7/5/05

I Hate Eggs

I mean, really loathe eggs. The smell of them cooking makes me gag. But, sometimes to be a good mother/wifey I will hold my breath and scramble them. Once in a blue moon I may even eat a boiled one but that's as familiar as I get with an egg.

I call them Chicken Menstruations. I used to call them Chicken Abortions til I realized that I was dealing with just the unfertilized egg. But you never know, there could be a clump of cells in an egg just fighting for the chance to grow up and be a chicken mcnugget instead of an egg over easy.

Anyhoo, I found this over at Sarcastic Journalist and felt compelled to share it here.

Be prepared to see cute little eggs being all adorable and cuddly, but I know the truth. They are really disgusting under their perky little shells.

Tomorrow I'm gonna try and post about taking the boys snipe hunting. It was some funny shit. They will probably only need a few years of therapy when they get older to deal with their childhood.

I am sleep deprived. Goodnight.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don’t like boiled eggs (hot or cold) or scrambled eggs but I have been known to eat a fried one every now and then. Mostly though, there like Kryptonite to me. If they are chopped up on a salad I won’t eat it. I don’t just pick them off; it contaminates the whole thing.

Wildefrost said...

I HATE eggs. I wish I liked them because everytime I tell someone that I don't like eggs, they say "oh but, they are so good for you!" or "What do you mean you dont like eggs?" Please people, get over it. They smell like rotten sneakers and feel like soggy sponges!

Anonymous said...

I've managed to eat a few since my bloody chicken fetus trauma, but it's been hard.

Chickie said...

MCB - I think I would starve before eating a fried egg. The only memory I have of fried eggs is watching my Grandpa sop up all the egg juice with his toast when I was a kid. I used to try and put the milk jug in front of my eyes to block the nastiness.

Lauren - My main problems with them are the smell and the way they feel in your mouth. Soggy sponges is a good way to put it.

Anne Arkham - I do not know how you could bring yourself to EVER crack another egg after that episode. I used to shake eggs to check and hear if there was anything sloshing around in there that shouldn't be.