Sweety has resorted to paying me to clean the house. Now, it hasn't been pig-styish but not all shiny sparkly. Part of my check goes into his account and he suggested the other day that I give him $200 less a month and just keep the house shiny. And I jumped on that idea like white on rice.
Yesterday I got motivated and cleaned everywhere and today I get to sit around and read a book while the air smells like furniture polish. This is a win-win situation.
I wonder what else I could stop doing until he offers money for it?
4/26/06
The Truth
I cleaned the house yesterday. Cleaning also involved changing Pete's water. After putting him back in his fishbowl - He swam furiously around in a circle and launched himself out of the bowl and onto the kitchen table (I had to put something over the top of the bowl to keep him from jumping out again). I must confess that I washed his rocks with dish soap but I feel that IN NO WAY contributed to his demise. It was just his time to go. In his honor last night I drank an extra couple of vodka & orange juices and my brain hurts too much for sleep right now.
Sweety: I have changed Pete's water many times before in the same manner. Do not dare come to me and say that I killed the fish.
Sweety: I have changed Pete's water many times before in the same manner. Do not dare come to me and say that I killed the fish.
4/25/06
4/24/06
Another ExWife Grouch
Sweety gets a call yesterday from EW because her pre-schooler has fallen off the couch and she doesn't know if he needs to go to the emergency room. Since Sweety was trained as an EMT about 3 years ago, she feels he has the medical knowledge neccessary to diagnose her sprog over the phone.
He tells her he can't tell her what to do and if she thinks the kid needs to go to the hospital then she needs to take him.
Two hours later...
The phone rings again and the kid is loaded in an ambulance and is freaking out about going to the hospital (he associates hospitals with his deceased father. he thinks since he dad didn't come home from the hospital that he won't be coming back either.) so she wants LB(9) and BB(11) to talk to him and reassure him that he'll be okay. WTF? Isn't it her job to reassure her kid? Not his 9 and 11 year old brothers?
Of course the phone call totally freaked out the boys. LB especially went bonkers, thinking that his little brother was at death's door.
The kid was wrestling with one of his stuffed animals and dove off the couch with it while doing some kind of wrestling move and landed on his head. He cried for about 2 hours until the EW decided to call an ambulance. It turns out he sprained his neck.
You know what I want? I want her to stop calling my husband over stuff that is none of his concern. I'm thinking she must not have a boyfriend right now so that's why she's calling Sweety. Awhile back she was calling him with stupid questions and he stopped answering when she'd call if the boys were with us - he figured if the boys are with us and alive that whatever she has to say can go to voicemail. Guess that's what he'll start doing again.
He tells her he can't tell her what to do and if she thinks the kid needs to go to the hospital then she needs to take him.
Two hours later...
The phone rings again and the kid is loaded in an ambulance and is freaking out about going to the hospital (he associates hospitals with his deceased father. he thinks since he dad didn't come home from the hospital that he won't be coming back either.) so she wants LB(9) and BB(11) to talk to him and reassure him that he'll be okay. WTF? Isn't it her job to reassure her kid? Not his 9 and 11 year old brothers?
Of course the phone call totally freaked out the boys. LB especially went bonkers, thinking that his little brother was at death's door.
The kid was wrestling with one of his stuffed animals and dove off the couch with it while doing some kind of wrestling move and landed on his head. He cried for about 2 hours until the EW decided to call an ambulance. It turns out he sprained his neck.
You know what I want? I want her to stop calling my husband over stuff that is none of his concern. I'm thinking she must not have a boyfriend right now so that's why she's calling Sweety. Awhile back she was calling him with stupid questions and he stopped answering when she'd call if the boys were with us - he figured if the boys are with us and alive that whatever she has to say can go to voicemail. Guess that's what he'll start doing again.
The Canines
Sometimes there is so much cuteness in the air that it smothers me.
And if you haven't seen Tiny wearing Sweety's watch - you've gotta check it out.
It's my favorite picture of her.
And if you haven't seen Tiny wearing Sweety's watch - you've gotta check it out.
It's my favorite picture of her.
4/22/06
It All Works Out In The End
"Hey, I got your email. So your exhusband really died, huh?"
"Yes. He had a heart attack last weekend and his housekeeper didn't find him til Thursday."
"That's too bad. He had dogs didn't he?"
"Yeah, three."
"Poor dogs. What's going to happen to them?"
"I think someone took them."
"Sooooo...Did they EAT his body?"
"Actually, they did."
"Bwhahahahahahaha! Heh, that was the first thing that came to my mind when I read your email."
"When I found out about it I knew it would please you."
Note: My exhusband is not the dearly departed.
"Yes. He had a heart attack last weekend and his housekeeper didn't find him til Thursday."
"That's too bad. He had dogs didn't he?"
"Yeah, three."
"Poor dogs. What's going to happen to them?"
"I think someone took them."
"Sooooo...Did they EAT his body?"
"Actually, they did."
"Bwhahahahahahaha! Heh, that was the first thing that came to my mind when I read your email."
