Anyone out there an only child? Do you feel like you would've liked it better with a sibling?
How 'bout anyone that only has one kid? Planning on having any more? Do you think your kid needs (or doesn't need) to have a sibling? Maybe you can't have any more than one kid....do you wish you could?
Or maybe you have more than one and wish you'd stopped there?
And since this is a really personal thing, I'd welcome any responses or emails - even anonymous ones!
We are at a Mexican Standoff at Casa de Chickie.
20 comments:
I had two sisters, both of which turned out to be evil bitches. Don't get me wrong they are family, but I watch my wallet and sharp objects when they are around. I always wanted a brother.
Right now I have one daughter. 14 months old and full of fire.
As much as I fear another child, I can't see raising her as an only kid. I have this strange belief that two kids are must, much like I believe you should ever own just one dog, they need to belong to a pack.
Tv
I answered on my blog because I went on for too long here. :-)
We have one kid, two dogs and assorted cousins nearby. It's just going to have to be enough.
I never had any children Chickie and that has been really fine for me. I am one of four, so I had three siblings, and I'm the youngest...that has been okay, too!
Hard to say because my only experience has been being one of four. I do know this, almost every only child I have ever known enjoyed their aloneness IF they felt truly loved by at least one parent....Don't know if this is helpful but I pass it on anyway. (lol)
This might be unwanted insight, as I have never been an only child, but I have both dated and married only children.
These are my observations on the individuals without siblings I becamed aquantied intimately with:
They were all mostly evil with few redeeming qualities as a group. They throw things a lot and have fits of crying that are totally unexplainable. Also they hate to share and have the social skills of a jack russell terrier. Maybe if you don't spoil them, they'd be OK, but these ones were bad news for a guy from a family of six.
I'm obviously biased and I have known some really good people who didn't have a sibling to fight with.
Even though I have a younger sister, I consider myself an only child, because she doesn't count.
I have 3 kids. 2 are biologically mine and one I adopted. When I first got married I didn't want any. Now, I just can't imagine life without them. It's kind of nice because they are all 8 years apart. Just enough time for me to forget what a pain in the ass babies were.
Chickie:
I am the middle of 5. The dreaded middle child! Although a middle child I have noticed a few traits of single child families. The child is usually self centered, it is all about them and them only. They do not do groups well. They take this into adulthood and are basicaly the same. They are all about themselves. They need the attention. They are always trying to one up the others. Maybe going into this with insite, a one child family could work but I don't thiks so. It would have to be really worked on. If you have close family near by with lots of children to surround the child with who knows!! Could be change things.
Well . . .although I don't have any children (yet-a tenative yet) I do have an older half-sister, a younger brother and a younger half-brother. I was basically raised as the oldest, since my sister lived in another city with her mom.
I am so incredibly close with my siblings (every one of them) that I could never imagine depriving my child for a chance at the relationship. They are all my best friends (in different ways) and I could never imagine life alone.
Michael concurs-we have decided it's either no children or at least 2. There will be non of this only child business (no offense).
Hated being an only child....until I wound up with 2 sisters. Then wished for piece and quiet!! But I love them....wouldn't trade them for anything.
I was an only until age 8.. it was lonely but the gigantic age gap just turned me into a babysitting slave when my bro and sis came along. We are only now just getting to be friends. I think I would have enjoyed having them around more if we had been closer in age... i was often very lonely
I have two, a boy and a girl, and couldn't image life without both of them around. Perhaps more would have been OK (we're done now) but watching their interactions over the years has really been special. My sister only has one and such a mamma's boy that he doesn't interact well with other kids or in any situation where he is not the center of attention. It's not always the case but having siblings often makes kids more sociable.
I'm an only child. My Dad has a vasectomy a month after I was born. I tease him about me too much of a handful as a baby and scaring him into getting fixed to avoid any more like me... lol.
Anyway, as a kid, it sucked. I still wonder if that didn't have something to do with my lack of acceptable social skills now. But it was just being an only child, my parents were also very protective over me, and I wasn't allowed to go to any house where there was a male in residence for fear I'd be raped or molested, and all arrangements for visiting friends has to be made weeks in advance.
Add in that I lived 25 miles from town in the middle of nowhere, and just popping by a friends was never even possible.
I kind of wanted an older sister, mainly so she could get in trouble, and I could learn how not to make those mistakes without making them... and if I did get caught, it wouldn;t be as big a deal (in my mind) since she already did them. hehe
Just my opinion. :)
haha I just read the other comments and I think they hit me on the head with their only child descriptions- social skills of a Jack Russel and all about me is right!
Hmmm... maybe I should try to keep that secret, eh?
hi dear
u r so pretty and sweet sure
david
gozi_be_rishe_rahbar@yahoo.de
My dad was an only child, and he was universally regarded as a generous, thoughtful, funny and loving man. I am the younger of two 17 months apart, and my brother and I are utter strangers to each other. I know several pre-teen only children, and each of them is unique - some spoiled, some grumpy, some sunny. Not to be too gooey, but I think every child needs and deserves loving attention, and they will learn to provide that for others, too.
I generally agree with the previous comments - lone children can lack social skills. However, I do know a man who is the sweetest person ever, and completely selfless and brilliant, and he was an only child. But I think he is the exception rather than the rule. I am have one older sister and I think having all of my good toys stolen from me as a child made me the person I am today!
I think it's lonely for an only child.
cant help too much i am 4 of 5 and i am working on kid number 4 myself.
I personaly like big familys but to each his or her own
I started out with just a big sister. and I think it was perfect. Then, when I was 9, my mom had another. Then a brother. I was bitter about it then, but now, I am thrilled to have a big family. It was tough as kids because there wasn't always enough to go around. As an adult, I can't imagine life without my siblings. I still think two is a great number, but some of my fondest memories are of me and the younger two goofing off and laughing our asses off. I'm looking forward to having little sis home for the holidays.
My only child cousins? spent their holidays with us. I think that says something.
To those who think that being an only child leads to spoiled-ness and a lack of social skills: that has less to do with being an only child and more to do with parenting.
I know plenty multi-sibling families who are full of spoiled, rude brats. The attitude of the child or children is influenced mainly by the way the parent(s) raise them and allow them to behave.
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