've bled like a stuck pig more days than not this month.  I was just too smugly happy with my period-free self.  Got back on birth control because the last thing I need is a change baby. 

The Bean wanted to wax her legs the other day.  I offered to do it for her but she wanted to do it herself.  She got the fronts of her legs done but couldn't handle the pain of doing the backs of her legs.  She wanted to get in the shower and shave the rest but I wouldn't let her because she'd broken out in little hives from the waxing.  I was afraid she'd shave over a waxed area and hurt herself.  She started to cry and have a meltdown because now her legs weren't "even".  Kid, I know how you feel.  She was able to shave the next night and all was rebalanced in the universe.  

Maybe I'm Oversharing

 Sweety is having health issues.  He has an ascending aortic aneurysm in his heart.  It's big enough that he can't keep his medical card for his CDL driver's license so he's not working right now.  He's still getting paid 75% of his average daily pay and that is truly a lifesaver.  This is the third time he's been off for medical issues and the company has been wonderful with taking care of us every time.  The company he works for will completely cover the cost of surgery so that is very good.  They have a medical center just for this sort of thing.  They will pay travel costs for both of us, hotel, and food while we're there.  We don't know yet when the surgery will be.  We're in the first stages of getting everything scheduled.  I'm trying to not freak out.  I'm just afraid his heart is gonna pop before he can have surgery.

The Bean has started getting her period.  I, on the the other hand, have realized I'm done with getting mine and that menopause is over for me.  Both things make me feel really old.  Bean started getting hers a couple of months ago and I didn't realize it.  She told me she had brown discharge and I told her it was normal for it to be different colors.  It later occurred to me what was going on and I told her to let me know if it happened again.  Sometimes I am clueless.

I'm weaning myself off of flavored water and it's harder than I thought.  I hate drinking water.  It tastes weird.  We do have filtered water. I just don't like it.  I'm trying to fast all day and have one meal in the evening.  Since your blood sugar goes up after eating, I figured it would be better to just eat and have it go up once instead of 3 times a day.  I did one meal a day awhile back and once I got used to it, I felt really good.  Then I fell off the wagon.  I am super scared of going blind or having my feet fall off because of the diabetes.  This is a good motivator to make some changes.  I'm even going for a walk after I have my meal today.  I'm telling myself I don't have to run a marathon.  Just speed walk around the block to start.   

Hola!

 Well I've discovered something that I like more than eating anything and everything that tickles my fancy.  Walking.  Yeah.  Last week I got to deal with diabetic neuropathy.  This happens when your blood sugar runs too high for too long and the nerves get injured.  My feet hurt like a motherfucker.  I can honestly say I've never had pain like that before.  It was worse than passing a kidney stone.  I spent 3 days in bed because it hurt so bad to put pressure on my feet.  Getting to the bathroom was a shuffling, suppressing screams, ordeal.  I drug myself to the doctor on Wednesday when I realized it was getting worse instead of better and they gave me some medicine to help.  What also helps is bringing your blood sugar down so I freaked out and didn't eat hardly anything last week.  On the upside, I am down 10 pounds and am using that as my jumping off point for making my diet better.  I've got 100 pounds to lose and I know it'll take some time.  I keep reminding myself that I didn't get here overnight and it's not gonna come off overnight.  I've been carefully watching my carb intake and my feet feel almost normal now.  Thank you, eight and a half pound baby Jesus.

This weekend a friend took me to Disney!  We went to the Halloween party and Epcot.  My feet were still a bit off so we took plenty of breaks when needed.  She assembled costumes for us to wear.  I was Lilo from Lilo & Stitch and she was Lilo's sister Nani.  We wore hula skirts and leis.  Met some characters and had a large time.  The next day we went to Epcot.  They're having the Food & Wine Festival so we ate around the world.  Had lots of good little nibbles and rode some rides.  I like going to Disney with my friend because she knows her way around and I don't have to think.  I can just follow her.

My friend was going to get a little French Bulldog from a lady down here so we went to see the 7 week old puppy yesterday.  Got a message from the woman this morning that the puppy had died.  It aspirated on some milk and passed away.  I feel especially bad for my friend because her last dog died a few months ago and now this.  Some things just aren't meant to be I guess.

