Sweety needs to get a new hobby late at night. I know it used to be internet porn but now it is the Home Shopping Network.
There is yet another box outside the door for him. He says it is more coins. He just recently became interested in coins. This isn't like it's a lifelong obsession. I told him he could have taken his coin money and bought a fish tank. He's been talking about getting some kind of huge fish tank for the front room for the last 3 years.
Oh well. I guess it's better than being addicted to crack.
1/31/05
The Carnivorous Moon
Reason #256 why I don't need any of my own children:
This morning on the way to school when Sylvie(5) asked "Why is the moon following us?" I said "It's watching you. If you're bad it's gonna swoop down and eat you." I quickly followed up with a "Just kidding." I hope I haven't traumatized her. This was after a morning where I had to ask her to do everything twice before any results were seen.
Sweety is such a sucker. I came in the other morning and saw a box from HSN ready to go in the trash. "Hmm. What is this?" The invoice said something about being some kind of half dollars. I asked him about it yesterday and he got all embarrassed and said he didn't want to tell me what it was cause he was afraid I'd laugh. Told him too late, I already was so tell me what was bought. Apparently he spent over $400 on some kind of uncirculated money. It was 20 half dollars minted I don't know when. He said it was a moment of weakness at 2 in the morning when he was tired and couldn't find anything else to watch. I asked him if we need to block HSN and QVC on the tv.
It's my Friday! Yay! I guess I'll go put my earplugs in so I can get some sleep without listening to the dog munch on its toes.
This morning on the way to school when Sylvie(5) asked "Why is the moon following us?" I said "It's watching you. If you're bad it's gonna swoop down and eat you." I quickly followed up with a "Just kidding." I hope I haven't traumatized her. This was after a morning where I had to ask her to do everything twice before any results were seen.
Sweety is such a sucker. I came in the other morning and saw a box from HSN ready to go in the trash. "Hmm. What is this?" The invoice said something about being some kind of half dollars. I asked him about it yesterday and he got all embarrassed and said he didn't want to tell me what it was cause he was afraid I'd laugh. Told him too late, I already was so tell me what was bought. Apparently he spent over $400 on some kind of uncirculated money. It was 20 half dollars minted I don't know when. He said it was a moment of weakness at 2 in the morning when he was tired and couldn't find anything else to watch. I asked him if we need to block HSN and QVC on the tv.
It's my Friday! Yay! I guess I'll go put my earplugs in so I can get some sleep without listening to the dog munch on its toes.
1/27/05
Getting Old
I'm so not gonna handle aging gracefully. If I ever said I was - it was a lie.
I know that Sweety tries very hard to make sure I'm happy. And he does a good job. But last night after a gallon of wine (give or take a couple of glasses) we got to talking about our lives and how they shape up compared to where we thought we would be at our ages. After he said something about how at fixing to be 36 he's so happy with where he is in his life I started to cry and said I thought I'd have more to show for myself when I was 28. Mainly kids of my own. Oh shit. Where did this thought come from? When I saw the look of shock on his face I explained that I loved his kids and didn't want to bear any but when I was younger I just always thought that I would. And being almost effing 30 has made me kind of look around and go "Gee, what have I done that I said I was going to do when I was a grown-up?"
After review of the little life plan I made when I was 18, a whole decade ago, I can check some things off:
A nice house
Happily married (even though not to same person I was marrying at the time)
2 or 3 kids (even though I didn't birth them they're still here all the time, so they count, right?)
A good paying job that I like (check on the first part not at all on the second)
I adore my husband and I know he would LOVE having kids. But I don't know if the little child-bearing twitches I'm getting are genuine or just because I'm getting older and I think I should do it before it's too late. I've probably been reading too many infertility blogs. Usually if I'm thinking of making an off the wall decision/purchase I'll make myself wait 3 days and then see if I still want it. I think for this I'll give it 3 years. I shall revisit this topic with myself in 2008. There. I've made a decision to procrastinate.
On to another topic Chickie dear!
Wow, has the sex life cranked back up!! Loving it!! And he thought that the meds to help make me less stressed would tamp my libido down even further than it was. I asked him yesterday if he was now okay with me taking something and the answer was a resounding yes. I'd forgotten how much I like it. But if I'm stressed and haven't had enough sleep sex is the last thing I want to do when I get in the bed. He's been getting a lot of oral satisfaction the past few months. That little urge of mine hasn't been repressed :)
I gave the stinky dog a bath last night. And she was so freaked out about being the tub that she just stood there and farted in the water. The dog is even grosser than I had imagined. I've thought of shaving her but she's so oily that I'm afraid it would look like a big thumbprint wherever she touched.
Just got off the phone with Sweety. And we've agreed that I don't have baby lust. I'm just ready to get a new dog. I can't wait til I have my less than 4 lb Oy. See, I already have a name picked out for my dog that I haven't even chosen yet. When Sweety talks about it he calls it Oy too. He asked if we could get a cup holder to put on the car window so she could ride in it with her head in the breeze. I surely do not need children. I've spent the last 30 minutes on the phone discussing a dog that hasn't even been through the gestation phase yet.
I'm disgusted with myself. Good night.
I know that Sweety tries very hard to make sure I'm happy. And he does a good job. But last night after a gallon of wine (give or take a couple of glasses) we got to talking about our lives and how they shape up compared to where we thought we would be at our ages. After he said something about how at fixing to be 36 he's so happy with where he is in his life I started to cry and said I thought I'd have more to show for myself when I was 28. Mainly kids of my own. Oh shit. Where did this thought come from? When I saw the look of shock on his face I explained that I loved his kids and didn't want to bear any but when I was younger I just always thought that I would. And being almost effing 30 has made me kind of look around and go "Gee, what have I done that I said I was going to do when I was a grown-up?"
After review of the little life plan I made when I was 18, a whole decade ago, I can check some things off:
A nice house
Happily married (even though not to same person I was marrying at the time)
2 or 3 kids (even though I didn't birth them they're still here all the time, so they count, right?)