"When I found out about it I knew it would please you."
Note: My exhusband is not the dearly departed.
4/20/06
Happy Thursday!
No half nekkid today. I'm too pooped to pop.
Went on a field trip today to the beach with Little Brother. Walked about 3 miles in the sand while wearing sandals that were not good for that sort of thing. They have suede-type stuff on the inside and sand got stuck on the bottom where my feet were rubbing. It was like walking on an emery board. Though they are sore as hell, the bottom of my feet are nice and smooth now.
And in order to be off today I had to work for someone else yesterday. I worked from 6 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. yesterday. I do not like going to work when the stars are still out. Actually, I never like going to work but especially not at 5 in the morning.
I'm going to do myself a favor and not go bowling with Sweety tonight. I don't want to accidentally have a repeat of last week's trip there.
I've gotta go take a nap.
Went on a field trip today to the beach with Little Brother. Walked about 3 miles in the sand while wearing sandals that were not good for that sort of thing. They have suede-type stuff on the inside and sand got stuck on the bottom where my feet were rubbing. It was like walking on an emery board. Though they are sore as hell, the bottom of my feet are nice and smooth now.
And in order to be off today I had to work for someone else yesterday. I worked from 6 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. yesterday. I do not like going to work when the stars are still out. Actually, I never like going to work but especially not at 5 in the morning.
I'm going to do myself a favor and not go bowling with Sweety tonight. I don't want to accidentally have a repeat of last week's trip there.
I've gotta go take a nap.
4/18/06
Myth Debunked
Setting: In the car. Just picked the sprogs up from school.
Me: Did you have a good Easter? Get a lot of eggs?
Big Brother (11): No. We didn't hunt eggs...
Little Brother (9): The Easter bunny forgot to hide them. He left them in our baskets where we'd put them before bed! That stunk! We didn't get to look for them! Stupid Easter bunny.
BB: The Easter bunny didn't hide them because ants would eat them, I think.
Me: Oh, well that stinks. But at least you had some eggs.
LB: I know who the Easter bunny is.
Me: Really?
LB: It was our mom.
Me: You sure are one smart kid.
LB (shouting with glee): Ha! BB, I told you so! I knew it!
BB: No it isn't. It wasn't mom.
LB: Anna just said so! She agreed with me!
Me to BB: Sorry, I thought from the way he asked that ya'll had a big talk about it at your mom's.
BB: No.
I think the reason BB wanted LB to continue believing in the Easter bunny is so they could continue blaming the Easter bunny and not their mom for forgetting to hide their eggs. Stupid bint.
Me: Did you have a good Easter? Get a lot of eggs?
Big Brother (11): No. We didn't hunt eggs...
Little Brother (9): The Easter bunny forgot to hide them. He left them in our baskets where we'd put them before bed! That stunk! We didn't get to look for them! Stupid Easter bunny.
BB: The Easter bunny didn't hide them because ants would eat them, I think.
Me: Oh, well that stinks. But at least you had some eggs.
LB: I know who the Easter bunny is.
Me: Really?
LB: It was our mom.
Me: You sure are one smart kid.
LB (shouting with glee): Ha! BB, I told you so! I knew it!
BB: No it isn't. It wasn't mom.
LB: Anna just said so! She agreed with me!
Me to BB: Sorry, I thought from the way he asked that ya'll had a big talk about it at your mom's.
BB: No.
I think the reason BB wanted LB to continue believing in the Easter bunny is so they could continue blaming the Easter bunny and not their mom for forgetting to hide their eggs. Stupid bint.
4/17/06
I'm A Nerd & That's Okay
About 10 years ago, I saw one episode of show on the Science Channel and I loved it - it was done with marionettes and was set underwater and there was a mute character in it. (Something about a mute puppet...that really made me decide that the show kicked ass.) I was never able to find out the name of the show and have spent the last 10 years asking anybody I converse with if they know the name of the show. They either look at me like I'm nuts or just say no. I was wracking my brain the other night, trying to find it and all of my google searches were leading me nowhere but then I got the bright idea to drop Scotty Ice a line and ask him if he'd heard of it.
And angels cried happy tears for me when his guess of Thunderbirds led to the correct show: Stingray. A great big "Thanks, Scotty!" for helping me out with this. I thought I was gonna die without seeing this fantastic little show ever again.
Guess who has ordered the whole series for cheap cheap off of Amazon.com?
I am so pleased. I can't wait for it to get here.
And angels cried happy tears for me when his guess of Thunderbirds led to the correct show: Stingray. A great big "Thanks, Scotty!" for helping me out with this. I thought I was gonna die without seeing this fantastic little show ever again.
Guess who has ordered the whole series for cheap cheap off of Amazon.com?
I am so pleased. I can't wait for it to get here.
Self Defense 101
A snarling, snapping chihuahua is an effective weapon when aimed at a naked man's crotch.
4/15/06
Happy Birthday, Bint!
The boys won today's basketball game! BB(11) actually made 2 free throw shots :) Thank goodness for small favors. Nothing sucks harder than riding in the car with everyone after a loss. I'd rather walk home.
