This was the phrase BB(10) proudly announced from the backseat yesterday as he and his brother were acting like little trolls. Sweety was driving so I took it upon myself to turn around and give him the evil eye before I got onto him. And I could tell from the look on his face that he had no idea what he had just said. He's been using some big words lately and we've complimented him on that. He thought it was just another good descriptive word. I explained that it wasn't a nice word to use, right up there with the f-word and s-word and when he realized that he started to freaking cry. He was quite embarrassed.
Sweety began a landscaping project yesterday. He's putting some kind of flower bed type thing on the side of the house. There are no actual flowers in it though. Just plants. Our neighbor was kind enough to come over and lend a hand. I stayed inside. I found out later that he was alerted to the project when Sweety went over to borrow his wheelbarrow. Sweety's next gift from me will be a wheelbarrow.
While at the incredibly large home center yesterday buying all the outdoor project stuff, we also got a grill. One of the gas ones with a little burner on the side so you can cook a pot of something while you grill. It's pretty neat. We just had a lunch of hot dogs and corn off of it and it was quite tasty.
I don't know why I have such a hard time wearing earrings. That is the only place on my body that the piercing bothers me. I can take the thing in my tongue or belly button out overnight and there's no problem putting it back in. But if the earrings come out I have to re-pierce them the next morning. Maybe if the piercing is located in a crevice on my body it does better.
I think I'm going to stick to my original plan of if I'm still blogging at the end of the year I'll buy my own space on the internet. The last couple of days I've been on different places where you can set up blogs and I don't want to go through the hassle of it right now and then do it again 6 months from now. No more grouching about blogger. I loove blogger. It is my friend.
We're getting new neighbors directly across the street from us. Rumor is they are from Oklahoma (yay!) and that the man is retiring from the Marines and his younger girlfriend lives with him. What I'm hoping for is an older black guy and some young hot white chick. Because I know that would bug the shit out of our other neighbor. It will be nice to have someone on the block that didn't know or is friends with the exwife. Maybe I'll get brave and polish off some of my socialization skills and see if she is friend material once they get here. Or maybe I'll just slink around the house in my robe.
My stinking sinuses are killing me. My head feels like a rotten watermelon. I feel like my eyes should be all tiny but they look normal. And I started day one of eating better. For me that meant eating 1 hot dog at lunch instead of 3 and diet soda instead of a liter of regular. You gotta start somewhere.
I'm busy plowing through the vampire books that my friend in TX gave me. I only have 3 more to go in the series. Then I'll read the book on Asian American history that my friend from work gave me.
Gee, Sweety is grumbling cause I'm in here tapping on the keyboard instead of in the living room staring at the nascar race with the family. I better go bond.
7/17/05
7/15/05
Grumpy & Sleepy
I had to get up in the middle of my sleep to take a deposit to the bank and log online to make the effing car payment. And it only took 15 minutes to get AOL to come on. Something about not getting a cable connection. After realizing that maybe tiny dog had yanked a cable loose and reconnecting everything was I able to join the internet. Woo hoo.
I was trying to round up the dogs this morning and I heard a "glub glub gurgle" sound coming from stinky dog's bowl. Tiny dog was trying to eat some food bits that stinky had let fall into her water bowl but they were at the bottom of the bowl. So tiny was submerging her freaking head trying to get to the nasty food bits. It was like she was bobbing for apples. I saw her sticking her foot in there the other day to try and get something out but I didn't think she'd try and inhale or exhale with her face in the water bowl. Gross ass little dog. I better keep a good eye on her so she doesn't drown herself. I'm already having to make sure all the toilet seats are always shut cause she has expressed a huge interest in those. I could just see her diving in head first and getting stuck.
On Wednesday tiny dog Oy will be having her uterus removed. I can't wait to see what she acts like coming out from being anesthetized. I'm wondering if they'll let me have the uterus. I've never seen one before. I could put it in a jar and use it as a paperweight at work. When a friend of mine had a minor surgery they let her keep the stuff they took off so I could see it.
It'll be nice to see Sweety on Saturday. I know my work schedule suits me and our life well but is sucks not seeing him 4 nights out of the week. I've thought about going back to working days but I don't think I could handle it.
We are marching forward with our plans to install a pool. We still haven't decided what shape we're getting yet though. The pool guy is coming by again next week so we can get that figured out.
I think I can go pass back out now.
I was trying to round up the dogs this morning and I heard a "glub glub gurgle" sound coming from stinky dog's bowl. Tiny dog was trying to eat some food bits that stinky had let fall into her water bowl but they were at the bottom of the bowl. So tiny was submerging her freaking head trying to get to the nasty food bits. It was like she was bobbing for apples. I saw her sticking her foot in there the other day to try and get something out but I didn't think she'd try and inhale or exhale with her face in the water bowl. Gross ass little dog. I better keep a good eye on her so she doesn't drown herself. I'm already having to make sure all the toilet seats are always shut cause she has expressed a huge interest in those. I could just see her diving in head first and getting stuck.
On Wednesday tiny dog Oy will be having her uterus removed. I can't wait to see what she acts like coming out from being anesthetized. I'm wondering if they'll let me have the uterus. I've never seen one before. I could put it in a jar and use it as a paperweight at work. When a friend of mine had a minor surgery they let her keep the stuff they took off so I could see it.
It'll be nice to see Sweety on Saturday. I know my work schedule suits me and our life well but is sucks not seeing him 4 nights out of the week. I've thought about going back to working days but I don't think I could handle it.
We are marching forward with our plans to install a pool. We still haven't decided what shape we're getting yet though. The pool guy is coming by again next week so we can get that figured out.
I think I can go pass back out now.
7/13/05
Blogger is Crazy
I don't know what's up with the email system that Blogger has. I hadn't been getting emails about any of the comments on any of my blogs that have been left since the beginning of July or if someone sent me mail through my profile.
Now there's like 30 of them sitting in the inbox.
How odd and annoying.
Now there's like 30 of them sitting in the inbox.
How odd and annoying.
Smooth Sailing
Took the sprogs to see The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and they both proclaimed it "awesome". And the dreaded Monopoly game that I signed up for seems to have fallen by the wayside. Things are looking good.
When we got home we took the canines out and they both pooped and peed copious amounts. Then I put them on the porch to eat a treat. I think they both took grudge shits out there. Not enough there so it seemed they Really needed to go (since they had just freaking pottied), just whatever they could squeeeeze out to get my attention with. Thanks, furballs.
