Five (or six?) tequila shots later I tried to poke Sweety's eye out with a baby carrot. He dared me to. Luckily, he ran away before any lasting damage occurred. I learned it's pretty hard to hold someone down if they know you're going to poke out their eye. And it was hard to hold the carrot steady. I'm glad that he got away because I don't think he'd be as cute with an eye patch.
The pool is almost finished. All that's left to do is the stuff they spray on the deck and the pebble finish inside of the pool.
This weekend we have to get our fence up and that's turning out to be a real pain in the ass, courtesy of our neighbors. There's a lot that owned by the county behind our house that can't be developed and there are lots of trees on it. There's one tree that's dead and leaning and when it falls it will wipe out our fence.
Sweety (being the much too nice neighbor that he is) asked the neighbors (since the tree is right outside of their property line) if it would be okay if he cut it. A couple of weeks ago they said it was okay and yesterday decided it wasn't. The reason? Neighborwife likes to look at the trees when she looks out her kitchen window. What the fuck? It's a dead-ass tree and there are 100 others out there to look at. We thought about calling the city and asking them to cut it but it would be forever before it was on their schedule and we have to put the fence up this weekend. The plan now: When the tree falls and wipes out the fence we will replace that part of the fence with pickets that are painted an odd color and write on them "Thanks for fucking my last 2 wives, Neighborhusband." and start storing our trash cans and recycle bins outside of our fence so they are almost in the neighbors backyard. They can look at that shit whenever they gaze out at the tree. I may start picking up roadkill to store on the outside of the fence as well.
I will be so happy to move away from this godforsaken place in 8 years. I hate living in a neighborhood.
9 comments:
It's not on their property. It's right off their property line on the city's property. It would just be easier and quicker for us to cut it than to call the city. If we cut it now though, the neighbors would call the city and we'd get a ticket for cutting it down.
After we get the fence up, I'm going to call the city to see about having it taken down.
Call the city and let them know it's dead and the city will receive a bill for any damages it will cause when it falls.
I'm all about bitching in phone calls.
You got sompm against eye patchs, matey?
Howdju like t walk th plank?
The pool is a lovely shape, Chickie! It's going to be soooo wonderful! The image of you trying to poke out Sweety's eye with a Baby Carrott is too funny...Not To Him, I know....(lol)Hope the tree problem will get resolved without the hanging of too much roadkill!
I always thought "good fences make good neighbors" was supposed to be true, but I guess it's not :)
Bekah - Sweety went to the city office today and spoke to them about it. I'll have to take time and do some telephoning also.
Mike - I like how you think. I've also thought of spray painting it orange.
Joey Polanski - On some folks, the eye patch might be a nice accessory but I don't think this would be the case with Sweety.
OOLOTH - The pool has turned out a lot better than I thought it would be. It looked really small when they first dug the hole but now that it's been concreted it's starting to look like a pool!
I think once the fence is up and I start pestering the city, then it will be cut down soon enough instead of falling on the fence.
L - Yeah, that phrase certainly doesn't apply here.
Bonanza Jellybean - The bleach is a nice suggestion. I wouldn't write anything though because that would be too obvious. Maybe I'll just kill a few of their shrubs.
Your pool looks gorgeous. You'll have to post a picture when its is finished.
Dead trees are safety hazards, especially in high winds. I'd call or write the city just to be on record as notifiying them about the problem. Then if anything happens to the fence its their fault. Once you get water in the pool you won't want a broken fence. There are a lot of stupid people in this world who find novel ways to hurt themselves.
MCB - There will definitely be pictures up when it's done! I can't wait for it to be finished.
I think I'm going to write a letter to the city and include a photo of the leaning tree.
Wait 'til the next electrical storm and burn the tree down -"lightning" hits and destroys dead trees all the time...
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