Yesterday I felt a wee bit guilty about lurking at the exwife's blog. So to be nice, I asked the boys if they'd like to get a Valentine's Day card for her when I took them to pick out Sweety's. Little did I know the effing drama it would cause. ..
Sweety was bowling and I'd just put the sprogs in bed. I remember that they forgot to sign her card so I take it in their room and tell them to sign it. LB(9) signs it first with "Love LB". Then BB(11) signs it "Love BB - Your favorite son". LB sees what he's written and yanks the blankets over his head and bursts into tears. I'm telling him it's okay and that we'll fix it (all the while giving BB the evil eye). Finally, I work the blankets off his head and tell him "Look. Your Mom didn't say it. BB did. And we all know he's full of crap, right?" And that got him to laugh and they went to bed happy. I told BB we were going to mark that line out and he could tell his Mom what he wrote. Mental note to self: Don't bother getting a card for EW for any kind of holiday. It's not worth the potential trouble. Check.
We were watching some t.v. show the other night and a woman had just had a baby via c-section. I was thinking to myself that a baby all sticky with amniotic fluid must stink to high heaven (like fish, perhaps) but Sweety said that babies fresh from the chute are the best smelling things in the world. I told him I don't think anything smells better than Tiny dog's head and he said fresh baby is 1000 times better than that. I like sniffing babies heads after they've been all lotioned up but I may have to put "getting to sniff a really fresh baby head" on my list of pros about breeding. Maybe I'll just befriend a pregnant woman so I can come to the hospital when she has the loaf.
10 comments:
Ewwwww! A friend of mine just had a baby a couple weeks ago; I'm going to ask her.
LOL, LOL, LOL..You do have the funniest twist of mind, my dear Chickie...and I llove it!
Hmmmmm. I sure would love to see what the EW's blog looks like....
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.... Maybe there's a message in there for you :_) I bet you would make your mom very happy. You would make a good mom. Now, if you lived close to your mother, I bet she would be more than happy to baby sit. Nothing like motherhood to give you a new perspective on life and a real sense of purpose. Remember I used to say too that you do not know what real unconditional love is until you have a child? Something to think about huh?
Anne Arkham - Please let me know. I really hate to think there's something out there that smells better than Tiny's head.
OOLOTH - As far as the EW's blog - imagine writings with no punctuation and with every other word misspelled. It really took me awhile to plow through it. She mostly talks about how much she misses her husband. (While reading it, I remembered that this is the guy that told my stepson to clean the garage or he was going to beat his ass.) I thought about sharing the link but I'm afraid someone might launch to it from my page or leave a comment and then she'd find my blog. And that would be so very not good.
Titus - If this is the case, I'll be happy giving out conditional love.
My Mom doesn't ask me anymore when I'm going to have a baby. She thinks I have enough going on.
Sweety is right... nothing smells better than a newborn baby and that's coming from someone who's had them dropped right on her chest still wet and gooey.
;o)
Even if the holiday card thing didn't come off well... it was still a nice gesture. :o)
Show ya how ignerant I am. Ida figgerd I coud make a list o th best-smellin things witout usin th werd "head" once.
There is nothing better than a newborn baby period. The scent, the look in their eyes, their extreme hugability. It was years ago but the birth of our kids is burned into my brain. The whole thing is an unforgettable experience. You never forget holding your child for the first time. They could actually smell really bad (which they don't) and it wouldn't matter and you'd still thing it was the greatest smell in the world.
"Fresh from the chute" is the most digsuting term for birthing I've ever heard. In my life. Really.
Mike - I'm with you.
Amy - Wet and gooey?! I thought they cleaned the little rascals up before they gave them to you. I learn something new every day.
MCB - Babies are nifty with me til they start to walk. Then they scare me.
Bekah - But it is fitting, yes?
Joey Polanski - You must include "chihuahua head" in your list of good smelly things.
Post a Comment