2/28/05

Little Grouchy Butts

I think the children are starting to wear on each others nerves. And with the trickle effect, mine as well. It rained all weekend long so they were all cooped up in the house. This morning BB(10) was pretty grouchy with Sylvie(5). Sweety said on the way to school Sylvie announced that she would be glad to go to Oklahoma to see her mom as soon as he buys her a ticket. I hope that everyone will be in better spirits by the time school is out. I hope when my sister reclaims her daughter that it works out well.

I swear, if I go into the boys' bathroom one more time and there are mildewing clothes on the floor or pee on the seat that I will brick up the door and make them shower under the hose outside. They have their very own clothes hamper not 5 feet away. What's the problem? Maybe they have some type of phobia where they are afraid to get to close to the hamper. Usually I pick them up when I see them but the last batch was there for about 2 and a half days. And there is nothing I hate more than a wet towel on the bathroom rug. Except for boys socks that are sweaty and limp and turned inside out. Yech, the thought of that is turning my stomach. The first few times I did laundry after I moved down here were trying experiences. I still try to avoid doing the whites load.

Saturday night was lovely, lovely, lovely. Great dinner, great sex, okay t.v. viewing and then great sex again. Woo-hoo! And my dear was kind enough to let me sleep in on Sunday. I slept til noonish and then got up for the day. Instead of getting up early and then taking a nap before work.

Today is day one of my diet. I'm really going to do this. My goal is to just eat less and exercise more for at least the next 6 weeks. That is when I will have my "after" photos made. I went in to do that a couple of weeks ago but I'm still so bruised up and swollen that they decided to wait. I can stay away from McDonald's for six weeks. I discovered that I like Wendy's chili last night so that should help on the nights that I forget to take my lunch to work. And we went grocery shopping on Saturday so I was able to stock up on some stuff. Mainly tuna kits, soup fixings and yogurt. Yum, yum. Makes my mouth water thinking about a nice tasty tuna kit... No, it doesn't. It makes me want to gag. No use trying to fool myself.

I think I'll go eat some carrots while I look at potato chips.

2/26/05

Sweety's Cooking!

Yay! He's a good cook. New Orleans Style Scallops w/Cajun Beans & Rice. I love it. The kids love it. And it's something we can all kind of cook together. My part is over - I'm in charge of the chopping of vegetables. And then strawberry shortcake for dessert. I can't wait to eat. I may even have a glass of wine with it. Carefully concealed in a plastic cup, pretending that I'm drinking juice. So as to not disturb my stepsons. I think their stepdad (may he rest in peace) used to drink and get kind of grouchy with them. So they are very nerky with the idea of any grown ups drinking alcohol around them. I had an appletini once when we went out to eat and I thought they were going to have strokes.

Sweety has canned my dog idea for BB(10). His reasoning is that if I'm going to get a chihuahua within the next few months that will be 3 dogs in the house and that would be too much all at once. I guess I could be extremely selfless and get BB a dog and then I could get one later but I don't think I will. I told Sweety that last night I was looking at baby pictures thinking "Hey, maybe that's not a bad idea." But in the light of day have decided that I really want a dog instead.

Dogs are good. They don't talk back. You can feed them the same thing every day. And if you want to go on a date you can put a small one in the tub for awhile.

Dinner's ready!

2/25/05

Getting a Dog

Last night a lady at work asked me if I knew anyone that wanted a puppy. A 1/2 weenie dog-1/2 chihuahua one. You betcha. Sign me up. We've been thinking about getting BB(10) a dog over here but it hasn't happened for various reasons. A friend in TX had said she wanted to get rid of her dog but changed her mind. Whenever we go to the pound all the dogs there are too big or puppies and we don't know how big they will end up being. We've thought about buying a purebreed dog but couldn't make up our mind on what kind. So this should work nicely. They'll be ready in May. That's when Sylvie(5) is leaving so hopefully the dog will bond with BB and not her.

And I should probably have my chihuahua by my birthday in August. I was looking at pictures of Chi Chi this morning. I can't believe that I let my sister repossess her! Agh. She's so cute. And grouchy.

Stinky dog Tasha will probably never even know about it when the chi lands. I plan on sewing pouches inside all of my shirts to tote her around in. This way Tasha will never know she's not mama's only child. She'll just think I smell different. Or maybe she's smarter than I give her credit for.

I haven't told Sweety yet that I've secured a pup for BB. Probably should do that. I'm not going to tell BB about it til it's time to go pick one out. Just in case the dog gets hit by a bus or something before it births.

Gotta go get the littlest sprog from school.

Good Morning to Me

I found this blog www.helookslike.blogspot.com and have spent the last 30 minutes checking it out. It's a site where someone takes photos of people and then makes up stories about them. I do that all the time. It's never occurred to me that someone else does too. Maybe I'm not as weird as I thought.

After delivering Sylvie to her classroom I ran into EW on my way to my car. She commented that she didn't know how I could work nights and still function during the day. That if it was her she'd be all snappish with her kids. I told her it wasn't too bad. What I wanted to say was "Sometimes you just do what you've got to do" She's told Sweety before that we just don't understand how hard her life is with having so many kids and only one income (this was when her husband was alive) Gee, excuse me. How about get a job and some birth control? As I watched her waddle away I was able to use my thoughtbeams to turn the unborn baby into the breech position. Note to self: park in different spot next week to avoid this from occurring again.

