1/25/06

Career Change

I'd like to be a pediatric surgeon/orthodontist. So I could install feeding tubes directly into the stomachs of youngsters and wire their jaws shut. Carpentry would be one of my hobbies. I'd make sturdy oak boxes. Boxes with little holes cut in the top that you could cram a feeding tube into. Digging. I'd like to be a good digger too. Holes big enough to stick my big oak, child-size boxes in.

LB(9) decided to hurl a stone at his brother earlier. And then when I confronted them LB said that BB(11) used a bad word. And then a screaming match erupted between the two and I nipped it in the bud by sending them to their rooms and then chewing them out individually. I don't think there will be any more rock throwing or any hint of any kind of inappropriate phrases coming out of anybody's mouth for the next little while.

15 comments:

anne arkham said...

You could have fed them both cat food sandwiches.

Chickie said...

They have very strong jaws. There's no way I could get the sandwich past their lips. That's where the feeding tube would be handy.

Chickie said...

Cat food sandwiches and brussel sprouts. That's what my feeding tubes would be full of.

Amy said...

Kids are just so much freaking fun. Last night Ethan "ACCIDENTALLY" elbowed Kate in the side of the head and then said she deserved it because AFTER he knocked her one she hauled off and slugged him on the top of the head.

Auuughh!!!!!!!!!!

Fuckkit said...

Ohhh so you have to be an orthodontist to wire their jaws shut. Where do I sign up?

Chickie said...

Amy - And I just looooove how excited they get trying to tell you the "truth" of the situation!

Fuckkit - You don't HAVE to be an orthodontist but I'd like that diploma on my wall.

Titus said...

Chickie, I see this as an opportunity. The kids are still young enough that you are in a position to mold their character and prepare them for life. It is a big responsibility; it will be very challenging and, at times very trying. The rewards, though they lie in future, will be well worth the effort. You can do it - I sense in you the instinct to do what is right and the tenacity to see it through.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

OY VEY! As they say....You have your work cut out for you here, but it sounds like you were on top of it!
I like your idea of those boxes and the feeding tube! (LOL,LOL,LOL)
You are too funny, Chickie.

Midwestern City Boy said...

Thats just kids. They get mad AND make up much easier than we do.

Anonymous said...

I don't think there will be any more rock throwing or any hint of any kind of inappropriate phrases coming out of anybody's mouth for the next little while.

Wanna bet? Welcome to raising brothers of only 2 years difference and growing up!
hahahah! I'm gonna be honest and tell you the truth. There will be more rock throwing, more bad words, there will be fist fights and bruises and black eyes and fat lips and on purpose broken toys.
Yes, there will be much much more.

Kat

bekah said...

*sigh*

You haven't learned ANYTHING, have you? You're the one who's supposed throw rocks!

BTExpress said...

I can tell you would understand why I stopped at one of the precious s.o.b.'s

Chickie said...

Titus - Sometimes, it just gets hard, molding children.

And hey, what are you doing at home? :)

OOLOTH - I've learned that if you give kids an inch that they'll take a mile!

MCB - But the whining?! Must they do the whining? Makes my ears bleed.

Kat - Oh shit. I thought maybe this would be the worst. I'll beat 'em with the water hose if they start to fight much more.

Bekah - I try to stay indoors. Not a lot of rocks in here. But I do have some small skillets...

Bonanza Jellybean said...

Bill Cosby said it best:
"Parents are not interested in justice. They want QUIET."

It bacame much funnier when I became a parent.

Chickie said...

Bonanza Jellybean - That is so true. I don't care if they're killing each other as long as they're doing it quietly.