Helloooooo, Internet! I love you!

I've been having the hardest effing time getting online. My computer took a total shit on me about 24 hours ago and I couldn't get online yesterday morning. Totally pissed me off. I admit it: I am an internet junkie. I can't help it. I think what I really need to do is reformat the computer and reinstall everything but I'm afraid that I'll kill the computer and it will never work again.

The past two days I've woken from my sleep thinking that it was Saturday. And then realized that it was a workday. I'm glad that Saturday really is here.

Agh! Shut up, Tiny dog! Silly bitch is barking at me. Doesn't she know it's 3:30 a.m. and Sweety is asleep? What's she trying to do? Get us in trouble? Just go chew on my sparkly underwear and be quiet.

Everybody's all worried about Hurricane Wilma. I'm just gonna ignore it. There's no sense in getting all riled up about it if we aren't leaving. The worst that should happen to us is a power outage. The hurricanes last year took care of all of our trees so none of those will fall on the house.

And in regards to my 2 truths and a lie -

The lie is that I can touch my nose with my tongue. I can't. My tongue is a shortie.

But I did wreck someone's house in high school. When I was 17 I had a friend who was 15 or 16 and she was "dating" some guy that was hitting 40. He was just totally using her and she was stupid and didn't see it. I got all pissed off one day after he'd hurt her feelings again and I knew he wouldn't be home that night so I completely trashed his house. I don't think there was anything left unbroken in there when I was done. And I peed on his bed (i tried to give him a number 2 but couldn't produce that on demand). And I never told my friend because I was afraid she'd tell him. I heard he spent the whole next day dragging his broken shit to the curb. I like enjoying my revenge quietly.

A drink was sent to me by someone famous in a bar (he did have a video on CMT) I was with some friends at a place he was playing at and the waitress brought me over a shot and told me that someone bought it for me. Now, whenever I'd go out, I wouldn't let guys buy drinks for me because then I felt like I had to talk to them. So I told her to take it back and she wouldn't. She pointed at the stage and said the he'd sent it and she couldn't take it back. So she left it on the table and at some point I did drink it. After the show I was outside waiting for my friend to come out and he came over and asked me if I wanted to him to autograph anything. I was kinda mildly drunk and grouchy so I just looked at him like he was crazy and asked if he saw me holding anything to be signed. He offered to let me check out his tour bus but I declined. Ah, my brush with fame...

Time for bed. I must get up early tomorrow and bond with my family so Sweety doesn't grouch about me sleeping all day.