Sylvie had a major crash on her bike yesterday. On Thursdays Sweety bowls and the girl next door babysits her. Somehow she fell off her bike and the handle bar scraped up and down on her throat. It looks horrible. I'm glad it didn't cut her damn head off. I hope nobody at the school thinks she's being abused and calls the child protection services. Her kindergarten picture looks horrible too. In the 3 days before the picture she got whacked between the eyes with a wooden porch swing and the dog scratched her from the bottom of her lip all the way down her chin. She looked like someone who'd just been in the boxing ring. She's had 2 broken arms. I was with her for the worst one. The kids were playing tag and her and LB's feet got tangled up. She hit the ground like a ton of bricks. The way it was broken looked like she had 2 elbows. It was awful. It was her thumb-sucking hand that the broken arm was on. She kept trying to use her good arm to push the broken one closer to her face on the way to the hospital so she could suck her thumb. I suggested that she suck the thumb on the hand that wasn't broken but that's when she started to cry and told me it didn't taste as good. Being a former thumb sucker myself, I empathized completely. She is one tough little cookie.

It's all gloomy like it's going to rain today. Hopefully, it will rain tomorrow so we won't have to go to the race.

I love sleep during the day when the sun is hidden! I need to go secure my lair and find my earmuffs to block out the dog sounds.

2/24/05

Shhh! Quiet Thursday

Everyone is gone to school. Thank you and amen. Just me and the dishwasher and the snoring dog. It's quieter now than it was when everyone else but me was asleep. I laid in bed last night listening to the pooch and Sweety take turns breathing loudly. I couldn't decide who I'd smother first. I could've put the earplugs in but was too lazy/sleepy to dig around for them.

Yesterday at lunch with Mary, she told me that work has denied her claim for unemployment. They denied it by saying she was fired for a totally different reason than what they'd given her. I know that she's being screwed. She asked if I would be a character witness when she appealed. I asked her if she was trying to get me fired too and that I was sorry but I couldn't do that because then we'd both be without jobs. Her mom was dining with us and backed me up on it. I think the world of her and if I really thought it would do any good then I'd do it. But I know it won't and that it will just earn me a target on my back. She was okay with me saying no. She's said about the whole situation that God doesn't like ugly. She's just going to let God smite the turkey that engineered her firing. I let her know I'd been thinking evil thoughts on her behalf but she asked me to stop. I also told her that if the going got tough that I'd be happy to bring her family some groceries.

Went to the school last night for a reading workshop for Sylvie(5). It comforted me in a sick sort of way to see that she's not the only kid having problems blending sounds into words. I didn't like being in the classroom with a bunch of other folks though. Had a tiny bit of anxiety. Kinda felt like I couldn't breathe. I was glad when it was over but glad that we'd had the opportunity cause they gave me some good ideas on ways to help her.

Got home around 8 p.m. At 9 p.m. when the boys are being put to bed we're looking over BB's(10) homework and it is a train wreck. On Wednesday's their mom gets them from school and Sweety picks them up after work. Yesterday he didn't get off work til 5:15 and usually he's there way earlier than that to get them. So BB has done his homework at her house and she didn't even look at it when he was done. So the poor kid was up til 10 re-doing his homework. Sweety said he's tired of looking like the bad guy when it comes to homework and schoolwork but I told him he has to do it if she's not. Or else his child will be a fourth grader forever.

I've got to learn how to braid a freaking lanyard. BB brought home this little braided doohickey from school that he'd borrowed from one of his friends cause he thought it was so cool and he wanted to figure out how to make one. What I should have said was "Hmmm. That looks neat. Hope you figure it out." Instead I said "Hey, I know what that is. It's called a lanyard. You can buy kits for them at Wallyworld. I'll get one for you next time I'm out." Little did I know that it was going to involve a very detailed instruction sheet. I'm going to take it work tonight and try to make him one. He wants one for a bracelet. I'm thinking maybe it would be easier to just break down and buy him a silver or gold i.d. bracelet like he's been begging for since he was in the first grade and that he hasn't been allowed to get cause a gradeschooler does not need to be wearing bling. And then tell him to never ask me about the lanyard project.

Got lucky last night. Woo hoo! I'm pretty sure I'd love my Sweety just as much even if he weren't so good under the sheets. Pretty sure...

Speaking of sheets - they are whispering my name.

2/23/05

Stuff

I guess we're going to some kind of car race this weekend. I am so not a fan of racing. We went a couple of years ago and I hated it. The noise, the smell, the taste of rubber bits in your mouth. The boys love it though. And so does Sylvie. As does Sweety. When we were there I didn't realize that there was a big board up that told you what lap the cars were on so I had no idea how long we'd been there or when we would be leaving. It felt like I was stuck in some kind of Twilight Zone episode. Once Sweety pointed it out to me I started watching the lap board instead of the race. The funniest thing was that at one point BB, who was 7 or 8 at the time, asked me when they would stop for a commercial cause he needed to go to the bathroom.

Going to go have lunch with Mary today. She said she had lots to tell me. I can't wait to get filled in. Even though she no longer works with me she still manages to keep up with the gossip.

Insomnia

Sweety left for work early and I just can't go back to sleep. Rats. I don't want to take anything to make me sleepy cause I gotta get up in an hour anyway.