We fared okay with Hurricane Ian.  A ton of rain and wind but no flooding.  Almost a whole side of our fence blew down though.  Sweety was on it and replaced it within two days though so the dogs got their yard back quickly.  Unfortunately, our fence isn't big panels of pickets so he could just put new panels up, it's done with individual pickets.  The Bean and I moved all 130 pickets from where he unloaded them in the front yard to the backyard where he needed them.  Bean is a good little helper.

My nephew and his wife moved into their own place this weekend.  The house feels especially empty now.  They moved into the same complex that my sister lives in (nephew's mom) so I'm glad they get to be close to help each other out if needed.  On the upside, I can run around the house naked again.

Are You a Traveling Man?

 We just got back from our annual trip to Oklahoma and Texas.  It was so nice to get away with Sweety and the Bean.  While we were out there, I did something different and didn't visit friends.  We were only in Oklahoma for a few days and it was stressing me out to figure out how to see who and when so I just didn't.  We stayed in a cabin and just chilled out around the campground.  It was good. 

We did go clean up Mom's cemetery plot.  Huge shout out to Sweety for doing all of the work in 108 degree weather.  He set me up in the shade with a chair and water to supervise.  I wish we didn't live so far away so we could do it more often.  A friend and her husband weed eat it and tidy it the best they can when the cemetery has their annual cleaning day in May.  So all the weeds were dead, we just had to clean out and throw stuff away.  It ended up looking nice again.

Bean got to visit her first online friend.  She met this kid playing games online almost a year ago and they text and FaceTime every day.  We picked him up for lunch so they got to hang out for a couple of hours.  Bean was so nervous about meeting him that she just giggled and shook for a good while.  My nephew (formerly known as my niece) said that Bean was just like her Mama, meeting internet friends.  I guess Bean does take after me.

My nephew and his wife are staying with us for a little while.  While they get housing and schooling sorted out.  I'm loving having them here.  Sometimes I'll look at my nephew and remember that he's a grownup with a wife and a job and it makes me feel really old.  I'm super proud of him.  He got a job down here pretty quickly as did his wife.  They have two doggos so we have a house full right now.  They are well behaved so it's not bad.  One of the dogs has a real issue with Sweety though and loses his everloving shit when he sees or hears Sweety.  I told them that I think their dog needs an exorcism because when they take him somewhere out of the house, the whole mood is different. 

Oh, y'all!  I did something fun while we were traveling!  I took Chi Chi 2.0 on the trip and took her photo in different places.  I think I'm going to continue it at home too.  She can go to lunch and sightseeing with me.  She has a Facebook and an Instagram .  I couldn't decide which platform that I wanted to use so they both have the same stuff.

For Crying Out Loud

​So the Bean has this field trip tomorrow & she needs her swimsuit. I have asked her for the past two days if she has her suit. She always answers yes. Tenfuckingthirty at night, the night before the trip, she informs me that she can’t find her swim bottoms. 

Excuse me? WTF. I pretty much lost any shred of self restraint and chewed her a new asshole. I knew the damn suit bottoms had to be here somewhere. We eventually found them. After finding them, Bean was apologizing for telling me that she had her suit when she didn’t and she started to cry.

Now I feel like the biggest asshole around for grouching at her so much. I was so mad that I got lightheaded. I don’t think I’ve ever grouched at her like this before. But damn kid, keep track of your stuff!

It Feels Like Home

I guess my blogging adventure has come full circle.  The old URL that I used after this one has been overtaken by Japanese p0rn so don't go there.  Unless you're into that sort of thing.  I tried blogging at a new place but it just didn't feel right.  Even though I hadn't been here since 2008, I remembered how to login and consider it a sign. 

My anxiety med ran out a few days ago and when I went to refill it, they told me that I had to wait a few more days even though it had been 30 days since the last refill.  Instead of calling my doctor's office to see if they could to anything about it, I decided to just wing it and go without it for a few days.  Big mistake.  I am fucked up.  It feels like electricity is touching my brain every now and then and my teeth feel weird on top of me feeling weird.  Thankfully, I can get more tomorrow.