Guess who didn't witness said victory?
Why, that would be their bint of a mother!
Today was her birthday and she told Sweety that she needed today for herself so she wasn't going to the game. After the game, the boys tell me they were really, really happy that they won because it was their mom's birthday and they wanted to win for her. Too bad the stupid fucking cunt had better things to do.
Guess who didn't witness said victory?
Why, that would be their bint of a mother!
Today was her birthday and she told Sweety that she needed today for herself so she wasn't going to the game. After the game, the boys tell me they were really, really happy that they won because it was their mom's birthday and they wanted to win for her. Too bad the stupid fucking cunt had better things to do.
4/14/06
Pissy Pool Post
We've been looking at these busted tiles for about a month now. On numerous occasions we've been told that they are being fixed. Today they were definitely supposed to be fixed. Since that photo was taken 5 minutes ago, you can figure that they weren't. When Sweety called the pool place he was told by the person (Tracey) we've been dealing with that the tile guy told her he fixed it today. When Sweety told her it wasn't so she said his next course of action would be to complain to the company president and he was passed on to that voicemail.
If you like to call a business and tell the receptionist (Ann) that you'll hold for the person (Tracey) you want to speak with and after holding for 10 minutes have Ann come back on the line to tell you that Tracey's away from her desk...
If you want a pool that's going to get a crack in the deck before it's even finished...
If you want the plumbing installed incorrectly so there's an open pipe leading right into the dirt and your pool keeps draining...
Then Champagne Pools & Spas is where you want to buy your pool!
The customer service we've encountered has been OUTSTANDING! Sweety went there one day at about 11:50 a.m. to give them a check for 8 freaking thousand dollars and the receptionist told him he needed to come back because she didn't have time to write a receipt for him before their lunch hour started at noon. Huh? (I found it oddly fitting that her name is Ann Slack.) We're trying to give you money! He told her no receipt was needed and she just took the check. Two days later, he got a call from the construction supervisor and was told they were all ready to move on to the next phase of the pool but they were waiting on his payment. He advised her that we'd already paid and she told him it was overlooked.
They send someone out to do something with the pool and they left a note saying they couldn't get in because the fence was locked. The fence doesn't have a lock! All they needed to do was unlatch it like they had every other time they've been out here.
I am really sick of this whole process. At this point, we only owe them $400 so I think their motivation to finish it is gone. I will be going out of my way to tell people to not buy a pool from these people.
The Day After
If I ever go deaf, I'm going to carry a stick around to poke people with so I can get their attention when I have something to say.
I ingested waaaay too much alcohol last night. This morning I discovered it's possible to vomit so much that you clog the toilet. On my way to work, I found out if you really need a place to puke in a hurry, a discarded envelope isn't the best place to go because it will leak. Do you know what vomit smells like after baking in your cupholder for 3 hours? Not good. Not good at all.
I actually forgot to take any photos of Sweety doing his bowling thing last night. This was the only photo I took. Bowlers seem to be an easily riled lot; I was afraid the flash would anger one and cause an attack upon my person. So I kept the camera on the down-low.
At one point I used my thoughtbeams to end a guy's striking streak. It gave me a headache. When he threw the ball and it wasn't a strike, I cheered. Sweety advised me that that wasn't the best thing to do.
Sweety was kind enough to chronicle my passing out on the way home using the camera. Those photos won't be published. They were a nice surprise when I got ready to download my picture though.
Here I am smirking at something. There is no telling what the hell I was thinking about. Probably something not very nice. Since Sweety was taking pictures of me on the way home and at home, I'm assuming that I didn't say or do anything too uncouth while we were out. I hope not anyway. I haven't had a chance to talk to him today because I left my phone in his car last night. I'm cooking a meatloaf now to help atone for any boorish behavior.
I can't believe that I used to go out and drink like that once or twice a week.
I ingested waaaay too much alcohol last night. This morning I discovered it's possible to vomit so much that you clog the toilet. On my way to work, I found out if you really need a place to puke in a hurry, a discarded envelope isn't the best place to go because it will leak. Do you know what vomit smells like after baking in your cupholder for 3 hours? Not good. Not good at all.
I actually forgot to take any photos of Sweety doing his bowling thing last night. This was the only photo I took. Bowlers seem to be an easily riled lot; I was afraid the flash would anger one and cause an attack upon my person. So I kept the camera on the down-low.
At one point I used my thoughtbeams to end a guy's striking streak. It gave me a headache. When he threw the ball and it wasn't a strike, I cheered. Sweety advised me that that wasn't the best thing to do.
Sweety was kind enough to chronicle my passing out on the way home using the camera. Those photos won't be published. They were a nice surprise when I got ready to download my picture though.
Here I am smirking at something. There is no telling what the hell I was thinking about. Probably something not very nice. Since Sweety was taking pictures of me on the way home and at home, I'm assuming that I didn't say or do anything too uncouth while we were out. I hope not anyway. I haven't had a chance to talk to him today because I left my phone in his car last night. I'm cooking a meatloaf now to help atone for any boorish behavior.
