Sheesh. I almost overslept today. After dropping the kidlets off at school and running some errands, I realized that I was still tired and my eyes were all burny. So I set my alarm clock and laid down for a nap. It wasn't easy falling asleep because I don't have any earplugs (more on that in a moment) but when I went to sleep it was hard. I awoke in a panic about 2 minutes before I needed to leave the house to stake out a spot in the drive-through-and-pick-up-your-kid line at the school. Seems I'd set the clock for the time I wanted to get up but then neglected to turn it on. Nice.
Last night I was super tired and we went to bed early (for us) at around 10:30. I woke up to Sweety feeling frisky and trying to convey this to me by humping me like he was Tiny Dog. I don't remember much of it but it went over for him like a turd in a punchbowl. He said he did it twice and that I beat him up. I remember thinking, "Good grief, I am tired. I must let him know that I'm not playing hard to get. He's not getting access." before my arms and legs started flailing about. Before we went to bed, we were watching Tiny hump Stinky all over the house and Sweety said he dreamt of that and had the urge to do it when he woke. How fucking disturbing is that, people? I'm going to make it a point to at least suck his dick every night so all of the poison comes out and maybe he won't have such dreams.
About the earplugs - during the nighttime melee, they fell out. I can't find them anywhere now so that means that Tiny had them for a midnight snack. Awhile back, I found one alongside a pile of poo and realized that I needed to be vigilant about keeping them away from her. I hope they pass easily. Now I've gotta go to the store and get some more because I can not sleep without them.
You can't see it too good since I was being all sneaky with the camera phone, but this is the COAEW and she didn't get the memo that it's in style anymore (or maybe it is and I'm behind the times?) to wear a black bra under a thin white shirt. Does this bitch think she's Madonna? I don't think there's anything wrong with maybe showing some of your underwear as outerwear when you go out but I don't think a good going out time is your kid's Little League game when it's 100 degrees outside so the shirt/bra contrast is marred because you have nice little sweat stains all over the shirt where your muffin top meets your back.
This was at LittleBrother's(10) baseball game on Saturday. The game before us was running late so I had time to sit there and look at the back of her greasy head. I tried to get pictures of when she was beating her two-year old's ass but couldn't whip the phone out in time. If you feel the need to spank multiple times in a 10 minute time span, then I think you're doing something wrong. I finally left my seat in the stands because her kid is so freaking all over the place and sat in a chair by the dugout. It will be my regular spot for the rest of the season. She must be really proud of the white shirt/black bra combo because she wore it last night to LB's Open House too. Looking at the shiny black bra made me want to reach out and give her a titty twister til the nips came off.
I was just thinking...
How neat would it be to be so fat that I could hide Tiny Dog and Chi Chi in my rolls? You know, just kind of stuff them in my side meat. I'll bet Chi Chi would love it. Dunno about Tiny because she likes to see what is going on.
Do you think it would be too weird to taxidermy a dog?