We break up the Bean's summer with camp weeks every now and then.  She's a little antisocial, (she comes by that honestly) and complains leading up to every new week but once she goes, she's happy and has fun.  Today started a new camp week and she had a good day.  I'm glad.  She's complaining about tomorrow because they have a field trip where they're going to go snorkeling at a spring and she doesn't want to go.  I reminded her that she was all bah humbug about the last two water field trips but ended up having fun.  I know tomorrow will be the same.  Heck, I'd like to go snorkeling!

Snoop With Me

alternate title: Now you know how strange I really am.

I spent a some time at my friend Elaine's house when I was on vacation a few weeks ago. Her Mama has recently went to stay in an assisted living place and her house is next door to Elaine's. She knows how fond I am of snooping and offered up Mama's house for my snooping pleasure.

I'd planned on going over there and spending a few hours leisurely poking through drawers but time got away from me and it got to be my last day there. I usually go to the place that I used to work at in Texas to say hi to some people and it was either go say hi or snoop.

Snooping won.

Elaine actually went to work and told everyone that I blew them off to snoop through Mama's house. I wish she hadn't done that. Now everyone really knows what a whackjob I am.

You can learn lots of things by snooping.

Mama's cupboard is very neat and orderly. Not surprising because she is one very put together lady. Whenever I see her she's always cute. Even if she's just in the yard or something.

It appears that she has a fondness for shampoo samples, soap samples & germX. It is good to be clean.

I was also able to see where Elaine gets her love of Clinque products. See that little white thing in the bottom of the photo? That's a little brush that folds out. Elaine had one and gave it to me last year after I organized her towel closet.

When I first got to her house, E was showing me around and pointing out places that I might want to snoop in. She told me if there was anything that I wanted to let her know. She was a few steps ahead of me in the hallway and I pointed at something hanging on the wall and said that I liked it just as she said "anything except Grandma's fan. Of course, I was pointing at Grandma's fan. That is something that she has to keep with her but she said I can have it when she dies. Elaine is 25 years older than me and has said that when I'm her age that she probably won't be around. I prefer to think that she'll live to be at least 100.

Poking through a clothing drawer, I found these things. My first thought was that they were urinal cakes. But why would a little old lady keep urinal cakes? Were they some sort of souviner? When I got brave enough to touch one I realized it was fancy soap. Not a urinal cake.

This was something I thought was really neat. They are brooches that belonged to E's Grandma and they are just stuck into that thing. Like a decorative pincushion. Very pretty.

Mama also had tons of jewelry. There was a brown drawer full of it and also a red drawer. I'd never seen so much dress-up stuff before.

She had a plate collection on one wall with some really neat plates. The oriental one was my favorite. For some reason, these figurines and jar really caught my eye. As I looked at the figures, I made up a short story about what they were doing. (He was asking her to dance and she didn't want to. She was getting ready to hide in the white jar.)

This is E's senior portrait. She doesn't want it because she says "why would I want to hang up a photo of myself" and I told her I'd take it and put it up because I love it.

I didn't get to have a relaxing snoop because time was short. It was maybe a good 20 minutes and I giggled like a lunatic the whole time. She had some cedar chests that I would have liked to have gotten into and I didn't even peek into the boxes in the closet. Maybe next year.

What, Do I Look Like A Leper?

Perhaps I have mentioned my OCD at dinner tables? When dining out, I like to have everything tidied away. When a friend came down a couple of weeks ago we went to Joe's Crab Shack and it was the best dining experience ever. I ordered crab legs and they came to you in a giant bucket. That giant bucket was turned into my trash bucket and not only were the crab leg shells plopped in there but also the used napkins and whatnot. Friend told me that when she saw the waitress set the bucket down and saw the gleam in my eye that she knew exactly why I was so pleased.

I go back to Joe's today and get the same waitress and she remembers me. Remembers me as the girl who liked having a trash can at the table. She even said, "Yeah! I remember you! With the touch of OCD!" And then she wanted to have a conversation about why I was eating alone.

Going places alone doesn't usually bug me. Until other people point it out and then it makes me feel like a total fucking loser.

Conversation with Sweety...

What did you do today?

Ate at Joe's Crab Shack.

Alone?

Yes. The crab was very good. And the dessert was tasty.

You actually sat down and ate alone?

Yes. Don't I need to fucking eat even if I'm alone?

Wow. Wish I had a picture of that.

WTF? So thanks, Sweety. Not only did the waitress make me feel like an outcast, you did too.