Neighborgirl is here playing some kind of video game with the boys. I think this'll probably be the last summer that she'll be over to play with them. By next summer she'll probably be completely be interested in boys and have a social life. I expect the boys to be crushed.
When we got home we took the canines out and they both pooped and peed copious amounts. Then I put them on the porch to eat a treat. I think they both took grudge shits out there. Not enough there so it seemed they Really needed to go (since they had just freaking pottied), just whatever they could squeeeeze out to get my attention with. Thanks, furballs.
Neighborgirl is here playing some kind of video game with the boys. I think this'll probably be the last summer that she'll be over to play with them. By next summer she'll probably be completely be interested in boys and have a social life. I expect the boys to be crushed.
Trying to be Quiet
Day One with the kiddos being back went well. They only asked me 94 times yesterday what we were going to do today. And this was after they'd been at home less than 4 hours. They had lots of questions yesterday and I fell back on a standard answer of "go ask your dad".
I guess their mom's trip to take them to the beach and scatter their stepdad's ashes didn't go as planned. BB said when they got there she told the boys that she couldn't stand the thought of leaving him (the ashes) and they would come back to the beach when they are on their winter break to do it then. How about either do it or don't but quit telling your 10 year old every thought that goes on in your head? Sweety has told her if she needs more time alone to grieve that the kiddos can stay here a little more but she didn't go for that. I think she likes toting around all four of her kids so everyone can see what she now has to handle alone.
Everyone (including the canines) is still asleep. Usually BB is up as soon as the sun comes up to watch the news. I love getting his version of current events.
I have been flirting with having a relationship with Diet Cherry Pepsi instead of regular Coke. So far so good. I can knock out a 2 liter bottle on my off days so I'm glad I finally found something with no calories in it. And using my math system: No calories in my drink = more calories somewhere else.
I don't know what I'm going to do to amuse the boys today. They could spend all day in front of the t.v. but I like to actually interact with them some. I did obligate myself to a game of Monopoly with LB. Oh joy. Have I mentioned that I hate that stinking game? I thought about carrying them to the dollar theater but then I'd have Sweety grouching at me about how much gas is and did I know I drove 50 miles roundtrip to go to a movie. He forgets that from where I grew up you drove 50 miles one way to see a movie. So again using my math system I am saving miles compared to what I'm used to.
I guess their mom's trip to take them to the beach and scatter their stepdad's ashes didn't go as planned. BB said when they got there she told the boys that she couldn't stand the thought of leaving him (the ashes) and they would come back to the beach when they are on their winter break to do it then. How about either do it or don't but quit telling your 10 year old every thought that goes on in your head? Sweety has told her if she needs more time alone to grieve that the kiddos can stay here a little more but she didn't go for that. I think she likes toting around all four of her kids so everyone can see what she now has to handle alone.
Everyone (including the canines) is still asleep. Usually BB is up as soon as the sun comes up to watch the news. I love getting his version of current events.
I have been flirting with having a relationship with Diet Cherry Pepsi instead of regular Coke. So far so good. I can knock out a 2 liter bottle on my off days so I'm glad I finally found something with no calories in it. And using my math system: No calories in my drink = more calories somewhere else.
I don't know what I'm going to do to amuse the boys today. They could spend all day in front of the t.v. but I like to actually interact with them some. I did obligate myself to a game of Monopoly with LB. Oh joy. Have I mentioned that I hate that stinking game? I thought about carrying them to the dollar theater but then I'd have Sweety grouching at me about how much gas is and did I know I drove 50 miles roundtrip to go to a movie. He forgets that from where I grew up you drove 50 miles one way to see a movie. So again using my math system I am saving miles compared to what I'm used to.
7/12/05
Refreshed
What a nice sleep. There's nothing better than being woken by my little furbabies' yelps and barks. It makes me feel so wanted...so, dare I say, loved? Ha fucking ha.
I don't have dogs. I have pigs in dogs clothing. Offer them a treat and the little stinkers are out the door. Which is what I finally had to offer them to get them out of the house. They were running around playing tag and stinky dog Tasha's bassett hound bark was getting to be too much to listen to. The easiest way to quiet her is with some type of treat that will keep her busy for awhile. Tiny dog Oy stays busy just trying to eat treat bits that fall outta stinky's mouth.
I'm actually going to put on my workout clothes instead of my pajamas when I get dressed. I've gotta start going back to the gym. I have gained 8 pounds since my liposuction ordeal in December and I had 20 to lose going into that. I'm going to lose 30 pounds before I get my tits hitched up. There's no point in spending all this freaking money on my body if I'm not putting any effort towards it. Yummy Slimfast, here I come!
Great. The canines just barked to let me know they want in off the porch and they have both taken poops out on it. Did I not take you ungrateful dogs outside less than 10 minutes ago? Maybe it just feels better to have concrete next to your ass instead of grass when you're going that close to the ground.
I need to go tidy up my house and make it presentable for the photo tour that I promised my friend, e. Now that includes picking up after the dogs. Yech.
I don't have dogs. I have pigs in dogs clothing. Offer them a treat and the little stinkers are out the door. Which is what I finally had to offer them to get them out of the house. They were running around playing tag and stinky dog Tasha's bassett hound bark was getting to be too much to listen to. The easiest way to quiet her is with some type of treat that will keep her busy for awhile. Tiny dog Oy stays busy just trying to eat treat bits that fall outta stinky's mouth.
I'm actually going to put on my workout clothes instead of my pajamas when I get dressed. I've gotta start going back to the gym. I have gained 8 pounds since my liposuction ordeal in December and I had 20 to lose going into that. I'm going to lose 30 pounds before I get my tits hitched up. There's no point in spending all this freaking money on my body if I'm not putting any effort towards it. Yummy Slimfast, here I come!
Great. The canines just barked to let me know they want in off the porch and they have both taken poops out on it. Did I not take you ungrateful dogs outside less than 10 minutes ago? Maybe it just feels better to have concrete next to your ass instead of grass when you're going that close to the ground.
I need to go tidy up my house and make it presentable for the photo tour that I promised my friend, e. Now that includes picking up after the dogs. Yech.
Night Noises
Sweety had to go to work early. So I get to dink around on the computer til my eyes burn.
