Post #930

Sheesh. I almost overslept today. After dropping the kidlets off at school and running some errands, I realized that I was still tired and my eyes were all burny. So I set my alarm clock and laid down for a nap. It wasn't easy falling asleep because I don't have any earplugs (more on that in a moment) but when I went to sleep it was hard. I awoke in a panic about 2 minutes before I needed to leave the house to stake out a spot in the drive-through-and-pick-up-your-kid line at the school. Seems I'd set the clock for the time I wanted to get up but then neglected to turn it on. Nice.

Last night I was super tired and we went to bed early (for us) at around 10:30. I woke up to Sweety feeling frisky and trying to convey this to me by humping me like he was Tiny Dog. I don't remember much of it but it went over for him like a turd in a punchbowl. He said he did it twice and that I beat him up. I remember thinking, "Good grief, I am tired. I must let him know that I'm not playing hard to get. He's not getting access." before my arms and legs started flailing about. Before we went to bed, we were watching Tiny hump Stinky all over the house and Sweety said he dreamt of that and had the urge to do it when he woke. How fucking disturbing is that, people? I'm going to make it a point to at least suck his dick every night so all of the poison comes out and maybe he won't have such dreams.

About the earplugs - during the nighttime melee, they fell out. I can't find them anywhere now so that means that Tiny had them for a midnight snack. Awhile back, I found one alongside a pile of poo and realized that I needed to be vigilant about keeping them away from her. I hope they pass easily. Now I've gotta go to the store and get some more because I can not sleep without them.

You can't see it too good since I was being all sneaky with the camera phone, but this is the COAEW and she didn't get the memo that it's in style anymore (or maybe it is and I'm behind the times?) to wear a black bra under a thin white shirt. Does this bitch think she's Madonna? I don't think there's anything wrong with maybe showing some of your underwear as outerwear when you go out but I don't think a good going out time is your kid's Little League game when it's 100 degrees outside so the shirt/bra contrast is marred because you have nice little sweat stains all over the shirt where your muffin top meets your back.

This was at LittleBrother's(10) baseball game on Saturday. The game before us was running late so I had time to sit there and look at the back of her greasy head. I tried to get pictures of when she was beating her two-year old's ass but couldn't whip the phone out in time. If you feel the need to spank multiple times in a 10 minute time span, then I think you're doing something wrong. I finally left my seat in the stands because her kid is so freaking all over the place and sat in a chair by the dugout. It will be my regular spot for the rest of the season. She must be really proud of the white shirt/black bra combo because she wore it last night to LB's Open House too. Looking at the shiny black bra made me want to reach out and give her a titty twister til the nips came off.

I was just thinking...

How neat would it be to be so fat that I could hide Tiny Dog and Chi Chi in my rolls? You know, just kind of stuff them in my side meat. I'll bet Chi Chi would love it. Dunno about Tiny because she likes to see what is going on.

Do you think it would be too weird to taxidermy a dog?


Jeni said...

You know some people only have 1 bra. They wear it everyday over and over again. This looks to be an great example.

It's not weird to taxidermy a dog, however, I personally feel like THIS will be the best way to go for my children.

Chickie said...

Jeni - I hadn't thought maybe that is her only one. Somehow, I don't think so. It is rare to see her in the same outfit more than once or twice. But if you were going to just have one, wouldn't you get it in a neutral color?

I love that idea for urns! I've been looking at cremation too but hadn't seen anything like that. I said taxidermy but what I meant was freeze drying.

Sara Sue said...

Hey! That first dog in the freeze dried section looks like Mike's daughter's new dog!

COAEW could hide the dogs in her side fat.

Jeni said...

I have thought about it all night and I'm torn on the freeze dried thing.

On the one hand, I could have my children forever. On the other. . .wouldn't I just seem nuts.

"Hey, you're cat seems like she isn't breathing"

"Oh, she isn't. That's just her freeze dried body"

And what about the ones left behind? Would Landon hump it? Would Jake bat it around the house?

I think they whole thing could turn out quite badly.

patti_cake said...

the COAEW looks like a troll! *snicker*
Taxidermy a dog.. un I don't think so!

Chickie said...

Sara Sue - I noticed the resemblance to Jackie's dog too. Maybe it is hers? I'm thinking that freeze dried is the way to go with pets, period.

My dogs would bite her. They are loyal like that. Well, Chi Chi is. Tiny met COAEW once and loved her. I almost smothered Tiny.

Jeni - I understand what you're saying. Part of me would really love to have Chi Chi around so I could scratch her tummy forever but I picture myself carrying her corpse around the house, kissing its head and that just seems wrong.

Sweety and I were talking about doing that to Stinky dog so Tiny could always have her around but I'm afraid it would upset her. It might be fun for her to snuggle with a freeze dried Stinky but then her feelings would probably be hurt when Stinky won't get up and play with her.

I worry way to much about my pets. I should just bury them in the backyard when the time comes and be done with it.

Patti_Cake - Not only does she look like one, she is their Queen.

You wouldn't want to have your doggy around forever? Use it as a bookend or door stop?

Regal said...

I used to joke about taxidermy-ing my dog (it was the ex's dog before we met but me and the dog were sooo close) when he died and then told the ex (when we were married) that when "Max" died I wanted his ashes. Well Max was on his way out one day and I wasn't around and the ex had to take him to the vet to be put down and they asked if he wanted his ashes and he said YES because he was afraid I'd kill him if he didn't but wasn't happy because of the cost. When we divorced he took the ashes and I was so mad because he did it for me and was creeped out by it.

Chickie said...

Regal - Taking the ashes was just plain mean. I'll bet he doesn't even know where he's put them up either.