Took the kiddos to the park after school yesterday and damn near broke my tailbone. They always want me to get on the equipment and play with them. When they were small and me pretending I was a Power Ranger was enough, that was cool. But now they want to play tag. And it wears my physically unfit self out. So usually, if I'm taking them to the park we'll go somewhere that will be populated with other kids or I'll wear clothing that I can't play tag in. But yesterday we went to a nice new deserted park and I had on my workout clothes. No excuses. I had to play. LB(8) chased me to the edge of the second tier of equipment and in my frenzy to get away from him I just bailed off to the ground. I figured I'd be okay. I see them bound off of it all the time. HA! I landed flat on my ass. I think the force of the fall compressed my spine. I'm at least and inch shorter today than I was yesterday. And of course I was tagged "it" during my ungraceful descent to the ground. So I'm chasing BB(10) and he falls down and starts crawling/scrambling away as fast as he can. My first thought isn't "Oh no! Wonder if he's hurt?" it's more of "You better tag him while he's on all fours or you're gonna be it the whole time we're here!" After about 90 seconds of him trying to get away I tag him. I feel guilty later when he's rubbing his knees that are now black from the friction burn he got trying to escape me. I considered the playing with the kids my exercise and didn't go to the gym yesterday. I was too tired after all that.

I promised Sylvie(5) that I would wait for her to get out of school today before taking stinky dog Tasha to the dog park and that afterwards I'd take her to the people park. On Wednesdays the boys are picked up from school by their mom and they didn't like hearing of our plans. I told them I couldn't take them all to the paw park anyway cause for every adult there can be no more than 3 beings (animal and child). Tonight Sylvie and I are going to the school for an hour long workshop to help me help her learn to read better. This learning to read thing is killing me. I could kill my sister for not spending any time working with her. But I can tell that she's doing 100% better at picking up stuff than she was when she first got here. I'm glad to see improvement or I would be tempted to throw in the towel.

Sweety and LB had to go to the exwife's house to pick up some homework that LB had left behind. Sweety reported that EW is really starting to fatten up with the pregnancy. Good. I hope her ankles break under the additional weight. Sweety can't believe that I still delight in her discomfort. I told him basically if someone goes out of their way countless times to be a pain in my ass and anything bad ever happens to them in their life I'm not going to feel sorry for them in the least. I'm a fan of what goes around comes around and I believe revenge is tasty cold.

I've made it through a few baseball seasons sitting with her in the stands making chit-chat while Sweety coaches. All the while trying to ignore the loud screeching that her voice would cause in my brain and the headache that I'd get from being pleasant. I got on to LB at one game because he kept backtalking her and was actually stomping on her feet and kicking dirt on her. After we got in the car to go home I told him that I didn't care if I was there and his mom was there if he ever acted like that again and I saw it he would be punished at our house too. If I was totally evil I would have delighted in that too, right? After that at the games if he started to act up she'd point out to him that I was sitting nearby and he better straighten up. How backwards is that?

I'm a big blog lurker. I love to read about other people's lives. Sometimes it makes me think back on things I've dealt with. I can't believe how much different this marriage is from my first one. I don't think anyone who's a freshly turned 18 should be allowed to marry. But then again if I hadn't been with my first husband I'd probably have not been in the right place at the right time to meet my Sweety. One good thing I did get from the first go around was a great set of in-laws that I'm still friends with. And a really neato nephew. My nephew came to visit us in December 2003 and ended up calling Sweety "uncle". My former sister in law has 3 kids- the nephew, one niece and one brand new nephew that I haven't even met yet. I'm especially close with my nephew cause he was the first baby that I got to be around. I loved watching him. I wouldn't put him down. One time my SIL called me and asked me if I'd put him down at all in the last 24 hours and I had to admit that I had not. I think babies are for spoiling. They won't be small enough to sleep on your chest forever! I can't wait til this summer gets here so I can go visit my mom in Oklahoma and my friends in Texas.

I guess I shall go find some clothes to wear for the day.

2/22/05

Still Our Friends

I was really worried that I had totally offended the couple we were out with the other night with some of my drunken antics and ramblings. But apparently all is good. Good. Don told Sweety that after they got home his wife kept at him in the bedroom til about 3 a.m. No word on if she finally swallowed. And she told Sweety they had a large time out with us and would love to do it again. Maybe people like to talk about lesbianism, anal sex and blow jobs more than I'd realized. I think after I commented that I like nipples but am not a huge fan of anything else on some other female form it kinda opened the floodgates to a no holds barred type conversation. Whew, I was afraid I'd alienated the only one kind-of-friend we hang out with that I'd managed to make down here. I'm still going to maybe censor myself a little bit the next time we go out. Or at least learn to lower my voice when discussing such matters.

2/18/05

Cooking

I'm waiting for 2 eggs to boil. Get the niece to school early for breakfast, walk her over to her class door and realize that everyone else has 2 boiled eggs for a class project later today. I got the note telling us about it and put it on the icebox to remind me. If there are already 1000 other pieces of paper on the fridge door it kinda loses it's significance when you put another one up.

Sylvie got up this a.m. after Sweety left and got in bed with me. She was pretty awake at 3:30 a.m. since she went to bed at 7 p.m. so she kept getting right in my face to see if I was asleep or not. I was ever so grateful when she conked out. This morning she looks at me with her little pink shirt on and her two ponytails coming out of the top of her head like horns, makes this screwed up face and proclaims in a creepy voice "I want to eat your soul" WTF? She said she was practicing being a vampire for Halloween. I must more closely monitor her t.v. viewing habits.

Then after I take these freaking boiled eggs to the school I get to come home and sleep for 2 hours before going to eat lunch with LB(8). I'm such a bad planner. Mental note to self: Clean icebox front and no more school lunches on the days that I work.

Humpty Dumpty should be hard by now. Gonna go let him cool his heels in some ice water before he goes to the school to get maimed.

As Close to Loving My Job as Humanly Possible

I almost like going to work now. It's hard for me to remember the kind of chaos I was in at work just 2 short weeks ago, exactly one floor up from now I where sit. I am very content to be an ant at my job. The world needs ants to keep everything going. And I get a lot of book reading time in with my phone on mute.