A good paying job that I like (check on the first part not at all on the second)
I adore my husband and I know he would LOVE having kids. But I don't know if the little child-bearing twitches I'm getting are genuine or just because I'm getting older and I think I should do it before it's too late. I've probably been reading too many infertility blogs. Usually if I'm thinking of making an off the wall decision/purchase I'll make myself wait 3 days and then see if I still want it. I think for this I'll give it 3 years. I shall revisit this topic with myself in 2008. There. I've made a decision to procrastinate.
On to another topic Chickie dear!
Wow, has the sex life cranked back up!! Loving it!! And he thought that the meds to help make me less stressed would tamp my libido down even further than it was. I asked him yesterday if he was now okay with me taking something and the answer was a resounding yes. I'd forgotten how much I like it. But if I'm stressed and haven't had enough sleep sex is the last thing I want to do when I get in the bed. He's been getting a lot of oral satisfaction the past few months. That little urge of mine hasn't been repressed :)
I gave the stinky dog a bath last night. And she was so freaked out about being the tub that she just stood there and farted in the water. The dog is even grosser than I had imagined. I've thought of shaving her but she's so oily that I'm afraid it would look like a big thumbprint wherever she touched.
Just got off the phone with Sweety. And we've agreed that I don't have baby lust. I'm just ready to get a new dog. I can't wait til I have my less than 4 lb Oy. See, I already have a name picked out for my dog that I haven't even chosen yet. When Sweety talks about it he calls it Oy too. He asked if we could get a cup holder to put on the car window so she could ride in it with her head in the breeze. I surely do not need children. I've spent the last 30 minutes on the phone discussing a dog that hasn't even been through the gestation phase yet.
I'm disgusted with myself. Good night.
1/26/05
Free Money
Woo hoo! Came home after exercising and what was in the mailbox? A $100 Visa card from Rent.com. I'd written off ever getting it. When my sister moved into her last apartment I rented it for her in my name cause her credit's shot. One of the perks to renting from a property you found on the website was $100. But I thought that since she (I) had moved out in October I wouldn't get it anyway. Turns out they send it to you as long as you signed the lease and lived there for at least 30 days. Cool beans. I'm gonna go take Sylvie clothes shopping after school. She keeps telling me her underwear are giving her wedgies. I guess that's a sign they are too small.
Maybe I will go buy a lottery ticket tonight. See if the streak continues.
Maybe I will go buy a lottery ticket tonight. See if the streak continues.
Waiting
Not a lot going on here. Need to go exercise but I'm gonna wait til I'm pretty sure the perky girl that comes in to workout early is gone. I don't like being in there when someone is bouncing off the walls. It's not encouraging. I truly realized what a weakling I am this weekend when I saw the girl that I was working out behind had the weights set to double what I use. I didn't realize it at first and almost flipped myself off of the one of the machines because the setting was so heavy.
Don't think I'll be taking stinky dog to the park today. She'll just have to get her exercise when I follow Sylvie around the block on her bike today after school.
EW called Sweety yesterday to thank him for our contribution in the sympathy card. As atonement for the horribly evil things I have wished on her I suggested giving her money. Sweety was not agreeable to my first suggestion of 2000. I think his response was something along the lines of "What kind of pills does your doctor have you on?" So we gave her 500. He said he felt like if we gave her more it would be like saying to her that we have money just laying around. I told him that in the situation she's in she probably wouldn't think about it that way, would just be glad that she had it.
Hopefully I will not run into her at the school when I'm getting Sylvie today and she's getting the boys. I think we've both been trying to time it so that doesn't happen for the last few months. I hope to see her again at BB's graduation in 8 years.
I think maybe I'll take a tiny nap before exercising. Then I'll be nice and perky for my walk with the dog later. My work schedule so has my internal clock messed up.
Don't think I'll be taking stinky dog to the park today. She'll just have to get her exercise when I follow Sylvie around the block on her bike today after school.
EW called Sweety yesterday to thank him for our contribution in the sympathy card. As atonement for the horribly evil things I have wished on her I suggested giving her money. Sweety was not agreeable to my first suggestion of 2000. I think his response was something along the lines of "What kind of pills does your doctor have you on?" So we gave her 500. He said he felt like if we gave her more it would be like saying to her that we have money just laying around. I told him that in the situation she's in she probably wouldn't think about it that way, would just be glad that she had it.
Hopefully I will not run into her at the school when I'm getting Sylvie today and she's getting the boys. I think we've both been trying to time it so that doesn't happen for the last few months. I hope to see her again at BB's graduation in 8 years.
I think maybe I'll take a tiny nap before exercising. Then I'll be nice and perky for my walk with the dog later. My work schedule so has my internal clock messed up.
How Much I Like My Sweety
A Lot. He's in the shower and I can't wait for him to get out. I'm just feeling mushy tonight. He's nice. He's thoughtful. (which is why I have a china cabinet full of crystal dragons and other knick knacky things that he knew I'd love). He loves my niece. I really do like it that he has primary custody of his kids because that clued me in as to how responsible he was. And after my last relationship, responsible is definitely a plus.
Okay. So sometimes he is flatulent in my presence, encourages the kids to do the "booty dance" and also helps them along in discussing what their boogers are like. He's still great.
I'm gonna go put my hair in pigtails and wait for him to get to bed.
Okay. So sometimes he is flatulent in my presence, encourages the kids to do the "booty dance" and also helps them along in discussing what their boogers are like. He's still great.
I'm gonna go put my hair in pigtails and wait for him to get to bed.
1/25/05
Exercise=GOOD!, shitweasels & etc.
I am so pleasantly surprised with how well I'm doing with the working out thing. I'm going Tue, Wed, Thurs & Sat. It's a bitch to get out of bed and go but I know that when I'm done my energy level will be through the roof. It makes me want to come home and clean the house. If I get everything nice and tidy on Tuesday then I can spend Wednesday surfing the net, looking at useless stuff :)
It has been so cold that last few nights that we've been covering this one plant thing in the yard with a sheet and then uncovering it during the day. Today though I left it on cause the neighbors 3-legged cat was using it as a nap spot. I think he's been through enough. If I can help him nap in peace, so be it. I will remove the sheet before my Sweety gets home though so he won't know I let the plant go without light so a cat could be comfy.
