On Your Mark! Get Set! Um, What Was That?

The sun rose bright and promising this morning. It seemed like the perfect day for Tiny Dog to kick ass and take names at the Chihuahua Race. We've been training for a couple of weeks and thought we were ready. The plan was that Sweety would let a hungry Tiny Dog know that he had a piece of beef jerky for her at the finish line and she would sprint to it and bring us fame and glory. It didn't go quite as planned.


See that little bit of white in the middle of the circle? That's Tiny Dog's belly facing the sky after I launched her out of the start gate and into a somersault. It was a grievous error on my part and she was not able to recover. (It also didn't help that the guy in the yellow shirt at the end of the gate had a pocketfull of dog treats. When the gate opened, a few of the dogs on our end made a beeline to him.) She was a bit disoriented after she righted herself and wanted to come back to me instead of going towards the finish line. Needless to say, she finished in last place.

The lady next to Sweety saw Tiny go ass over teakettle and sarcastically said to him, "Well, wasn't that a fine start?". Heh, that bitch's dog didn't win either. Neener-neener.

But we learned a lot. We'll be ready to smoke the competition next year. Next year, Tiny Dog and Chi Chi will both be entered. I think Chi Chi's poor eyesight and excellent hearing would work to our advantage. She couldn't see the other dogs to be freaked out by them and could hear Sweety yell "treat!" over all of the noise.

If you watch closely, you can see Tiny do the flip right after the gate is opened. We're in lane 10 - the one fartherest to the right.

Here's the link if you can't see the pathetic video above.


Rich | Championable said...

Oh. My. God.

Mike said...

Sorry to laugh at Tiny's misfortune, but OMG is that funny. Poor thing. I hope she got some extra special treatment for sacrificing her dignity like that.

Chickie said...

Rich Championable - The more I think about how it looked to everyone else - me throwing Tiny...the more embarassed I get.

Mike - Oh yes. She is getting extra love and I'm having to do a lot of groveling. I honestly think she was feeling humiliated when we left because she wouldn't hold her head up and wouldn't quit sighing.

Thomas said...

You are one cruel dog momma.
Of course I have long dreamed of racing the Iditirod (sp?) with nothing more than a team of 50 pekingnese.

Us dog owners are a sick bunch of fucks


PS I can't stop laughing at Tiny.

Pink said...

Oh poor tiny dog. The shame of it!

Well, on the lighter side..it looks like the humans had a hilariously good time :)


here today, gone tomorrow said...

Oh..oh...poor Tiny!!! She'll do much, much better next year.

themom said...

I certainly hope you gave Tiny a medal of some kind - what a brave little dog with such an abusive mommy!! Tossed into the fray without a a clue. Tiny, I will send you a mapquest with directions to my house - if you ever decide to head North.

bekah said...

It's only because you guys failed to wear your Team Oy shirts.

The Phosgene Kid said...

Saw chihuahuas this weekend too at a pet fair. Cute little buggers.

Patti said...

Oh jesus Chickie I am sitting here laughing until my stomach hurts. I am so sorry, abject apologies to Tiny Dog as well. I have to come see this live and in person this year (and I will personally be packin' a stickpin in case some bitch makes a snarky comment about one of your dogs). I'll be the enforcer bitch! Yeah!

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Damn! I couldn't see her do her somersault! Well, Tiny's heart was in the right place....! And I'm rooting for her for next year...LOL! It was really really cute to see all these little dogs running around...! LOL! I LOVE that you entered her in this contest. And I think we shoild ALL be wearing T-Shirts to Cheer Her On---even if we are far away....!

Pusher Robot said...

Lesson learned: Gonna have to throw Tiny a lot harder to get anywhere NEAR the finish line! Tiny might need a helmet.

Chickie said...

Thomas - Dude, I would fucking love to run the Iditarod with a bunch of tiny dogs. Can you imagine how nice it would be to snug up in the snow with 50 dogs on top of you? Bliss, I say.

Pink - The humans did have a large time. It surprised me that the boys were so good about rooting for her. Tiny is finally starting to forget the humiliation.

here today, gone tomorrow - Most definitely. Now that I know exactly what the track is made of, we will be able to duplicate it next year a few months before the race. That should give us a leg up on the competition.

themom - Tiny requested bacon instead of a medal. She's easy like that. She also said to look for her Julyish. She's going to make a break for it then.

bekah - I know! I know! If I'd have known how many other nutjobs would be there, dressed to the nines to support their dogs (there were even some people carrying big ol' banners), I would have went all out. Next year!

The Phosgene Kid - Aren't they? There were some puppies there and it gave me the itch.

Patti - Yes! You can be part of Team Oy! I will make you a shirt. Bring Stacy and Maddie and I will hook everyone up! Then we can come home and have a pool party to celebrate Tiny's victory. Or we can come back and drown our sorrows.

Lady of the Hills - You can't see her do the somersault too well. It's more like a quick blur. It happened pretty fast because I shoved the shit out of her. You are on my shirt list for next year. I hope you like glitter.

Pusher Robot - That is exactly what Sweety said! He noticed in the rules that there was nothing about throwing your dog.