I took the plunge and got my own domain to host the blog from. I'm still figuring out how things work so it will be a bit before the move is made. I've spent the last two days at the computer just playing with things and finding out what I need to do. Right now, I'm in the self-taught class for WordPress Plugins: Making Those Bitches Work.

Finishing off with some photos of the Tasha Bean aka Stinky Dog. She didn't really want to pose for me at first but she perked up when she heard that she was secretly Cissy's favorite. She likes to look happy for her fans. She said to let you know that you can click the photos to view her in her full splendor.

Life Plan

Aunt Anna? I already have all of my careers planned out.

Plan A. Be an Olympic gold medal swimmer.

Plan B. Be a treasure hunter.

Plan C. Open a little Korean restaurant.

It's good to know that she's thinking ahead.

Saturday Night! See It Unfold!

A little piece of me just died. Sweety insisted that we watch some of P. Diddy's video blogs. Don't ask me how in the fuck that happened. Now he is walking around the house saying to me, "That's Uncle Sean to you, bitch." He'll be lucky if I don't pluck his tongue out.

I'm trying to teach Tiny Dog to ring a bell whenever she needs to take a shit. So far, so not good. I ring the bell like a loon whenever I want her to go outside and say "outside!" in a chipper tone and she looks at me like I'm crazy. Surely she will catch on soon and make things easier by signaling her desire to piss outside instead of sneakily on a rug.

She knows I'm talking about her. I'm getting the evil eye.

Speaking of evil...

Do you think she looks creepy in this picture?


My sister said it looks like she's smiling evilly and she thinks if Tiny could move her toes that she'd give Sweety the finger in this photo.

Football is on the t.v. right now. Woo hoo.

Oh good. The team he wanted to win did.

Hi, Stinky Dog with the bloody ass! How are you? Oh, your hindquarters are sore where you chewed them today for the first time in forever? I'm sorry that you're an allergy ridden mess. Surely your new meds will go to work soon.

Niiice. I launched her onto the couch and she positioned herself so her medicated, bloody ass is touching me. Gack. At least she isn't nibbling anymore. I think we nipped it in the bud.

I finally get brave and install an instant messenger service on my computer and my instant messagee isn't online. Drat.

Sweety decided to do some reorganizing today. He took this little cabinet thing that had been in the garage and moved it onto the back porch. I was watching him through the door when he opened the cabinet and a swarm of fucking palmetto bugs came out and rushed him. As he fell back, I screamed and hid in the bathroom. He won. For a while, it looked like the Trail of Tears on the back porch but it was giant dying bugs. All of the rain we've had the past week or so really drove them in. I'm glad they used the garage cabinet as an apartment instead of moseying on inside.

Hey! I just remembered! Sweety has a long sheet of big-bubble bubbled wrap in the garage and it is positioned under his tire. He is going to run the car over it for me later.

No work for me for the next two days! Wootie woot!

It is now 11:38 p.m. and when I said earlier that Sweety's football team won? I was wrong. That must have been the end of the first quarter or something. The game is now over and they really did win. I'm not too up on football.

For the love of Dog, people!

She had her moment to shine and now it is my turn! Bask in my glory, bipeds!


I hear that the bitch Chi Chi is on vacation and Mama can't wait for her to come back. What the hell is up with that? I am a far superior dog. As proof, I present to you my sack - it is the larger one on the right. How can a better dog fit in a smaller sack?


I will tell you how. It can't. I am bigger, therefore, I contain more doggy goodness. End of discussion.

Miscellany

Someone close to me^* got some really disheartening news today concerning their employment status and how their employer of several years views them. I am madder than a hornet's nest. It really goes to show that you can give 120% and still be told "fuck off" in the end. I'm not really sure how this will all be dealt with. There are a couple of options at this point. I'm a big fan of signs. Like, "if things go this way then I will do this" sort of thing. If things go well tomorrow in regards to something pretty major, then I will relax. I have a funny feeling that things won't go the way that we'd like though. We shall see.

My schedule this week has been all weird. Instead of working four 10 hour days, I'm doing five 8 hour days. Monday through Friday. This is because I had to do some training for 3 days this week. When I got this job (too fucking long ago) it was described as customer service. You call me when you have a late fee or don't recognize something on your bill. Now, we're having to deal with internet issues. I am so not looking forward to those kinds of calls.