The guy I sit next to at work, Dorkwad (DW henceforth), is very unhappy in his marriage. And has confided to me that a lady we work with that he takes a smoke break with gave him her phone number. He's thinking of having an affair. I told him he needed to get a divorce first. Apparently him and his wife haven't shared a bed in forever, they work opposite schedules and she doesn't want to get marriage counseling. I told him if he cheated he would be an official "shitweasel". English isn't his first language and the next day he asked me if that was a real animal. I told him it was just like a regular weasel but it was covered in it's own excrement, left shitty little wet footprints everywhere it went and it stole food. Preferably eggs and didn't wash them before it ate them. I didn't tell him, but if he cheats on his wife I'll move to another cube.
The boys seem to be doing okay since their stepdad's memorial service. Maybe he had a life insurance policy and their mother won't starve. Apparently she's incubating a girl. It was listed in the obit as a survivor. I fear once it gets here the boys will get no attention at all when they're with her. Maybe it will just all be overwhelming and she'll move away to be closer to her family and we can ship the boys to see her in the summer. I can always dream.
Got Napoleon Dynamite to watch tonight. I took the kiddos to see it in the theater but Sweety hasn't seen it yet. I love it. It totally reminded me of my junior high/high school years. Sometimes it's fun to look in the yearbook and see how big my bangs were. Or to review some of the homemade haircuts my sister and I had.
Speaking of sister... The repo man came by yesterday for her Mustang. I wasn't here. Sweety didn't know who the guy was at first and told him she was in Oklahoma. I told her it's only a matter of time before she wakes up and the car is gone. She says she's going to get it caught up next week. I ask you, is it any way to live, spending every year saying "When my taxes get in I'll get caught up."? And then never freaking doing it. Last year after tax time she gave me $600 to make up for the countless bail outs I'd given her but then she needed it again in a couple of months.
I have a meeting w/Sylvie's teacher on Thursday. We're going to try and figure out how to get her to get blending of sounds to make words. Good luck to us all.
It has been so cold that last few nights that we've been covering this one plant thing in the yard with a sheet and then uncovering it during the day. Today though I left it on cause the neighbors 3-legged cat was using it as a nap spot. I think he's been through enough. If I can help him nap in peace, so be it. I will remove the sheet before my Sweety gets home though so he won't know I let the plant go without light so a cat could be comfy.
The guy I sit next to at work, Dorkwad (DW henceforth), is very unhappy in his marriage. And has confided to me that a lady we work with that he takes a smoke break with gave him her phone number. He's thinking of having an affair. I told him he needed to get a divorce first. Apparently him and his wife haven't shared a bed in forever, they work opposite schedules and she doesn't want to get marriage counseling. I told him if he cheated he would be an official "shitweasel". English isn't his first language and the next day he asked me if that was a real animal. I told him it was just like a regular weasel but it was covered in it's own excrement, left shitty little wet footprints everywhere it went and it stole food. Preferably eggs and didn't wash them before it ate them. I didn't tell him, but if he cheats on his wife I'll move to another cube.
The boys seem to be doing okay since their stepdad's memorial service. Maybe he had a life insurance policy and their mother won't starve. Apparently she's incubating a girl. It was listed in the obit as a survivor. I fear once it gets here the boys will get no attention at all when they're with her. Maybe it will just all be overwhelming and she'll move away to be closer to her family and we can ship the boys to see her in the summer. I can always dream.
Got Napoleon Dynamite to watch tonight. I took the kiddos to see it in the theater but Sweety hasn't seen it yet. I love it. It totally reminded me of my junior high/high school years. Sometimes it's fun to look in the yearbook and see how big my bangs were. Or to review some of the homemade haircuts my sister and I had.
Speaking of sister... The repo man came by yesterday for her Mustang. I wasn't here. Sweety didn't know who the guy was at first and told him she was in Oklahoma. I told her it's only a matter of time before she wakes up and the car is gone. She says she's going to get it caught up next week. I ask you, is it any way to live, spending every year saying "When my taxes get in I'll get caught up."? And then never freaking doing it. Last year after tax time she gave me $600 to make up for the countless bail outs I'd given her but then she needed it again in a couple of months.
I have a meeting w/Sylvie's teacher on Thursday. We're going to try and figure out how to get her to get blending of sounds to make words. Good luck to us all.
1/21/05
Magical Thinking at Work
Tuesday night before bed Sweety and I were talking about the situation over there and some of the things the boys have said. They (whoever "they" are) were giving their stepdad 3 to 5 years to live with chemo. I made the comment "If he's gonna die I just wish it would happen quickly and be done so everyone can move on instead of waiting for it and dragging it out and getting these nutball phone calls from her."
Find out on Wednesday morning that the stepdad fell the night before and hit his head so hard on the tub that it cracked the tub. He was brain dead and the plug was pulled yesterday.
I feel so bad for the trauma that I know the boys are gonna go thru when they find out and how their life will change at their Mom's.
I figure it's only a matter of time before she starts complaining about not having any money and that my husband is lucky that he doesn't pay child support. These things were brought up right after we married and I have a feeling that they'll be coming back.
For the record, Sweety has physical custody of the boys and she's supposed to pay him child support. In the divorce she said she'd wanted a lump sum of money and a car and he could have the boys. She was supposed to take the money and put a down payment on a house but of course that did not happen. She told hime once that he just didn't understand how hard it was for her because they (her and husband 2) only have one income and so many kids. Helloooooo! I don't work because I like it, I do it so things can be bought. If one is going to make the decision to crank out 4 kids whilst having no education, no job and no permanent place to live that is one's own problem, not mine. The reason we haven't had kids is because it's nice to be able to go out every now and then and sleep in when they aren't here. She's also asked what my problem is and what kind of woman am I that I'd rather raise her kids than have some of my own. After she found out we were getting married she made the comment that she was going to start being more of a mother figure to the boys now because I wasn't going to do that. Sweety said before I got here she hardly ever saw them. Or it would be her day to have them and then after a couple of hours she'd drop him off while he was working and say that she just couldn't parent that day.