I can't believe that I used to go out and drink like that once or twice a week.
4/13/06
Dog day
If you give a tinker's damn, the HNT post is just below.
I am just blahed the eff out. Shift-traded with someone and I worked yesterday so I'm off today. And I haven't done one thing except chase the dogs around and take pictures of them. Wait, my nails also got done today but that is all. I'm giving myself credit for not just staying in bed all day. Instead of going back to sleep after taking the sprogs to school I stayed awake and made no use of my time by goofing around on the computer til my eyes started to burn. Once my eyes started to burn, I turned the computer over to Tiny dog and she hammered out a new post.
I'm just in a mood where I don't want to talk/deal with anyone. Just feeling too pissy for some reason.
Did you know it's not a good idea to let your laptop battery die? Because you may have a hard time getting the motherfucker to start back up again. For about 30 heart-stopping minutes this afternoon, I thought Raoul was going to have to go the computer hospital or something.
This is what I've been looking at today:
She only gets to lounge on me like this when I have pants on 'cause I don't like her coochie and butt ooching all over me. Since I'm usually sitting around naked, this is a real treat for her.
After awhile I was feeling guilty that the canines hadn't seen sun in awhile so I took them outside. I laugh my ass off every time they play tag. Having Tiny around really gets Stinky moving now. I'd never seen her run before we got Tiny.
Once Stinky tackles Tiny they both hit the ground and Tiny chews on Stinky's ears for a bit. Then Tiny humps her head and they start racing around some more.
It'll be nice when we have some grass in the backyard because the canines are freaking filthy from rolling around out there. They both have dates with the bathtub later.
Damn, Tiny dog is a little mean ass. I invited Stinky on the couch with me and due to her short legs, she has to kinda rock back and forth and get some momentum going to hop on the couch. Tiny's dancing on the edge of the couch, biting Stinky's nose whenever she rocks it over the edge of the cushion. I had to restrain Tiny dog to give Stinky a chance to get up here. What an abused Basset hound.
Tomorrow I only have to work for 3 hours so I'm considering going to the bowling alley tonight with Sweety and doing what I do best - drink 2 pitchers of beer and try to kill the other team using my thoughtbeams. It won't be a big deal to drag my hungover self to work since I've only gotta be there 180 minutes (15 minutes of that is a break so really I only have to be productive 165 minutes).
I better get around and get ready to leave the house. And try to tidy quickly so it doesn't look like I didn't do anything today. I may hit Mr. Patron bottle before going to the bowling alley tonight...
Hey! Maybe I'll take my camera with me tonight! I can document Sweety, Bowler Extraordinaire. Oh goody, I've found something to live for!
I am just blahed the eff out. Shift-traded with someone and I worked yesterday so I'm off today. And I haven't done one thing except chase the dogs around and take pictures of them. Wait, my nails also got done today but that is all. I'm giving myself credit for not just staying in bed all day. Instead of going back to sleep after taking the sprogs to school I stayed awake and made no use of my time by goofing around on the computer til my eyes started to burn. Once my eyes started to burn, I turned the computer over to Tiny dog and she hammered out a new post.
I'm just in a mood where I don't want to talk/deal with anyone. Just feeling too pissy for some reason.
Did you know it's not a good idea to let your laptop battery die? Because you may have a hard time getting the motherfucker to start back up again. For about 30 heart-stopping minutes this afternoon, I thought Raoul was going to have to go the computer hospital or something.
This is what I've been looking at today:
She only gets to lounge on me like this when I have pants on 'cause I don't like her coochie and butt ooching all over me. Since I'm usually sitting around naked, this is a real treat for her.
After awhile I was feeling guilty that the canines hadn't seen sun in awhile so I took them outside. I laugh my ass off every time they play tag. Having Tiny around really gets Stinky moving now. I'd never seen her run before we got Tiny.
Once Stinky tackles Tiny they both hit the ground and Tiny chews on Stinky's ears for a bit. Then Tiny humps her head and they start racing around some more.
It'll be nice when we have some grass in the backyard because the canines are freaking filthy from rolling around out there. They both have dates with the bathtub later.
Damn, Tiny dog is a little mean ass. I invited Stinky on the couch with me and due to her short legs, she has to kinda rock back and forth and get some momentum going to hop on the couch. Tiny's dancing on the edge of the couch, biting Stinky's nose whenever she rocks it over the edge of the cushion. I had to restrain Tiny dog to give Stinky a chance to get up here. What an abused Basset hound.
Tomorrow I only have to work for 3 hours so I'm considering going to the bowling alley tonight with Sweety and doing what I do best - drink 2 pitchers of beer and try to kill the other team using my thoughtbeams. It won't be a big deal to drag my hungover self to work since I've only gotta be there 180 minutes (15 minutes of that is a break so really I only have to be productive 165 minutes).
I better get around and get ready to leave the house. And try to tidy quickly so it doesn't look like I didn't do anything today. I may hit Mr. Patron bottle before going to the bowling alley tonight...
