I'm Still Here

BB's sleepover went well. All three boys came over. I could not believe how LOUD 4 eleven year olds were. I was freaking out when they started showing up (with everyone running around and acting like a nut) and I started to break out in hives. One xanax later, all was good in my world. Sweety was kind enough to take them all to a movie while I puttered around the mall. I looked at sparkly things; that always soothes me.

Why the heck is it that I cleaned the boys' bathroom on Saturday and it already smells like a wet sock in there? If I ever built a house I'd make the bathroom for the children an outdoor one.

I'm feeling kind of whiny about some stupid little things and I know they're stupid but I can't help it anyway. But if I can recognize when I'm being a whiny bitch, that's a good thing, right?

In other news: Stinky dog is constipated. I haven't seen her poop in 2 days. I may give her some prunes later. Or an enema.

Sweety and I did an experiment like the one Bekah did with her dog. And the results were the same. Tiny dog Oy went to Sweety instead of me both times. But when I started to cry she came over to me to lick my eyes. Self-serving little bitch.

Last night I went into the bathroom after I'd tucked the dogs in and this is what I saw...
Stinky's a Pushover
See all those effing toys? Tiny dog isn't happy to just sleep with Stinky in her bed she wants to move all her furniture in too. I moved all the toys back to their spot so Stinky dog could stretch her legs out more if she felt like it.

And do you know what this is? It is the palm tree-like thing in my front yard after Sweety has shrouded it in a sheet and then put a lamp under there to keep it warm. I guess it got cold by Florida standards a few nights ago and this is how he babies the tree. It is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. I say just leave the tree alone and if it's tough it will survive. We were the only people on the block that had a nightlight on in the front yard for their tree. (and sweety makes fun of me for buying dog clothes!)

My head feels all juicy today. The Christmas tree is up and I have a sneaking suspicion that the smell of it may be the culprit. I've never had an allergy to the tree before though.

Something disturbing: Waking up from a wet dream and rolling over to see Tiny dog looking me right in the eye. You can't really go back to sleep and finish it properly after that.


bekah said...

I don't understand why people in the south wrap their trees in blankets... no one else does this! In places where it snows, i.e. not Florida, no one wraps their damn trees in a blanket.

It's the most ridiculous thing EVER and I love to make fun of people who do it.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Good to see you back, Chickie..I was getting a bit worried about you...Glad you are still up to your old tricks...LOVE that photo of your doggies...! They look so sweet together...toys and all! The Palm is very funny...and yet, I can see how Sweety might be worried about iot....How cold has it been there? It's been very cold at night here...UGH!

Sasha said...

cutie dogs! oooh i adore them!

Chickie said...

Bekah - I think the trees are meant to be outside so the temperature change isn't going to kill it. I'd never seen a wrapped tree before I moved here. I thought Sweety was playing some kind of joke on me when he plugged that damn lamp in.

OOLOTH - I think it got down in the 40's one night. This weather is great! It's nice to be able to sleep with the windows open and the air conditioner off.

The dogs eyes have been damaged from my camera flash. That's why the last photo is from the back :)

Sasha - Would you like one? You choose and I'll mail her to you.

anne arkham said...

Something disturbing: Waking up from a wet dream and rolling over to see Tiny dog looking me right in the eye. You can't really go back to sleep and finish it properly after that.

I hate that. Butkus is the masturbation police in my house. She always knows when I'm in the mood, and if my hand starts moving under the covers, she's all over it.

Lisa said...

I would like to enquire what it feels like to have a juicy head. I don't think I've experienced that before, but it's possible that's because I've never had Xanax before.

Please to be enlightening me.


Chickie said...

Anne Arkham - I felt kind of like Tiny dog was laughing at me. They can watch me have sex - just not the alone kind.

Lisa - "Juicy head" is when you have so much snot build up that other people can hear it sloshing around when you nod your head.

Xanax gives me "heavy head" which is an entirely different animal. A nice Xanax induced sleep is a wonderful thing.

Zube Girl said...

It's not good enough for dogs to play with their toys, they must sleep with them, too.

Ugh. That sucks your head feels juicy. I hate that feeling.

Chickie said...

Zube Girl - Tiny dog is just plain rude. I mean, if you invited me to your house to spend the night I wouldn't bring ALL of my shit with me!

Thankfully, the juicy is subsiding.

Midwestern City Boy said...

The sleepover tings only gets worse (louder) when they get older. But at least you guys only have boys.

Why do you care that Stinky is constipated so long as she doesn't explode in the house?

I think wrapping trees is hilarious. It's 18-degrees with a wind-chill of 11-degrees and no one is wrapping their trees around here.

Chickie said...

If we do any more sleepovers I may get a hotel room and let Sweety supervise if it only gets louder.

I'm afraid that at some point Stinky will explode in the house though.

People down here must think their trees are more sensitive or something. I think its silly.