Sweety asked me if I felt sorry for her because of the whole situation. Yeah sure. My heart is really bleeding for the bint who's made comments about my non-breeding habits, about my niece living with me, asked "what are they anyway?" after meeting my sister and niece because we didn't look "white" (1/2 korean here for the record), left a message letting me know that my salary was going to be used when she decided to take the boys and get child support when she "redid" the divorce, and my favorite was when she had LB who was 4 at the time leave a message crying on his Dad's cell phone "Daddy? Are you dead? Did your plane crash?" This is when he flew over to help me move to Florida. I think a parent's job is to comfort your child not egg on traumatization.
Eek. Enough on that.
Find out on Wednesday morning that the stepdad fell the night before and hit his head so hard on the tub that it cracked the tub. He was brain dead and the plug was pulled yesterday.
I feel so bad for the trauma that I know the boys are gonna go thru when they find out and how their life will change at their Mom's.
I figure it's only a matter of time before she starts complaining about not having any money and that my husband is lucky that he doesn't pay child support. These things were brought up right after we married and I have a feeling that they'll be coming back.
For the record, Sweety has physical custody of the boys and she's supposed to pay him child support. In the divorce she said she'd wanted a lump sum of money and a car and he could have the boys. She was supposed to take the money and put a down payment on a house but of course that did not happen. She told hime once that he just didn't understand how hard it was for her because they (her and husband 2) only have one income and so many kids. Helloooooo! I don't work because I like it, I do it so things can be bought. If one is going to make the decision to crank out 4 kids whilst having no education, no job and no permanent place to live that is one's own problem, not mine. The reason we haven't had kids is because it's nice to be able to go out every now and then and sleep in when they aren't here. She's also asked what my problem is and what kind of woman am I that I'd rather raise her kids than have some of my own. After she found out we were getting married she made the comment that she was going to start being more of a mother figure to the boys now because I wasn't going to do that. Sweety said before I got here she hardly ever saw them. Or it would be her day to have them and then after a couple of hours she'd drop him off while he was working and say that she just couldn't parent that day.
Sweety asked me if I felt sorry for her because of the whole situation. Yeah sure. My heart is really bleeding for the bint who's made comments about my non-breeding habits, about my niece living with me, asked "what are they anyway?" after meeting my sister and niece because we didn't look "white" (1/2 korean here for the record), left a message letting me know that my salary was going to be used when she decided to take the boys and get child support when she "redid" the divorce, and my favorite was when she had LB who was 4 at the time leave a message crying on his Dad's cell phone "Daddy? Are you dead? Did your plane crash?" This is when he flew over to help me move to Florida. I think a parent's job is to comfort your child not egg on traumatization.
Eek. Enough on that.
1/18/05
Official Numbers & Stuff
Hips - 39
Waist (right below bellybutton) - 34
Waist (smallest part above bellybutton) - 31
Bust - 38
Thighs - 22
Upper Arm (wobbly thing I wanna get rid of - 12
Weight - 150
Okay. Now I will measure and weigh again in one month to see if this workout thing is giving me any noticeable results. Mental note to self: remember you are still swollen from surgery
I have also resolved to drink at least 64 oz of water a day. Maybe that will help cut down on my constant urge to graze!
I think the Xanax is really helping me not be so stressed at work. And since I'm not stressed when I get home from work I've noticed a decrease in the picking thing. Geez, I used to be normal. The Dr. said it would be a couple of weeks before the Paxil kicked in but I can already tell my stress level is down. Yay!
As long as I'm not crying at work maybe I'll keep this rotten job til I get canned/laid off/outsourced. Or maybe I'll get my bills paid off and stay at home and keep everything dusted and feed my family nice meals. Who freaking knows?
My sister, Nancy, asked yesterday if Sylvie could come and stay with her in OK when she gets out for Spring Break. I told her no. When we agreed to let Sylvie stay here and go to school it was on the condition she would finish the year here. The kiddo has already had to change schools once during her kidnergarten year. I asked Nancy to let me keep her til the end of the school year like we'd talked about and hopefully we'll be able to get her caught up with reading/phonics.
Nancy thinks it's completely okay to let some guy you've only known 2 weeks move in with her and her daughter and then let the guy discipline (spank) her kid. When I found out that was going on I went thru the roof. I mean if she can't control her child why does she think having some man her kid just met give her a spanking will help? Even though that situation is over it still pisses me off.
Sylvie is seems to be getting back in the swing of things here. No more yelling at me or Sweety or back talking or just the general temper tantrums she was having.
One of my sister's friends wants to buy her a motorcycle for her birthday. A Ninja. For a person who's never ridden one. I told her maybe she could ask him to pay off her car instead so she'll quit getting all of these repo notices in the mail. She still doesn't have a job that's worth a squirt of piss. She's working for cash in a bar getting about 20 hours a week. Sylvie's covered on my insurance while she lives here but I don't know what she'll do later. Sylvie's dad is supposed to have her on his insurance but my sister is too lazy to let the child support office or whoever know that he's not doing that.
Agh. I'm gonna quit thinking about it before I get annoyed. Better go fold my molehill of laundry before it turns into a mountain.
Waist (right below bellybutton) - 34
Waist (smallest part above bellybutton) - 31
Bust - 38
Thighs - 22
Upper Arm (wobbly thing I wanna get rid of - 12
Weight - 150
Okay. Now I will measure and weigh again in one month to see if this workout thing is giving me any noticeable results. Mental note to self: remember you are still swollen from surgery
I have also resolved to drink at least 64 oz of water a day. Maybe that will help cut down on my constant urge to graze!
I think the Xanax is really helping me not be so stressed at work. And since I'm not stressed when I get home from work I've noticed a decrease in the picking thing. Geez, I used to be normal. The Dr. said it would be a couple of weeks before the Paxil kicked in but I can already tell my stress level is down. Yay!