Stinky dog's asleep on the floor making weird noises. I can't tell if they're coming from her front end or her back end.
I took a peek at some art/photos that creeped me out. I found them here over at Anne Arkham's place. I told myself I'd wait til later to look at all the galleries but felt compelled to check them all out while I was there. I may go back myself into a corner and read a book til daylight. Oh, gee. Nevermind. I'm reading a book about freaking vampires right now.
The boys will be back today. It's been 8 childfree days. I almost don't want to go to bed because I want to enjoy the alone time quiet.
I guess I better go try and think pleasant thoughts to amuse myself to sleep with.
Mental note to self: Call Dad for his birthday. Check.
Stinky dog's asleep on the floor making weird noises. I can't tell if they're coming from her front end or her back end.
I took a peek at some art/photos that creeped me out. I found them here over at Anne Arkham's place. I told myself I'd wait til later to look at all the galleries but felt compelled to check them all out while I was there. I may go back myself into a corner and read a book til daylight. Oh, gee. Nevermind. I'm reading a book about freaking vampires right now.
The boys will be back today. It's been 8 childfree days. I almost don't want to go to bed because I want to enjoy the alone time quiet.
I guess I better go try and think pleasant thoughts to amuse myself to sleep with.
Mental note to self: Call Dad for his birthday. Check.
7/11/05
What Is Good About My Job
Last night right before he got in bed Sweety told me that he had done something that he swore he would never do. I thought he was fixing to tell me he tripped and his dick landed somewhere it shouldn't have so after finding the closest object to brain him with (a fairy statue) I asked him what that was. And he revealed that he depends on my income and it was something that he didn't intend to happen. I guess that when you've been together for awhile and your wife likes to spend money and buy crap this kind of thing will occur.
So, I have been coming up with things that are good about my job. To keep me motivated.
* The building is clean.
* The bathrooms are clean.
* There is always toilet paper in the bathrooms.
* There are free feminine supplies in the bathrooms.
* The outside is nicely landscaped.
* I'm not working in the sun.
* I don't have to deal with the public face-to-face.
* The air conditioning always works.
* I get to be an ant.
With all of these wonderful perks, in addition to getting a paycheck, you'd think I'd be chomping at the bit every day to go to work. But I am not.
I'm going to try and rustle up my enthusiasm before I leave for work in 21 minutes.
So, I have been coming up with things that are good about my job. To keep me motivated.
* The building is clean.
* The bathrooms are clean.
* There is always toilet paper in the bathrooms.
* There are free feminine supplies in the bathrooms.
* The outside is nicely landscaped.
* I'm not working in the sun.
* I don't have to deal with the public face-to-face.
* The air conditioning always works.
* I get to be an ant.
With all of these wonderful perks, in addition to getting a paycheck, you'd think I'd be chomping at the bit every day to go to work. But I am not.
I'm going to try and rustle up my enthusiasm before I leave for work in 21 minutes.
Post-Coital Chit Chat
Me: My left nose hole isn't working.
Him (trying to drift off to sleep): Hmph.
Me: I think it's a signal.
Him (moving his body away so my foot can't touch him anymore): What, like from aliens?
Me (chasing him around bed with my foot so it can touch him): Yes. And some of the neurons in my body need to be touching you in order for me to process the signal. Just leave my foot there.
After a few minutes of allowing my foot to connect with his ankle I flop over on my belly to sleep.
Him: Are you done using me now?
Me: Yes, the signal has been deciphered.
Him: What was it? Are the aliens coming to attack?
Me: No, it was a false alarm. Zorcom hit my signal button with his elbow while reaching for his coffee cup.
Him: Aliens drink coffee?
Me: No, I didn't say there was coffee in it. Just that it was a coffee cup.
Him: So what do they drink? Human brains?
Me: Bile. They can take out your gallbladder and you'll never even know cause you can live without it. But it's okay. We're all safe...For now.
And I wonder why he thinks I'm a nutball sometimes.
Him (trying to drift off to sleep): Hmph.
Me: I think it's a signal.
Him (moving his body away so my foot can't touch him anymore): What, like from aliens?
Me (chasing him around bed with my foot so it can touch him): Yes. And some of the neurons in my body need to be touching you in order for me to process the signal. Just leave my foot there.
After a few minutes of allowing my foot to connect with his ankle I flop over on my belly to sleep.
Him: Are you done using me now?
Me: Yes, the signal has been deciphered.
Him: What was it? Are the aliens coming to attack?
Me: No, it was a false alarm. Zorcom hit my signal button with his elbow while reaching for his coffee cup.
Him: Aliens drink coffee?
Me: No, I didn't say there was coffee in it. Just that it was a coffee cup.
Him: So what do they drink? Human brains?
Me: Bile. They can take out your gallbladder and you'll never even know cause you can live without it. But it's okay. We're all safe...For now.
And I wonder why he thinks I'm a nutball sometimes.
7/10/05
Whew.
What a long freaking day.
Stinky dog Tasha got some extra attention today after her bath. I performed the semi-annual doggy nail trim. You'd think I was trying to cut her kidneys out with the clippers with the way she carries on. Finally got it finished though.
Tiny dog Oy got a bath too. Not that it'll do much good. I see that she has Tasha's drool all over her head right now. So she'll be smelling just like the inside of Tasha's mouth soon. Lovely.
I've just about folded all of the laundry. I usually get the whole house clean and then ignore the full laundry basket. But since the house was pretty much clean I decided to fold the clothes while I finished watching a movie. I just need to give the bathrooms a swipe and then everything should be tidy.
I'm going to take pictures of my house later to post for my friend Elaine. She hasn't been down here yet and I told her I'd do it when I got back from vacation. Maybe tomorrow.
At about noon I went with Sweety to his sister's house cause he said he was going to help hang drywall. He also installed lighting and insulation and didn't even get to the drywall part yet. We didn't get home til after 11 p.m. I was afraid that the dogs would have destroyed my room and bathroom while we were gone but everything was pretty ok. I guess Oy is kinda paper trained since that's what she used. One of the dogs left me a nice runny puke surprise under my computer desk. Mental note to self: block off area under computer desk. It was pretty disgusting cleaning puke offa all the wires down there. If I would've know that we were going to be gone so long I would've taken them with me over there.
I am so going to sleep hard tonight.
