10/31/06
More Than You Need To Know
I was digging through my purse earlier and thought I'd share it's contents with the masses.
First Row
Earplugs - Just in case I need to take an emergency nap.
Crazy pills - To keep me from setting anybody on fire.
Thumbtack - You never know when you'll meet a boil that needs lancing.
Broken key ring thingy - It has a heart and "Mom" written on the front. LittleBrother gave it to me for Christmas a couple of years ago and I keep it even though it's broken.
Drink coaster from Chili's - Where it's always happy hour!
Birthstone ring - A gift from a friend. It's broken and I carry it around in case I find somewhere that I want to leave it to be fixed.
Soup spoon - Stolen from my favorite Mexican restaurant in East Texas. I used to use it when I was cooking drugs but I've kicked the habit since finding a better use for my syringes. Now I use it for soup.
Second Row
Eyebrow pencil & lipstick & nail polish - Because you never know who you're gonna run into.
Empty bottle of something & empty birth control packet.
Face powder & magnifying mirror - Because I own the world's greasiest face.
Glitter glue sticks & glitter pen - Have I mentioned that I love glitter?
Nacho Libre pen - I love Nacho.
Cough drops & pennies - I always have pennies. Good for hurling at bums.
Two sulfide (?) pills - My Mom gave them to me in June. She said they'd get rid of my sinus infection. I should probably eat them now.
Row Three
Hairbrush - Stolen from Sweety. It's more fun to use since it's stolen.
Identification & credit/debit cards.
Trash & coupons - I'm bad about carrying receipts around forever.
If I see a website or something that I think I might like to cook for the family in a magazine, I'll rip it out and carry it with me forever. I may never utilize any of the recipes but it makes me feel like I'm doing something for my family by carrying the recipes around.
First Row
Earplugs - Just in case I need to take an emergency nap.
Crazy pills - To keep me from setting anybody on fire.
Thumbtack - You never know when you'll meet a boil that needs lancing.
Broken key ring thingy - It has a heart and "Mom" written on the front. LittleBrother gave it to me for Christmas a couple of years ago and I keep it even though it's broken.
Drink coaster from Chili's - Where it's always happy hour!
Birthstone ring - A gift from a friend. It's broken and I carry it around in case I find somewhere that I want to leave it to be fixed.
Soup spoon - Stolen from my favorite Mexican restaurant in East Texas. I used to use it when I was cooking drugs but I've kicked the habit since finding a better use for my syringes. Now I use it for soup.
Second Row
Eyebrow pencil & lipstick & nail polish - Because you never know who you're gonna run into.
Empty bottle of something & empty birth control packet.
Face powder & magnifying mirror - Because I own the world's greasiest face.
Glitter glue sticks & glitter pen - Have I mentioned that I love glitter?
Nacho Libre pen - I love Nacho.
Cough drops & pennies - I always have pennies. Good for hurling at bums.
Two sulfide (?) pills - My Mom gave them to me in June. She said they'd get rid of my sinus infection. I should probably eat them now.
Row Three
Hairbrush - Stolen from Sweety. It's more fun to use since it's stolen.
Identification & credit/debit cards.
Trash & coupons - I'm bad about carrying receipts around forever.
If I see a website or something that I think I might like to cook for the family in a magazine, I'll rip it out and carry it with me forever. I may never utilize any of the recipes but it makes me feel like I'm doing something for my family by carrying the recipes around.
10/29/06
It Wasn't Me
This weekend a friend and her husband went to a home improvement center to purchase tile. Lots and lots of tile. Slate tile and pretty little sparkly accent tiles, pretty stuff. When they got there the staff and management were very uncooperative and all seemed to have their heads stuck up their asses.
The husband had been to the center earlier that morning and a worker had given him a business card and told him that they'd have a new delivery later. When the husband presented the card to the manager on duty later that day and asked where all the tile was, the manager told him that he must have been there last night and not that morning because the person who gave out the business card didn't work that morning but he did work the night before and there was no new shipment. WTF? Did the manager really think the husband got confused and had really been there the night before and not just 2 hours earlier?
The friend and husband were circling their pallet of tile, waiting (for what seemed like FOREVER) to find someone to check them out. Then my friend saw that some worker (who was no doubt as stupid and as unhelpful as the day is long) had left their cup of coffee out in the open, on top of the counter where you put your stuff to be checked out.
So, she stuck her pointy finger in it (the coffee was still hot!) and swished it around a few times. It made her feel better and she hopes that the coffee belonged to one of the idiots that they had dealt with.
My peep
has been up for 79 days now! So go click it and keep me there. Click with a cheerful heart and click often. Or at least the once or twice a day that the peeps system will count your vote.