The boys have begged us to let them ride their bikes to school for the past couple of years and we didn't let them because they were going to different schools and it was just as easy for us to pick them up from school. This is the first (and only) year that they will be in middle school together and we told them this summer that they could ride their bikes this year. They have been so excited.

The first day of school got here and they went to school and filled their backpacks with roughly 30 pounds of books apiece. They hadn't been able to ride their bikes yet because school had been closed due to the tropical storm and their schedules weren't set. They decided yesterday that they won't ride their bikes because their backpacks are too heavy. They're afraid that they'll turn turtle when going around a curve. They get lockers at school (that you have to freaking pay for) but are only allowed to go to them during certain times of the day so they end up carrying all of their stuff. It sucks.

Chi Chi 2.0 should be returning from her vacation soon. They said they'd contact me a couple of weeks before she was ready to get the final payment and they did that in the last week or so. I'm really hoping that it looks like she's sleeping and not just a dead dog in the corner.

One of my friends in Texas was one of Chi Chi's early owners and she has Chi Chi's registration papers tucked away somewhere. She will send them to me when she finds them. That is when I will be ready for a new dog. I'm going to try and track down one of Chi Chi's relatives.

^*Like sleeping in the next room close to me.

Nocturnal Fun

I know that I've mentioned that Sweety sometimes talks in his sleep. Last night, I took it to a whole new level.

For about the past 4 or 5 nights, I'll think that we are having a real conversation and then he'll start talking about crazy shit and I'll realize that he is dreaming.

He spooned up against me last night and cranked up the following conversation.

You really do hate Tom Cruise don't you?

Yes. Yes, I do.

Why? Whyyyyy? Do you hate him?

I think he's a crazy little fucker and I have no use for him.

So you don't like any of his movies?

Nope.

Color of Money?

Never seen it but I don't like it.

How can you say that when you haven't seen it? You really do have a black heart for Tom Cruise. I feel sorry for him. He will die soon.

And now we have maybe a minute's worth of silence.

What do you want?

Huh?

What do you really want the most?

At this point I'm trying to decide if he's awake or not because he does like to poke at me about my disdain for Tom Cruise so maybe he is truly awake. I decide to conduct an experiment.

A bottled water from the icebox.

A bottled water is what you want the most?

Yes. Would you get me one, please?

I'm thinking if he's really asleep that he'll just roll over and maybe pretend to get a water from and imaginary icebox. Instead he sits up and I think, "Oh, shit. He's awake! I'm gonna have to drink all of that damn water!". He gets out of bed and crashes into the wall. That's when I realize that he it asleep.

I follow him into the kitchen and when he opens the icebox, I flip on the light and ask him what the hell he's doing. I can see the look of surprise on his face and when he answers it's in a small, pitiful voice.

Getting you a water?

Why?

No reply.

Why are you getting me a water?

Um, I dunno...

At this point I am laughing hysterically and he is standing there naked and confused.  He runs whimpering back to bed. I go back and tell him of the conversation we've been having.

We are laying there for about 10 minutes and he pipes up.

I'm scared to go back to sleep. What if I wake up and I'm driving naked to the beach?

Don't worry. I'll protect you.

No you won't! You just made me do a trick!

That was before I realized that your unconscious self needed protecting. I won't do that to you again.

I can't wait to see what sort of fun tonight's bedtime holds.

Doh!

For the past few weeks at work, I've noticed a door with a sign on the outside that said "Contemplation Room". I'm always on the lookout for a place to nap and I started peeking into it.

There is a tiny round table, a chair and a rug. That's it.

I'd looked in there a few times the past couple of weeks and it had always been empty. I decided to make myself at home in there today on my lunch break and take a nap.

I turned the sign on the door to read "in use" and went inside and put my purse on the table.

That is when I realized that there was a listing of times on the noteboard on the wall.

Oh. Nice. I guess you have to sign up to come in here and nap! Wonder who I need to talk to about getting on the list?

Why is there a little oriental rug on a floor that is already carpeted? Maybe I could nap on it?

I'm poking the rug around with my toe when it dawns on me that the room is set up for Islamic folks to have somewhere to do their praying. The times on the noteboard are the times of the day that they're supposed to pray.

