Setting: Me squeezing my fat ass into some jeans and Sweety is peeking at me from the bathroom door.

Me: Blah, blah, blah. (just trying to make small talk so he doesn't notice the gymnastics I'm doing to squeeze into the pants)

And I finally get them on.

Him: Wow. You should get a job as a structural engineer. Or a mass transit consultant.

Me: You know, calling your wife fat is one way to NEVER GET SEX AGAIN.

Him: I didn't say the f-word. I know you hate your job and it seems that you have definite talent in other areas.

Then he closes to door to do his "thinking" on the toilet.

Really, what's not to love?


Pissy Britches said...

You crack my shit up.
My husband called me Bucket Head tonight so don't feel bad.

Chickie said...

pissy britches - Bucket Head? I like that. I may have to use it on Sweety the next time a nugget falls out of his mouth.

txsm said...

Men are just so sweet, aren't they. I always warn 'Gomer' to be careful not to flush any brain cells when he is doing his "toilet thinking"...LOL!!!!

Midwestern City Boy said...

This is just too funny. I don't know where Seeety gets his sense of humor but its classic. You must have a great sense of humor too. If I said something like that I'd be in DEEP dodo.

Chickie said...

txsm - What is it with men and their "office"? That's the first place the newspaper goes in the morning. I prefer to read on the couch.

mcb - Sometimes I think his momma dropped him on his head. He is lucky that I'm hard to offend!

Chookooloonks said...

As a person with a structural engineering degree who has done many a gyration to get into ill-fitting jeans, I needed to delurk to tell you your husband may be right.

Hey, it's not a bad thing. My structural engineering degree has helped me get into countless pairs of pants over time -- and unfortunately, increasingly more often in recent years ....

(...he's hilarious!)

Joe Fuel said...

Ah yes, thinking on the throne. Sounds like your husband and I might be able to get along.

bekah said...

Yeah right, like you'd stop having sex with him. You're the one who talks about his enormous penis... haha he knows you can't say no to it, I bet.

Chickie said...

chookooloonks - It's getting to the point where I may need an advanced degree to shimmy into the jeans! Thanks for delurking!

joe fuel - What is up with that? When I've gotta go I try and be discreet about it. I don't announce my trip to the toilet.

bekah - You know you are right. But who says I'd have to let him finish? I could just get mine and then run away.

bekah said...

I can see it now, "Oh, damn, that was great, but NOT FOR YOU, BITCH!" you scream as you run nekked down the hallway.

Chickie said...

bekah - Wow, you must have heard me rehearsing in the mirror!