Or else my friend will come to your house and stick her finger in your coffee.
The husband had been to the center earlier that morning and a worker had given him a business card and told him that they'd have a new delivery later. When the husband presented the card to the manager on duty later that day and asked where all the tile was, the manager told him that he must have been there last night and not that morning because the person who gave out the business card didn't work that morning but he did work the night before and there was no new shipment. WTF? Did the manager really think the husband got confused and had really been there the night before and not just 2 hours earlier?
The friend and husband were circling their pallet of tile, waiting (for what seemed like FOREVER) to find someone to check them out. Then my friend saw that some worker (who was no doubt as stupid and as unhelpful as the day is long) had left their cup of coffee out in the open, on top of the counter where you put your stuff to be checked out.
So, she stuck her pointy finger in it (the coffee was still hot!) and swished it around a few times. It made her feel better and she hopes that the coffee belonged to one of the idiots that they had dealt with.
My peep
has been up for 79 days now! So go click it and keep me there. Click with a cheerful heart and click often. Or at least the once or twice a day that the peeps system will count your vote.Or else my friend will come to your house and stick her finger in your coffee.
10/27/06
I Feel Dirty
When I was a kid, we had a cat. I spent many evenings with him on my lap while I read books or watched t.v. Sometimes he'd do this little thing where he used his front paws to knead the blanket over my legs and he'd purr loudly while doing it. He really liked it if I gave his head a good hard pet while this was going on. I just saw a video of a cat fucking a blanket and I now realize that's what he was doing. Up until now, I'd always thought he was just doing what cats do to show that they're content.
I am so embarrassed.
Added @ 11:11 p.m.
Here is the video that brought back so many memories.
Thanks for linking this in the comments, Jeni!
I am so embarrassed.
Added @ 11:11 p.m.
Here is the video that brought back so many memories.
Thanks for linking this in the comments, Jeni!
10/26/06
An UnHalloweeny HNT
I know that today was deemed to be a Halloween themed HNT but I'm just not feeling very creative.
So sue me.
I love having a privacy fence! If the neighbors see me outside naked then they are looking pretty hard.
Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!
So sue me.
I love having a privacy fence! If the neighbors see me outside naked then they are looking pretty hard.
Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!
10/25/06
LOL
Shamelessly stolen from The Terrible Secret Of Space, I present
naked cartoon woman on a bicycle running over stuff.
I've spent half an hour wrecking that chick.
naked cartoon woman on a bicycle running over stuff.
I've spent half an hour wrecking that chick.
I'm Hungry
Sweety and I have started walking in the evenings. It's a three mile trip and we've done it the past two nights. I hate it. I hate exercising. But, it is nice to have him to myself for a little while without the sounds of children chattering in the background.
I also told him what he did not need to do to encourage me to eat better or be healthier - Don't say a word about anything that I'm fixing to put in my mouth. If I'm going to eat something that I shouldn't be, well, I already know it's a bad idea. That bugs the hell out of me. It makes me want to hide in the bathroom and eat a sack of cheeseburgers.
Despite the trouble we had initially at the YMCA getting the boys signed up for football, it is now done. We went up there yesterday and spoke with them again and they decided to not hold it against the boys that their mom still owes the YMCA money. We also decided to get a family membership there. I'm pretty sure I'll be more inclined to exercise if Sweety drags me up there as opposed to being left to do it on my own. I'm okay with exercising once I start doing it. It's just an almighty trial to actually get dressed and leave the house for it.
I just ran the spell-check and it hung up on "cheeseburgers". Now I want one.
I also told him what he did not need to do to encourage me to eat better or be healthier - Don't say a word about anything that I'm fixing to put in my mouth. If I'm going to eat something that I shouldn't be, well, I already know it's a bad idea. That bugs the hell out of me. It makes me want to hide in the bathroom and eat a sack of cheeseburgers.
Despite the trouble we had initially at the YMCA getting the boys signed up for football, it is now done. We went up there yesterday and spoke with them again and they decided to not hold it against the boys that their mom still owes the YMCA money. We also decided to get a family membership there. I'm pretty sure I'll be more inclined to exercise if Sweety drags me up there as opposed to being left to do it on my own. I'm okay with exercising once I start doing it. It's just an almighty trial to actually get dressed and leave the house for it.
I just ran the spell-check and it hung up on "cheeseburgers". Now I want one.
10-Q!
A big "Thanks!" to everyone that chimed in on yesterday's post, either via a comment or e-mail!