Unfortunately, the door didn't lock so I smoothed the rug down and left.

I didn't want to be napping in there and have someone wanting to get their Salat on bust in on me.

A Sweaty Ball Of Fury

That's me.

Sweaty and furious.

The Fury descended at about 2 a.m. last night and I'm having a hard time tamping it down. I don't know why I'm so pissed.

Sweety and I were being all romantic when I started feeling mad. So I did really mean things to him last night and he loved every minute. I thought that I'd be calmer today when I woke but I'm not. I feel super alert. Super alert and ready to flip out with the slightest bit of provoking.

It doesn't help that I had to go to motherfucking Wal-Mart twice today. Are you required to have a head injury in order to work there? I think so.

I went to 3 separate stores looking for those black and white composition notebooks and couldn't find a one. The kids will have to do without those til some can be tracked down.

I remember when I was a kid and the only school supplies we needed were paper, pencils and crayons or colored pencils. We have 3 pages of shit between the boys of stuff that they need.

I guess the boys are a little put out because they didn't get brand spanking new shoes for school. BigBrother(13) has a pair that's been worn maybe two or three times and LittleBrother(11) has a pair that belonged to BB but were barely worn. BB's have a tiny scuff on the toe and he doesn't like that. A. SCUFF. ON. THE. TOE. OF. THE. SHOE. I told Sweety to give that shoe to BB and tell him to fuck himself with it and wear the damn thing. Shoes are made to get dirty. You know, because they are on the ground and all.

I can't believe that I told Sweety to tell a 13 year old kid to fuck himself and am telling you about it. I blame The Fury.

8/18/8 12:16 a.m.

In the 2.5 hours since writing the last sentence, I've had:

2 pieces of toast with honey butter and a glass of milk.

A shower.

2 melatonin.

2 Aleve.

I no longer feel like kicking someone in the head just for the hell of it. Phwew.

Wootie Woot

It's Friday night! Well, it's really Saturday morning but whose who's counting? Hey, did I use "whose" right there? Mebbe.

Polishing off a mixture of ginger ale and Crown Royal that is 6 weeks old. It ages well.

I think Sweety is watching the Olympics. All I see are some running motherfuckers.

I think if I can get Sweety drunk enough that he will let Tiny Dog sleep with me.

Why is he tweaking his own nipple?

Sometimes when I'm really aggravated - I think JFK! or KFC! as short for Jesus Fucking Christ. I know Christ starts with a C and not a K and I don't know why I'd think of Kentucky Fried Chicken when I'm pissed. Is this subliminal?

Hey. Looking at that. JFK could be John F. Kennedy, huh?

Agh, KFB. What an asshole. Sweety likes to push my buttons.

We washed Tiny Dog 5 days ago and I put some perfume that I got as a sample on her and you can still smell it. Bitch is supernatural. Or Stella perfume really kicks ass. I'm leaning towards Tiny being supernatural. I wore Stella once but still needed a bath after only one day.

Heh. I just sucked the last of the soda out of the bottle. The only things left to drink in the house are a couple of sips of Gatorade and some Bacardi 151.

Do you twitter? You need to follow my sister. She's tickles me.

Hahahahaha! I think Sweety is going to bed! Do you know what this means? I can skip my shower and take one in the morning AND take Tiny Bed to dog with me! I'll have to wait til I hear him snore though.

Do you think it's weird if you let your dog stick its head in your mouth? I think that as long as her fur doesn't touch the inside of my mouth that it's okay. Some folks think it's odd.

1:32 and all is weeeeelllll! Night.

Lazy Thursday

Tiny Dog is on a supplement for her leg that likes to flop out of socket. She just started taking it but hopefully it will work and we won't have to go the surgical route. The pills are huge. Really big. She takes 1/2 of one and I have to chop it in half or thirds to hide it in food for her.

Tonight as I was chopping up the pill, I had a huge urge chop it up like cocaine and then use my driver's license to put it in neat rows and then see if she would snort it. Lucky for her, the urge subsided while I was digging around in my purse for the license and I just mixed it up with her food instead. But I wonder? Could she be forced trained to snort the shit? That would be so much easier than hiding it in food. Sometimes she finds it and spits it out. That infuriates me. I'm just trying to make you feel better. Eat it! Eat it!

