Antsy

It is about 9 a.m. in Chickieville and I'm just waiting for it to be time to go to the airport. That should be about 2 hours from now unless a comet crushes me between now and then.

I am so freaking nervous about leaving my dogs at home. I feel guilty. Guilty because if stinky dog Tasha were home alone she could have run of the house but since tiny dog Oy is here too and she can't be out in the house I'm having Tasha stay in my bedroom with her for part of the day. I'm afraid she is going to howl. I'm afraid tiny dog is gonna poop all over the bathroom and neighbor girl will have a mess to clean up. And I feel bad cause tiny dog will be cooped up inside a lot. Neighbor girl has said she'll check on them frequently, probably more than what I've asked her to but I still feel bad. I guess if this is my biggest worry right now then I'm doing okay. At least flies aren't skating on my eyeballs and my belly is full.

And I swallowed my pride and asked Sweety for money last night since I am one broke ass til payday at the end of the month. He said okay but he likes to tease me about my spending habits. And that embarrasses me. But I suppose if I'm going to ask for money I can take the ribbing that comes with it. We all have our little things that get under our skin. Him picking at me about money is mine. Me mentioning hair loss is his. I learned that the hard way. But I am kind enough to not mention it anymore. Then again, I kind of ask for extra money on a semi-regular basis but he doesn't bitch about his hair falling out too much.

The canines are washed and the boys have just received their Oklahoma haircuts. They look kind of like hedgehogs. Cute. And the house is tidy so I won't be coming home to a mess.

I'm going to end up having to check in my carry on bag. I have one carry on bag on wheels and then one that you carry over the shoulder. The over the shoulder one is the same size as some purses I've see women carry so I thought I could get away with carrying them both on but I guess not. That's okay though. I just didn't want to have to lug around a huge suitcase from place to place when we get there.

BB(10) is all nerky about flying. He's afraid we're gonna fall outta the sky. I thought about slipping him half a xanax in some pudding but decided that might be abuse. I overheard him tell Sweety that he hopes we don't have a plane with a broken engine. No shit, kid.

We get back on the night of the 3rd and I'm off work til the 7th. The boys will probably go to their mom's when we get back so I'll have some alone time. That will be nice after vacation.

We had probably the last sex we will have for 11 days last night. Maybe I'll get my Mom to babysit one night and Sweety and I can go watch submarine races.

Tonight and tomorrow night I will be at my friend Elaine's house. We will drink wine out of a box, play rummy and I'll pet her blind dog and torment the other one. I call the not blind dog Pecan Head in my mind. Cause that's what his head is shaped like. Crazy little dog. I will probably also pet her computer cause it'll be the last one I see til I get home.

Then Saturday night I'm going to my other friend, Nat's house. We'll probably do about the same thing over there. I CANNOT WAIT! I miss seeing my friends in person and it is always so nice to see them. Since I'm not going to be there very long I'm not gonna have time to see my other buddy that lives there. I'll have to catch her next time. Phooey.

And I'll get to eat real mexican food and bbq! And this one little sandwich shop that makes the best broccoli cheese soup is calling my name too.

I guess I'll go twiddle my thumbs some more.

Adios!

So Tell Me Some Stuff

I took this from SK who stole this from Tom’s archives. So I guess it's a "hot" survey. Please don't call the cops. I don't buy Rolexes out of the backs of peoples cars. I have morals, you know.
Copy/paste and answer the following questions in the comment box, pretty please with sugar on top (and if you don't wanna answer all of them, just hit the ones you feel like!):

1. Who are you?
2. How long have you known me?
3. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
4. Describe me in one word.
5. What reminds you of me?
6. If you could give me anything, what would it be?
7. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn’t?
8. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?
9. What do you love like a fat kid loves cake?
10. What makes you come back here?

Vacation Starts Tomorrow! Neener neener!

I can't wait. After I get up from my nappy-poo I'll start packing. I got a kick ass carryon suitcase last night. We decided everyone will just have one carryon so we don't have to go through the crap of checking in at the airport. And the best part is, the bag is PINK as hell. I thought "am I not gonna like this later?" But decided fuck it. Pink's been my favorite color for about the last 7 years and I don't think I'll change my mind on that anytime soon. Plus, it'll be easy to spot in the overhead bin. I am almost excited to start packing so I can use it. Maybe I'll go stick tiny dog in it just for a test run.