We've been discussing the whole procreation thing and figure we'll probably do it someday. What we didn't realize was that we're on totally different pages when it comes to how many.
We've been discussing the whole procreation thing and figure we'll probably do it someday. What we didn't realize was that we're on totally different pages when it comes to how many.
10/24/06
One Or Two Or Ten?
Anyone out there an only child? Do you feel like you would've liked it better with a sibling?
How 'bout anyone that only has one kid? Planning on having any more? Do you think your kid needs (or doesn't need) to have a sibling? Maybe you can't have any more than one kid....do you wish you could?
Or maybe you have more than one and wish you'd stopped there?
And since this is a really personal thing, I'd welcome any responses or emails - even anonymous ones!
We are at a Mexican Standoff at Casa de Chickie.
How 'bout anyone that only has one kid? Planning on having any more? Do you think your kid needs (or doesn't need) to have a sibling? Maybe you can't have any more than one kid....do you wish you could?
Or maybe you have more than one and wish you'd stopped there?
And since this is a really personal thing, I'd welcome any responses or emails - even anonymous ones!
We are at a Mexican Standoff at Casa de Chickie.
More Of The Canines
Like heat-seeking missiles, they know just where to go.
And another of Tiny. She's a diva and demanded a solo shot.
And another of Tiny. She's a diva and demanded a solo shot.
10/23/06
10/21/06
Does A Fat Kid Like Cake?
Well, this one isn't too crazy about it but I am fond of other things.
This was what was gathered today on my grocery store trip. I so should not go there when I'm hungry! I did manage to get all of the supplies needed to make Jalapeno popcorn. The Phosgene Kid published his recipe awhile back and I've been meaning to try it. It is good! Reeeeally good.
Is anyone else watching Dexter on Showtime? By day this guy is a forensics pathologist and his hobby is serial killing other serial killers. I just got into it and am watching all of the episodes. Rather interesting.
Just for the record - I love rhetorical questions. Those are the best! It just makes me all warm and squishy inside when I'm asked a question with an oh-so-obvious answer. Makes me feel smart!
This was what was gathered today on my grocery store trip. I so should not go there when I'm hungry! I did manage to get all of the supplies needed to make Jalapeno popcorn. The Phosgene Kid published his recipe awhile back and I've been meaning to try it. It is good! Reeeeally good.
Is anyone else watching Dexter on Showtime? By day this guy is a forensics pathologist and his hobby is serial killing other serial killers. I just got into it and am watching all of the episodes. Rather interesting.
Just for the record - I love rhetorical questions. Those are the best! It just makes me all warm and squishy inside when I'm asked a question with an oh-so-obvious answer. Makes me feel smart!
10/19/06
Being Sneaky
I'm home and the canines don't know it. I've been really quiet and they think I'm Sweety so they aren't going all bonkers to be let out of the bedroom.
Ha! I'm fooling them!
Sweety mentioned the other day that I don't really love my dogs since I sometimes hide from them. I say that we all need a break sometime.
You cannot nick any private areas with a razor and then try to put a bandaid on it. It just looks too ridiculous.
I am so ready for this weekend to get here! It'll be so nice to not go to work on Saturday. I'm planning on staying home and healing the desktop computer. It's been all whacked out for many moons now and I think I accidentally fixed it last night. There is still some slight tweaking to be done. My plan is to get it fixed and give it to the boys. If they do anything to mess it up then that's just too damn bad. Children's little grubby mitts will never touch the laptop keypad ever again! It was just too much of a bitch getting it straightened out the other day.
Something new that I'm going to try this Saturday: Hypnotizing lizards. I read somewhere that you can rub their bellies and they'll get really still and won't run away from you. In the article I read, the girl who did this to the lizards dressed them up in tiny doll clothes once they were immobile. That sounds like fun to me. This is something that I'll need to do at home alone because I can only imagine the look on Sweety's face if he caught me molesting lizards.
Heh, the dogs still don't know that I'm home! I'm going to (very quietly) find some dinner.
But before you go, do me a favor and click on my little photo in the sidebar. Help keep my peep alive!
It's 2 a.m. and the desktop computer is up and running! Yay me!
Ha! I'm fooling them!
Sweety mentioned the other day that I don't really love my dogs since I sometimes hide from them. I say that we all need a break sometime.
You cannot nick any private areas with a razor and then try to put a bandaid on it. It just looks too ridiculous.
I am so ready for this weekend to get here! It'll be so nice to not go to work on Saturday. I'm planning on staying home and healing the desktop computer. It's been all whacked out for many moons now and I think I accidentally fixed it last night. There is still some slight tweaking to be done. My plan is to get it fixed and give it to the boys. If they do anything to mess it up then that's just too damn bad. Children's little grubby mitts will never touch the laptop keypad ever again! It was just too much of a bitch getting it straightened out the other day.
