1/10/07

Tiny Dog Rants

Look at me People! Look! At! Me!

Tired.  So Tired.

I'm going fucking BALD! BALD! What in the Sam Hill is the world coming to?

I'll tell you what has caused this abomination. No, I won't tell you, but I'll spell it. F-L-E-A-S (I don't want to say it out loud because we think all of the little bastards are gone and we don't wanna call them back.)

You see my sweet, polka-dotted face? You know how that got all chewed up? I like to sleep with my head jammed in the pit that Stinky dog's back legs make and that also happens to be primo real estate for those-we-shall-not-name. And it seems that I am super allergic to their horrible little bites. It is so hard being such a sensitive dog.

It certainly doesn't help matters that Mama has me in this godforsaken "Florida" place where fleas fucking thrive year round in the great outdoors. I'll be happy to move to Oklahoma where it gets COLD in the WINTER like it's supposed to. And fleas DIE then.

Good grief. I am ever so grateful that the gnawing bastards are gone and that I'm not all scratchy anymore but will my hair ever grow back?

I don't like to go out in public looking like this. My party style is being severely cramped.

The only thing that cheers me is that Mama feels like total shit (as she well should) that this has happened to me and she gives me tasty cheese bits whenever I look at her with my thin haired self.

Fucking F-L-E-A-S. I hope they all die a horrible fiery death.

I'm going to go squeeze out a grudge shit somewhere in the house for the humans to find later.


This post has been presented by one pissed off Tiny Dog.

14 comments:

Sassy said...

I don't have pets BUT this one time when my now almost 11 year old son was about 3 months old, I was holding him in my arms and looking at him sleep. An "aww" moment and then I see this THING on his head. It was a freakin' flea! I think we must have got it from our inlaws who had pets. I was mortified! I hope all of yours have burned in that fiery death you mentioned...lol!

Amy said...

Pooooor Baby! Allergic reactions to anything are terrible. Our Zander (the chaweiner) had such a terrible allergic reaction he had to have cortizone shots, medication, special food, etc. etc. etc. And, it took WEEKS and WEEKS for his hair to grow back. His allergic reaction was to HUMAN FOOD thankyouverymuch to the 3 year old in the house who insisted on feeding him PIZZA!!!

Oh, and fleas... he's allergic to those too.

Anonymous said...

Whoa. There are so many good lines in that post, I don't know where to begin.

Chickie said...

Sassy - It appears that the little buggers are gone. *keeping fingers crossed*

Amy - Oh man, if mine were allergic to human food, they'd commit suicide.

Rich Championable - Tiny can be quite eloquent when the urge strikes.

Joey Polanski said...

Dont count on a cold Oklahomer, Tiny.

Im a couple states NORF o OK, an weer still a-waitin fer Wintr. Wore my Spring jacket tday.

:(

Tiny Dog Oy said...

No, Joey! Say it ain't so! The idea of winters in Oklahoma is what keeps me going! (that and cheese) Waaaaa!

Anonymous said...

Tiny--I am in the market for another dog since my dog Carmen refuses to come to Utah. There are no fleas here. Well, there are a few, but not like in Florida. Pack your stuff and come on out.

Only thing is, you might have to become a Mormon. Oh, and if you are indeed Mexican as your breed implies, you will have to show some papers to the authorities.They are getting a little sticky about that stuff out here.

But hey...no fleas.

Tiny Dog Oy said...

Mike - I'm good with being a Mormon. I would be very happy with many wives. I shall get my papers in order!

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Awwwwww Tiny...You poor Baby...Well, I think you are beautiful with or without hair....I am awfully glad those fleas have gone bye bye, though...And I know you and Stinky are, too! That's some special place you sleep honey...Enjoy! And here's a BIG BIG Hug for you...!

patti_cake said...

Poor poor Tiny, me & Reilly can relate.He's allergic to fleas too. Nevermind we use the most expensive flea treatment the vet has and expensive shampoo to control itching.
Tiny's beautiful personality shines through despite the bald spots.

Thomas Vickers said...

FLEAS worse than suck. Ask the Doom Cake Hounds. They hate the blood sucking fiends.

We do not tolerate them. There is no poison strong enough for us when it comes to fleas. THEY MUST ALL DIE.

TV

Useless Man said...

That thing looks like a wingless bat. Truly Useless.

I think I love it... but it's not manly enough.

Tiny Dog Oy said...

OOLOTH - Thank you for your kind words. It's a good enough place to sleep that I will brave the idea of fleas.

Patti_Cake - I'm glad that people can see my personality and not just my scaly-ass skin!

Thomas Vickers - I like the way you think!

Useless Man - I drink tequila and smoke cigars! How much more manly can I get?

laurie_pooh said...

aww... we also have two tiny chi doggies. You look like my Brownie. Hope the fleas leave you alone and that your hair grows back. It's freezing here in Texas if you'd like to take a little vacation.

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