1/13/06

Sandwich, Anyone?

When I was growing up the kid that lived next door had a crush on me but I didn’t like him. He got on my nerves. I was around 12 and he was a couple of years older than me. He developed a habit of coming over to see if we’d feed him and was just really starting to bug me. (and let me say that it’s not like his family didn’t have the funds for ample food, it was just his excuse to come over) So, one day when I was home alone and he came over I told him to stay on the porch and wait for his sandwich. I went inside and made him a sandwich with canned cat food filling and poured him a soda. He polished off the sandwich and stated that it was the best sandwich he‘d ever eaten. At this point I couldn’t contain myself and told him that it was really cat food and would he quit coming over so damn much. He didn’t believe that I really fed him cat food. I had to show him the empty can and the knife I used to spread it before he believed that he’d really just ingested cat food. He quit mooching for food after that.

20 comments:

Bekah said...

oh my god. that's so funny! you're hilarious. you've been wicked since birth, haven't you??

Chickie said...

Of course. I didn't just get this way overnight.

Bekah said...

you're my idol. i want to be you when i grow up.

Chickie said...

Dude, you're drunk.

KyuBall said...

Hey, if it's good enough for our senior citizens, it's good enough for him! Pass the Mayo!

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

That is funny, Chickie!!!
Have you ever tasted Cat Food??? I haven't and not sure I ever want to, but I love that your neighbor thought it was the best thing he ever ate! (lol)

Joe Fuel said...

Poor little guy...

Joey Polanski said...

Yer lucky. Some guys are so head ovr heel in crush that they simply WONT take cat food fer a anser.

Chickie said...

Kyuball - Make sure you use Miracle Whip.

OOLOTH - I've never tasted it but I have a feeling it tastes like it smells.

Joe Fuel - He ended up in jail later and living in a trailer beside his parents chicken houses. I think I made a good call.

Joey Polanski - My next step was to saute some worms.

Joe Fuel said...

Fair enough, I'll be quiet now.

Mike said...

Great story Chickie and it sounds like it was effective. Lucky for you too considering where he ended up. Just can't see you living in a trailer next to a chicken house.

ShyRocket said...

You nasty, naughty girl. That is HILARIOUS! Try my blog for stories of when I was a kid!

Michael said...

That was cold. I'll have to stay on your good side. Thanks for stopping by my place. I'm still kind of new at this so it's nice to 'meet' new people.

Michael

Chickie said...

Joe Fuel - I know how to call 'em.

Mike - Wasn't just a little chicken coop either. It was beside 3 or 4 of those big commercial chicken houses.

Shyrocket - I'll check those out!

Michael - It's little stories like this that help Sweety stay in line too.

Zube Girl said...

I'm snickering evilly after reading that. You're my hero! Heh. I'm glad I don't know where you live because I'm afraid I'd stop by and bother you so much that you'd make lunch for me, too.

anne arkham said...

OK, maybe not Chicago. :)

Midwestern City Boy said...

The one thing I know in life is NEVER to get on your bad side. Especially now that you're all grown up. Who knows what fiendish things you might think up now. Sweety is a brave man.

Chickie said...

Zube Girl - You'd only need to worry if I made you eat the sandwich outside while I watched from the window.

Anne Arkham - Oh gee, where's your sense of adventure? What's a little cat food between friends?

MCB - You wouldn't believe some of the things I've orchestrated since growing up and getting a job. If you have a little money, it goes a long way in a revenge job.

anne arkham said...

Well, if you come all the way to visit me, the least I could do is feed you.

Chickie said...

Anne Arkham - Thanks for the warning.