Something new that I'm going to try this Saturday: Hypnotizing lizards. I read somewhere that you can rub their bellies and they'll get really still and won't run away from you. In the article I read, the girl who did this to the lizards dressed them up in tiny doll clothes once they were immobile. That sounds like fun to me. This is something that I'll need to do at home alone because I can only imagine the look on Sweety's face if he caught me molesting lizards.
Heh, the dogs still don't know that I'm home! I'm going to (very quietly) find some dinner.
But before you go, do me a favor and click on my little photo in the sidebar. Help keep my peep alive!
It's 2 a.m. and the desktop computer is up and running! Yay me!
HHNT!
I'm pretty sure that Sweety did something very uncouth in order for me to make such a face.
I love him even when he's being disgusting.
Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!
I love him even when he's being disgusting.
Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!
10/18/06
I've Got Nothing
I spent at least 5 hours on the phone yesterday with technical support in India trying to get my laptop to work properly. The optical drive wasn't being picked up for some reason so I couldn't download any software or watch dvds.
My call was disconnected 4 times. Some crackhead told me that I needed to take my computer apart and was instructing me on how to do it over the phone. I didn't have the right kind of screwdriver so I had to stop in the middle of it all and go to the hardware store for the correct tool and then call stupidass tech support back.
The same crackhead answers my call and after an hour decides that I need to mail the laptop in for repair. Crackhead then puts me on hold to transfer me to someone who will give me instructions for mailing the laptop back in and disconnects me after I've been on hold for 20 minutes. Yay! I love disconnections!
I call back and speak to someone that seems to know their ass from a hole in ground and am given instructions on how to reformat (in a different manner than is given in my handy, dandy, HP guidebook). And behold! It works!
And I swear, if something happens to fuck it up again, I will kill and eat every living thing under my roof. Then I'll throw the computer in the pool.
Today has been spent hiding in the dark with a fantastical sinus headache. Yay! I love headaches! My noggin has just started feeling better. Thank goodness.
This pretty much sums it up for me:
Except for glitter. I love glitter.
My call was disconnected 4 times. Some crackhead told me that I needed to take my computer apart and was instructing me on how to do it over the phone. I didn't have the right kind of screwdriver so I had to stop in the middle of it all and go to the hardware store for the correct tool and then call stupidass tech support back.
The same crackhead answers my call and after an hour decides that I need to mail the laptop in for repair. Crackhead then puts me on hold to transfer me to someone who will give me instructions for mailing the laptop back in and disconnects me after I've been on hold for 20 minutes. Yay! I love disconnections!
I call back and speak to someone that seems to know their ass from a hole in ground and am given instructions on how to reformat (in a different manner than is given in my handy, dandy, HP guidebook). And behold! It works!
And I swear, if something happens to fuck it up again, I will kill and eat every living thing under my roof. Then I'll throw the computer in the pool.
Today has been spent hiding in the dark with a fantastical sinus headache. Yay! I love headaches! My noggin has just started feeling better. Thank goodness.
This pretty much sums it up for me:
Except for glitter. I love glitter.
10/17/06
Wheee! No Work For Me Today!
Can you tell that I'm pleased that I'm off today? It's been an interesting couple of days in customer service land and I'm glad to be getting a break. I need to work up some mental stamina before Thursday and get prepared to let any yelling or cursing at me roll off of my back. Sometimes, people acting all crazy doesn't bother me but sometimes it does. The past couple of days have been those kind where it's starting to get to me.
Tiny dog just wouldn't adjust to her boots so I returned them. I think she just didn't understand how badass she looked in them. Mental note to self: Start the next dog off wearing shoes early. Check.
I can't wait for Halloween to get here! It's always been one of my favorite holidays and since acquiring kids it is my favorite. I love dressing them up. With the way their days at their mom's fall and my work schedule, I've never been able to take them out on Halloween. They'd been bugging me to dress up and go trick-or-treating with them and I told them no because I thought it was kind of sneaky for an adult to do it. But I got to thinking about it and decided, "What the hell? At some point they won't even want to be seen with me! I'll take advantage of this and go get me some candy!" So all 3 of us will don our masks on the 31st and make the rounds. I can't wait!
In August, I mentioned that I'd stopped gnawing on my nails. I fell off the wagon this weekend. I was at work and one of them caught on something and I didn't have a file to smooth it down with. By the end of the day, I'd managed to nibble them all down to bloody little stumps. Dammit. I'm gonna groom them up today and start over.