As long as I'm not crying at work maybe I'll keep this rotten job til I get canned/laid off/outsourced. Or maybe I'll get my bills paid off and stay at home and keep everything dusted and feed my family nice meals. Who freaking knows?
My sister, Nancy, asked yesterday if Sylvie could come and stay with her in OK when she gets out for Spring Break. I told her no. When we agreed to let Sylvie stay here and go to school it was on the condition she would finish the year here. The kiddo has already had to change schools once during her kidnergarten year. I asked Nancy to let me keep her til the end of the school year like we'd talked about and hopefully we'll be able to get her caught up with reading/phonics.
Nancy thinks it's completely okay to let some guy you've only known 2 weeks move in with her and her daughter and then let the guy discipline (spank) her kid. When I found out that was going on I went thru the roof. I mean if she can't control her child why does she think having some man her kid just met give her a spanking will help? Even though that situation is over it still pisses me off.
Sylvie is seems to be getting back in the swing of things here. No more yelling at me or Sweety or back talking or just the general temper tantrums she was having.
One of my sister's friends wants to buy her a motorcycle for her birthday. A Ninja. For a person who's never ridden one. I told her maybe she could ask him to pay off her car instead so she'll quit getting all of these repo notices in the mail. She still doesn't have a job that's worth a squirt of piss. She's working for cash in a bar getting about 20 hours a week. Sylvie's covered on my insurance while she lives here but I don't know what she'll do later. Sylvie's dad is supposed to have her on his insurance but my sister is too lazy to let the child support office or whoever know that he's not doing that.
Agh. I'm gonna quit thinking about it before I get annoyed. Better go fold my molehill of laundry before it turns into a mountain.
1/14/05
Ring Removal
Today I finally trusted Sweety to take out my nipple rings. They just weren't getting well and it had been almost a year since they were done. Which means it's been that long since he's gotten to touch them. It's so nice to not have to worry about snagging them on something. He kind of misses them but he'll get over it! They haven't been out a day and I already can't tell where they were.
I'm going to go and enjoy some sleep on my stomach!!!
I'm going to go and enjoy some sleep on my stomach!!!
A Sigh of Relief
Work was lovely today. After the first call where someone just completely reamed me out for something that I have no control over I had a tasty little blue pill and the rest of the night went quite nicely. I think the question that I can never hear enough of at work is "I don't understand why I have this late fee." Well, you obviously don't have a good grasp of the obvious. I mean, if there's a self explanatory fee, late fee is it. Sometimes people kill me. I've NEVER called my credit card co, electric co, or any other place that I'm a customer of and acted like a jackass. It's just not kind. Too bad more people don't get that.
I'm still excited about my first workout in forever tomorrow. I can't wait to see what I can do with this lump of flesh before the summer. I'm working towards no jiggle. I've revealed my master plan to my Sweety. He now knows if I can stick to this exercise thing for 3 months and be nice to my body I am going to get a chihuahua. I can't wait. I miss having a tiny furball. He's okay with it as long as he can get some kind of big screen t.v. I don't understand wanting a huge t.v. It's not like we can't see the one we have. But I can't bitch I guess if I'm making plans for a 2 pound dog.
I got Tasha a new collar yesterday. It has a little can on it that you can put contact info in to help hasten her return if she gets lost. Which is highly unlikely since her nose is always stuck to my calf. She likes her new "clothes". It makes a jingle noise when she walks so it's already helped to keep me from tripping over her a couple of times.
I'm still excited about my first workout in forever tomorrow. I can't wait to see what I can do with this lump of flesh before the summer. I'm working towards no jiggle. I've revealed my master plan to my Sweety. He now knows if I can stick to this exercise thing for 3 months and be nice to my body I am going to get a chihuahua. I can't wait. I miss having a tiny furball. He's okay with it as long as he can get some kind of big screen t.v. I don't understand wanting a huge t.v. It's not like we can't see the one we have. But I can't bitch I guess if I'm making plans for a 2 pound dog.
I got Tasha a new collar yesterday. It has a little can on it that you can put contact info in to help hasten her return if she gets lost. Which is highly unlikely since her nose is always stuck to my calf. She likes her new "clothes". It makes a jingle noise when she walks so it's already helped to keep me from tripping over her a couple of times.
1/13/05
Exercise
I am so pleased. I joined a gym today. My first workout is tomorrow. The first 3 times you go in someone works with you to make sure you're using the machines correctly. I really like the place. It's women only and wasn't very busy. Mostly older ladies in there. I'd rather work out around women and the program they recommend seems like something I can follow. I hope I can stick with this. My goal is to go at least 3 times a week after I take the kids to school.
Gotta go to work tonight. Yuck-o. But hopefully all the phone calls won't make me want to throw my computer out the window.
Talked to Mom last night. I really hate it that she lives so far away. Why couldn't the man of my dreams have lived just a little closer to OK? Or at least lived somewhere that you get to witness a change in seasons? Oh well...
Gotta go to work tonight. Yuck-o. But hopefully all the phone calls won't make me want to throw my computer out the window.
Talked to Mom last night. I really hate it that she lives so far away. Why couldn't the man of my dreams have lived just a little closer to OK? Or at least lived somewhere that you get to witness a change in seasons? Oh well...
1/12/05
Officially Medicated
I am now the proud owner of prescription meds to help me hang on to sanity. Paxil and Xanax. I took a Paxil this a.m. but haven't taken any Xanax yet. I'm kind of afraid to after seeing how my sister acted after she took it. But I guess the difference is I don't plan on taking 6 and washing it down with beer.
Sweety is kind of nerky about me taking medicine. He said he was raised in the manner that you just suck up whatever life throws at you. I told him he was a bigger person than me cause I can't do it anymore. He also learned yesterday that I have this blog. He wasn't crazy about that either. I told him he can have the address but after thinking about it he said he doesn't want to read what comes out of my head.
I'm going to go and eat lunch today at school with Sylvie and my youngest stepson, LB. They don't know it yet. I learned a long time ago to not announce it to them or they spend all day at the school telling the teacher every 5 minutes that I'm going to be there later.