Just saw Sweety off to work. One of his driver's is out again so he's outta here way early. Saturday we have a date. Sylvie is off to the sitter's and we are out to paint the town red. Or mauve.

He brought up my blog again the other night. I told him I wouldn't send him the link but I would send him the posts. I did and he deleted them without reading them. I am so surprised. He is so nosy I just knew he wouldn't be able to hit the delete button. I wonder if he will go back and undelete them tomorrow.

I can't wait til Tuesday gets here. I'm gonna sleep for at least 7 straight hours. I sure do love my bed. I wish I was a bear. Or a wombat. I just like that word. Wombat. Wombat. Wombat. They are cute as hell.

When I blink I can hear my eyelids trying to stay slammed shut. Going to bed. I'm too dinged out for words.

2/17/05

School Lunch

Today's school lunch menu was titled:
Black History Month Celebration Meal
Oven Fried Chicken, Cornbread, Seasoned Greens and Fresh Fruit.

What? No watermelon? I nearly choked when I saw it. What a nice cliche-ish was to celebrate Black History. Maybe after lunch they let the kids go pick cotton.

I did not partake of the Celebration Meal. I am not fond of meat on a stick. Tomorrow is pizza day. Yay.

Oh. There's Life Out There

Neato. Just realized I got my first comment. Which means someone has stumbled upon this and bothered to read.

I will go celebrate by eating Cheetos before my nap. I'll be glad when all the Cheetos are gone. I think Sweety is trying to sabotage my new health routine. He knows that I have no self control.

Odds N Ends

I wish I didn't work. I think the only way I'll be able to justify staying at home is if I boing out a baby. And that ain't happening. Maybe after I accumulate all the "things" I think are needed I can quit and stay at home to polish them.

Had an odd conversation with Sweety last night. No sex for me because of my monthly visitor (who I love to see arrive because that means there are no hitch hikers in my uterus) but a nice round of rough oral sex for him. I kinda like having my period cause it means I'll enjoy doing just that. Afterwards he commented that he was afraid he was fucking my face too hard. Isn't he considerate? I told him I don't think he could do it too hard and if I'm ever actually smothering he'll know it. Then I made the kind of backpedalling motion a cat makes when you're trying to put it in the water to demonstrate how I would express myself in that situation. Basically told him if I was still grabbing his ass he could just keep on keeping on.

The exwife is having a garage sale to scare up some change. BB(10) is very sensitive to the money situation at his mom's and asked if we had anything to contribute to the garage sale. So, being the kind hearted person that I am did donate a few items. All little knick knacky things that she didn't take with her when she moved out. The boys were telling us that their furniture over there got repossessed. And you know how when someone is in the military and they die they get a flag? Well, she let their brother (kid she had with now deceased second husband) play with the flag and he puked on it. Bwwwhaaaahaaa! I am sick and am going to hell I know. I feel bad for any hardships the boys endure when they are at her house but must admit to silent GLEE when hearing about anything that causes that cunt discomfort. I hope the baby on the way is breech. Folded in half breech with her feet tucked by her ears. And I hope the epidural thingy is broken and she has no painkillers. Okay, all I gotta do is go sacrifice a cat and my curse on her will be complete.

On BB's school project he got a grade of 110. Now he's afraid his teacher will enter it in the fair and he'll have to give a speech in front of a bunch of people that he doesn't know. He did a lot of studying for the project. He had to read a book about the plague twice and then he had to take a test that I made up to be sure that the understood what he read. He decided the next time he has a project to do he will do it the first day it is assigned rather than the last.

Gotta go eat lunch at school today with Sylvie(5). And then tomorrow with LB(8). If I go one day and eat with her I damn sure better go the next day and eat with him. Or horrendous rivalry ensues. I think these may be my last school lunches. I'm kinda burned out on them. But if they ask me to go I feel bad if I don't. I know that LB doesn't get a lot of attention at his mom's. And I'm hoping since he knows I will be at the school for lunch with him tomorrow that she will be sure to send him to school. God help everyone if I get up at what is my midnight to eat a school lunch and the kid is not there but home "sick". He faked his way out of school last Friday. Surely she won't fall for it two weeks in a row.

Our new countertops will be installed in the kitchen Monday. Goody goody gumdrops. And there is no school for President's Day. Luckily I have the day off as a vacation day so at least I won't have to be awake all day with Sylvie and the installers and then have to go to work. I'll just stay awake til Sweety gets home and then lock myself in the bedroom. I started locking my door when I nap cause I got tired of waking up to Sylvie poking me with her finger on my forehead because she had some important tattling to do.

Speaking of naps. Think I'll go rub one off and have a nap before my fine culinary experience at the school. I hope it's pizza day.

2/14/05

Susy Homemaker

I am sitting here waiting for a beautiful bowl of homemade chicken carrot noodle soup to cool so I can get my belly full and then nap. I managed not to burn this batch. Yay for me.

It has now been devoured and that shit was goooood. Yum. I even shared some with the dog.

I'm dying to get another chihuahua. But first Sweety has to get this big screen t.v. thing. He said he's gonna buy it for his birthday in May. I'll be glad when that gets here. So then I can sit on the couch and watch Desperate Housewives in HDTV and pet my Oy all at the same time. Our new living room furniture rocks. It's made out of the kind of leather used for footballs. It's so soft. It is the nicest furniture either of us has ever had. And the display cabinet for all my crystal things looks great too. One of the neighbors said it looked like something you see in a store where they sell the stuff. Sweety introduced me to world of Swarovski crystal knick knacks and I love them. I'm a big fan of anything shiny, tinfoil, diamonds, broken glass, whatever. I think I was a bird in a past life. My nest was probably the blingy-est on the tree.