I spraypainted on another tan a few minutes ago. Hopefully the results will be even. Even though it says you don't have to rub it in I did to make sure there's no streaks. When you're sleep deprived and painting your own body, you can never be to careful.

Man, I'll be glad when payday gets here. The end of the month is a long effing time away.

Goodnight.

Flashing the Neighbors

I just strolled nekkid into the garage to throw some trash away, not realizing that the garage door was open and one of the neighbors was in her driveway. I don't think I was spotted. I hate living in a neighborhood.

I learned something about the spray on self tanner last week. If you have mosquito bites and you spraypaint yourself and then scratch in your sleep your fake tan will be all fucked up. I mean Fucked up with capital F. I think I've managed to scrub it off so I'm gonna have Sweety spray me down evenly later instead of doing it myself.

I shall go pass out now.

Dear sleep gods, please do not give me any scary dreams. Something pornographic would be nice though. Thank you and amen.

Dinged Out

My dad and his family have left. It was nice to see them but nice to have the pad back to myself. I just ate a sleeping pill so hopefully I'll be able to get in a decent nap before work. I have to work some guy's shift tonight so he will work my Thursday. I hope the night goes by quickly.

Sweety and I had a conversation the other night and he considers the type of communication I do at work with my coworkers flirting. Look, it's one in the morning, I'm dinged out tired and bored. If I wanna throw a paperwad at someone there really is no sexual connotation involved. I told him it's something he'll just have to deal with while I'm in the land of the working. A place I will be for the next 2 effing years. We figured that if I continue to work til August of 2007 (when the lease on the Pilot is up) we can pay off all our bills, get my boobies done and get a pool. And I am really liking the idea of having a pool and a privacy fence. I figure I've already been at this place 3 and a half years. What's 2 more? I'll just have to make sure to never run out of paxil or xanax. And keep my fingers crossed that I don't piss anyone off and get canned.

Tiny dog Oy got her last set of shots today. She has now passed out from the exhaustion of it all. Do you know how much it is to get a dog spayed? 120 freaking dollars. Sheesh. I thought it was like 50 or 60. Sweety told me to ask them how much they'd lower the price if they did it while she was awake. That's why I love him. He is one sicko.

Oooohhhh weeeeee, the sleeping pill is kicking my ass.

Effed Up Dreams

I had a dream the yesterday that freaked me the fuck out and I can't get it out of my head. In it aliens had landed. At first they looked like little cute babies but they grew very fast. In the teenager phase the looked like Bekah's dog Prinny in this photo. But they didn't have hair. Same face though.

No wonder I felt so uneasy after I woke up yesterday.

My Wednesday Night Fun

Sweety made a run to the beer store for me a few days ago. He was going to get some Patron tequila, which I think is the bomb, but they were out. The clerk told him they had a delivery that would be arriving shortly but he decided to buy another brand instead of wait. After seeing my reaction after having a shot he told me he would wait for the delivery truck next time. Later Sweety built a couple of body shots. He's okay with nasty tequila if he's sucking it out of my bellybutton.




And then after I was done with a couple of those I thought it would be okay to let tiny dog eat out of the sink and sniff the garbage disposal like she's been dying to.



That's our new countertop. I love it. And see the spout thing? It's also a pressure washer/tiny dog shower. We are really not totally unhygenic people.

I Just Feel Like Screaming

I've been feeling pretty crummy the past few days. I'm not sure why. Yesterday I was consumed with a feeling that something HORRIBLE was fixing to happen. I felt like crying but was too busy looking at the sky, waiting for it to fall on me, to bother. I'm not so jumpy today. Which is a good thing.

We're fixing to have houseguests. My Dad, Stepmom, her son and one of his friends. I may be kind of anxious about that. I'm a terrible hostess.
Breakfast? There's a McDonald's up the road.
Dinner? Well, we're having something that was frozen in a box.
I just got off the phone with my Dad and he is about 8 hours away. This means I will not see them before I go to work. So I can put off being around a bunch of people til tomorrow. This is a good thing also.

