Wasted Day

I don't think I got one thing accomplished today. The house looks like a fucking bomb blew up in it. I've got little arts and crafts bits strewn about the living room. But no lanyard. Maybe I'll get some sleep and give it another go tomorrow. Highly unlikely.

Didn't go exercise today. Today was the day the other half of our counter top in the kitchen was installed so I had to stay awake til they got here and went to sleep after that. The counters look nice. Now I have no excuse to not decorate the kitchen.

I'm not a good decorator. I've been here almost 4 years now and the only room I've really redone is the boys' bathroom. In the living room I've taken down all the old stuff that the EW had there but I haven't put anything new in its place. It's on my dusty to-do list. One of the problems is that we can't agree on how to decorate. In the living room right now the only stuff on the walls is this huge collage of pictures of the boys. I want to take them down and move them to a different wall an put up a big painting of Starry Night. With just a few of their pictures on the living room wall. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to have one room in the house that's not over taken with family photos. Maybe I am being unreasonable but I don't think so. But we can't even agree on a decorating scheme so I guess it doesn't matter.

Saw the EW at school today when I was picking up Sylvie. There was a meeting with BB's(10) teacher and she was there. I was glad to see her. My evil mind powers work better if I can look right at the person. She should be suffering from a severe headache right now. And her toddler should be shrieking in her ear as well.

I lost my temper tonight. Sylvie(5) kept shoving something in my face (while i was trying to figure out how to braid a damn lanyard) that she wanted me to do and after about the 7th time it sent me over the edge. I told her in a very over enunciated way that if she did it one more time that I would never EVER make anything for her. Why do I have to be dramatic to make a point? I'm glad that the boys are able to read the looks I give them. With one cut of my eyes they know that they are thisclose to having their heads pinched off and they will behave. I don't have Sylvie trained in that manner yet. One of the things I'm glad of is that the boys are pretty well behaved. We have always been able to go anywhere in public and not have to worry about them acting all crazy. It made stepmotherhood easier knowing that when I took them to the grocery store or wherever that they knew to mind me. If they hadn't been so good, I don't know if I would have been able to stay. We had our rough patches when I first moved here but we all seem to work well together now.

I promised the little ones that I would eat lunch with them tomorrow. This really is the last time for me til at least the last week of school. I derive no pleasure from listening to the clatter of 200 forks. It sounds like what feeding time at the zoo would be like if you gave a bunch of chimps silverware. LB(8) likes to eat outside alone with me and visit but Sylvie(5) enjoys the whole cafeteria experience. At least I only have to be inside for one lunch.

Now that I have the go ahead to dog shop I'm having a hard time. I feel bad that if I get a dog then BB won't get to get one over here. I think once I get mine settled in then I can talk Sweety into another one. I'm thinking of a shih tzu. I had one when I lived in TX and he would have been the perfect dog for BB. He was a rough little guy and loved to play catch. I told Sweety if I'd have know I was going to meet him and have a family I wouldn't have given him away. I gave him away about 6 months before I met Sweety cause I wasn't home enough and he was lonely.

Guess I'll go ignore my mess.