8/29/07

OMFG

Here's a hypothetical situation for you...

Say you've had a bit to drink and that you are going into your garage to put some trash in the bin and you notice a couple of roaches dancing about. You say to your Sweety significant other, "Hey! What the fuck is going on with all of these bugs?"

And he tells you to check the blue suitcase. (The blue suitcase is where you store a wide variety of latex and silicone sex toys and your medium-sized rabbit fur whip.) You open up the suitcase.

And see a motherfucking roach motel in there. (insert a scream so high pitched that the dogs don't hear it and insert a dance where you nipples get hard and you spin in a circle while trying to get away from the suitcase.) A BIG motherfucking roach motel. Like little shiny roach armor running from the light and deep into the rabbit fur whip when you crack the suitcase open.

After you almost vomit in the garbage disposal, Sweety your significant other tells you that he peeked in the suitcase a couple of weeks ago after seeing roaches go into it and decided to leave it for you to find since you told him "no" when he asked you then if he should throw it out.

I did not know it was some sort of test when he said that we needed to throw some things out and should he toss the blue suitcase. I thought it was a jab at our sex life that was not up to par.

Tomorrow (later today?) I'll reply to comments left on previous posts. This needed to be expunged from my system.

17 comments:

Joey Polanski said...

I think that round goes to Sweety.

Sara Sue said...

For the love of all that is funny, please post a pic!!

Midwestern City Boy said...

You and your significant other are made for each other. Incidents like this prove it.

Cissy Strutt said...

Hooray! An excuse to splurge on some new sex toys. Then try them out.

Regal said...

O M F G is right! Ew! but LOL

jedimacfan said...

Sounds like there's enough for everyone to smoke.

Chickie said...

Joey Polanski - I concur.

Sara Sue - I can't bring myself to open it back up. We double trash bagged the suitcase and while part of me is dying to drag it into the light and open it up to take a good look, I know my mind doesn't need to have that image burned into it.

Midwestern City Boy - Yeah, I can't imagine that there's anyone else out there that would get along with me in such a manner. That is probably a good thing!

Cissy Strutt - That's what I thought too!

Regal - I still can't LOL about it. The trauma is too fresh.

JediMacFan - Heh, wrong kind of roaches.

heather said...

but now that you threw them out do you get new toys? lol

patti_cake said...

Ack... so may we just assume you have some kinky roaches down there in FL?

Thomas said...

Cool.
I always leave bugs for the wife.
Nothing like watching the bug freak dance while sipping a cold beer

TV

BO Snagley said...

got any video of that dance?

Chickie said...

Heather - Yeah, so I guess every cloud has a silver lining!

Patti_Cake - Kinky like you wouldn't believe. No wonder they multiply so fast.

Thomas - That is just not right.

Bo Snagley - Thankfully not. Sweety wouldn't have been able to hold a camera still anyway for all the shaking he was doing while laughing.

Ginamonster said...

You traumatize me.

Chickie said...

Ginamonster - Trust me, this post doesn't even begin to convey my horror.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
HORRIBLE BEYOND BELIEF...OOOOOOOEEEEWWWWWW

Doesn't said...

Geez, now I'm scared to look in my toy drawer!

Chickie said...

Lady of the Hills - Well spoken!

Doesn't - You should be safe as long as you keep the drawer inside and look in there regularly.