Gonna go to the gym today and see about joining. I've decided that if I can go 3 months with exercising properly and being kind to my body my treat is going to be a new dog. My sister took her chihuahua back from me when she moved back to Oklahoma. I'd gotten quite attached to the 4 pound monster.
Sweety is kind of nerky about me taking medicine. He said he was raised in the manner that you just suck up whatever life throws at you. I told him he was a bigger person than me cause I can't do it anymore. He also learned yesterday that I have this blog. He wasn't crazy about that either. I told him he can have the address but after thinking about it he said he doesn't want to read what comes out of my head.
I'm going to go and eat lunch today at school with Sylvie and my youngest stepson, LB. They don't know it yet. I learned a long time ago to not announce it to them or they spend all day at the school telling the teacher every 5 minutes that I'm going to be there later.
Gonna go to the gym today and see about joining. I've decided that if I can go 3 months with exercising properly and being kind to my body my treat is going to be a new dog. My sister took her chihuahua back from me when she moved back to Oklahoma. I'd gotten quite attached to the 4 pound monster.
1/11/05
No sunshine and light here
I'm finally over the stomach flu it was that has had me knocked on my butt for the last several days.
While I was at home not enjoying 2 sick days I had plenty of time to think about and how I completely loathe my job. I actually started to go in Sunday but didn't feel too hot when I got there so I left. I used to not mind going to work but with the new system that's been put in the with how the call volume has been through the roof it makes me ill to know that when I get there my computer's gonna be slow and people are gonna be screaming about the same things for 10 hours. I don't mind explaining things to people but I don't like that a lot of the things they're calling in to complain about are just flat out errors that the company has made. I mean, give me the tools to do my job but for crying out loud, don't make it harder for me. The new plan is to hang in there til October at the latest and then quit. Maybe I will realize I'm too greedy to quit. But at least I'll have the option of leaving.
To help me get a grip on the stress or whatever it is that's been on me for the last little while I'm going to the doctor today. I've already decided what I'm gonna say "Look Doc. In the last 3 years I've went from living alone to having 2 stepsons, an exwife to deal with, and in the last 2 months my niece started living with me full time and I have a job that I hate. If I have to go to a meeting at work where I may have to speak I spend whatever time leading up to said meeting puking or praying that the building catches on fire so the meeting will be delayed. I can't talk to anyone about anything going on in my life without crying. I don't go outside if the neighbors or anyone is out there that I might see. And I've developed this nice picking problem. So, can you do anything to help me or is all of this just normal and I don't know how to deal with it?"
I'm not going to tell him about how when I took my dog to the paw park the other day and people talked to her I used my doggie voice to talk back. Even though friends have told me to the contrary I think that's okay. I know she has a voice, she just needs me to translate.
I don't think I used to be this way. I think moving so far away where I don't know anyone and the sudden dash into stepmotherhood has been a bit much. And my niece, Sylvie, being here full time for me to care for has kinda been the icing on the cake.
Sometimes it really pisses me off that I've eaten birth control for the last 10 years but I'm the one with the SUV and a kid all the time now while my sister lives back home and drives a sports car that she can't afford. But I know that this is the best place for Sylvie right now and I do love her to bits. But it sure it taxing trying to teach a 5 year old to read that's a little bit behind in school.
I'll be sooooo glad when the boys are grown (in 9 freaking years) and we can move. Surely I can hang in here that long. Sometimes I wish my husband would consider my plan of just taking everyone and moving to Mexico :)
While I was at home not enjoying 2 sick days I had plenty of time to think about and how I completely loathe my job. I actually started to go in Sunday but didn't feel too hot when I got there so I left. I used to not mind going to work but with the new system that's been put in the with how the call volume has been through the roof it makes me ill to know that when I get there my computer's gonna be slow and people are gonna be screaming about the same things for 10 hours. I don't mind explaining things to people but I don't like that a lot of the things they're calling in to complain about are just flat out errors that the company has made. I mean, give me the tools to do my job but for crying out loud, don't make it harder for me. The new plan is to hang in there til October at the latest and then quit. Maybe I will realize I'm too greedy to quit. But at least I'll have the option of leaving.
To help me get a grip on the stress or whatever it is that's been on me for the last little while I'm going to the doctor today. I've already decided what I'm gonna say "Look Doc. In the last 3 years I've went from living alone to having 2 stepsons, an exwife to deal with, and in the last 2 months my niece started living with me full time and I have a job that I hate. If I have to go to a meeting at work where I may have to speak I spend whatever time leading up to said meeting puking or praying that the building catches on fire so the meeting will be delayed. I can't talk to anyone about anything going on in my life without crying. I don't go outside if the neighbors or anyone is out there that I might see. And I've developed this nice picking problem. So, can you do anything to help me or is all of this just normal and I don't know how to deal with it?"
I'm not going to tell him about how when I took my dog to the paw park the other day and people talked to her I used my doggie voice to talk back. Even though friends have told me to the contrary I think that's okay. I know she has a voice, she just needs me to translate.
I don't think I used to be this way. I think moving so far away where I don't know anyone and the sudden dash into stepmotherhood has been a bit much. And my niece, Sylvie, being here full time for me to care for has kinda been the icing on the cake.
Sometimes it really pisses me off that I've eaten birth control for the last 10 years but I'm the one with the SUV and a kid all the time now while my sister lives back home and drives a sports car that she can't afford. But I know that this is the best place for Sylvie right now and I do love her to bits. But it sure it taxing trying to teach a 5 year old to read that's a little bit behind in school.
I'll be sooooo glad when the boys are grown (in 9 freaking years) and we can move. Surely I can hang in here that long. Sometimes I wish my husband would consider my plan of just taking everyone and moving to Mexico :)
1/5/05
Oogie
Wow do I feel rotten. Think I'm getting the flu.
I had to take the kiddos in this morning because Sweety had to go to work early. He's always so apologetic when he asks me to take the boys to school. He said he hates to ask me since they're his kids. If I've told him once, I've told him a thousand times - I knew he had kids when we got married and I expected to have parenting duties. It's neat when it's just me taking them because we have a chance to talk. I'm just glad that we all get along. The boys are great and luckily they seem to have adjusted well to having my niece here for the rest of the school year.