Hey, ladies - did you know that when a man coughs his testicles jump? I wasn't aware of this and happened to see the phenomenon last night when Sweety was getting ready for bed. So then I cornered him and made him cough different kinds of coughs for me for a good ten minutes. Very interesting and amusing.
Tiny dog just wouldn't adjust to her boots so I returned them. I think she just didn't understand how badass she looked in them. Mental note to self: Start the next dog off wearing shoes early. Check.
I can't wait for Halloween to get here! It's always been one of my favorite holidays and since acquiring kids it is my favorite. I love dressing them up. With the way their days at their mom's fall and my work schedule, I've never been able to take them out on Halloween. They'd been bugging me to dress up and go trick-or-treating with them and I told them no because I thought it was kind of sneaky for an adult to do it. But I got to thinking about it and decided, "What the hell? At some point they won't even want to be seen with me! I'll take advantage of this and go get me some candy!" So all 3 of us will don our masks on the 31st and make the rounds. I can't wait!
In August, I mentioned that I'd stopped gnawing on my nails. I fell off the wagon this weekend. I was at work and one of them caught on something and I didn't have a file to smooth it down with. By the end of the day, I'd managed to nibble them all down to bloody little stumps. Dammit. I'm gonna groom them up today and start over.
Hey, ladies - did you know that when a man coughs his testicles jump? I wasn't aware of this and happened to see the phenomenon last night when Sweety was getting ready for bed. So then I cornered him and made him cough different kinds of coughs for me for a good ten minutes. Very interesting and amusing.
10/14/06
Sometimes All I Can Do Is Laugh
BigBrother is a football fanatic. He's been bugging Sweety about wanting to play football for about the past four years. This year, it was decided that BB and LB would get to play in the fall flag football league. They brought home a flyer about it a few weeks ago and have gotten all revved up and excited about finally getting to play.
To play you have to sign up at the YMCA and today we all trekked up there to get the boys signed up and to pay the initiation fees.
When we got to the Y the guy behind the counter asks the boys what their names are and guess what comes up when he runs their names in the computer? That their cuntofamother owes the YMCA a bit of money and the boys can't play football until her debt is squared away because they were members on her account. BB almost died from embarrassment as the guy explained why they couldn't join. Sweety asked if we could buy a monthly membership to the Y so the boys could join under our membership and play. Someone from the YMCA is supposed to call Sweety next week and let him know.
To put it mildy, the mood was quite a bit more somber leaving the place than it was going to it.
Tiny dog got some snazzy cowboy boots today but she refuses to wear them. Ungrateful bitch.
* no tiny dogs were harmed during the creation of this blog post *
To play you have to sign up at the YMCA and today we all trekked up there to get the boys signed up and to pay the initiation fees.
When we got to the Y the guy behind the counter asks the boys what their names are and guess what comes up when he runs their names in the computer? That their cuntofamother owes the YMCA a bit of money and the boys can't play football until her debt is squared away because they were members on her account. BB almost died from embarrassment as the guy explained why they couldn't join. Sweety asked if we could buy a monthly membership to the Y so the boys could join under our membership and play. Someone from the YMCA is supposed to call Sweety next week and let him know.
To put it mildy, the mood was quite a bit more somber leaving the place than it was going to it.
Tiny dog got some snazzy cowboy boots today but she refuses to wear them. Ungrateful bitch.
10/13/06
What A Fine Start
The phone rings early this morning. It's for Sweety. He has to go in early.
The phone rings after he's left. It's Sweety asking me to get the boys from their mother's house because her car is dead and the car that she was going to borrow today died last night. Why, oh why, didn't she call last freaking night about this? Instead of at the last damn minute?
As I'm dropping LittleBrother off at school I learn that he didn't eat breakfast at his mother's and it's too close to class starting for him to go to the cafeteria for breakfast. WTF? Shouldn't you insist that your 9 year old eat breakfast? Start his day off right and all that shit?
Okay. I'm going to stop with all that. My eye is twitchy.
Patti_Cake mentioned in the chickpea post that it was fun to write chickpea. It certainly is! Chickpea! Chickpea! Chickpea!
Here are some of my favorite words:
toe
coupon pronounced "coo-pon" NOT "q-pon"
sofa
wombat
peek! always said as an exclamation
chickpea
bug
The wombat took a peek at me in my tee pee! Isn't that fun to say?
For the record, this is the second damn time typing this up. I accidentally powered of my computer after the first run.
Off to work. Woo hoo!
Happy Friday the 13th!