Hey! Maybe I'll take my camera with me tonight! I can document Sweety, Bowler Extraordinaire. Oh goody, I've found something to live for!
Merry Half Nekkid Thursday!
For about the past 2 years I've been able to wear Big Brother's (11) socks. And since Sweety makes sure that the boys always have enough clothes, I haven't bought my own socks (except for novelty or printed socks) in about the same timeframe. Imagine my sorrow upon putting on a nice, brand new sock the other day and finding that it was too big. My freeloading days are over.
4/11/06
Five Years
Today marks the fifth anniversary of the first time Sweety & I met. You can read all about it here. I don't know why, but it seems weird that it's been five years. It doesn't feel that long.
Seeing as how this is a "milestone" type of day, I better get off my can and clean the house and bake him a cake or something.
Seeing as how this is a "milestone" type of day, I better get off my can and clean the house and bake him a cake or something.
4/10/06
TGIM!
Yay! Monday! I know Mondays suck for a lot of people but I like them because Monday means my next two days are off.
Spent another sleepless night with Tiny dog. Sweety suggested giving her a homemade lobotomy this morning in the hopes of dulling her nighttime yapping. Why is it that he can suggest a lobotomy but when I recommend larynx removal and having her front legs amputated it's considered too much?
In one of Osbasso's recent posts, he mentions a fellow who did a post about what is going wrong with HNT and he took some photos from people who'd done the HNT thing to illustrate his point. Guess who had the dubious honor of being one of the chosen? He used the pool photo that had the stripes on it from a couple of weeks ago. And then he was creative enough to give it a very clever caption where he basically called me fat. Nothing wrong with his opinion but by taking the photos and then giving them snarky captions, instead of sounding like someone who's mildly educated, he came across as a schoolyard bully. I was pissed and then I remembered that awhile back someone used one of my pictures as an example of a good HNT - I figure you take the good with the bad.
After telling Sweety about my financial situation, Saturday night was rather sleepless. When we went to bed he wasn't talking much, tossing around in the bed and huffing and puffing. He got up about 2 hours later and when we got back in bed he was being very nice - it made me nervous. I was afraid he was going to smother me in my sleep. Sunday he told me he wanted to give his final opinion on the matter and then he'd leave me alone about it. This means I may not travel as I'd like this summer but at least he'll won't harping on the money situation. That's a relief; I like to get my ass-chewings out of the way quickly.
Supposedly, the tiles that are missing on the pool will be replaced today. I'm not holding my breath. We also noticed a freaking crack in the deck this weekend. I just love that the damn thing isn't finished and it's already disintegrating. This pool company won't be receiving any referrals from here.
Please let this day go by quickly, Amen.
Spent another sleepless night with Tiny dog. Sweety suggested giving her a homemade lobotomy this morning in the hopes of dulling her nighttime yapping. Why is it that he can suggest a lobotomy but when I recommend larynx removal and having her front legs amputated it's considered too much?
In one of Osbasso's recent posts, he mentions a fellow who did a post about what is going wrong with HNT and he took some photos from people who'd done the HNT thing to illustrate his point. Guess who had the dubious honor of being one of the chosen? He used the pool photo that had the stripes on it from a couple of weeks ago. And then he was creative enough to give it a very clever caption where he basically called me fat. Nothing wrong with his opinion but by taking the photos and then giving them snarky captions, instead of sounding like someone who's mildly educated, he came across as a schoolyard bully. I was pissed and then I remembered that awhile back someone used one of my pictures as an example of a good HNT - I figure you take the good with the bad.
After telling Sweety about my financial situation, Saturday night was rather sleepless. When we went to bed he wasn't talking much, tossing around in the bed and huffing and puffing. He got up about 2 hours later and when we got back in bed he was being very nice - it made me nervous. I was afraid he was going to smother me in my sleep. Sunday he told me he wanted to give his final opinion on the matter and then he'd leave me alone about it. This means I may not travel as I'd like this summer but at least he'll won't harping on the money situation. That's a relief; I like to get my ass-chewings out of the way quickly.
Supposedly, the tiles that are missing on the pool will be replaced today. I'm not holding my breath. We also noticed a freaking crack in the deck this weekend. I just love that the damn thing isn't finished and it's already disintegrating. This pool company won't be receiving any referrals from here.
Please let this day go by quickly, Amen.
4/8/06
Blahed Out
Thank you for all the HNT comments! They do please me so :) I've decided that I'm not going to fret over replying to all of them because it freaks me out. (MCB, I did answer your question there!) I like to keep up and reply to comments but I put the HNT up on Thursdays and usually don't have much 'puter time again til Saturday. Anything more than a half-dozen comments to reply to is overwhelming. Whew, I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted now that I know I don't have to worry about politeness on next week's HNT.
The boys have been yammering at each other chimpanzees going through heroin withdrawals today. Sweety has them picking rocks out of the sand in the backyard to burn off some energy now. Heh, heh, heh. They should sleep well tonight.