Stinky dog Tasha got some extra attention today after her bath. I performed the semi-annual doggy nail trim. You'd think I was trying to cut her kidneys out with the clippers with the way she carries on. Finally got it finished though.
Tiny dog Oy got a bath too. Not that it'll do much good. I see that she has Tasha's drool all over her head right now. So she'll be smelling just like the inside of Tasha's mouth soon. Lovely.
I've just about folded all of the laundry. I usually get the whole house clean and then ignore the full laundry basket. But since the house was pretty much clean I decided to fold the clothes while I finished watching a movie. I just need to give the bathrooms a swipe and then everything should be tidy.
I'm going to take pictures of my house later to post for my friend Elaine. She hasn't been down here yet and I told her I'd do it when I got back from vacation. Maybe tomorrow.
At about noon I went with Sweety to his sister's house cause he said he was going to help hang drywall. He also installed lighting and insulation and didn't even get to the drywall part yet. We didn't get home til after 11 p.m. I was afraid that the dogs would have destroyed my room and bathroom while we were gone but everything was pretty ok. I guess Oy is kinda paper trained since that's what she used. One of the dogs left me a nice runny puke surprise under my computer desk. Mental note to self: block off area under computer desk. It was pretty disgusting cleaning puke offa all the wires down there. If I would've know that we were going to be gone so long I would've taken them with me over there.
I am so going to sleep hard tonight.
7/9/05
Nice Things About the TX Sidetrip
Before we went to my Mom's in OK we stopped for a couple of days in TX so I could visit my friends and Sweety could see his sister.
And while I was there, my lovely friend Elaine, gave me all of the books in the Anita Blake/Vampire Hunter series. When she was telling me about them I didn't think I'd like them but they are very engaging and easy to read. They are my popcorn books that I'm reading at work right now.
I stayed 2 nights at Elaine's house and finally got to meet her boyfriend of about the past year or so. He was really nice and really seemed to go out of his way to be nice to Elaine and she adores him. I am glad. The first night I was there she and I sat up til 2 a.m. talking and the second night all 4 of us played cards. It was a large time.
The last night I was there I was at my friend Natalie's house. She has twins (boy and girl) and the boy had a baseball game so we went to that and then afterwards her boyfriend/kids dad bought us dinner. There's this little roadside stand thing where they sell boiled crawfish, shrimp, potatoes and corn and that's what we had. I'm not a fan of crawfish but I love spicy boiled shrimp. It was very very tasty. I was actually sweating before I was finished eating cause of the spices. I told the kids a bedtime story and they seemed to love it. And then we sat up late playing cards and talking. It's always nice being at her house.
I hated to leave TX. I miss having these kinds of friends around close.
And while I was there, my lovely friend Elaine, gave me all of the books in the Anita Blake/Vampire Hunter series. When she was telling me about them I didn't think I'd like them but they are very engaging and easy to read. They are my popcorn books that I'm reading at work right now.
I stayed 2 nights at Elaine's house and finally got to meet her boyfriend of about the past year or so. He was really nice and really seemed to go out of his way to be nice to Elaine and she adores him. I am glad. The first night I was there she and I sat up til 2 a.m. talking and the second night all 4 of us played cards. It was a large time.
The last night I was there I was at my friend Natalie's house. She has twins (boy and girl) and the boy had a baseball game so we went to that and then afterwards her boyfriend/kids dad bought us dinner. There's this little roadside stand thing where they sell boiled crawfish, shrimp, potatoes and corn and that's what we had. I'm not a fan of crawfish but I love spicy boiled shrimp. It was very very tasty. I was actually sweating before I was finished eating cause of the spices. I told the kids a bedtime story and they seemed to love it. And then we sat up late playing cards and talking. It's always nice being at her house.
I hated to leave TX. I miss having these kinds of friends around close.
7/8/05
Highlights From Our OK Trip & Assorted Thoughts
We took the kiddos snipe hunting. For the uninitiated snipe hunting is when you take people that don't know what's going on out into the dark with a paper bag and leave them to catch the mythical snipe. And I know that there is a bird known as a snipe, but for this you're not hunting any bird.
On they way back to my Mom's house from the neato cabin we stayed in I mentioned to Sweety that maybe the boys were old enough for their first snipe hunt. He agreed and we began to tell tall tales of what cute fuzzy creatures snipes are and how they can be carried on the plane if we get any. So of course the boys get very excited and are quizzing everyone in my family about snipes. At about 9:30 that night each of the boys got a plastic bag and I taught them the official snipe call (wooo-wooo snipe snipe snipe!). Then I walked them to the dirt road in front of my Mom's house and told them I needed to go guard the perimeter against foxes because everyone knows that foxes just loooove to eat some snipe. I went and hid just by the front door of the house and I saw Sweety crouched by the corn field. I thought he was there to calm the boys down if they got too freaked out. How wrong I was.
After a couple of minutes I hear BB barreling up the driveway and I hop out and scare him. And he almost knocks me out swinging his plastic bag wrapped fist before he charges inside. LB is bringing up the rear, mad as hell. He's crying and he throws the bag on the ground and stomps it before going inside.
After all the details are sorted out I find out that my idea of a snipe hunt and Sweety's are a wee bit different. The way I always did it was you took the person out in the dark and just left them there. The way Sweety did it was you took the people out there and made wild animal noises from the dark to scare the piss out of them. So I'm thinking he's hiding in the corn to save the boys if they get too freaked out but he was really fucking growling out there and crawled up the road towards the kiddos in the dark. BB said he heard slurping sounds and then saw what he thought was a giant white wolf (sweety in a t-shirt) coming to eat them.
They were more pissed off when they found out that there was no such thing as snipes than anything else.
They can't wait til Sylvie is a little older so they can take her snipe hunting.
On my way to Oklahoma I call my ex-mother-in-law to see if she has my ex-sister-in-law's phone number cause when I was in OK a few weeks ago she was moving there and I wanted to visit my nephews and niece. And I find out that she didn't stay in OK very long and was now living with her mom. And then I find out that my nephew didn't get his birthday present that I had mailed to her address in OK (my exhusband's post office box). I guess the nephew was thinking that I had just forgotten his ninth birthday. I told ESIL that her brother should have gotten a big ass box with a telescope in it and some other stuff. She said he never mentioned it. I almost went to the exhusband's house or gave him a call to get the damn box so I could mail it again. But decided it would be easier emotionally to just buy another telescope. It still pisses me off though. I don't fuck around when it comes to my nephew's birthday. He always gets a nice box of goodies from me.
