7/14/06

Modern Marvel

Have you seen those doors that have the buttons that you can push to open the door if you're handicapped? We have those at work. Once you push the button, you can't manually shove the door open - you just have to wait for it to slooooowly open up on it's own.

To the people that insist on hitting that fucking button to open the door because they are too lazy to open it themselves:

Knock it off already! Just open the damned door! Don't you people know it takes longer to wait for the son of a bitch to open on it's own? If you just used your hand to shove it open, you could be down the stairs and in the parking lot in the same amount of time that it takes to open up automatically. And another thing...If I'm walking a few feet in front of you and I'm pushing the door open, for the love of Pete, don't hit the fucking button! It makes the door STOP moving and I'm just shoving on it uselessly while the door pushes AGAINST me. You made fucking eye contact with me and could SEE that I was already opening the door. Did you think that I didn't see that handy little handicap logo on the button by the door? Did you think you were doing me a FAVOR by hitting that button? Lazy motherfuckers.

For the record, this isn't the first time this has happened. I hate to be on my way out the door and get behind a gaggle of people who want to push the button and then wait for the door to open up before walking through it. It's even better when you get about half-way through the doorway and it slams shut on you. I love it when that happen!

11 comments:

Joey Polanski said...

Whoevr inventd them doors aparently dint realize that some fokes thatd be usin em woud be mentally handicappd.

The Phosgene Kid said...

Grease the button up with some vasaline, that should break them of the habit.

Chickie said...

Joey Polanski - Or maybe they were made for the mentally handicapped? I'll start taking that view on the doors.

The Phosgene Kid - That is a fine idea!

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

I've never seen any doors like that...! Hmmmmm. I wonder why these people who don't need to use the door in that manner feel compelled to do so?? Is it like a toy to them? Bizarre, huh?

Midwestern City Boy said...

Doors like that are required by Federal law on all new construction. They would be hazards if they opened fast but people really shouldn't push them unless they need to. Of course, people do a lot of things that they shouldn't; but we live in modern times where they don't get eaten if they do something dumb. In prehistoric times, they would never have survived.

Chickie said...

OOLOTH - They are just exceedingly lazy.

MCB - I'm pretty sure everyone I work with would've gotten eaten.

anaglyph said...

Maybe you need a button like this one.?

r.fuel said...

Bastards.

Ginamonster said...

Amen, sister. Amen. we have the same problem at my work.

Chickie said...

Anaglyph - Only if I get one of those snazzy outfits too.

R.Fuel - Yes, bastards. That's the one word that I forgot to use.

Ginamonster - Makes me feel better to know that those fools are everywhere and not just in my orbit.

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