Well I see that stinky dog Tasha has curled up for a nap. It must be a sign. There is NOTHING better than a good mattress covered in freshly laundered 600 ct sheets. I love our bed. It was the first purchase we made together and we should've done it much sooner. We'd been sleeping on a little queen sized bed that he had when I moved down here. I had a king size bed but he didn't want to sleep in it because he knew other people had been there. So okay, make me sleep in the same tiny ass bed you slept in with your exwife. Thanks. He still feels bad about that. I didn't tell him how much it pissed me off til after we got the new bed. That was about a year after I moved down here. And the 600 ct thread sheets rule. It's like sleeping in butter. I got some on sale for $100 at Bed, Bath & Beyond and sent them to my Mom and Stepdad. They love them also.

I'm gonna go pretend I'm an ear of corn in my lovely bed.

2/13/05

Ta-Dah!

One school project completed. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. And I also made Valentine's day cards for BB(10) to hand out. He helped with picking everything out. We did them on the computer. They are postcard sized and have a Reese cup hot glued to the corner. Sweety saw all the stuff I was doing for BB today with the cards and the project and commented he wished his parents would have divorced when he was a kid instead of waiting til he was grown so he could've had a stepmom growing up.

Sweety is out bowling. The children are acting like ferrets on crack. They seem to be super charged up tonight for some reason. I promised a story tonight. Better go put my story thinking cap on.

Drunk as hell

jp;u0p sjo;/ oh. that ain't right. What I meant was "holy shit". I've had to much to drink I do believe. Sweety is defuzzing. Not that he's overly fuzzy. Just if I'm gonna even think about lickin your butt it better not have anything on it.

I may have to go get the blue suitcase. You know your life has changed when you don't keep your sex toys in the house but in a suitcase in the car.

I told him in February of 2006 I would send him the link here so he'd know I wasn't plotting my leaving all this time. I like my Sweety tons.

2/12/05

The Quiet Before the Storm

Am trying to be quiet and not wake the niece up. She came and woke me this morning and asked me to come sleep with her. I asked if she wanted to snuggle. Of course she did. In the most uncomfortable position that I could have to be in for her to snuggle. With her little morning breaths pounding in my face. But I love her. So I laid there til Sweety got up to get the boys and then most gently eased myself out of the bed. And still she sleeps. I'm surprised. Usually she's raring to go at exactly 7 a.m.

I should be sleeping but I just know as soon as I lay down she'll come in here and be ready for breakfast. And I don't want her to find me laying in my bed and think I abandoned her. That happened once and for the longest time if I went to lay with her she would try not to sleep cause she thought I was going to leave as soon as it happened. I don't sleep with her that often. Sometimes just an hour or two after I get home from work on Friday night/Saturday morning. I was reading the paper the other morning at 3 o'clock and she scared the shit out of me by sneaking up on me and just saying a quiet "boo". She's gotten to where she wakes up when I'm getting home and will come out to say hi.

After Sweety gets home I'm going to go exercise and then go to the library and try to find the book about the plague that BB(10) read for his project so I (whoops, I mean HE) can put it in the bibliography. Hopefully the exercise will get me going and I will forget that I'm going on 3 hours of sleep. We still have to go get all the supplies for the school project. Nothing like a little procrastination to get you moving. I work better under panic.

Sweety asked me if $100 would cover my attention to the school project today. I informed him that I need $200 and I want him to cut his arm off and present the money to me in his dead fist. He said that it's for times like this that he married me. And I thought it was because I gave a good blow job. I think I'm gonna ask him to bathe the dog for me as a trade-off.

He is totally grossed out by my idea of using stinky dog fleas to help illustrate how the bubonic plague was transmitted. (I know that rat fleas it caused it but I couldn't catch a rat to comb) I think he thinks people will think we have fleas. We don't. Tasha just has a few. It's not like she infested. She just happens to get to go outside and there are about 1 million flea infested cats in the neighborhood. She's a fucking dog for goodness sake. I told him it's the nature of things for her to get a few hitchhikers. And it just shows how much I love my stepson that I'm willing to search them out and seize them intact for him to carefully press between two pieces of scotch tape.

Forget it. I can't hold my eyes open. I will go treasure what few minutes of sleep I can scrounge before Sylvie gets up.

2/11/05

Dreading the Weekend

I am truly not looking forward to having Saturday AND Sunday off. Since I had to work Tuesday night I'm getting Sunday off. All the kids are gonna be here and I have to help BB(10) with his class project. I just know that tears and bloodshed will ensue. Maybe it will go smoothly. Maybe his 10 year old self will be able to effortlessly crank out a 500 work essay on the black death. Maybe we'll pick him up from his Mom's on Saturday morning and she will have helped him get that part of it done. Maybe tiny golden squirrels will come out next time I blow my nose. I doubt she even realizes that he has a project.

It's bad when you'd rather go to work than stay home with your family. I wonder if I'd feel any differently if they were my own kids. Probably not. I went through a crisis awhile back where I was all freaked out because the boys really got on my nerves sometimes. I thought I just didn't love them enough because I didn't birth them. I didn't do anything outwardly so they knew when they were bugging me. I actually went overboard on being nice if I was feeling mean/grouchy so nobody would know. But Sweety picked up on my psychic SOS that I was sending out and sat me down and needled me til I told him what was the matter. When I finally told him my fears he laughed at me and told me that it was okay to wish they would just go away sometimes. That he loved them to pieces and sometimes they got on his nerves too. I was afraid that if they were my own kids I'd love them and be happy with them all the time and it would be sunshine and light 24/7 and that the negative feelings I sometimes had were the result of me being an evil stepmother.

