1/15/06
Faith
I realized tonight that I pray more to the soda and vending machines at work than I ever have to any religious deity. I start my prayers in the elevator when I'm on my way to the breakroom and really start in earnest once I've put my money in. When I'm waiting for my bag of chips to fall: Please don't get hung up and not fall! Please, just spit the chips out nicely, Mr. Vending Machine. And if you really want to be nice you could give me two things for the price of one! To the soda machine: Please, have one more can of Coke! Don't tell me that you're out of Coke with your blinking red light! And when my prayer works, I am so grateful that I have to choke back tears. And if it doesn't, I'm don't hold it against the machine. I like to steel myself for not getting the snacks that I want so if I do get them it's a nice surprise. I've discovered I have a better chance of having my prayers answered if I hold my breath from the time I lay eyes on the machine until the snacks are safely in my hands.
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8 comments:
Madam, I have a secret about vending machines. If the item of choice gets stuck on its way out:
1. Place your hands at the top of said machine.
2. Brace yourself against it as if you are about to lunge.
3. Push hard to lift the machine a bit.
4. Let the machine drop to the ground.
That's worked everytime for me. Good luck.
Joe - I've tried that but the machine won't budge. I think it's bolted to the ground. Or I'm a weakling. I'll shove harder next time.
An when th machine denys ya yer snack ... do ya proclaim a day of fastin an tithin?
Oh boy... and I thought I had problems.
;o)
Joey Polanski - Hell no! If the vending machine gods deny me that's a sign to go worship The
Golden Arches or The King on my lunch break.
Amy - Hmmm. I don't know exactly how to take this comment.
Mike - If they take my money and don't deliver the goods I figure that's my donation. I could get my money back but I'd have to file a report with security. That would require too much human interaction to get .75 back.
I go for a spinning heel kick, sometimes I couple.
I do the prayer thing to the coke machine, too. Hee. I might start holding my breath now. Thanks. :)
Zube Girl - Every little bit helps.
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