Tiny dog has effing puked twice this morning. I gave her some yogurt drops for a treat and I think they made her ill. What's even grosser is the first time she puked she ate the shit before I could get out of my chair and throw it away. I don't know if she'll get to sleep in the bed with me today. Agh. Holy fuckamoly. She just did it again and ate it. She is definitely regurgitating the yogurt drops. Those are going in the trash right now. My poor little doggy.
On my way home this morning I saw an interesting sight. Some guy was passed out (dead?) in the highway and two police officers were poking him with their little ballbats. I'm thinking he must have been alive or else they'd have been taking his pulse or something instead of poking him. I'm gonna see if it was reported that there was a hit and run or anything in that area.
On July 6 we celebrated 4 years of domestic bliss. And we learned a valuable lesson: if you eat at a restaurant in the mall, even if it's a well know supposedly good place, it's gonna suck because all mall food sucks. We had an anniversary lunch at a place in the Mall of Millenia and it was total crap.
Before our lunch Sweety went with me to see the titty doctor again because I had more questions about getting a reduction/lift. Sweety was very impressed with the guy. The Doc flat out said that he was the best and the before/after shots were great. And he looks 10-15 years younger than he is. That is encouraging to me also. The Doc said that they would look like what they looked like when they used to be perky. That's when I told him these bitches have NEVER been perky. I have faith that he'll whip them into shape. I can't wait for my new streamlined boobies. I hope I don't miss having big ones. I plan on getting this done within the next 2 months. I want to get rid of the 30 pounds that I've found since marrying Sweety before any additional surgery.
The boys are at their Mom's til Tuesday night. Monday is when their stepdad's birthday would have been and they are going to the beach to have a memorial service to celebrate. I told Sweety that if I die anytime soon he has my permission to never mention me again unless the boys bring me up. I don't think they even knew when their stepdad's birthday was til after he died. I believe the EW has been calling Sweety and not sounding very emotionally stable. I hope she doesn't drive them all into the ocean Monday night. And if she does, I hope the boys have the good sense to unbuckle their seatbelts and get out when the car hits the water.
Tiny dog Oy must be feeling better. She's running around like a cracked out monkey. Good.
My friend at work gave me a book Strangers from a Different Shore: A History of Asian Americans. And it is quite interesting. I didn't know that at one point there was a law saying if a (white) American woman married and Asian man that she would no longer be an American citizen. Some books are an "easy read" or just popcorn for the brain. This one is a pretty hard read. I may have to read it at home so I can pay attention to it and read some bit of fluff while I'm at work.
I'm going to curl up with Oy for some z's. Let's hope she's really done barfing.
On they way back to my Mom's house from the neato cabin we stayed in I mentioned to Sweety that maybe the boys were old enough for their first snipe hunt. He agreed and we began to tell tall tales of what cute fuzzy creatures snipes are and how they can be carried on the plane if we get any. So of course the boys get very excited and are quizzing everyone in my family about snipes. At about 9:30 that night each of the boys got a plastic bag and I taught them the official snipe call (wooo-wooo snipe snipe snipe!). Then I walked them to the dirt road in front of my Mom's house and told them I needed to go guard the perimeter against foxes because everyone knows that foxes just loooove to eat some snipe. I went and hid just by the front door of the house and I saw Sweety crouched by the corn field. I thought he was there to calm the boys down if they got too freaked out. How wrong I was.
After a couple of minutes I hear BB barreling up the driveway and I hop out and scare him. And he almost knocks me out swinging his plastic bag wrapped fist before he charges inside. LB is bringing up the rear, mad as hell. He's crying and he throws the bag on the ground and stomps it before going inside.
After all the details are sorted out I find out that my idea of a snipe hunt and Sweety's are a wee bit different. The way I always did it was you took the person out in the dark and just left them there. The way Sweety did it was you took the people out there and made wild animal noises from the dark to scare the piss out of them. So I'm thinking he's hiding in the corn to save the boys if they get too freaked out but he was really fucking growling out there and crawled up the road towards the kiddos in the dark. BB said he heard slurping sounds and then saw what he thought was a giant white wolf (sweety in a t-shirt) coming to eat them.
They were more pissed off when they found out that there was no such thing as snipes than anything else.
They can't wait til Sylvie is a little older so they can take her snipe hunting.
On my way to Oklahoma I call my ex-mother-in-law to see if she has my ex-sister-in-law's phone number cause when I was in OK a few weeks ago she was moving there and I wanted to visit my nephews and niece. And I find out that she didn't stay in OK very long and was now living with her mom. And then I find out that my nephew didn't get his birthday present that I had mailed to her address in OK (my exhusband's post office box). I guess the nephew was thinking that I had just forgotten his ninth birthday. I told ESIL that her brother should have gotten a big ass box with a telescope in it and some other stuff. She said he never mentioned it. I almost went to the exhusband's house or gave him a call to get the damn box so I could mail it again. But decided it would be easier emotionally to just buy another telescope. It still pisses me off though. I don't fuck around when it comes to my nephew's birthday. He always gets a nice box of goodies from me.
Tiny dog has effing puked twice this morning. I gave her some yogurt drops for a treat and I think they made her ill. What's even grosser is the first time she puked she ate the shit before I could get out of my chair and throw it away. I don't know if she'll get to sleep in the bed with me today. Agh. Holy fuckamoly. She just did it again and ate it. She is definitely regurgitating the yogurt drops. Those are going in the trash right now. My poor little doggy.
On my way home this morning I saw an interesting sight. Some guy was passed out (dead?) in the highway and two police officers were poking him with their little ballbats. I'm thinking he must have been alive or else they'd have been taking his pulse or something instead of poking him. I'm gonna see if it was reported that there was a hit and run or anything in that area.
On July 6 we celebrated 4 years of domestic bliss. And we learned a valuable lesson: if you eat at a restaurant in the mall, even if it's a well know supposedly good place, it's gonna suck because all mall food sucks. We had an anniversary lunch at a place in the Mall of Millenia and it was total crap.