It's nice to know that even though I spend my free time trying to kill some people with my thought beams that I'm not TOTALLY bad.

It is Good

Just got off my first full shift with my new schedule. I love it. I don't love my job, but if I've gotta do what I'm doing, I'm in the best place for it. Yay!

Came in and saw Sweety off to work. He caught me eating pizza and jalapeno peppers right out of the jar. I love pickled jalapenos. I think I may try to grill some in a sandwich sometime.

Got all of Sylvie's clothes laid out so we can get up and get to school in time for her to eat breakfast there. We do that on Friday's since the boys aren't here. She'd like to go during the week but they refuse. So it's mine and her date on Friday mornings.

Gonna have to put my earplugs in to muffle stinky dog sounds. I wish I could find a nice older lesbian couple that wanted a bassett hound. She'd love that. She's terrified of men and boys. She loves Sylvie(5). They play tag. I let them sleep together sometimes. She's such a good bed buddy. Too stinky right now for my bed though. I'll let my hand dangle over the edge and she'll pet her head with it til she gets tired then she'll go get in her own bed.

My lips are burning from all the pepper juice. Very Angelina Jolie-ish. She is so hot. I buy every magazine that has her in it. Sweety knows that if the chance ever comes up I'd leave him for her. I think our marriage is safe.

Wow. I am dinged out. Tired tired.

2/10/05

Thursday Yucks

Have to go to work tonight. Ick. Am already dreading it. I hope my new supervisor has a spot for me to sit. After training Tuesday I put all my crap from my old desk in a trash can and lugged it to our new area but there wasn't a desk with my name on it. And she'd already left for home. I don't like living out of a trash can. I am more productive when my things are just right on my desk. OCD at work.

Speaking of OCD - I got one of those pill thingys where you can put a weeks worth of pills in them. I've gotten so effing forgetful that I need it. This way I'll take everything when I'm brushing my teeth. Hmm, what to do if I start forgetting to brush my teeth? For my vitamin right now it's Looney Tunes chewables. I'm out of my own vitamins and somehow we have 3 bottles of kid vitamins. These are the ones that are expiring in 2 months. Quite tasty. Almost like having a dessert. Not.

Cleared up the reading in the bathroom thing with Sweety. It's cold water running, not hot. I'm kinda glad he does it. It give me time to play on the computer or pick my nose and I know he's busy.

Gotta clean the house today. The girl next door watches Sylvie(5) tonight and I can't have her see the house a mess. I'm surprised she even comes over to play. I've been in her house a couple of times. It doesn't look lived in. And it always smells like cinnamon. And their yard! Her dad is ALWAYS outside doing something. And if he can't find anything to do then he'll blow off his already clean driveway. At Christmas he puts up lights that look like just a row of lights like . . . . . . . . And then spends 3 or 4 hours with his ladder going around the edge of the house making sure they are all pointed in the same direction. I decided I didn't like him after I found out he slept with Sweety's previous wives. (he's been married twice. the first time was for 6 months when he was 18) When I first moved here he came over several times to borrow silly shit from the garage. I think he wanted an invite inside cause he never came over when Sweety was home. They don't have any trees in their yard but we have one right on our side of the property line. So when he rakes leaves he'll push them in a big pile just on the other side of the line. I wanted to burn them where he puts them but I was told that wasn't neighborly. It's my side of the yard, right?

I think I'm going to take a tiny nap before exercising and cleaning. I think it's the Korean in me. My Mom naps at weird times. I can eat at any time of the day and then nap afterward. Nothing better than snuggling up with a full belly in a nice soft bed. Good night to me!

2/9/05

Plumped

I am full as a tick. We went to Carrabba's for dinner. I love their food. And I'm glad the sprogs palates are advanced enough that they appreciate it too. We ordered 2 adult entrees and split it amongst the 5 of us. They give you a lot of food. Had Pollo Rosa Maria (chicken stuffed w/something in some kinda wine sauce and covered in mushrooms), some good good good chocolate cake for dessert and brought home some of the appetizer. I can eat that in the morning while I'm half asleep and rummaging through the icebox.

Having more than 1 kid around is kinda like having a pack of wolves. Once they get going they just feed off of each others whinyness. All are in bed. Thank you and amen. Sylvie(5) wanted to sleep in the tent. But first I made her pick up the toy room. You woulda thought I had cut off her sucking thumb the way she carried on. Got it picked up enough so that if the house catches fire I won't trip and break my leg on anything while saving her. I love the little turkey.

Sweety is reading the paper in the bathroom with the shower on. I don't know why he does that. He gets on to me for keeping the a/c on but likes to poop and read with the hot water running. I think I'll ask him about it when he gets out. Oh. Toilet flush. I've got 7 minutes while he showers to try and arrange myself to look my most alluring for when he comes out. :)

Oh Phooey

I just realized that when I posted a comment on someone's blog earlier that I didn't do it anonymously. I did it so it links back here. This wouldn't be a big deal but it's a blog that Sweety keeps up with and I know he'll recognize the post as mine. He knows about my blog and it's not like I write any big secrets here but I'd feel self conscious if I knew he was reading it. And I know he would make good natured fun of me about things that I write until I stabbed him with hot forks of displeasure. I posted another comment to the blog owner asking if he could delete my post or something. Maybe he will. If he doesn't maybe Sweety won't see it anyway. I guess if he does it's a sign. A sign for me to start a new blog. Cause I know if he found my blog he wouldn't be able to keep it to himself. He'd have to share the discovery with me to let me know how un-clever I can be.

