I've Got Nothing

I spent at least 5 hours on the phone yesterday with technical support in India trying to get my laptop to work properly. The optical drive wasn't being picked up for some reason so I couldn't download any software or watch dvds.

My call was disconnected 4 times. Some crackhead told me that I needed to take my computer apart and was instructing me on how to do it over the phone. I didn't have the right kind of screwdriver so I had to stop in the middle of it all and go to the hardware store for the correct tool and then call stupidass tech support back.

The same crackhead answers my call and after an hour decides that I need to mail the laptop in for repair. Crackhead then puts me on hold to transfer me to someone who will give me instructions for mailing the laptop back in and disconnects me after I've been on hold for 20 minutes. Yay! I love disconnections!

I call back and speak to someone that seems to know their ass from a hole in ground and am given instructions on how to reformat (in a different manner than is given in my handy, dandy, HP guidebook). And behold! It works!

And I swear, if something happens to fuck it up again, I will kill and eat every living thing under my roof. Then I'll throw the computer in the pool.

Today has been spent hiding in the dark with a fantastical sinus headache. Yay! I love headaches! My noggin has just started feeling better. Thank goodness.

This pretty much sums it up for me:

Fuck you.  And you.  And you over there!

Except for glitter. I love glitter.


Scott said...

I must say that I am glad that I don't live under your roof!

At least the laptop is up and running again, and not serving as a point of interest for swimmers at the bottom of your pool.

Mike said...

I love to eat glitter. It tastes phenominal. You must have a Dell. I love to call Dell every chance I get and then put them on hold. I do it even when I don't have a problem. I highly recommend that you call Dell as soon as your problem is solved and put them on hold. While they are on hold, eat some glitter. It may not solve your problem, but it will make you feel so much better.

NeverEZme said...

I hope you feel better! Don't you just love no-tech support!!

Chickie said...

Scott - The laptop is happy too that it's not swimming.

Mike - It's an HP. My Dell has been fucked up but I've been too turned off by the idea to even call their tech support. I actually think I managed to fix it tonight by employing some of the tricks the HP idiot told me. I'm gonna go snort some glitter to celebrate.

NeverEZme - No-Tech support is the best! Yay! It makes me want to move away so I can get an outsourced job.

Joey Polanski said...

Nex time ya need t call tech support, it might be wise to keep handy th phone numbr for tech-support support.

patti_cake said...

Well to your credit you didnt' fly to India and try to kill said Crackhead. I can't say the same if I were in your shoes.
Hope your headache got better Honey.
Ooh I love glitter too and I have that sticker!!!

Chickie said...

Joey Polanski - They'd probably disconnect my call there too.

Patti_Cake - I couldn't fly to India because I couldn't get online to make a flight reservation. That's the only thing that saved Crackhead.

Happy Bunny rocks!