Groggy Monday

Make sure you check to see if the outside garage door is open before you stroll naked into the garage to get clothes out of the dryer.

If you eat Reese Puffs cereal and garlic hummus on crackers for breakfast, when you burp it tastes like marshmallows.

I must start going to bed earlier.

Edited one minute after publishing -

That insane shrieking that any of you may have just heard? That was me.

While putting my trousers on I noticed that something was in my pocket. I reached in an drew out a nice crunchy
palmetto bug. I think that I just wet myself.

I am so very awake now.


bekah said...

Palmetto bugs make me want to curl up and die. I hate them worse than regular cockroaches because they can FLY.

Once I was in the shower in FL and I was rinsing my face, so my eyes were shut and I felt a little thing on my ankle, and I looked down to see a huge ass palmetto bug crawling UP MY LEG. I screamed like a fucking maniac. I probably peed myself, too, I just don't remember now.

Ginamonster said...

AAAAHHHHH AAAAAAHHHHH AAAAAAHHHHH. Any kind of roach is like kriptonite for me. the very idea of having a palmetto bug in my pocket is enough to make me want to curl up and die. If I were you I'd be huddled in the corner shaking right now.

patti_cake said...

That thump you heard was ME hitting the floor just thinking of a crunch palmetto bug anywhere NEAR my person. I hate,loathe,despise those freakin' things more than I can say....

Joey Polanski said...

You coud have quite a career, tourin laundromats.

bekah said...

Mark wants to know if the bug was alive or dead.

The Phosgene Kid said...

That ought to give the neighbors something to talk about.

I had some red Kuwaiti soda pop and some kiwi yogurt and could spit fluorescent green loogies. That was a hoot!!

Titus said...

Let me know if a For Sale sign ever gets posted at the house across the street from you. For the longest time, I have wanted an apartment with a view of the lake, what was I thinking?

Chickie said...

Bekah - Oh yes, the FLYING part. Ack!

The bug was dead. I'd just pulled the pants out of the dryer so he was toasty too.

Ginamonster - I think the experience did break my mind a tiny bit. I find myself looking in shoes now to make sure none have taken up residence there.

Patti_Cake - They are the nastiest creatures on earth! What purpose do they serve?

Joey Polanski - I'd rather be a bum.

The Phosgene Kid - I'm hoping that the neighbors didn't see me. I didn't hear any screams from across the street so I think I'm safe.

Ooooo, pretty loogies! That sounds like a fun way to spend a Friday night!

Titus - Trust me, the lake view is better.

Rich | Championable said...


Tatted said...

EWWWWWW marshmallow burps!

I think I would have screamed if I saw that bug! Someone else would have to always do laundry!

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

EWWW EWWWW EWWWW...I would hate that soooo very much! I might shit in my pants, too! Oh Dear!!! (lol)

My question: Did anyone see you out there nekid in the garage? LOL

Amy said...

What in God's name is a Palmetto bug? Do I really want to know? What do they look like?

Garlic and Reese's puffs for breakfast? God, Chickie, you sound like my husband, he'll eat almost anything for breakfast!

anaglyph said...

I once put my jeans on with a wasp inside. It stung me on the ass twice before I could get them off again. True story.

Chickie said...

Rich Championable - Not from my end.

Jen - To tell the truth, Sweety does most of the laundry. I'd just taken the pants out of the dryer.

OOLOTH - I'll bet you have some interesting creepy-crawlies that live around your cactus!

Amy - You know you want to click the link and look at the bug.

I'm not a big fan of traditional breakfast items.

Anaglyph - Suddenly, finding an enormous roach in my pocket doesn't seem so bad!