Stinky Dog

Before I fell asleep I started having some of those crazy thoughts you get right before sleep hits. And I wonder...

Do dogs get boogers? I mean, Tasha makes a lot of noise when she's breathing. Maybe I need to clean in there with a q-tip or something. I clean her ears. And wipe out her immense eye boogers. And squeeze her anal glands. Maybe I should be picking her nose too.

I think when I get her teeth cleaned and she's unconscious I'm gonna ask the vet if we can shave her. Maybe I could get her skin condition cleared up if the soap could get right on her. Or maybe the soap would be too harsh and her skin would burn off. I could put a sweater on her so she doesn't leave oily marks every where while her hair grows back. I wonder if it would itch? Man, my husband would have me committed if he came home to be greeted by a shaved bassett hound.

Happy Hump Day

From the title you can't tell what's on my mind for later, can ya? I just realized that is really what we generally do on Wednesday. I'm off on Tuesday's so he usually gets a nice time (or some type of "release") that night but I'm pretty tired from working Monday night so I go all out on Wednesdays and Saturdays.

I sent Sweety a copy of the previous post. He hasn't acknowledged it but when I came in from work there was a whole mushroom pizza from Domino's waiting for me in the icebox. Yum. Food is love. I know he got it for me cause he hates mushrooms. Says he just gets grossed out thinking he's eating something that may have been plucked straight out of shit before it was put in the grocery store. Whatever. I'll take my chances.

Got my training last night to learn how to answer the new type of phone calls that I'll be taking. It's less busy in that department so maybe that will ease my stress level.

Went to the doctor yesterday. Got more Paxil. No Xanax. I still have a lot of those and I don't think I need them since the Paxil's kicked in. I don't care if the Paxil is causing the odd dreams. At least my awake life is regular. I really do miss the flying dreams. Hopefully the invisible lions won't return. I'm trying to think of some way to make them into a story.

Got some antibiotics for a sinus infection. Haven't exercised in a week cause whenever I get hot I hack uncontrollably. I peed myself coughing the other day. That was a first. My abs are getting a good workout from the coughing though. I may try to go exercise later this morning. I say this while coughing/gagging and typing.

BB(10) has a project due on the 14th. On the bubonic plague. He has to do a display and a 500 word essay. The essay is gonna kill us. Maybe I'll do the essay and make him do a bloody pinky swear that he'll never tell. (just kidding) Luckily I'm off this Sunday and can help him so Sweety won't have to do so much. I told Sweety to take the small ones on a weekend trip and just leave me and BB(10) at home to work. He thinks I'm joking. I'm not.

Gotta go get some sleep. My eyes are burning. Must find fire extinguisher.

2/7/05

Why I like my Sweety

I'm feeling mushy. Maybe I'm just tired. But I'm missing him now. Sometimes working kind of opposite schedules really sucks.

I call him Charlie sometimes in my head, as in Charlie Brown. That's who he reminded me of when I first met him. I saw him and his boys wearing complimentary polo type shirts, khaki shorts and socks pulled up their calves when I got off the plane to meet them. They were so cute. I told him I called him Charlie in my head sometimes but he didn't take it as a compliment. But I do mean it as such.

He's so nice. He puts up with all of my quirks. It seemed crazy that within a couple of weeks of meeting I knew he was "the one". We met on a blind date. He was coming to TX from FL to visit his sister and he told me that when he was driving there he had a feeling that it was going to turn into something good before he even met me. I didn't share the feeling. I blew off meeting him for 3 days just because I didn't want to suffer through a blind date. I'd done it once before, with disastrous results. I think I may post about that date later. It's the one instance in my life that I can remember every detail to.

He's great with his kids. They adore him. As does my niece. I think she likes him more than she likes me. He helps around the house. He doesn't grouch when the house gets messy. He helped me clean on Saturday before we left to go running around and it was SOO nice to come home to a clean house. He even washed the dog for me while I cleaned other things.

He's been willing to try new things since meeting me. He'd never had a shot of liquor in his life and he's 7 years older than me. I broke him in on tequila. It was a wild body shot night :) He'd never ran a tab in a bar either or put a dinner out on a credit card. Gee, it kind of looks like I've been a bad influence. But we only go out and get nuts every other weekend when the boys aren't here.

He's always doing nice things for me. I think the best surprise ever was when I woke up at 10 a.m. to the smell of him frying squash and seeing a frosty can of Coke on the counter. The man knows what I like. He used to bring me avocados and mixed nuts all the time but I had to ask him to lay off. I was getting fat.

Sometimes I feel like I don't do enough for him. I've been trying to keep the house tidier. Maybe I will start to cook more. Cook more things that Do Not come out of a frozen box.

We work well together. I love him so.

Dreams

I have been have some Strange dreams. I used to have flying dreams a lot. Where if something was chasing me I could just zoom away. If something was after me or if I had somewhere to get in a hurry I'd just float out of there. Usually my flying would take place starting from around where I grew up. I loved my flying dreams. I wish they would come back.

In their place are new dreams where I'm usually stuck in an industrial ceiling, either trying to hide from someone/something or am trying to get out. Sometimes I'll poke my way through what I think is the top but just be in another layer of ceiling. I've had this kind of dream before so they're not too unsettling.