Before our lunch Sweety went with me to see the titty doctor again because I had more questions about getting a reduction/lift. Sweety was very impressed with the guy. The Doc flat out said that he was the best and the before/after shots were great. And he looks 10-15 years younger than he is. That is encouraging to me also. The Doc said that they would look like what they looked like when they used to be perky. That's when I told him these bitches have NEVER been perky. I have faith that he'll whip them into shape. I can't wait for my new streamlined boobies. I hope I don't miss having big ones. I plan on getting this done within the next 2 months. I want to get rid of the 30 pounds that I've found since marrying Sweety before any additional surgery.
The boys are at their Mom's til Tuesday night. Monday is when their stepdad's birthday would have been and they are going to the beach to have a memorial service to celebrate. I told Sweety that if I die anytime soon he has my permission to never mention me again unless the boys bring me up. I don't think they even knew when their stepdad's birthday was til after he died. I believe the EW has been calling Sweety and not sounding very emotionally stable. I hope she doesn't drive them all into the ocean Monday night. And if she does, I hope the boys have the good sense to unbuckle their seatbelts and get out when the car hits the water.
Tiny dog Oy must be feeling better. She's running around like a cracked out monkey. Good.
My friend at work gave me a book Strangers from a Different Shore: A History of Asian Americans. And it is quite interesting. I didn't know that at one point there was a law saying if a (white) American woman married and Asian man that she would no longer be an American citizen. Some books are an "easy read" or just popcorn for the brain. This one is a pretty hard read. I may have to read it at home so I can pay attention to it and read some bit of fluff while I'm at work.
I'm going to curl up with Oy for some z's. Let's hope she's really done barfing.
Tagged
Well SK got me. Lemme get my memory warmed up...
What was I doing 10 years ago: Getting ready to turn 19. Just barely 1 year into my train wreck of a first marriage.
5 years ago: Filing for divorce.
1 year ago: Sitting around in Florida with Sweety having our 3rd anniversary.
Yesterday: Sleeping off, sweating out a hellacious hangover that I earned celebrating our 4th anniversary.
5 Snacks I enjoy: Twinkies, Coke in a can, Entenmann's Raspberry Danish, chocolate pudding, raw avocados sprinkled with salt and pepper or on french bread sprinkled with vinegar.
5 songs I know all the words to: Anything by George Strait pre-2001, Butterfly (Crazy Town), Angel (Shaggy's version), Never Been to Spain (Three Dog Night), Fishing in the Dark (Nitty Gritty Dirt Band)
5 Things I would do with a $100 million: Pay off bills, pay for this house, buy children from EW and move the hell outta FL, Buy my Mom a house and a car, go on a trip to Korea.
5 Locations I would like to run away to: Oklahoma, Texas, an island alone with Sweety, New Orleans, a hotel room anywhere alone with the blinds shut and the thermostat on 67 degrees.
5 Bad habits I have: Nail biting, horrid eating habits, procrastinating, the skin picking thing (which is getting better, btw), spending money
5 Things I like doing: Reading, flitting about the internet, sleeping, sex, walking around the mall
5 Things I would never wear: Anything with ruffles or yellow. That's about it. I'll try anything twice.
5 TV shows I like: Desperate Housewives, Entourage, Bullshit, King of the Hill, almost any kind of "reality" show.
5 Biggest joys of the moment: Seeing how as the boys get older they are starting to "get" more things and watching BB's sense of humor cultivate, stinky dog, tiny dog, any alone time with Sweety, any alone time with myself.
5 Favorite toys: The computer (also known affectionately as Raoul), digital camera, Sweety's naked self, my purple thing, tiny dog's toy that looks like a fuzzy dildo (she loves it when i beat her with it)
5 next victims: Him, Middle-Aged Man, Queen of Pink, Kristine, and last but not least, Bekah.
What was I doing 10 years ago: Getting ready to turn 19. Just barely 1 year into my train wreck of a first marriage.
5 years ago: Filing for divorce.
1 year ago: Sitting around in Florida with Sweety having our 3rd anniversary.
Yesterday: Sleeping off, sweating out a hellacious hangover that I earned celebrating our 4th anniversary.
5 Snacks I enjoy: Twinkies, Coke in a can, Entenmann's Raspberry Danish, chocolate pudding, raw avocados sprinkled with salt and pepper or on french bread sprinkled with vinegar.
5 songs I know all the words to: Anything by George Strait pre-2001, Butterfly (Crazy Town), Angel (Shaggy's version), Never Been to Spain (Three Dog Night), Fishing in the Dark (Nitty Gritty Dirt Band)
5 Things I would do with a $100 million: Pay off bills, pay for this house, buy children from EW and move the hell outta FL, Buy my Mom a house and a car, go on a trip to Korea.
5 Locations I would like to run away to: Oklahoma, Texas, an island alone with Sweety, New Orleans, a hotel room anywhere alone with the blinds shut and the thermostat on 67 degrees.
5 Bad habits I have: Nail biting, horrid eating habits, procrastinating, the skin picking thing (which is getting better, btw), spending money
5 Things I like doing: Reading, flitting about the internet, sleeping, sex, walking around the mall
5 Things I would never wear: Anything with ruffles or yellow. That's about it. I'll try anything twice.
5 TV shows I like: Desperate Housewives, Entourage, Bullshit, King of the Hill, almost any kind of "reality" show.
5 Biggest joys of the moment: Seeing how as the boys get older they are starting to "get" more things and watching BB's sense of humor cultivate, stinky dog, tiny dog, any alone time with Sweety, any alone time with myself.
5 Favorite toys: The computer (also known affectionately as Raoul), digital camera, Sweety's naked self, my purple thing, tiny dog's toy that looks like a fuzzy dildo (she loves it when i beat her with it)
5 next victims: Him, Middle-Aged Man, Queen of Pink, Kristine, and last but not least, Bekah.
Stuff Portrait Friday
I decided to scamper around and photograph my crap so ya'll could see it. I usually just lurk and leer at everyone else's stuff on Friday's. Voila!
My Favorite Framed Picture
This was taken a couple of years ago. My friend from TX was down visiting and we were playing cards and drinking at the hotel.
Magazine Subscriptions
We get these and a few more.
My Household Pet Peeve
This is the toyroom. AKA The Wastelands. We so need to do something with this space.
View from the other corner.
My Favorite Framed Picture
This was taken a couple of years ago. My friend from TX was down visiting and we were playing cards and drinking at the hotel.
Magazine Subscriptions
We get these and a few more.