The phone rings after he's left. It's Sweety asking me to get the boys from their mother's house because her car is dead and the car that she was going to borrow today died last night. Why, oh why, didn't she call last freaking night about this? Instead of at the last damn minute?
As I'm dropping LittleBrother off at school I learn that he didn't eat breakfast at his mother's and it's too close to class starting for him to go to the cafeteria for breakfast. WTF? Shouldn't you insist that your 9 year old eat breakfast? Start his day off right and all that shit?
Okay. I'm going to stop with all that. My eye is twitchy.
Patti_Cake mentioned in the chickpea post that it was fun to write chickpea. It certainly is! Chickpea! Chickpea! Chickpea!
Here are some of my favorite words:
toe
coupon pronounced "coo-pon" NOT "q-pon"
sofa
wombat
peek! always said as an exclamation
chickpea
bug
The wombat took a peek at me in my tee pee! Isn't that fun to say?
For the record, this is the second damn time typing this up. I accidentally powered of my computer after the first run.
Off to work. Woo hoo!
Happy Friday the 13th!
Hey, Kids!
Do you know what time it is?
It's time for "I was too damn lazy to take a half nekkid photo!" time! Woo hoo!
You see that cartoon on the sidebar to the right? The baby Jason with the severed head? Go ahead, click on it. Maybe some of you caught that photo when I had it up last Halloween. Maybe you didn't. Either way, it's all I've got to offer today!
Go see Osbasso if you'd like to see some people in some new half nekkidity.
Have a happy Thursday!
It's time for "I was too damn lazy to take a half nekkid photo!" time! Woo hoo!
You see that cartoon on the sidebar to the right? The baby Jason with the severed head? Go ahead, click on it. Maybe some of you caught that photo when I had it up last Halloween. Maybe you didn't. Either way, it's all I've got to offer today!
Go see Osbasso if you'd like to see some people in some new half nekkidity.
Have a happy Thursday!
10/11/06
Phwew!
It'd been so long since my house had been really cleaned that it actually cried tears of joy as I was dusting today. I'd totally forgotten how nice it was to sit on the couch and look at stuff on this useless box while the house was in order. Have you ever had something (e.g., a dusty ass house) that was just so far behind that you didn't even know where or how to start? That's kinda what the homestead had been like. No mold growing on anything. Just everything out of place and breeding dust bunnies.
Sweety was kind enough to bring dinner home so all I've gotta do is heat it up. Yay! Some kind of Greek chicken and rice. Tasty stuff. And hummus. I love hummus. I love chickpeas too. So small and cute.
Wow, I just read what I just wrote and had an out of body experience. Like "holy shit, what a weirdo!" Who extols the perfect dainty goodness of the fucking chickpea?
I feel really good today. For about the past month or so I've been pretty down in the dumps but today seems good! Who cares if I'm giving chickpeas a verbal blowjob? It's better than crying.
Sweety was kind enough to bring dinner home so all I've gotta do is heat it up. Yay! Some kind of Greek chicken and rice. Tasty stuff. And hummus. I love hummus. I love chickpeas too. So small and cute.
Wow, I just read what I just wrote and had an out of body experience. Like "holy shit, what a weirdo!" Who extols the perfect dainty goodness of the fucking chickpea?
I feel really good today. For about the past month or so I've been pretty down in the dumps but today seems good! Who cares if I'm giving chickpeas a verbal blowjob? It's better than crying.
I'm Rambling
I just got finished bleaching my teeth with one of those at-home things (you make a mold of your teeth and then wear the mold with the bleach in it for 10 minutes) and my mouth feels all funky. And my teeth look splotchy. The box said that might happen but that it should go away. This is my last effort at doing it myself before going to the dentist's office and having them laser my teeth until they look like toilet-bowl-white-chicklets. Okay, maybe I don't want them blindingly white but you get the picture.
I swear, if Stinky dog doesn't quit noisily licking her coochie, I will SCREEEEAM! Damn dog, knock it off. I know it's clean! I just washed it for you last night!
Have you ever had things that you knew that needed to be done or changed and just kept putting them off? I am so there. I really need to make some adjustments with myself or else I'm afraid that I'll end up old and alone with just my 82 chihuahuas for company.
I am off to clean the pad (REALLY! I am! Sweety, if you're reading this, the house around you should be clean!) and I'd like to leave you with this funny that I found in my mailbox.
That just really tickled me.
I swear, if Stinky dog doesn't quit noisily licking her coochie, I will SCREEEEAM! Damn dog, knock it off. I know it's clean! I just washed it for you last night!
Have you ever had things that you knew that needed to be done or changed and just kept putting them off? I am so there. I really need to make some adjustments with myself or else I'm afraid that I'll end up old and alone with just my 82 chihuahuas for company.
