I am Chaperone! Hear me roar!

I'm so freaking happy to be home. Today I chaperoned in LB's(9) class when they went on a field trip to a winter resort for manatees. Manatees are some of the ugliest and most useless creatures alive. They were interesting to watch. There were at least 20 of them near the dock. I'd never seen that many in one place before. There's a place where you can swim with them. I may have to try that out. There were some people in the water; you're not allowed to touch the manatees but some of them were coming right up the swimmers and bumping into them.

The group of children that I had wasn't too bad. Everyone did get a little rambunctious. But I know that you can't yell "shut the fuck up!" to a bunch of third graders so I just retreated to the happy place inside my head when it all became overwhelming.

I love it when I turn on my printer and lots of pages start to spew out from a porn site. Sweety, I know you like to sit back here and yank it when I'm not available but could you keep your elbow off the "print screen" button?

There is a new love in my life. Her name is SuperTarget. Wallyworld can kiss my ass. I went in my very first one last night and I had 3 orgasms before I got to the bread section. It was all so clean and shiny. I was suffering from sensory overload. They had banana jelly! And Dirty Dancing (Ultimate Edition)! I had to buy it. One of my secret pleasures is how much I love that movie. I was going to hide it so Sweety couldn't poke fun at me for buying it but wasn't quick enough when I got home with it. This weekend when Sweety is gone I plan on watching it and eating something yummy. Haven't decided on the yummy eating part yet. Perhaps some banana jelly?

Holy fucking shit. You have got to be kidding me. I just heard a loud boom coming from the porch and find that the sprogs are smacking golf balls towards the house. When I told them to knock it off and hit them towards the woods they were all "but we'll lose our balls!". Well too damn bad. Geez, use your noggins you little heathens.

Chili for dinner tonight. I better go get it started so Sweety can see that I don't waste ALL of my time back here tapping on the keyboard.


bekah said...

Little fruit cakes.

Yes, SuperTarget is the SHIT. Glad you've found the promised land.

BO Snagley said...

But Super Target does not have any fishing and hunting junk.
if i took my kids there they would have no catfish bait to smell.
I am not ready for that yet.

Chickie said...

Bekah - I cannot believe it took me so long to discover the divine ST.

Bo Snagley - But they do have lots of little girl dresses and frilly things.

Maybe your children only smell catfish bait because that's what you lead them to. I bet they'd love to sniff some banana jelly. Or jalapeno jelly. Or summer sausage. Or new purses with spangly things dangling off the side of them. All of these fine items can be found in your local, friendly, sparkly SuperTarget.

Me and my sister used to sniff catfish bait and look how good I turned out!

txsm said...

Yeah, well, I'm a definate Target person now....just have to drive a hour to get to one...sucks!! And I so love Dirty Dancing.."No one puts Baby in a corner.." LOVE IT!

anne arkham said...

I cannot think of anything worse than eating banana jelly.

Sasha said...

i LOVE Dirty Dancing!! omg!

L said...

Dirty Dancing -- heh heh heheh (I was SO in love with patrick swayze when I was in fifth grade)

A note on manatees: Once, I went to an aquarium that had them outside in a very large pool where vistors could go in a room to see through the glass sides. Every so often, keepers would throw cabbage heads out near the side so we could watch them.

Do you know what a manatee does when it's eating cabbage?
1. it holds the cabbage in its front appendages-- while seeming to smile at you
2. it sort of "stands up" under water and floats around
3. it eats the cabbage
4. it starts farting constantly underwater--while smiling at you
5. it continues to fart and smile a bit, then swims slowly outside again

just thought you'd like to know

Midwestern City Boy said...

I have chaperoned 9-year olds many times so I know what that is like. I think my chaperoning days are all but finished not that our youngest, The Girl, is in eighth grade.

They don't have any SuperTargets around here. How do they differ from regular Target Stores?

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

I never heard of SuperTarget...My shopping education is sorely in need! Love the Manatees...!

How about eating some Chocolate Turtles???

Chickie said...

TXSM - This one isn't close to home but is on my way to work. I plan on getting to know it better soon.

Anne Arkham - To be honest, it smells better than it tastes.

Sasha - It's always been one of my favorites and seeing the DVD (ultimate edition, no less!) was a sign to buy it.

L - I still love Patrick Swayze in that movie. Don't much care for him in any of his others though.

I didn't know manatees used those little flippers. Your comment reminds me of something they did that I'll have to post on.

MCB - SuperTarget is much like WMSupercenter. They have groceries and a pharmacy and anything else you could want (except for hunting and fishing stuff). I saw Jesus in the back making the banana jelly.

OOLOTH - Chocolate turtles have always held a soft spot in my heart. Maybe I will go get some good milk and some chocolates.