They had their first basketball game this morning and they lost 22 to 4. It was painful to watch. It is a lot of fun to sit in the stands with Sweety and watch his face get all red as the boys bumble around on the court. I may take vodka in my water bottle next time to help the time pass faster.
After spending last Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday pretty much in bed, I've decided to try and fight the blah mood that is trying to creep up on me. I've been worrying about my credit card debt and my constant eating habit. A couple of hours ago, I came clean to Sweety about the credit card bill. Oddly enough, I don't feel much better after confession. I'm hoping the eating was a manifestation of worrying about the credit card and maybe I'll start pushing away from the plate now.
One downside to letting him know how much money I owe (Which really isn't a lot but it's more than he was aware of.) is that I don't know if I can go to the gathering in Chicago now. (Because now he knows that I'd be adding debt on top of debt.) I REALLY wanna go! Argh. If I can get some overtime at work and knock this bill down within the next month it shouldn't interfere with my plans. We shall see...
Tiny dog is really pissing me off at night. She's started whining for company about every 3 hours. This morning I was listening to her and wondering what kind of sound it would make if I smacked her with a whiffle-ball bat. I'm thinking it'd be a small, meaty thud followed by a yelp. But how can I smash a dog that looks so freaking cute under the cover? I'd been kicking around the procreation idea for a couple of weeks but the last few nights of getting up continually at Tiny's insistence has quelled that urge. Do you think she has an agenda?
The boys have been yammering at each other chimpanzees going through heroin withdrawals today. Sweety has them picking rocks out of the sand in the backyard to burn off some energy now. Heh, heh, heh. They should sleep well tonight.
They had their first basketball game this morning and they lost 22 to 4. It was painful to watch. It is a lot of fun to sit in the stands with Sweety and watch his face get all red as the boys bumble around on the court. I may take vodka in my water bottle next time to help the time pass faster.
After spending last Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday pretty much in bed, I've decided to try and fight the blah mood that is trying to creep up on me. I've been worrying about my credit card debt and my constant eating habit. A couple of hours ago, I came clean to Sweety about the credit card bill. Oddly enough, I don't feel much better after confession. I'm hoping the eating was a manifestation of worrying about the credit card and maybe I'll start pushing away from the plate now.
One downside to letting him know how much money I owe (Which really isn't a lot but it's more than he was aware of.) is that I don't know if I can go to the gathering in Chicago now. (Because now he knows that I'd be adding debt on top of debt.) I REALLY wanna go! Argh. If I can get some overtime at work and knock this bill down within the next month it shouldn't interfere with my plans. We shall see...
Tiny dog is really pissing me off at night. She's started whining for company about every 3 hours. This morning I was listening to her and wondering what kind of sound it would make if I smacked her with a whiffle-ball bat. I'm thinking it'd be a small, meaty thud followed by a yelp. But how can I smash a dog that looks so freaking cute under the cover? I'd been kicking around the procreation idea for a couple of weeks but the last few nights of getting up continually at Tiny's insistence has quelled that urge. Do you think she has an agenda?
4/6/06
Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!
It's gotten hot enough here that I'm having to retire my winter robe and bust out something a bit cooler.
Does the fact that the laptop is always within my reach signify that I have a problem?
Does the fact that the laptop is always within my reach signify that I have a problem?
4/4/06
Conversation
Sweety: Hey, what's up?
Me: Just left the doctor's office and I'll be home soon. I peed in a cup for him and he saw something funny and wants me to go pee in a cup at a lab.
Sweety: Oh. What did they see?
Me: Protein and bacteria. A small bit of protein and a tiny bit of bacteria. He said those things shouldn't be there.
Sweety: Protein in your urine...Hmmm..That means your kidneys are going rotten. You're going to need to have one taken out.
Me: Dude, shut the hell up! I'm keeping my organs!
Sweety: I bet your kidneys are all fucked up. One's probably the size of a plum and the other's all dried up like a raisin. You can't have one of my kidneys.
Me: I don't want one of your stinking kidneys. There's nothing wrong with mine!
Sweety: You know, it hurts like hell when they take a kidney out...Hurts like a motherfucker.
Me: Hey! I'll tell them to leave a little opening and not sew me up all the way. Then you can fuck my kidney hole!
Sweety: Oh, well that goes without saying.
Me: I've just made myself sick with my last comment. Love you. Gotta go.
If you've ever had the urge to see someone breastfeed a cat, here is your chance.
Me: Just left the doctor's office and I'll be home soon. I peed in a cup for him and he saw something funny and wants me to go pee in a cup at a lab.
Sweety: Oh. What did they see?
Me: Protein and bacteria. A small bit of protein and a tiny bit of bacteria. He said those things shouldn't be there.
Sweety: Protein in your urine...Hmmm..That means your kidneys are going rotten. You're going to need to have one taken out.
Me: Dude, shut the hell up! I'm keeping my organs!
Sweety: I bet your kidneys are all fucked up. One's probably the size of a plum and the other's all dried up like a raisin. You can't have one of my kidneys.
