Dreading the Weekend

I am truly not looking forward to having Saturday AND Sunday off. Since I had to work Tuesday night I'm getting Sunday off. All the kids are gonna be here and I have to help BB(10) with his class project. I just know that tears and bloodshed will ensue. Maybe it will go smoothly. Maybe his 10 year old self will be able to effortlessly crank out a 500 work essay on the black death. Maybe we'll pick him up from his Mom's on Saturday morning and she will have helped him get that part of it done. Maybe tiny golden squirrels will come out next time I blow my nose. I doubt she even realizes that he has a project.

It's bad when you'd rather go to work than stay home with your family. I wonder if I'd feel any differently if they were my own kids. Probably not. I went through a crisis awhile back where I was all freaked out because the boys really got on my nerves sometimes. I thought I just didn't love them enough because I didn't birth them. I didn't do anything outwardly so they knew when they were bugging me. I actually went overboard on being nice if I was feeling mean/grouchy so nobody would know. But Sweety picked up on my psychic SOS that I was sending out and sat me down and needled me til I told him what was the matter. When I finally told him my fears he laughed at me and told me that it was okay to wish they would just go away sometimes. That he loved them to pieces and sometimes they got on his nerves too. I was afraid that if they were my own kids I'd love them and be happy with them all the time and it would be sunshine and light 24/7 and that the negative feelings I sometimes had were the result of me being an evil stepmother.

It's nice to know that even though I spend my free time trying to kill some people with my thought beams that I'm not TOTALLY bad.

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