Hide Your Dick, Sweety (& Other Thoughts)

Cause Tiny dog was watching me service it this morning and now she's dying to get a bite.

Tiny is always trying to pull our ears off or get inside our mouths. I think she does this because she sees us put food in there so she thinks our heads are like pantries where all the groceries go.

This morning, out of the corner of my eye, she was watching me doing one of my wifely duties for Sweety before he went to work. Then she got really interested and moved closer to get a better view. I started to say something but I didn't want to ruin his train of thought. And then afterwards she just kept slinking around with her ears pinned back, following (stalking?) Sweety all over the place.

He better not run around the house naked because I know what is next on her to-do list.

I was reading Oldoldlady of the Hills and her talking about her bears reminded me of mine so I thought I'd share them.

Blue, Softy & Alien

This is Blue, Softy, and Alien. (very original names, eh?) After Sweety and I first met he sent Blue to me at my job. In my old job sometimes people would be unhappy and when I saw the big box my first thought was that it was something unpleasant inside. When my coworker (and very good friend, e) saw the bear she got more excited than me and toted it around so people could look at it. The second bear, Softy, is one that Sweety found in Target when he was shopping and he mailed it to me because he knew how I liked to pet soft stuff. I think it's my favorite bear. And Alien is what I got for him a couple of years ago on Valentine's Day. The sash says "You're not vanilla underneath!" because he looks all normal on the outside but inside he is really a class A freak and I like that.

Sometimes, we like to leave them in different positions around the house. This one and this one can be found lazing around a lot.

The boys are out of school tomorrow so I think I'm gonna take them to see March of the Penguins. They don't want to go see it but I suffered through Spy Kids 3-D for them so they can nap through this for me.

On Thursday they'll be at their Mom's so we do our Thanksgiving dinner with them on Wednesday. For the past couple of years it's been totally up to them to plan the menu. Usually we eat tacos, cake, ice cream, cookies and soda for dinner. This year they both said they wanted turkey! And mashed potatoes! And stuffing! So after the movie tomorrow we will go get Sweety and go to a nice restaurant where they cook all of those things and have Thanksgiving dinner there. The first year I was down here I cooked the giblet bag inside the turkey and ever since then Sweety has cooked or made arrangements for Thanksgiving dinner. (heh, heh, heh. just do something REALLY BAD one time and then you'll NEVER have to do it again!)

I didn't know I was going to get Thanksgiving off til just a couple of days ago so he and I may go out to eat on that day or stay at home and cook on the grill. I'm kinda leaning towards grilling steaks, drinking tequila, playing rummy and having wild monkey sex all over the place. Gee, I've really got sex on the brain right now. It must have been arranging the bear photo shoot that got me all worked up.


middle aged man said...

you are soooo twisted! :P

Joe Fuel said...

Uhm, March of the Penguins was an awesome movie. My brain cells passed out on Friday, so that's all I've got.

New Girl said...

I am very worried for Sweety.

Thanksgiving sounds like it will be a lot of fun, though!!

Bekah said...

You're so honest it almost hurts.

Anonymous said...

Oh my god your dog is funny. I can totally picture that....lmao
Kinda like my cats when they hear the hum of my "bob"...lmao

Anonymous said...

Shit, that was me, Kat by the way...lol

layman said...

Chickie, you are a sweet, nutty broad.

Sasha said...

i like being watched. and i like watching, too, like tiny there.

you think i have a canine side to me? :)

BO Snagley said...

man those are some horny bears you got at your house.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL LOL LOL!!! Love those bears humping!!! Thanks for invoking my name, Chickie....As always, You give me such a good laugh!
Your soulution to not having to cook on Thanksgiving Day is BRILLIANT!!!
Have a lovely lovely Holiday...!

littlefeet said...

the dog is just too damn funny...


txsm said...

OMG!!! I am still rolling!!!! This is sooo why we chase our cats out of the bedroom.....too funny!!

Chickie said...

MiddleAgedMan - I think that is part of my charm.

Joe Fuel - It looks cool. And I do love the devotion of penguins.

Bad Girl - I'm going to find a nice chew toy for Tiny dog. Maybe it will take her mind off Sweety.

Bekah - But isn't painful honesty fun to read about when it's not your own? :)

Kat - That noise actually freaks Tiny out. I had a dog that ate one once though.

Layman - I have my moments! :)

Sasha - I bet you and Tiny dog have completely different thoughts when you're watching though. I'm pretty sure she's thinking along the line of "dinner".

Bo Snagley - The bears aren't really that horny. I just told them they better perform or I'd pull their heads off. I can be one mean ass pimp when I have to be.

OOLOTH - You better keep an eye on your bears. They are sneaky little suckers!

Monkey - If the dog were any less cute she'd have been taken to the pound a long time ago. She's more fun to watch than the t.v.

TXSM - It had never bothered me to have them in the room before but I've never seen the little dog with that kind of look in her eye. She's gonna start going in her cage before we get busy.

Jess said...

LMAO! Thats why I wont let my dog or cat watch! Freaks me out if i catch her(the dog) staring at me with those, 'I know what your doing' eyes!

Chickie said...

Jess - It doesn't bug me if Stinky dog Tasha peeks at us but Tiny was just way too interested.

Zube Girl said...

See, I think my cat, Zoey, was a fucking diva in her former life. I can't let her stay in the room when we do the deed or I get changed because she always kind of looks at me with that 'Ew' face, and I can't handle it.

Chatty said...

Ours barks and dances around. It's creepy as hell. Oh, and I meant the dog, not my husband! LOL

Chickie said...

Zube Girl - I'm glad we don't have an inside cat. They seem like they know more.

Chatty - The barking and dancing would be too much to bear.

Midwestern City Boy said...

If I had a dog that was eying my dick then it would have a fast ticket to the pound. I am not waking up with a dog blow job or with a dog trying to bite my dick off.

And the bears are too funny. We arrange our stuffed animals too.