Wow, my day is looking good.

Things are getting scarce in the places I like to frequent in blogland. On hiatus Sarcastic Kitty, Bad Girl and there hasn't been a peep from Stuckfornow in awhile. And Suburban Dad poofed away also. Of course, knowing these folks aren't posting doesn't stop me from checking their sites like a dozen times a day to see if they're back. Though in BG's case, it kind of makes me feel good to see that she's not blogging over there. It seems kinda weird to me how one can worry/wonder about someone whose life you read about in little pieces.

I'm trying to find some new blogs to read. But it is hard. I am a creature of intense habit.

Stinky dog has to have a bath today before company lands. Yay. I may hog-tie her and do her nails too. She'd looove all the extra attention. Ha. Maybe I'll just let her be grubby. No, I can't do that. I swear the house gets dirtier faster if the dog is all grubbed out. Must make her tidy like the homestead.

I need to try and sleep some more before work but I feel too keyed up to close my eyes. I wish I knew why I was feeling this way.

Question Regarding Toilet Paper Consumption!

Usually I don't pee in front of Sweety but for some reason tonight I did. Instead of him walking politely out while I patted the coochie dry he watched me unroll the toilet paper and was irked over the amount I used just for a dry job. So I counted them. 12 little double ply squares. I do not think this is an excessive amount. He says he wipes his ass with three. Okay. Whatever. I just like to make sure the job is done properly. I asked him if he'd rather it get all mildewy down there.

Ladies and Gentleman, if you don't mind me asking, how many squares do you use? I wanna know if I'm being wasteful or not.

Tell Me Something I Didn't Know

Your money personality is: Binge Spender

The Binge Spender often has a budget and may be able to follow it for extended periods of time. However, binge spenders have periods in which they overspend. Binge spenders may rationalize their behavior in terms of rewarding themselves (e.g. "I have been working so hard lately that I deserve to splurge on myself"). Other times their overspending may function as a stress reliever in reaction to an emotional crisis. Some Binge Spenders report feeling powerless when the urge to shop or spend comes over them.

Binge spenders often have a large amount of credit card debt. When asked what they used their credit card for, Binge Spenders will often be unable to cite anything more specific than "stuff". They are often ashamed of their spending habits and sometimes will go to great lengths to hide them from loved ones. Guilt and disappointment are emotions that Binge Spenders may experience after buying something.

What Type of Spender are You?

Like I needed an online test to mock me.

9 Days til I Go on Vacation!

Weeee-ha! I can't wait to see my friends in Texas. We're staying 2 nights in TX then going to Oklahoma til July 3. We'll go to the fireworks show they have in the town I went to school in. I am so freaking ready to see my peeps and my family.

The dilemma of what to do with the canines has been solved. We'd kicked around the idea of having Sweety's sis watch them but I think my dogs would be totally freaked out being around her two dogs. Sweety had suggested having neighbor girl watch them but I had nixed the idea cause I didn't want to leave them home alone. But I realize they'd probably be more relaxed if left at home than at someone else's house having to fight to keep from being used as fuck-dolls by the resident dogs. So they shall stay here. Neighbor girl has assured me she will come over many times during the day and she will take the dogs outside so they can just hang out. And (here's the best part) she's gonna wash stinky dog for me before I get home. The only thing better than coming home to a clean house is coming home to a clean dog. And the pay I offered was less than what tiny dog's airplane ticket was going to be. So using my math, I've made money. When the boys heard how much I was paying they offered to stay home instead of going on vacation so they could make some money. Maybe next year...

We got an estimate for a pool. Right at 20 grand. Add another 6 if we put a hot tub-spa thing on it. I don't know what we're gonna do. It would be nice to have a pool and a privacy fence though. I'd run naked all the damn time. People would never even see me in the front yard.