Me: I don't want one of your stinking kidneys. There's nothing wrong with mine!
Sweety: You know, it hurts like hell when they take a kidney out...Hurts like a motherfucker.
Me: Hey! I'll tell them to leave a little opening and not sew me up all the way. Then you can fuck my kidney hole!
Sweety: Oh, well that goes without saying.
Me: I've just made myself sick with my last comment. Love you. Gotta go.
If you've ever had the urge to see someone breastfeed a cat, here is your chance.
Yuck
Do you know how tired I am of seeing and smelling vomit? LB(9) puked his guts out after he went to bed last night. This is the fourth time he's been sick in the past 4 or 5 weeks. Last nights rerun was of spaghetti. It was easier to deal with than the regurgitated chicken and barbecue that we've had in the past.
And this morning Tiny dog puked. Last night, I gave them some cooked asparagus and a tiny piece of it spewed forth a little while ago. This stuff was less than an inch long but the odor made me gag from across the room. Oy seems well enough now. She even felt well enough to blog about some of her recent suffering in the household.
And I feel kind of rotten. Tired. I think it's getting used to the time change. Going back to bed for a bit.
And this morning Tiny dog puked. Last night, I gave them some cooked asparagus and a tiny piece of it spewed forth a little while ago. This stuff was less than an inch long but the odor made me gag from across the room. Oy seems well enough now. She even felt well enough to blog about some of her recent suffering in the household.
And I feel kind of rotten. Tired. I think it's getting used to the time change. Going back to bed for a bit.
4/3/06
Miscellany
Just in case I haven't mentioned it, the ExWife is an effing idiot. Sweety said if I'd let my grudge against her go that I may change into a different, happier, person. Whatthefuckever, I like my sometimes-crappy attitude. If you are pleased when you hear about someone's bad fortune, does that make you a grudgeholder? I don't think so. I used to be a grudgeholder and wish horrible things would happen to her but since her husband's demise, I no longer lay awake at night and hope for her to die a fiery death.
This weekend was when the boys' school had their Spring Festival thing. A few weeks ago, LB(9) asked me if I'd work in his class booth and I told him that I would as long as he worked with me; He was agreeable. They were at their mom's this weekend and she was going to bring them and their brother to the Festival and LB would work with me. She calls Sweety last Tuesday saying that she can't take them because she doesn't have any money. Sweety tells her that he's already paid for the bracelets that the kids can buy to get unlimited rides on the things there so she doesn't have to pay for that. And guess what her fucking response was? "What about their brother? I don't have one for him." I think she thought Sweety'd volunteer to buy the boys' halfbrother a bracelet too. Instead he told her that we could pick them up Saturday morning and take them and then bring them back to her. Sweety and I worked a booth in the searing Florida sunshine for about an hour and I'm all crispy like a tater tot now. I didn't wear make-up because I didn't want it to sweat into my eyes and I overlooked putting on suntan lotion. My freckles should be out in full force within the next couple of weeks.
Thursday night was the night LB(11) got to go check out the new Middle School that he'll be attending next year. I thought it was interesting that EW's toes had a fresh french manicure, her nails were newly acryliced, the hair was still highlighted, and her tan was a brown as ever. When you look like a bar of soap, every little bit helps. I guess after all the personal maintenance she was too broke for anything else.
Both of the canines went swimming this weekend. Sweety put Tiny dog in and I went to the other side of the pool to encourage her to swim across. She got caught in the current of the pool jets and got turned around about halfway across and had to go back the way she came. She took a nice nap after that. Stinky dog wasn't too keen on the swim. She's too long to get on the step and get out of the pool on her own. I may get some kind of ramp to put in the pool so they can get in and out.
Speaking of the pool...The water is no longer crayon green. It's a nice blue color. I'll be so effing glad when it's all done and I can have my yard back. The pool was filled with water last Monday and overnight it lost about 6 inches of water. We filled it back up and it leaked again. And again. Our calls to the pool place went unanswered so Sweety started snooping this weekend and found the problem. There was some kind of pipe leading away from the pool and going into the fucking ground. The pipe was in the hole where the skimmer basket is so we didn't realize what was happening at first. We noticed that the ground on that side of the pool seemed to be saturated from the inside out and that's when Sweety found the problem. He put a fifty-cent lid on the pipe and now the pool is holding water. This pool place is run by a bunch of idiots. I will not recommend them to anyone.
After watching the last episode of Big Love, Sweety asked if it would be okay if we got another wife. Sure! As long as I get to find her! I will be auditioning soon for the next wife. It's a bonus if you promise to play gin rummy with me in your spare time. And I'd like to sleep in the middle of the bed at least 3 nights a week. I think it must feel good to be spooned from both sides.
