Holler From The House

Hello, Internet. Tiny Dog here. Stinky and I are going on day 8 of being home alone and let me tell you, we have been some partying motherfuckers. It's a damn good thing that Stinky and me are uterus free or there's no telling what kind of surprise Mama would get when (if?) she comes home.

I knew that Mama was going away when she started shoving everything she owns into these boxes.


I tried to stow away and go with her but it didn't work. I need to work on crunching myself into a smaller ball so she doesn't see me.

Mama called and talked to me and said she is having much fun and that she misses me more than words can express. What.Ever. Bitch. Leaves me home alone with nobody to love me properly and then says she misses me. For some reason, her sentiments of missing me rang hollow.

How can she be missing me when Papa has her undivided attention? I think he's pretending to be a gang member here. Dork.

East Coast rules

I've had a lot of time to think over the past week or so and I've come to the conclusion that my owners are damn fools. Maybe I'm just feeling bitter.

I found out that Mama got to East Texas today and finally got to some real internet service. Well, it's not the best internet service but it will do. When she was in Oklahoma she only had sporadic cell phone service and no internet. I know that she must be suffering from severe internet withdrawals. Poor Mama. If she'd have just stayed at home with me she wouldn't be missing her internet.

I'm gonna go eat some Stinky Dog eye boogers and have a good humping session on her head.

Tiny Dog out.


Joey Polanski said...

Im sure they thougt o you & Stinky all th while she was in Oklahomr ...

... cause I hear in Oklahomr, evn th people gotta go outside to take a crapski.

bekah said...

psst hey you hey yeah you...

i can't wait to see you next week! seriously! omg i'm already drunk fur it!

well no not tiny dog, i wont see tiny which is just so bad because i lurve me some tiny tiny dog. so tiny, that dog is. tiny tiny dog. TTD!

anyway, chickie, yeah you. i'm excited about next weekend.

Regal said...


Mike said...

Tiny, just hop a greyhound (bus not dog) and come on up here. Carmen will take care of you. Have you eaten any walls out of revenge for being left alone? I would if I were you.

Sara Sue said...

Tiny, can you please ask your mama to make a movie of you humping Stinky's head?

Tell Mama we miss her and don't let Papa become one of those Texas gang members. I know being a member of the Bush's cabinet is tempting, but it's not worth your soul.

The Phosgene Kid said...

Everyone likes a little head!!

Happy vacation!!!!

Midwestern City Boy said...

I think that there was once a movie of Tiny dog humping Stinky dog's head. IIRC Stinky was too lazy to move.

Chickie: Enjoy the rest of your time out west with family and friends. I hope the dogs don't leave you any "gifts".

patti_cake said...

Yay for Tiny & Stinky being "Home Alone" and you & Sweety are adorable!

Anonymous said...

Joey Polanski - It is funny that you say that. I heard that Mama did spend a lot of time in an outhouse.

Bekah - I'm excited about next weekend too because she will be coming home!

Regal - Thank you!

Mike - If I could reach the spare change jar to buy a ticket then I would. I dined on no walls but they were tempting.

Sara Sue - I can't be videoed doing such things. That is something that's very special between Stinky and me.

Soul? What soul?

The Phosgene Kid - Aren't vacations great for all sorts of things?

Midwestern City Boy - I think you are remembering this post.

Surprisingly enough, no "gifts" were left.

Patti_Cake - Thank you, we do try!

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

That is the dearest picture of you Tiny...You could definitely find a way to hide yourself under those clothes---just might take a little practice!
She will be home Very Very Soon! Enjoy them Eye Boogers, kiddo!