I took the boys to the dollar movie theater today and we watched Because of Winn Dixie. It was alright. An easy way to kill 2 hours without having anyone bug me with "we're soooo bored. what have you got that we can dooooo?" The only bad thing was that today was 50 cent day so the theaters were packed with daycare kids and preschoolers. I felt like I got my money's worth though. Tomorrow we are going to go and watch The Pacifier. I'd almost rather rub my eyes out with my cheese grater but it is better than having to fend off the Monopoly game.

Ah, I hear the troops fussing. The voices of angels. I guess I'll go help Sweety parent. Or just lend some moral support.

Thank Goodness for Earplugs

I love the sounds of a lawn being mowed. Really I do. I don't hold it against my neighbors that I work some fucked up schedule. I understand that they need to mow when I'm sleeping. Maybe I'll do some weed-eating this morning at 2:35 a.m. At least I have some very good earplugs. Just kinda makes it white noise.

This morning I think I found something that will make my back pain tolerable. It was killing me when I got home from work so I ate a xanax. I don't know if the pill made the pain go away but it did make me pass out and when I woke up it wasn't so bad. Usually when it hurts like this I can't even sleep. Viva la xanax! My doc gave them to me for anxiety but I don't take them as often as he says to cause I'd be a zombie. Maybe I will save them just for this.

I just loaded up my little pill divider so I will hopefully remember to take the pills that I should every day. I even threw my birth control one's in there so I shouldn't forget.

Man, tiny dog Oy is such a grouchy little bitch. Stinky dog Tasha is trying to sleep but it's kinda hard with a yapping little bit o' nothing in her ear. I may put Oy in her room so Tasha can have some peace.

Last night at work I put my new purse in a place where I could look at it and pet it unnoticed. It pleases me so. I see women who carry purses that are patterned and stuff but I just don't have enough fashion sense for anything other than black. Though I may go get this purse in a dark brown also, just for when I'm feeling frisky.

We won a watch case for Sweety on ebay. He's got like 4 or 5 watches and some of them are the selfwinding kind. So this thing will shake up to 4 watches and keep them charged up. We'd seen a watch case like this and it was over a freaking thousand dollars. Puh-leeze. I sniped this one off ebay for 76. I hope it's not total crap. Sweety'd never bid on anything before. He got very excited while I was trying to outbid someone else.

I think I'll cram my earplugs in and go post elsewhere.

I'm Not Evil, Really

You scored as agnosticism. You are an agnostic. Though it is generally taken that agnostics neither believe nor disbelieve in God, it is possible to be a theist or atheist in addition to an agnostic. Agnostics don't believe it is possible to prove the existence of God (nor lack thereof). Agnosticism is a philosophy that God's existence cannot be proven. Some say it is possible to be agnostic and follow a religion; however, one cannot be a devout believer if he or she does not truly believe. agnosticism 92% Satanism 79% atheism 75% Islam 67% Buddhism 54% Hinduism 54% Judaism 42% Paganism 21% Christianity 8% Which religion is the right one for you? (new version) created with QuizFarm.com

I wonder what it means that Satanism came in second? I don't sacrifice animals. I mean, I make my little jokes but I never would.

And Just When I Thought It Couldn't Get Any Better

Sweety went to Subway for our usual Sunday lunch. And instead brought me back chinese food. He is effing great. I adore him. I am full like a tick and need a nap before work now.

Wanna See My Stuff?

Yesterday was a good one. Went and watched Mr. & Mrs. Smith. It was okay. I probably wouldn't have enjoyed it as much if Angelina Jolie wasn't in it to ogle. And the fact that there were 3 fresh babies in the audience squawling at random times did nothing for the ambiance either. And the power also went off during the movie so we all had to sit there and wait for the show to start back up. Geez, I guess if I think about it, it was kind of a sucky movie going experience.

Then afterwards we piddled around the mall. Sweety got me a book. I read it awhile back and wanted to get it and when I saw this edition I about peed on myself I got so excited. I carried it around the bookstore with me (it was the last one they had) but then got some early buyer's remorse and put it back on the shelf. He saw me do that and went back and got it. It's a really neat book. It has pictures of a lot of the places and pictures that are referred to in the story.

And then I got a new purse. It's actual real dead animal hide: leather!

See, one side for the crap I MUST NOT lose.


And the other side for my phone and keys and stuff.