My Household Pet Peeve
This is the toyroom. AKA The Wastelands. We so need to do something with this space.
View from the other corner.
7/5/05
An Elaboration on the Previous Egg Post
The only other food I despise as much as (or maybe more so) than eggs is tomatoes. I don't like the way they smell or if you're eating one with the skin on the way it pops in your mouth.
A few years ago Sweety and I went to visit his Dad and Stepmom. She happens to be a great cook. For dinner we had salads that she had already divvied up into individual bowls and guess what they were chock full of? Cherry freaking tomatoes! And Sweety, being the kind hearted person that he is, made a big deal of putting his tomatoes on my plate cause he knew I would eat them. The way I was raised was if you were at someone's house and they put something in front of you, you damn well better eat it out of politeness. Do you know how hard it is to swallow a cherry tomato whole? I'm lucky that I didn't choke to death.
And then for breakfast guess what was warming in the oven on our own little plates? Soft scrambled or fried eggs on top of hash browns with cheese on them. I managed to gag down about 75% of it before Sweety took pity on me and ate the rest. I kid you not, I was literally gagging that stuff down. I tried to just pick out the potatoes and cheese but they were tainted with the egg residue.
After that we told her about my aversion to tomatoes and eggs. Later for dinner I think it was a nice generic pasta dish.
Another food that's hard for me is grapes. It's the whole popping sound in the mouth when you chew one that grosses me out. Makes me think that's what it would sound like to eat an eyeball. I can eat them if they are cut in half. Grapes, not eyeballs.
A few years ago Sweety and I went to visit his Dad and Stepmom. She happens to be a great cook. For dinner we had salads that she had already divvied up into individual bowls and guess what they were chock full of? Cherry freaking tomatoes! And Sweety, being the kind hearted person that he is, made a big deal of putting his tomatoes on my plate cause he knew I would eat them. The way I was raised was if you were at someone's house and they put something in front of you, you damn well better eat it out of politeness. Do you know how hard it is to swallow a cherry tomato whole? I'm lucky that I didn't choke to death.
And then for breakfast guess what was warming in the oven on our own little plates? Soft scrambled or fried eggs on top of hash browns with cheese on them. I managed to gag down about 75% of it before Sweety took pity on me and ate the rest. I kid you not, I was literally gagging that stuff down. I tried to just pick out the potatoes and cheese but they were tainted with the egg residue.
After that we told her about my aversion to tomatoes and eggs. Later for dinner I think it was a nice generic pasta dish.
Another food that's hard for me is grapes. It's the whole popping sound in the mouth when you chew one that grosses me out. Makes me think that's what it would sound like to eat an eyeball. I can eat them if they are cut in half. Grapes, not eyeballs.
I Hate Eggs
I mean, really loathe eggs. The smell of them cooking makes me gag. But, sometimes to be a good mother/wifey I will hold my breath and scramble them. Once in a blue moon I may even eat a boiled one but that's as familiar as I get with an egg.
I call them Chicken Menstruations. I used to call them Chicken Abortions til I realized that I was dealing with just the unfertilized egg. But you never know, there could be a clump of cells in an egg just fighting for the chance to grow up and be a chicken mcnugget instead of an egg over easy.
Anyhoo, I found this over at Sarcastic Journalist and felt compelled to share it here.
Be prepared to see cute little eggs being all adorable and cuddly, but I know the truth. They are really disgusting under their perky little shells.
Tomorrow I'm gonna try and post about taking the boys snipe hunting. It was some funny shit. They will probably only need a few years of therapy when they get older to deal with their childhood.
I am sleep deprived. Goodnight.
I call them Chicken Menstruations. I used to call them Chicken Abortions til I realized that I was dealing with just the unfertilized egg. But you never know, there could be a clump of cells in an egg just fighting for the chance to grow up and be a chicken mcnugget instead of an egg over easy.
Anyhoo, I found this over at Sarcastic Journalist and felt compelled to share it here.
Be prepared to see cute little eggs being all adorable and cuddly, but I know the truth. They are really disgusting under their perky little shells.
Tomorrow I'm gonna try and post about taking the boys snipe hunting. It was some funny shit. They will probably only need a few years of therapy when they get older to deal with their childhood.
I am sleep deprived. Goodnight.
7/4/05
Childfree for a Week!
Holy crap, batman! Whatever will I do? I just found out from Sweety that the sprogs will be at their mom's house til next Monday. I will probably read books and stare at the computer screen til my eyes bleed. Woooo-hooo!
Ah. It appears Sweety is still awake. I must go spoon him so he doesn't feel neglected.
Ah. It appears Sweety is still awake. I must go spoon him so he doesn't feel neglected.
Tag! I'm it!
MCB over at Married in Ohio got me. I've also been tagged over at my "other" site. So I've cheated and just put the same answers over here. Sorry. I am a lazy ass today!
And due to the fact that I'm getting this a little late and that all the people I read have already been tagged, I won't be tagging anyone else. But I'll play!
What 5 Things do you miss about your childhood?
1) Being a kid. Doing all the stuff now that I look back on and smile at. Making mud pies, pretending with my best friend that we were running away from home while my Mom helped us pack a picnic lunch to take alone. Hiding in the grass in the pasture by my house and pretending to be a seahorse.
2) Living at home with my Mom. She's great. I swear, if I were single that I'd still be there.
3) Some of the wild shit you do as a teenager. The drinking, sneaking around and sex that I didn't give a second thought to. In retrospect, all that stuff was really stupid but at the time it felt good.
4) Not having my heart broken. Cause once that happens you pretty much know that more of it is in store at some time or another.
5) Staying at my Grandma's house when my sister and I were little. She had a huge house and we'd spend hours playing hide and seek. I still have dreams about it sometime.
6) And I'll toss in a bonus answer here. Sucking my thumb. I've gotta say that is probably the greatest stress reliever. But it's very hard to do while wearing fake nails. Sometimes, when the nails are off (which is rarely) I give it a go to see if I still enjoy it at much. I do.
And due to the fact that I'm getting this a little late and that all the people I read have already been tagged, I won't be tagging anyone else. But I'll play!
What 5 Things do you miss about your childhood?
1) Being a kid. Doing all the stuff now that I look back on and smile at. Making mud pies, pretending with my best friend that we were running away from home while my Mom helped us pack a picnic lunch to take alone. Hiding in the grass in the pasture by my house and pretending to be a seahorse.