I feel bad cause today was when I was going to take my dog, Tasha to the dog park. But I just feel too crappy. Oh well. She loves laying in bed with Mama as much as she does going for a drive.
My friend Elaine wanted to know my blog address so she could check it out. Didn't give it to her though. I told her this is a place for me to talk about whatevers bugging me and I might not grouch here if I know she's reading. I'm kind of thinking of this blog as something for me to read back over later.
I had to take the kiddos in this morning because Sweety had to go to work early. He's always so apologetic when he asks me to take the boys to school. He said he hates to ask me since they're his kids. If I've told him once, I've told him a thousand times - I knew he had kids when we got married and I expected to have parenting duties. It's neat when it's just me taking them because we have a chance to talk. I'm just glad that we all get along. The boys are great and luckily they seem to have adjusted well to having my niece here for the rest of the school year.
I feel bad cause today was when I was going to take my dog, Tasha to the dog park. But I just feel too crappy. Oh well. She loves laying in bed with Mama as much as she does going for a drive.
My friend Elaine wanted to know my blog address so she could check it out. Didn't give it to her though. I told her this is a place for me to talk about whatevers bugging me and I might not grouch here if I know she's reading. I'm kind of thinking of this blog as something for me to read back over later.
1/4/05
Day 13
It's been 13 days since my lipo. Woo-hoo! It was like doing 5000 sit-ups in 2 hours. Not that I was fat to begin with. Went in to see about getting a breast lift/reduction and the doctor told me he didn't do "massive reconstruction". WTF? I don't think they look that bad.
So I figured since I was there may as well see how much it would be to get rid to my inner thighs. I am now 3500 poorer but do have thighs that don't touch, a FLAT tummy, no back fat making a line where my bra sits and a butt with some shape. I am most pleased with the tail. I've always had a flat one and whatever he did looks great. It no longer looks like an Asian butt. I wouldn't recognize it in a line up. I love it. I will wear my first bikini this year that doesn't have boyshorts for the bottom. I am so pleased.
My husband thinks my plan is to get my body in great shape and quit my sucky job to be a stripper. I think he knows I'm not social enough for that profession.
I completely despise my job. Last night was horrible. There's nothing like answering phone calls for 10 straight hours with people shrieking on the other end. You'd think by 2 a.m. people would go to bed to rest up and get ready to make waitresses cry the next day. I was aghast at some of the things people said last night. Had to take a break and decompress (cry and talk myself out of quitting) in the bathroom. I need to get back to not taking it so personally.
Hopefully, I will re-read this next year and be at a happier place in my work situation.
Must go nap now before getting the sprogs from school.
So I figured since I was there may as well see how much it would be to get rid to my inner thighs. I am now 3500 poorer but do have thighs that don't touch, a FLAT tummy, no back fat making a line where my bra sits and a butt with some shape. I am most pleased with the tail. I've always had a flat one and whatever he did looks great. It no longer looks like an Asian butt. I wouldn't recognize it in a line up. I love it. I will wear my first bikini this year that doesn't have boyshorts for the bottom. I am so pleased.
My husband thinks my plan is to get my body in great shape and quit my sucky job to be a stripper. I think he knows I'm not social enough for that profession.
I completely despise my job. Last night was horrible. There's nothing like answering phone calls for 10 straight hours with people shrieking on the other end. You'd think by 2 a.m. people would go to bed to rest up and get ready to make waitresses cry the next day. I was aghast at some of the things people said last night. Had to take a break and decompress (cry and talk myself out of quitting) in the bathroom. I need to get back to not taking it so personally.
Hopefully, I will re-read this next year and be at a happier place in my work situation.
Must go nap now before getting the sprogs from school.
1/1/05
Happy New Year!
How does one person, single handedly bring a New Year's Eve party to a screeching halt?
By shutting and LOCKING a door that has the host's 2 and a half year old son's fingers in it. Yep. That'll stop a party dead in its tracks. I heard some kid screaming on the other side but thought it was because I wouldn't let him in. It didn't occur to me that 2 of his tiny fingers were stuck by the hinge. I only opened it up when his mom started banging on the door screaming for whoever was in there to "open it the f up!" I wanted to die. I kid you not. I prayed for a sudden seizure and then death. Luckily, the fingers didn't appear to be broken so no trip to the emergency room was needed.
And how does one bring conversation to a cease by talking about the tackiest thing ever? You tell the story of how you've spent 3 years trying to wish a brain tumor on your husband's ex and instead her husband gets one. Then you find out that the host's sister died from a brain tumor 1 year ago tomorrow.
I am such a dork. I am socially retarded.
Other than those 2 horribly awkward moments everything went ok. For once I wasn't the drunk girl at the party. Smashing a toddler's fingers just kinda sucks the party mood right out of you. My husband was afraid I'd drink too much and act crazy. He didn't have a clue that instead I would inflict injury upon children.
And the host assured me that everything was ok and we were welcome back at any time. She was really nice. Too bad I couldn't have left a better first impression.
This was the first party that the husband and I had been to in 3 years of marriage. He's really looking forward to taking me out more often.
What did you do to ring in the new year?
By shutting and LOCKING a door that has the host's 2 and a half year old son's fingers in it. Yep. That'll stop a party dead in its tracks. I heard some kid screaming on the other side but thought it was because I wouldn't let him in. It didn't occur to me that 2 of his tiny fingers were stuck by the hinge. I only opened it up when his mom started banging on the door screaming for whoever was in there to "open it the f up!" I wanted to die. I kid you not. I prayed for a sudden seizure and then death. Luckily, the fingers didn't appear to be broken so no trip to the emergency room was needed.
And how does one bring conversation to a cease by talking about the tackiest thing ever? You tell the story of how you've spent 3 years trying to wish a brain tumor on your husband's ex and instead her husband gets one. Then you find out that the host's sister died from a brain tumor 1 year ago tomorrow.