I am off to clean the pad (REALLY! I am! Sweety, if you're reading this, the house around you should be clean!) and I'd like to leave you with this funny that I found in my mailbox.
During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.
What about you Peter, how would you say it?"
Peter said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"
"I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner."
That just really tickled me.
10/10/06
Just Grouching
The ExWife told Sweety that her mother (who was living with her) is moving. Because of this EW needs to get another cell phone (she doesn't have a land line) so that when she leaves BigBrother at home to watch his brothers he'll have one. The problem? It'll cost her a deposit to get him a phone on her plan and BB had mentioned to her that maybe we'd get him one on our plan and there'd be no deposit. So she wanted to know if we were getting him a phone and then she wouldn't have to worry about it. Actually, there's been no plan of getting BB a phone. We've told him that he'll get one "someday". Someday being when he starts with extracurricular activities after school. We don't want to add him onto our phone plan and pay a monthly fee when the phone won't be used too much right now.
Part of me says "You should be nice and go ahead and get him the phone to be used over there since you can afford it and she can't." And the other part of me says "She needs to buy her own shit! Or maybe just not leave BB at home alone with 2 smaller kids! Huh, how about that? Maybe she should take those kids that she lives for everydamnwhere and then she won't have to worry about what they are doing!"
While I'm being a petty bitch, let me tell you about something else.
LittleBrother came bouncing up to me the other day waving this book around that he wanted to read to me. Turns out, he had to write a story for art class and illustrate it in a book. The title of the story was Why Is My Family So Big? and he drew everybody in his family...except for me. I just kept my glass smile on and oohed and ahhed over his artwork and good spelling and told him that he did a great job. Then I cried in the freaking bathroom. I guess he'd been working on it for a few days and when he first showed it to Sweety he asked Sweety if it was okay that I wasn't in it. Sweety told him to do whatever he wanted because it was his book. When Sweety found out that I'd been presented the book he wanted to know if it hurt my feelings. No shit, Sherlock.
Sometimes I hate being married to someone that has an exwife and kids. Don't get me wrong - I love the boys to pieces but it is so freaking hard sometimes! I know there are some folks out there genuinely seem to get along with an exspouse and I would love to be able to do that. I think it would make me a happier person. Or trying to be totally nice would drive me the last half mile to crazy.
Part of me says "You should be nice and go ahead and get him the phone to be used over there since you can afford it and she can't." And the other part of me says "She needs to buy her own shit! Or maybe just not leave BB at home alone with 2 smaller kids! Huh, how about that? Maybe she should take those kids that she lives for everydamnwhere and then she won't have to worry about what they are doing!"
While I'm being a petty bitch, let me tell you about something else.
LittleBrother came bouncing up to me the other day waving this book around that he wanted to read to me. Turns out, he had to write a story for art class and illustrate it in a book. The title of the story was Why Is My Family So Big? and he drew everybody in his family...except for me. I just kept my glass smile on and oohed and ahhed over his artwork and good spelling and told him that he did a great job. Then I cried in the freaking bathroom. I guess he'd been working on it for a few days and when he first showed it to Sweety he asked Sweety if it was okay that I wasn't in it. Sweety told him to do whatever he wanted because it was his book. When Sweety found out that I'd been presented the book he wanted to know if it hurt my feelings. No shit, Sherlock.
Sometimes I hate being married to someone that has an exwife and kids. Don't get me wrong - I love the boys to pieces but it is so freaking hard sometimes! I know there are some folks out there genuinely seem to get along with an exspouse and I would love to be able to do that. I think it would make me a happier person. Or trying to be totally nice would drive me the last half mile to crazy.
10/7/06
A Confession
I have joined the dark side.
I have a MySpace page.
Why do I feel like such a dork? There are gobs of people on there. We can't all be dorks. I had to set up an account to snoop on the site and figured that I may as well make a page too. I'm too freaking picky to be happy with the default layout and had to find a new one and then tweak it some more til I was satisfied. I entered in what high school I graduated from and have already exchanged emails with people that I hadn't seen in over 10 years. It's kind of neat to see how people turned out.
BigBrother and I went on a tiny cruise today. (Sweety's bowling so I borrowed BB from his mom for a few hours.) It wasn't on the high seas but we were floating on water so that makes it a cruise, right? BB had never been on a boat before and he really liked it. We went with a friend of mine's church group and they did some drawing for prizes using our ticket stubs. They asked BB to pick out one of the names and he pulled out his own name and won a picture frame. Someone else drew my name out and I won a candle. We've decided that today is our lucky day and I'm getting a lottery ticket. I hope the streak continues!
