(me, shining light from camera phone on Sweety to see if I can find the source of the scritching sound)
Sweety: What the hell are you doing?
Me: Ha! I knew it!
That sound. That scritching sound. That's you scratching! Stop it. If you're making so much noise that I can't sleep then it's too loud.
Don't you have earplugs to keep noise out?
Geez, leave your butt alone.
It's my ass. Do you want a tour?
I love conversations with Sweety.