11/10/05

Carpet: Go Eff Yourself.

In response to some of the HNT comments...

Does liposuction hurt?
Does a bear shit in the woods? It was the most horrific pain that I've ever subjected myself to. It was done with local anesthesia. Once I was anesthesized I didn't feel anything but it hurt like hell when they were poking under my skin with the wand thingy that had the numbing stuff and fat melting stuff in it. If I hadn't already paid for it, I would've ran out the front door in my paper thong and not completed the surgery. But I am pleased enough with the new shape of things that I'd have done it even if I'd have known how much it was going to hurt.

And as far as fake boobs go I don't want to install some globes on my chest; I want to reduce and perkify what I've already got.

It was Tiny dog that went into the pressure cooker not her poop. She was very determined and managed to rock the cooker off the stove and onto the floor. She has locked herself into the pantry and is pleading for amnesty. Negotiations are underway.

The livingroom carpet has been cleaned for a second time and it finally looks halfway decent. With all the money that's been spent on the machine and the cleaning solution I could've just bought new carpet. As I was cleaning the nasty carpet I kept thinking to myself "Fucking lazy ass exwife. Maybe if she'd have done this once or twice it wouldn't be such a mess now." I wonder if her ears were burning today?

The weekend won't get here soon enough.

10 comments:

bekah said...

They're probably burning from all those thoughtbeams you're sending her way, not just because you kept thinking about her, but because you're willing her head to roll off her shoulders.

BO Snagley said...

maybe your next hnt could be that paper thong.

Chickie said...

Bekah - I don't want it to roll; I was thinking along the lines of "explosion".

Bo Snagley - Unfortunately that is not a possibility, I turned it into a sailboat as I was leaving the doctor's office.

BO Snagley said...

i am sure if you asked the doctor nicely they would loan you another, as long as you promise to bring it back.

Chickie said...

Bo Snagley - I'll see what I can work out.

anne arkham said...

I've worn paper thongs before. They are NOT flattering. I don't care how buff you are; you're going to look like shit in a paper thong.

Midwestern City Boy said...

I didn't know liposuction was so painful. They can keep their fat melting/anesthetizing thing to themselves.

Chickie said...

Anne Arkham - No lie there. I know it was to preserve modesty but it really didn't do that either. I'd have rather been naked and not looked like I was wearing a defective diaper.

MCB - I didn't know it was going to be so painful either. They had to peel me off the ceiling to finish the job.

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