I am such a dork. I am socially retarded.
Other than those 2 horribly awkward moments everything went ok. For once I wasn't the drunk girl at the party. Smashing a toddler's fingers just kinda sucks the party mood right out of you. My husband was afraid I'd drink too much and act crazy. He didn't have a clue that instead I would inflict injury upon children.
And the host assured me that everything was ok and we were welcome back at any time. She was really nice. Too bad I couldn't have left a better first impression.
This was the first party that the husband and I had been to in 3 years of marriage. He's really looking forward to taking me out more often.
What did you do to ring in the new year?
Go. Read. Now.
Amy's Musings
Art. Humor. Larceny.
Behind Closed Doors * NSFW
Bella Cara
Blue Flyer/words by Cissy Strutt
Buddha Bong
Casey
Championable
Clueless In Carolina
Dink
Doom Cake
Eureka Blyth
Finding Yourself Despite Yourself
Frustrated Mom & Dad's Blog
Ginger Stick/photos by Cissy Strutt
Here In The Hills
Life...Or Something Like It
Like A Little Bean
Married In Ohio * NSFW
Middle-Aged Man
My Lies As I See Them
My New Shoes
Normal Like You
Oh. My. Gawd. Really.
Old Fish & Lemonade
One Of Us
Osbasso
Patti-Cake Land
Pissy Britches
Queen Of Nothing
Random_Speak
Rants & Raves Of A Monster
Recovering Straight Girl
Ryannreflections
Sad & Beautiful World
Sara Says...
Single Mom Life
Snagley Snagley Snagley
Tetherd Cow Ahead
The Joey Polanski Show
The Psychiatrist's Couch Potato
The Scott English Show
The Terrible Secret Of Space
Tiny Dog
Tongue In Check
Tragic/Beautiful
V Agent For Breakfast
Welcome To My Life, Sorry About The Mess
What's "Up Chuck"?
Where The Dragons Play
Wild Scorpy
Words
Zen Is So In...Why Can't I Find It?
Zube Girl
Art. Humor. Larceny.
Behind Closed Doors * NSFW
Bella Cara
Blue Flyer/words by Cissy Strutt
Buddha Bong
Casey
Championable
Clueless In Carolina
Dink
Doom Cake
Eureka Blyth
Finding Yourself Despite Yourself
Frustrated Mom & Dad's Blog
Ginger Stick/photos by Cissy Strutt
Here In The Hills
Life...Or Something Like It
Like A Little Bean
Married In Ohio * NSFW
Middle-Aged Man
My Lies As I See Them
My New Shoes
Normal Like You
Oh. My. Gawd. Really.
Old Fish & Lemonade
One Of Us
Osbasso
Patti-Cake Land
Pissy Britches
Queen Of Nothing
Random_Speak
Rants & Raves Of A Monster
Recovering Straight Girl
Ryannreflections
Sad & Beautiful World
Sara Says...
Single Mom Life
Snagley Snagley Snagley
Tetherd Cow Ahead
The Joey Polanski Show
The Psychiatrist's Couch Potato
The Scott English Show
The Terrible Secret Of Space
Tiny Dog
Tongue In Check
Tragic/Beautiful
V Agent For Breakfast
Welcome To My Life, Sorry About The Mess
What's "Up Chuck"?
Where The Dragons Play
Wild Scorpy
Words
Zen Is So In...Why Can't I Find It?
Zube Girl
Cast Of Characters
Chickie:
Me, a childless stepmom. This is my second (and last) go at marriage.
I work second shift (Sun, Mon, Thurs & Fri) at a place where my main function is to take verbal abuse. Before meeting Sweety I was busy working 2 jobs and being really selfish. Getting an instant family has kind of tamped down my wild streak. I used to think I wanted to have babies but having kids here most of the time makes me really enjoy the alone time that Sweety and I get. Why mess with a good thing?
Sweety:
My wonderful other half. (I'm his third, and most charming, wife.)
I adore this man. He is perfect. He puts up with all my little quirks and still seems to love me. And he is tall and cute. He has primary residence of the boys so they are here a little more than half the time.
BB (big brother) & LB (little brother):
Stepsons - ages 11 & 9
Stinky dog aka Tasha:
Bassett hound with emotional issues.
Since I quit washing her every 4 days in medicated soap, she is no longer stinky. It seems I was burning her skin off thus causing the stink. But the nickname has stuck.
Tiny dog aka Oy:
Cracked out, eye booger eating, wall eating chihuahua.
My baby surrogate. I spoil this dog tremendously. As Sweety says "She's cheaper than having a kid."
EW:
Widowed exwife of Sweety.
I spent 3 years trying to use my thoughtbeams to give her a brain tumor and instead it landed on her husband. What crappy aim I have.
Me, a childless stepmom. This is my second (and last) go at marriage.
I work second shift (Sun, Mon, Thurs & Fri) at a place where my main function is to take verbal abuse. Before meeting Sweety I was busy working 2 jobs and being really selfish. Getting an instant family has kind of tamped down my wild streak. I used to think I wanted to have babies but having kids here most of the time makes me really enjoy the alone time that Sweety and I get. Why mess with a good thing?
Sweety:
My wonderful other half. (I'm his third, and most charming, wife.)
I adore this man. He is perfect. He puts up with all my little quirks and still seems to love me. And he is tall and cute. He has primary residence of the boys so they are here a little more than half the time.
BB (big brother) & LB (little brother):
Stepsons - ages 11 & 9
Stinky dog aka Tasha:
Bassett hound with emotional issues.
Since I quit washing her every 4 days in medicated soap, she is no longer stinky. It seems I was burning her skin off thus causing the stink. But the nickname has stuck.
Tiny dog aka Oy:
Cracked out, eye booger eating, wall eating chihuahua.
My baby surrogate. I spoil this dog tremendously. As Sweety says "She's cheaper than having a kid."
EW:
Widowed exwife of Sweety.
I spent 3 years trying to use my thoughtbeams to give her a brain tumor and instead it landed on her husband. What crappy aim I have.
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