Afterwards we went and watched Invincible. A nice, family friendly show. No cursing and no sex - I wasn't embarassed to be sitting next to BB during any of the scenes and that's always a plus!
The dogs that we were babysitting are gone! Yay! No more pissy boy dogs! The experience did show me that Tiny dog would either drop dead from fury or commit suicide if I ever got another little dog. One night I had the other chihuahua on the couch with me and Tiny was going beserk. I've also noticed that if Stinky dog is by me and I'm petting her head, as soon as I'm done, Tiny comes over and humps the hell out of her head. If I'm petting Stinky's back it's the same story. I've created a Tiny dog monster.
I have a MySpace page.
Why do I feel like such a dork? There are gobs of people on there. We can't all be dorks. I had to set up an account to snoop on the site and figured that I may as well make a page too. I'm too freaking picky to be happy with the default layout and had to find a new one and then tweak it some more til I was satisfied. I entered in what high school I graduated from and have already exchanged emails with people that I hadn't seen in over 10 years. It's kind of neat to see how people turned out.
BigBrother and I went on a tiny cruise today. (Sweety's bowling so I borrowed BB from his mom for a few hours.) It wasn't on the high seas but we were floating on water so that makes it a cruise, right? BB had never been on a boat before and he really liked it. We went with a friend of mine's church group and they did some drawing for prizes using our ticket stubs. They asked BB to pick out one of the names and he pulled out his own name and won a picture frame. Someone else drew my name out and I won a candle. We've decided that today is our lucky day and I'm getting a lottery ticket. I hope the streak continues!
Afterwards we went and watched Invincible. A nice, family friendly show. No cursing and no sex - I wasn't embarassed to be sitting next to BB during any of the scenes and that's always a plus!
The dogs that we were babysitting are gone! Yay! No more pissy boy dogs! The experience did show me that Tiny dog would either drop dead from fury or commit suicide if I ever got another little dog. One night I had the other chihuahua on the couch with me and Tiny was going beserk. I've also noticed that if Stinky dog is by me and I'm petting her head, as soon as I'm done, Tiny comes over and humps the hell out of her head. If I'm petting Stinky's back it's the same story. I've created a Tiny dog monster.
10/5/06
Nekkid Nekkid - No Halves Here!
To make up for my lack of nekkidness last week, I went all out this week.
And while you're clicking - you could give my photo at the top of the sidebar a tap too!
I don't have to work today so it is an especially Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!
And while you're clicking - you could give my photo at the top of the sidebar a tap too!
I don't have to work today so it is an especially Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!
10/3/06
I Like Mine More!
So the little dog we're watching is an escape artist and the big dog is just a pissy, nasty, whiny canine. When he was dropped off the first thing he did was start peeing on the wall. Instead of fussing at him for it, his owner (BIL) gave him a thumbs up and said something along the lines of "good dog! show 'em who's the boss!" WTF? Gee, thanks, buddy! The dog pees on EVERYTHING. As a result, he'll be spending his entire visit on the porch. I despise him. I can't help but tell him to go to hell every time I pass the window to the porch. I never thought I could dislike an animal on such a personal level. The little dog is starting to come out of the crate where he's been hiding since Friday night. I'm going to try and get him to come in the house tonight but I don't know if he'll enjoy it. He's so skittish. I think he's missing his "mama" something fierce.
Being around these two defective dogs really makes me appreciate mine. Sure Tiny Dog eats walls, but at least she's friendly! And I noticed that the girl dogs' fur is softer than the boy dogs' fur. I wonder if that has something to do with hormones or what? Or is that just another sign of my dogs' perfection?
10/2/06
Groggy Monday
Make sure you check to see if the outside garage door is open before you stroll naked into the garage to get clothes out of the dryer.
If you eat Reese Puffs cereal and garlic hummus on crackers for breakfast, when you burp it tastes like marshmallows.
I must start going to bed earlier.
Edited one minute after publishing -
That insane shrieking that any of you may have just heard? That was me.
While putting my trousers on I noticed that something was in my pocket. I reached in an drew out a nice crunchy palmetto bug. I think that I just wet myself.
I am so very awake now.
If you eat Reese Puffs cereal and garlic hummus on crackers for breakfast, when you burp it tastes like marshmallows.
I must start going to bed earlier.
Edited one minute after publishing -
That insane shrieking that any of you may have just heard? That was me.
While putting my trousers on I noticed that something was in my pocket. I reached in an drew out a nice crunchy palmetto bug. I think that I just wet myself.
I am so very awake now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)