It's small so I can't overfill it with trash. I freaking love it. My old one was falling apart. I've never had a nice purse before. I've always carried the same style of purse, small and black, but they have always been purchased on sale at wallyworld (except for one year when I went high-class and got one at target) And then I'll carry it until it is literally falling apart and is an embarrassment to open with a store clerk looking at it. While you may not be interested in a purse that can be purchased at any Dillard's this was quite the event for me. I will probably carry this one until I die.

And while I was snooping around the bookstore Sweety went to Godiva's and got two huge chocolate covered strawberries. Yum-freaking-ee.
Oy liked the empty bag.


On the drive home I had to fill up my new purse. I carried it around the house naked for quite awhile. I didn't want anything to distract from it while I preened carrying it in front of the mirror.

We had a nice quiet night watching the telly. I'm really liking this cable on demand stuff. I've managed to watch all the Penn & Teller Bullshit shows. Quite entertaining.

I've decided to not turn in the FMLA form that I got from work. I don't like going to the doctor and I'd never been to the doctor about my back hurting. I know it's being caused by my breasts and gravity. On the FMLA form you have to sign something saying that you give work permission to view your medical charts. And I don't wanna do that. If I'd been going to the doc's and getting treatment I might not mind but I don't think they need to see that my doctor has me on xanax and paxil cause I dread going to work so much. The whole reason I started the FMLA process was because it was suggested to me by a higher up at work. I'm just going to tell them I'm not sending the form back and why. And I'll also tell them I'm so not faking the back hurting and if they'd like to see how we're refinancing the house to help pay for it I'm okay with that.

How to Kill "The Mood"

On Tuesday night, our first night at the hotel I thought maybe I'd surprise Sweety. So I put on one of my favorite outfits, told him and the sprogs goodnight and went upstairs to watch t.v. and wait for him. I was hiding under the covers so he couldn't see that I was all dressed up. I'm watching Who's Line is it Anyway?, just amusing myself cause this is something I don't usually watch at home when Sweety comes up and changes the channel.

Changes it to the Brad Pitt interview that Diane Sawyer did where the were in Africa showing all the starving underprivileged kids. I know that this sort of stuff is going on but I didn't feel like watching it. I tried to get him to change the channel to no avail. He kept thinking they were gonna show Angelina Jolie at some point and he wanted to stare at her. Dorkwad.

Anyhoo, after about an hour of this show I start taking off my "costume" and toss it back in the suitcase. Sweety is shocked. Wants to know what I've got on and what I'm planning. I told him I started off with good intentions but after being forced to watch the program on t.v. I felt guilty for not being hungry and certainly was too distraught for any bedroom olympics. It didn't feel right to look at kids with flies skating on their eyeballs when I was wearing a corset top and silky shorts.

We did get lots of good sleep on our mini-vacation.

If You Dress Your Dog

Check out the Oy-meister!
Her new shirts arrived just before we left for Tampa so she was pimpin' while she was on vacation.


Here she is modeling nicely.


And here she is sick of sitting on the chair and is thinking of jumping to her death.

I got these from FuFuFashions. I've never bought anything from the site I use Ebay instead. Cheaper. And if you wanna buy lots of little dog clothes and try to hide the cost from your significant other, every cent counts :) If you go to the website and look at the "friends" page stinky and tiny dog are there as well as my old dog, Chi Chi. They are on pages 1 and 9. Chi Chi is the bitchy dog that I owned before that couldn't keep her tongue in her mouth. It just goes to prove that teeth are important. It pleases me to see them up on someone else's website. I'm being a weirdo for my dogs. I'm sure they'd love to see themselves on the big screen.

I freaking love these clothes. You send in the measurements of your dog so the stuff will fit right. I'm gonna wait til Oy is fully grown before I order anything else. She'd outgrown all of her old stuff so new shirts were a necessity. I get such a chuckle out of seeing Oy dressed. And you know that's what tiny dog lives for. To amuse me.

A.L.O.N.E.

It was a nice little trip away but I am glad it is over and I am home alone.
Wheee-ha!

