Setting: Bedtime. Just getting settled in.
Him: This is the hardest part of your new schedule for me.
Me: What? Don't you like having me here?
Him: Well, yes. But I can't fart now before I go to sleep.
Me: Sorry. You'll adjust.
Him: I'll just get all fat and bloated from holding it in I guess.
Me: That's okay. I'll stick you in your bloated belly with a short knife in the morning like you have to do with bloated cows and then you'll be good as new!
Him: (The only sound is his feet hitting the floor as he runs to eat a handful of Rolaids.)
I think the togetherness is getting to me.