2) Living at home with my Mom. She's great. I swear, if I were single that I'd still be there.
3) Some of the wild shit you do as a teenager. The drinking, sneaking around and sex that I didn't give a second thought to. In retrospect, all that stuff was really stupid but at the time it felt good.
4) Not having my heart broken. Cause once that happens you pretty much know that more of it is in store at some time or another.
5) Staying at my Grandma's house when my sister and I were little. She had a huge house and we'd spend hours playing hide and seek. I still have dreams about it sometime.
6) And I'll toss in a bonus answer here. Sucking my thumb. I've gotta say that is probably the greatest stress reliever. But it's very hard to do while wearing fake nails. Sometimes, when the nails are off (which is rarely) I give it a go to see if I still enjoy it at much. I do.
Thanks to the Airplane Gods, I Am Back.
A little quiz for you. Which one of these things did not happen on my trip?
A) We took the kids snipe hunting and totally traumatized them.
B) I got no sex on the trip.
C) I lost an acrylic nail lighting stupid ass fireworks.
D) I polished my Grandma and Grandpa's tombstone using the shirt off my back.
E) We got complimented on the plane on what polite children we have. Then the stewardess spilled an entire drink on one of the polite little ones.
F) I wet the bed.
G) BB spoke to his mother on our almost last day on vacation and she dropped a bombshell on him that was only a half truth and Sweety got to clean up the aftermath.
H) No children kicked my seat back during any of the flights.
I) The dogs repeatedly ran into walls when we got home cause they were so happy to see us.
J) I made one of the boys apologize to my suitcase after he ran into it.
If you guessed C, you are a winner. Ain't no way I am ever lighting up something that will explode. Fuck that. I hide in the house or close to a vehicle that I can dive under for cover if something goes awry.
We also went to the OKC Memorial. If you ever get a chance to go, I highly recommend it. It was a very moving memorial. They had audio tapes and stuff that were going on when the bomb went off. Very eerie. Made me cry.
And we spent a kick ass night in a cabin in the state park closest to us. We've decided to make it a tradition and have my whole family come with us. My mom was the only one that was able to come but it was lots of fun. Luckily, we didn't lose any children off the edge of the mountain.
The boys are at their dumbass mother's house for the next couple of days. Her stupidity knows no bounds. The lie she told BB was that his dog was at his uncle's for a "test run" to see if he could keep her and BB could visit her every 3 weeks. Actually, the dog has been given to some kind of rotteweiler rescue mission and he's never gonna see it again. She didn't want to tell him all at once though. I told Sweety what's gonna happen is he's having a little meltdown now cause he thinks the dog's at his uncle's and when he wants to go visit it in a few weeks she'll tell him the rest of the truth and she'll tell BB that Sweety knew about it and then Sweety will be getting another phone call to calm BB down again. I say just give him the whole freaking truth and let him be done with it. So later when BB was talking about how he just hated being lied to Sweety told him that he didn't think his dog was at his uncle's and to just understand that things didn't always work out the way you wanted them to. Thanks bitch, for calling while we are on fucking vacation so the kid spends all day crying and brooding. I wish she would spontaneously combust. I think I would eat the ashes just to make sure she was really gone.
Oh, and another thing to grouch about. My pink carry on bags that I was so pleased with? One of them took a shit on me on the way home and ripped. I'm taking that bitch back to Target tomorrow. Ha! Take that you insolent bag!
I will probably elaborate on the other things here at a later date. I need some sleep. We had some rather crummy sleeping arrangements while we were gone. I'm gonna go curl up with tiny dog. I hope she doesn't pee in my bed.
A) We took the kids snipe hunting and totally traumatized them.
B) I got no sex on the trip.
C) I lost an acrylic nail lighting stupid ass fireworks.
D) I polished my Grandma and Grandpa's tombstone using the shirt off my back.
E) We got complimented on the plane on what polite children we have. Then the stewardess spilled an entire drink on one of the polite little ones.
F) I wet the bed.
G) BB spoke to his mother on our almost last day on vacation and she dropped a bombshell on him that was only a half truth and Sweety got to clean up the aftermath.
H) No children kicked my seat back during any of the flights.
I) The dogs repeatedly ran into walls when we got home cause they were so happy to see us.
J) I made one of the boys apologize to my suitcase after he ran into it.
If you guessed C, you are a winner. Ain't no way I am ever lighting up something that will explode. Fuck that. I hide in the house or close to a vehicle that I can dive under for cover if something goes awry.
We also went to the OKC Memorial. If you ever get a chance to go, I highly recommend it. It was a very moving memorial. They had audio tapes and stuff that were going on when the bomb went off. Very eerie. Made me cry.
And we spent a kick ass night in a cabin in the state park closest to us. We've decided to make it a tradition and have my whole family come with us. My mom was the only one that was able to come but it was lots of fun. Luckily, we didn't lose any children off the edge of the mountain.
The boys are at their dumbass mother's house for the next couple of days. Her stupidity knows no bounds. The lie she told BB was that his dog was at his uncle's for a "test run" to see if he could keep her and BB could visit her every 3 weeks. Actually, the dog has been given to some kind of rotteweiler rescue mission and he's never gonna see it again. She didn't want to tell him all at once though. I told Sweety what's gonna happen is he's having a little meltdown now cause he thinks the dog's at his uncle's and when he wants to go visit it in a few weeks she'll tell him the rest of the truth and she'll tell BB that Sweety knew about it and then Sweety will be getting another phone call to calm BB down again. I say just give him the whole freaking truth and let him be done with it. So later when BB was talking about how he just hated being lied to Sweety told him that he didn't think his dog was at his uncle's and to just understand that things didn't always work out the way you wanted them to. Thanks bitch, for calling while we are on fucking vacation so the kid spends all day crying and brooding. I wish she would spontaneously combust. I think I would eat the ashes just to make sure she was really gone.
Oh, and another thing to grouch about. My pink carry on bags that I was so pleased with? One of them took a shit on me on the way home and ripped. I'm taking that bitch back to Target tomorrow. Ha! Take that you insolent bag!
I will probably elaborate on the other things here at a later date. I need some sleep. We had some rather crummy sleeping arrangements while we were gone. I'm gonna go curl up with tiny dog. I hope she doesn't pee in my bed.
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