This weekend was when the boys' school had their Spring Festival thing. A few weeks ago, LB(9) asked me if I'd work in his class booth and I told him that I would as long as he worked with me; He was agreeable. They were at their mom's this weekend and she was going to bring them and their brother to the Festival and LB would work with me. She calls Sweety last Tuesday saying that she can't take them because she doesn't have any money. Sweety tells her that he's already paid for the bracelets that the kids can buy to get unlimited rides on the things there so she doesn't have to pay for that. And guess what her fucking response was? "What about their brother? I don't have one for him." I think she thought Sweety'd volunteer to buy the boys' halfbrother a bracelet too. Instead he told her that we could pick them up Saturday morning and take them and then bring them back to her. Sweety and I worked a booth in the searing Florida sunshine for about an hour and I'm all crispy like a tater tot now. I didn't wear make-up because I didn't want it to sweat into my eyes and I overlooked putting on suntan lotion. My freckles should be out in full force within the next couple of weeks.
Thursday night was the night LB(11) got to go check out the new Middle School that he'll be attending next year. I thought it was interesting that EW's toes had a fresh french manicure, her nails were newly acryliced, the hair was still highlighted, and her tan was a brown as ever. When you look like a bar of soap, every little bit helps. I guess after all the personal maintenance she was too broke for anything else.
Both of the canines went swimming this weekend. Sweety put Tiny dog in and I went to the other side of the pool to encourage her to swim across. She got caught in the current of the pool jets and got turned around about halfway across and had to go back the way she came. She took a nice nap after that. Stinky dog wasn't too keen on the swim. She's too long to get on the step and get out of the pool on her own. I may get some kind of ramp to put in the pool so they can get in and out.
Speaking of the pool...The water is no longer crayon green. It's a nice blue color. I'll be so effing glad when it's all done and I can have my yard back. The pool was filled with water last Monday and overnight it lost about 6 inches of water. We filled it back up and it leaked again. And again. Our calls to the pool place went unanswered so Sweety started snooping this weekend and found the problem. There was some kind of pipe leading away from the pool and going into the fucking ground. The pipe was in the hole where the skimmer basket is so we didn't realize what was happening at first. We noticed that the ground on that side of the pool seemed to be saturated from the inside out and that's when Sweety found the problem. He put a fifty-cent lid on the pipe and now the pool is holding water. This pool place is run by a bunch of idiots. I will not recommend them to anyone.
After watching the last episode of Big Love, Sweety asked if it would be okay if we got another wife. Sure! As long as I get to find her! I will be auditioning soon for the next wife. It's a bonus if you promise to play gin rummy with me in your spare time. And I'd like to sleep in the middle of the bed at least 3 nights a week. I think it must feel good to be spooned from both sides.
To Be Fair...
Since I mentioned some things about Sweety in the previous post, I should probably be fair and list some things that I'll bet he could live without.
* The gas tank always being almost empty when he gets into my car. (I plan it that way. He'll actually spend the money to fill the tank so I only put five dollars in at a time, just waiting for him to drive it.)
* Me asking to shake his weenie off after he pees. He won't let me. I think it would be fun.
* Being attacked by a baby carrot.
* Being hit in the head with a magazine. (I forget what started it, but I whapped him upside the head a few times with a tightly rolled magazine the other night. Once I got him backed into a corner it was pretty easy. And later we had sex all over the place so it's not like I was mean ALL night.)
* The gas tank always being almost empty when he gets into my car. (I plan it that way. He'll actually spend the money to fill the tank so I only put five dollars in at a time, just waiting for him to drive it.)
* Me asking to shake his weenie off after he pees. He won't let me. I think it would be fun.
* Being attacked by a baby carrot.
* Being hit in the head with a magazine. (I forget what started it, but I whapped him upside the head a few times with a tightly rolled magazine the other night. Once I got him backed into a corner it was pretty easy. And later we had sex all over the place so it's not like I was mean ALL night.)
4/2/06
Weird Sweety
Things that I want no part of:
1) I NEVER EVER EVER need to see Sweety stick his finger in his ear and then feed earwax to Tiny dog.
2) I NEVER EVER EVER want to see or hear about him farting in his effing hand and then smothering Tiny dog with it.
3) The same goes for farting on Tiny and then giving her to me like a living stink bomb.
4) "Hey, the next time you go pee, can I go at the same time and see if we can get the streams to cross?" is a phrase that is totally unnecessary. (For the record, every time I went to the bathroom after hearing that yesterday, I ran to the bathroom and locked to door so I could pee in peace.)
It is frightening that we get along so well.
1) I NEVER EVER EVER need to see Sweety stick his finger in his ear and then feed earwax to Tiny dog.
2) I NEVER EVER EVER want to see or hear about him farting in his effing hand and then smothering Tiny dog with it.
3) The same goes for farting on Tiny and then giving her to me like a living stink bomb.
4) "Hey, the next time you go pee, can I go at the same time and see if we can get the streams to cross?" is a phrase that is totally unnecessary. (For the record, every time I went to the bathroom after hearing that yesterday, I ran to the bathroom and locked to door so I could pee in peace.)
It is frightening that we get along so well.
4/1/06
Go See
Although not politically correct, I like this fellow's post about the illegal immigration issue that's being bandied about right now.
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