11/7/06

(o) (o)

I think a good rule to use when you are getting your breasts enlarged is to have them be no bigger than 75% of your head size.

There was some chick in the grocery store the other day and, I kid you not, her tits were the bigger than her head. She had a freakishly small pinhead and these big balloons sitting under it. I couldn't help but look at her and imagine her face on her chest also. Have you ever seen a shrunken head? That's what kind of face she had - low ears, duck lips, fish eyes. And the huge chest ornaments just really drew attention to her tiny head.

It so surprised me to look up and see them headed my way that I actually exclaimed, "Holy shit, Sweety! Do you see those?" while jabbing him with my elbow and I wasn't the least bit discreet about it. Generally, I'm not one to curse in public or let someone know that I'm looking at them but my manners were temporarily stunned.

I haven't been able to get the image of her out of my mind and I hope that by purging myself of the experience that the memory will fade.

9 comments:

Titus said...

I have always thought that an essential ingredient of good taste is knowing when to stop and say this is enough. This lady obviously didn't know either.

bekah said...

I was told once by someone who had her boobs done (way too large, if you ask me) that doctors tend to be really nice with the extra boobage, so you always should tell them a cup size smaller than you actually want, because normally they do at least one cup size bigger. I don't know if that's true or if she was just making it up to blame her gigantic boobies on her doctor or what.

Oh, and this reminds me of a bad joke!

Why do mermaids wear seashells?

Because B-shells are too small and D-shells are too big!

HA! I make me laugh.

Chickie said...

Titus - Lots of people lack that good taste gene.

Bekah - Heh, you slay me!

If I was getting boobs, I'd probably want them as big as possible. So I felt like I was getting my money's worth.

bekah said...

I wonder how they charge for boob jobs? Is it a price per ounce thing like if you're buying fruit from the grocery store?

Chickie said...

It's a flat fee for the operation if you're getting one of the widely used sizes.

Anonymous said...

A "flat fee" you say?

Next time get pictures so we can all suffer from pictures of women with small heads and gigantic boobs. Personally, I am not seeing it as being a problem right now.

bekah said...

"Widely used sizes"

HA!

Chickie said...

Mike - I wanted to take a photo but I was trying to not be too obvious. Like yelling "holy shit!" isn't obvious...

Bekah - You know the sizes I'm talking about! You can pick a boob job out a mile away when you see a set coming towards you.

Midwestern City Boy said...

There is a woman at the gym that I go to in the winter that's less than 100 pounds and has HUGE implants. They are at least double the circumference of the rest of her body. Doesn't look remotely natural. No one that skinny has boobs that big.