And for the last few nights I've been dreaming about invisible lions. Invisible killer lions. That just roam the streets eating people. And you can't see them unless they get a coating of blood and dust on their invisible outlines. I don't know what the hell these dreams mean. I was afraid to go to sleep last night because I didn't want a visit from them. These dreams are creepy.

2/6/05

Home on a Sunday

I left work after and hour and a half tonight. My voice is gone. I left 4 hours early on Friday because of it squeaking out on me. Hopefully, it will be back tomorrow. I just got my schedule changed to something I really like and would hate to get canned on the eve of going over to it. I'll be working from 4 p.m. til 2 a.m. No lunch. Instead my 2 15 minute paid breaks will be taken together at 9 p.m. This is the absolute least amount of time I can spend at this place. Hope it works out.

Sweety and the boys are watching the Superbowl. BB(10) is looking like he's going to cry because his team isn't winning. I told him not to look so down that the team (Eagles, I think) could care less that some kid was upset that they were losing and they would still make millions of dollars even if they lost. It didn't seem to cheer him up. The niece is asleep. She was such a little turkey today.

One wonderful fringe benefit from exercising: increased flexibility. Never before could I actually pat the top of my head with the bottom of my foot. I don't know if this is an accomplishment to be proud of, but it certainly is a new bedroom novelty. Too bad I feel to crappy to show it off again tonight. (boy, that's a lot of "to's", huh?)

I talked to my friend Sherry tonight for the first time in forever. She just got a cell phone and we have the same carrier to it's free for us to talk. Yay! She is a complete nutball, just like me. She's helped me hatch some evil-ass ideas. I love her.

I take the kiddos to school in the morning so I guess I'll go exercise after I drop them off. The "after" pic for my doctor is on the 15th. I only exercised one day last week cause I've been feeling so rotten. I have a doctor's appt on Tuesday so I'll ask him to check my head out if I'm still all snotty and can't talk. Last night Sweety rubbed me down in Vicks vapor rub before we went to sleep. He is too kind. I think it helped a little bit.

Guess I'll go drag myself to the shower and call it a night.

2/2/05

Reminder That I Can't Cook Worth A Damn

I just burnt my homemade chicken noodle soup. Geez louise batman. Actually there's no chicken in it. No chicken because when I made it last time Sylvie(5) kept asking "Why are there lungs in my soup?" And all I could think about was shredded lungs when I was eating even though I knew it was chicken. Just noodles, chicken broth and tons of carrots. Except most of them are stuck on the bottom of the pan. I put the lid on and came in here to catch up on the blogs I read. I thought by putting the lid on the liquid wouldn't evaporate out. The part I managed to salvage is tasty if not more than a little dry.

I managed to wash stinky dog, Tasha yesterday. Only 1049 more times left to lift her in and out of the tub. I think I'm gonna keep track and if she's still alive after time 1049 she's just not getting another bath. She'll have to die funky.

Think I pulled something exercising yesterday. My back hurt so much last night that I couldn't sleep. So I got out of bed in a semi-sleep state with my earplugs still in and ate 3 Ritz crackers dipped in blue cheese dressing, a piece of cold pizza and all of the soda straight from the bottle that I could. My back still hurt and then I had to get up 100 times to pee.

Took a pregnancy test the other day. Thankfully, a big fat negative. I have little worry twinges every now and then even though I'm on the pill. I was eating antibiotics after the surgery and got mixed up one day and took 2 pills then didn't take one the next day. It's reassuring to know that none of my eggs have been violated.

Gonna go eat lunch today with my friend Mary from work. Well, she just got fired but I met her at work. This is the first time in the 3 years that I've been here that I've made enough of a friend to see outside of work. We're gonna meet at the Cracker Barrel. Beans and cornbread and hot sauce - here I come! For some reason, the friends I make are usually a lot older than me. My best friend in TX is like 25 years older than me and I'm not sure about Mary but she has a son that's almost 20. I think I can blame my sore back on my TX friend, Elaine. She told me that she's been doing 150 sit-ups a day so I've been like "Elaine does 150. I can too." While I strain away on the ab roller. I think after about 90 I start to lift myself funny and that hurt my back. Or maybe I just didn't drink enough water yesterday and my kidneys are letting me know.

2/1/05

Ahg! The Mess!

How the house look like a disaster area so quickly? Gee, maybe I should get off this damn box and quit reading about other people's lives and clean mine. Maybe I will later. I'll clean after I go exercise. I'll be so energized I'll just run through the house and make it all shiny.

I took the kiddos to school this morning. One of Sweety's driver's quit and he has to go in and do some of the driving til he finds a replacement. Hope it's soon. He was loading a pallet the other day and told me he dropped some pickles on his arm and was talking about how much it hurt. I thought he meant like a plastic gallon jar of pickles. No, it was a 5 gallon bucket that weighed like 50 lbs. His arm looks like it's been ran over.

I'm so glad I just polished off the last of the Chex Bold N Spicy Mix. Now it can't tempt me any longer.

I kinda overdid it at the gym on Saturday and think I pulled something in my back. DW at work noticed that I was sitting funny and offered to massage it. I haven't decided yet if he is a lecherous old man (I'm leaning toward that one) or just clueless. I politely declined his offer.

Gotta wash the stinky dog today. I had no idea a dog could have so many issues/skin conditions. Too bad she's so young. She's probably got another 10 years at least in her. At 2 wonderfully medicated baths a weeks that's only 1040 more times that I'll have to heave her in and out of the tub. Maybe I'll just go stick her in the freezer and be done with it. (just kidding, e)

Perhaps I'll go and be productive.