I did see two neato things in Tampa. The first was a fairy ring. It had big flat toadstooly looking things and rounded mushrooms. The second was a mama duck and her 5 babies trapped in the hotel pool. She got them in there then the ducklings couldn't climb out so someone put a towel in the water and they escaped by climbing up it. It was quite an exciting thing to watch. You don't encounter a life or death situation every day, you know?

The past 3 days I taught the boys a lot. What an enema is - we were watching something on national geographic where it was mentioned so I used it as a learning opportunity. What a fairy ring is - no, not a lawn nuisance. A place where a bunch of fairies threw a party the night before. And we invented an imaginary friend while we were at dinner - his name is Bob and he's a compulsive hand washer and spent a lot of time at the bar. I am trying to do my part to make the boys well rounded individuals.

I damn near let tiny dog Oy kill herself at the hotel. She was locked in the bathroom with just her collar on and I guess it's just loose enough that if she bends her head way down she can get it into her mouth like a horse bit. Then she can't get it out. When we got back to the room from eating breakfast she was freaking out and her tongue was an odd color. I am so glad she didn't smothercate. I would be horribly traumatized if my dog died because of the collar I put on her. Until she grows, she's only wearing it when she goes out. She's kinda between sizes on the collar right now.

The trip home should have only taken 2 hours but due to a wonderful traffic snarl-up it took 3 hours and 45 minutes. If the kiddos hadn't have been with me I would've pulled over on the side of the road for a nap and waited for it to clear up.

Sweety had to leave as soon as I got home this morning. I can't wait to see him this weekend. We don't have the kids and the house is reasonably tidy. So I can just be slothful around the house with him and not feel guilty about it. I think we'll go watch Mr. & Mrs. Smith so I can check out my girl. Mmmmm. And I see in the previews she's wearing a leather outfit. Rowr.

I'm gonna go bathe my funky self and then wad up in the bed!

Sweety'll Kill Me if He Sees This

We're going to go hang out in a hotel for the next couple of days. Which means no freaking internet for me. AAAAAgggh! Will I survive? Surely. But you never know.

Unfortunately, stinky dog is over the weight limit so she can't go to the hotel with us. I'm gonna have the neighbor girl come over about every 4 hours to keep her company. I hope she doesn't bark a lot and bug our other neighbor. I'm gonna get the "quiet room" (bathroom with the exhaust fan) ready and let neighbor girl know if she hears her howling too much to poke her in there. I hope stinky dog just enjoys the peace and quiet on the couch.

As my parting gesture I shall share some photos of Sweety acting like a weirdo. Cause if I don't have internet access neither does he. So I can take these down when I get home. Hee hee hee.

Editors Note: It's now June 9. I made it home back to my lovely computer, Raoul. So now the photos of Sweety must go to photo heaven. Amen.

My Issues

I came home from work early last night. I just had this "itchy" feeling and I could not sit in my chair for one more second. I thought I was gonna scream. On the way home I was talking to one of my friends and she said she could hear that "edge" to my voice and asked if I was still eating paxil to help me hang on. Actually no. But I have decided to start taking it again. I'd thought that with Sylvie leaving and with doing something in a different area at work that I would be stressless enough so that I wouldn't need those tasty little pills. I guess I was wrong. I think I'll continue taking it at least til I'm no longer working at this place. Sweety, who was so against me taking any kind of meds to begin with, asked me the other day if I'd quit taking them cause he could tell. Geez, and I thought a bitchy nutjob of a wife was a novelty to have...

And I have so gotta get this skin picking thing ENDED. The last thing I need is to go on vacation and have my Mom harp on little pick marks. The paxil also seemed to help with that. Maybe it will also help with the emotional eating thing. I don't think it's normal to eat 6 pieces of garlic toast while sucking down a 1/2 bottle of whiskey. That sort of thing isn't an every day occurrence, but it would probably be a good idea to squash it before it gets outta hand. I don't want to wake up under the boardwalk with only stinky dog for company a few years from now.

I wish I could just hide out in the bed for a couple of weeks. Get my house all sparkly and smelling good and just hibernate.

There. I just snorted a paxil. I feel better. Maybe I'll figure out how to smoke it too.