Shut Up!

Sweet, tiny, eight and a half pound baby Jesus, with your golden diaper on...

Why, oh why, do the boys pick at each other so much? AAAAAAGGGGGHHHH! I just had to go break up a domestic dispute.
(sounds of fighting and fucking whiiiiiining in the background)

Hey! You guys stop picking at each other!

Okay. But it's so much fun to pick on LittleBrother!
No shit kid, I too was an older sibling and delighted in tormenting my sister but I was smart enough to do it out of the earshot of my parents.

My first impulse was to find the broom and beat his ass with it when he said that to me. Does he not recognize that he is dealing with a woman who is on the edge? I wonder how long it would take to bake and eat them both?

Ha, ha. Just kidding. I wouldn't eat them. Children are too tough to eat after about 3 years old anyway.

I must find some way to decompress soon.

Excuse me while I smack my head on the keyboard.


Sara Sue said...

Damn girl, get y'self a babysitter and go out with that sweetie man of yours ... SOON!

Casey said...

Much like goats, humans are best consumed while they're still kids.

Chickie said...

Sara Sue - I'm working on that. Hopefully, we'll do something this weekend.

Casey - Ha! You slay me!

Mike said...

I used to push my sister into the door an then loudly say something like..."Oh you poor thing. You ran into the door."

It worked until my Dad saw me push her into the door.

Chickie said...

My sister used to stand across the room from me and start to cry like I'd hit her when I actually hadn't touched her. Then she'd keep up with the crying behind my Mom's back and smile evily while I was getting in trouble.

But I guess I kind of deserved it for all the mean things that I did to her when nobody was around.

kat said...

"Sweet, tiny, eight and a half pound baby Jesus, with your golden diaper on..."

hahahah! I LOVE it!!!

Boys will be boys and it doesn't get any better as they get older.
Just start drinking more, or get earplugs. Or keep the broom nearby.

~*Kelli*~ said...

OMFG! I say this DAILY! They are so freakin' MEAN to each other. DAYUM! I just scream at them sometimes: "SHUT UP!" (and that's a REALLY effective way to discipline, btw!)

On a side note, since you always tell funny dog stories: my big husky just walked over to the pantry, grabbed a bag of Cheetos, squeezed them between his paws, popped the bag, laid down on the floor and ate them. OMFG! It was HILARIOUS!

The Phosgene Kid said...

You have the advantage here - the kids don't know that you won't kill them and eat them - use that!!

patti_cake said...

Yeah you definitely need some free time - just like me! Hmmmm too bad we can't lay on a beach somewhere together and have Sweety and Stacy bring is nice cool alcoholic beverages with umbrellas and BB,LB & Madison can play in a nice supervised kiddie waterpark.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Nobody did mean amd evil tgings like you all describe in our house, I'm happy to say...You need a weekend away with Sweety...!

I LOVE your New Animated Meltdown thingy at the bottom of each post! LOL, LOL. Where did you find that, my dear? SAme place as the tongue sticking out one? It is wonderful and I get it! (lol)

Chickie said...

Kat - I think that I will start all 3 of your suggestions.

Kelli - I try not to scream at them because it just makes my head hurt. The evil eye works pretty good.

You better watch out - your dogs are probably planning a revolution!

The Phosgene Kid - I'm waiting for just the right time to pull out that card. The time is getting near, I think.

Patti_Cake - That sounds like a grand idea!

Lady of the Hills - I'm definitely ready for some alone time with Sweety. It can't get here soon enough!

I don't know where I stole that animation from but I've been saving it for just the right thing!