Make sure you check to see if the outside garage door is open before you stroll naked into the garage to get clothes out of the dryer.
If you eat Reese Puffs cereal and garlic hummus on crackers for breakfast, when you burp it tastes like marshmallows.
I must start going to bed earlier.
Edited one minute after publishing -
That insane shrieking that any of you may have just heard? That was me.
While putting my trousers on I noticed that something was in my pocket. I reached in an drew out a nice crunchy palmetto bug. I think that I just wet myself.
I am so very awake now.