When I lived in Texas, I worked the overnight shift in the office at a big box retailer's distribution center. There I met one of my dearest buddies (S) and she's still with the same company. We might not talk on the phone for months at a time but when we do talk, it's like we just spoke yesterday. She's in FL for work for a couple of weeks and she came here on her days off. She got here Tuesday night and we took the boys and NeighborGirl to Sea World yesterday. NG and the boys went off on their own and rode rides while S and I did the shows and walked all over the place. She had to leave this morning but it was so good to see her. This is the first time she's been to my house down here and the first time she's met the boys. LittleBrother(11) really took to her and wanted to hang out whenever we were sitting around talking. That surprised me because he usually hides from strangers.

I took today as a vacation day because S and I had planned on going to the beach but the weather didn't cooperate this morning so she just went back to her hotel that's a few hours away. I think I was still tired from all the walking yesterday because the girls and I napped on the couch for the larger part of the day.

It's official - I can't eat jalapeno peppers like popcorn anymore. I swear, every time I've been to the bathroom today - Stinky Dog lays down in the line of sight of the doorway and Tiny Dog humps the hell out of her. It's kind of unsettling to try and do violent business in the bathroom with the "tap-tap-tap-tap" sound that Tiny's back feet make on the floor while she's humping. Very surreal.

I better go. Sweety just called and he's on his way home. I need to bathe and try to look presentable. Or clean at the very least.

It's Good To Be Clean

Let's say your wife meets someone on the internet and really likes them. Wants to be their friend because they have cool dogs. And she goes on vacation to meet internet friend and the first night they are alone - they hot tub together. Naked as the day is long.

Would this bug you?

It really bugged the shit out of Sweety last year. This year, we took photos to demonstrate just how large the tub is. It's not like we were even touching in there.




In that second photo, she's in an odd position because she fell in the tub when running to get back in after pushing the camera button. (That is also why we were cackling.) The tub was so big that we didn't even touch when she slid in like a race car into the pit.

You know what can really give a bubble bath a somber tone? When you look over at your tubmate and see that they are crying uncontrollably during the last part of the movie Titanic. I didn't want to openly gawk at her sobs so I peeked at her in the mirrors instead. I cry at movies. Little leaking tears. With Bekah, it was like she'd just fallen down and scraped both of her knees and both elbows.

We had a large time. Friday night we planted ourselves at the bar after drinking lots of rum in our room. That was the night that I helped Bekah have her first earplug experience. We put them in and then couldn't hear each other talk so we twittered and texted each other until we went to sleep. She decided that earplugs weren't for her because she didn't like the sound of her heartbeat. That sound reassures me that I'm still alive and makes it easier to fall asleep.

On Saturday night, we stayed in our room and played cards while drinking lots of rum. (Um, if I remember correctly, I let her win.) Right after we got in the tub that night, our phone started to ring but stopped by the time I got to it. Then, someone from the front desk came to our room to tell us that they'd gotten complaints that we were too loud. I really don't think we were that loud. I think the jacuzzi jets were too loud at that time of night. Or morning. Whatever.

I simply adore her and can't wait to do it again next year!

I Love My Pets. Really. I Do.

Once upon a time there was a Girl and her fish died.

So she got a new one.

He was a good fish.

One day, while in Wallyworld, The Girl decided that Pete7's bowl needed some jazzing up. Maybe he would appreciate some new rocks? Oh, look! Let's get these glass marble things that are red and gold! Now his bowl will match the color scheme on the table that he resides on!

Pete7 was happy for a few months. To be honest, The Girl never really looked at Pete7. She tossed him food sometimes but never really looked at him.

Until suppertime one night.

The Girl noticed that Pete7 had a giant tumor on his head. So giant that he could hardly swim straight.

Then, The Girl noticed that the pretty rocks were no longer pretty. They were plain and clear.

It appeared that the lead paint on the made in China marbles had flaked off. And now Pete7 had a hideous lump on his head. (I so wanted to take a cheese grater to it to try and "cure" him but Sweety vetoed the idea.)

Coincidence? I think not.

Pete7 fought a good fight and had a nice watery funeral a several weeks later.

I think I'm going to reflect on my pet ownership skills before adopting Pete8.