3/24/07

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Have I mentioned that after eating pain pills Sweety becomes becomes very needy and clingy and he tells me the same stories about how his day went at least eleventy-billion times before he goes to sleep? And once he goes to sleep he snores loud enough to scare the dogs into barking. Did I mention needy and clingy? Like I-need-a-pick-axe-to-beat-his-ass-until-he-shuts-up-and-gets-off-of-me clingy? But he does let me shove the dog in his pants for photos so I'll stop bitching.

I am so freaking glad that Saturday is here. On Thursday I thought that it was Wednesday (one of my days off) when I woke up. It really sucked to realize that I had 2 days of work to go. That sort of thing makes me want to cry. It's like my brain played a mean joke on me.

Speaking of work - When you call your (insert water company, electric company, trash service pick-up, or credit card company here) and the kind customer service person (who is really not in charge of anything and did not cause whatthefuckever thing you are calling about) asks for your name: Give your LAST name too. Don't just say your first name and then act pissy when asked for your last name. And while we're at it - you don't need to spell your name either. I've got a pretty damn good idea of how to spell "Smith".

Something absolutely horrible that I did when I was a teenager: My sister and I told my parents that we wanted to cook them dinner. You know, to be nice. Then we doctored everything up with sleeping pills (they were generic pills. blue. do you know how hard it is to hide blue powder in vanilla ice cream?) and snuck out of the house when they passed out.

Why is it so hard to come up with titles for these stinking posts sometimes?

11 comments:

Casey said...

If I had a spouse I got sloshed, I wouldn't be stuffing a dog in their pants.

Chickie said...

Hey, don't knock the dog stuffing til you've tried it. I found it to be strangely arousing.

Rich | Championable said...

"Did I mention needy and clingy? Like I-need-a-pick-axe-to-beat-his-ass-until-he-shuts-up-and-gets-off-of-me clingy? But he does let me shove the dog in his pants for photos so I'll stop bitching"

Now THAT is balance.

That's a pretty amazing story you stuck in at the end, there... did you get in HUGE amounts of trouble?

Chickie said...

Acutally, we didn't get in any trouble. We didn't get caught. A couple of years ago we told our Mom about it and she was properly horrified.

Mike said...

I wish I would have thought of that damned sleeping pill thing when I was a kid. It would have made sneaking out so much easier.

Joey Polanski said...

As fer a title, try Sominex & Old Lace.

Midwestern City Boy said...

I wonder what Sweety will do to you the next time you are on meds and a little loopy? Or is he too afraid of your thoughtbeams to try anything.

Chickie said...

Mike - We only did that once. We were afraid that we might accidentally kill them.

Joey Polanski - Hey, do you want a job coming up with blog post titles? I'll pay you in sunshine.

Midwestern City Boy - Sweety is generally very nice to me when I don't feel good. I'm trying to return the favor. I think he's become immune to my thoughtbeams since he's been so close to them for so long. Kind of like living next to a nuclear power plant.

Regal said...

I love Stinky! (But I know I've said that before). That is too damn funny - slipping your parents a "mickey". Why didn't I ever think of that!

Chickie said...

Regal - It's probably a good thing to grow up and NOT drug your parents. Congratulations to you! :)

Ginamonster said...

I just forgot what I was going to say.

Oh yeah. indefense of those of us who always spell our names for the CSR's, You would believe how many ways a person can spell Gina.

But having been a CSR, I understand how you feel.

You should have given them Bubble Gum ice cream. except that grownups don't like it.

mmm. bubble gum ice cream. damn it. now I want ice cream. fuck.