I forgot that when eating these little diet pills and not eating a lot that if I do eat something that is greasy or not so good for me that it will wreak havoc upon my digestive system. Poor innards, they haven't been happy for a couple of days now.

Tomorrow we trek to the land of the overly commercialized theme park to have a family day. My job gave me 2 tickets for Christmas and we had a few that we'd acquired elsewhere so it's a free trip. I hope it doesn't rain and that every stays in a good mood.

Speaking of good moods... LB(9) hasn't been in one. Sweety said he thinks it's puberty. What the fuck ever. I wanted to tape his sullen mouth shut and his eyerolling eyes open on Christmas day. He was pouting because he had to eat a piece of Candy Pie! Can you believe it? This is the kid that wants to go to the candystore in the mall and blow all his money but he doesn't want a piece of pie that tastes like Butterfinger. He makes this screwed up looking face (i call it "the butt face") where he pooches his lips out and just glares. Makes me want to pinch his lips right off. He's happy when he's playing his video game though. I might go invest in enough video games to keep him occupied for the next 6 years.

BB(11) got a Dell DJ Ditty mp3 player. He's been pretty much off in his own little world since opening it. We'd ordered an iPod Nano and then realized it was going to cost an arm and a leg to use the iTunes store to get music so we returned it for this other thing. He's been asking for something like this for a couple of years so he was pretty excited to see it.

I got a coffeepot. It's a nice coffee maker. It does just about everything. If I had a dick, I bet it would suck it. I've been whining to Sweety that I wanted one for months now and he delivered quite well. I'd like to have a cup now but I don't think my guts could handle it. It's black and shiny. Very aerodynamic looking.

And Sweety got to open his gift of a watch. And then I could tell him the story behind it. Sweety's a watch whore so I went and picked out one that I thought he'd like. When I got home with it I realized that he already had one of the same style but the front of the watch was a different color. So I took it back and got a big watch with lots of bells and whistles (because he likes watches that I'd consider ugly, I thought this one would be a winner). That weekend we were at the mall looking at watches and I asked him what he thought of one like it and he said he didn't like it, that it was too ugly. Son of a bitch - I've never heard him say any watch was ugly! So I took watch #2 back and exchanged it for one that I'd seen him admiring. Victory is mine!

He said he felt bad that he got a nice watch for Christmas and I got a coffeepot but I'm pleased with the outcome. Usually he's the one that goes crazy at Christmas and my gift pales in comparison. I'd also told him in March when he got Tiny dog Oy for me that he was excused from gift giving for any holiday for the next 2 years. I had fun petting her and my coffeepot while watching him polish his watch.

Time to go watch March of the Penguins and fold some clothes.


Chuck said...

A dick sucking coffee pot...hmmm...now that would be a break through in home appliance development. What you say me and you come up with a prototype and split the proceeds?!

Sounds like you all had a lovely Christmas!

Sasha said...

here's hoping it doesn't rain on your family day! :)

wow, I'M a watch whore too! nice to know someone who is, too. :)

Chickie said...

Chuck - As soon as I get the design hammered out so it'll suck dick and load the dishwasher at the same time, I'll let you know and you could start building it.

Sasha - I'm keeping my fingers crossed about rain too! Sweety gets absolutely giddy when looking at watches. They have the same effect on him that diamonds have one me.

Chuck said...

Sounds good...be sure to teach it everything you know!!

Chickie said...

Chuck - I can't do that because Sweety might then be tempted to trade me in for the coffeepot. I'll teach it enough to please the masses.

BTExpress said...

I thought my coffee maker was special because it also steams milk, but your idea has that beat by a mile.

Midwestern City Boy said...

The children have Rio Carbon 5 MP3 players. Not as sweet looking as the iPod Nano but still pretty stylish. And I joined an online music store once I got them. I don't buy everything there, but it is nice to just type in the name of a song and download it in seconds.

I don't drink coffee but I volunteer to be a test subject for the prototype of your coffee pot.

Zube Girl said...

What a pain with the watch! Sheesh.

March of Penguins is an AWESOME movie. Or, at least, I loved it.

Chickie said...

BTExpress - As soon as I get a coffepot ready I'll send you one.

MCB - The thing we ended up getting BB wasn't as neat looking as the Nano but it is sturdier. And I like being able to pay one fee for music.

You'd be a guinea pig? Thanks! Your bravery will not go unnoted!

Zube Girl - I was sick of looking at watches by December 25. I didn't get to March of the Penguins yet! Rats. I'm gonna do it later I guess.