Go to a hard flat surface - no carpet! Stand up and kind of kick your leg out so your foot is dangling all floppy off the end. Now flop your foot so the ball of it just taps on the ground and makes a gentle smacking sound. Fun, huh? This move brings me much happiness and serenity. It's especially good on slightly damp concrete. You get a gentle mist around your foot.
As much as it pains me to admit it, Tiny dog only looks to me for food. She doesn't love me. I'm coping okay with this horrible realization. Actually that's a lie. I was going to commit hara-kiri (doesn't that sound so much prettier than saying, "I was going to disembowel myself."? Disembowel. What a yucky word.) on the lawn when it hit me that what I've been mistaking as love was only her trying to sniff food on any part of me that she can reach. I didn't want the greedy bitch to eat my guts when I was done so I put the knife back in the drawer.
If there is a parallel universe to ours - you can't blip over to it by concentrating. All you'll get for your efforts is a headache and the loss of thirty minutes of your life.
Where is the house-cleaning fairy when you need her?