Warning: I think I'm rambling.
What a week this has been. I went to Texas last Friday morning and got back Wednesday night. I think I'm in the middle of a tiny metal crackdown. It was hard being in Texas.
My exhusband spoke with me last Wednesday night and asked me if I could get up there as soon as possible to help him out with the things that needed to be done so far as dealing with his sister's funeral and being with his mom. He said if I would come up there and help him get through this that he'd never bother me again. This was the first time that I'd spoken to him in 6 or 7 years. And I don't hate his guts anymore or want him to suffer needlessly so I went to Texas a little sooner than I'd planned on. (I'd planned on getting up there just in time for the funeral and then staying a few days.) It was weird being around him. I guess he's gotten his shit together and doesn't drink like he used to. I think I got to see the person that I knew he could be. We got along like we'd just seen each other yesterday. It was Twilight Zoneish. He told me that he was glad that I was doing okay and I told him that to be honest, I'd cursed him for a couple of years but that I am really happy that he's doing well too. We had a chance to talk and apologies were exchanged over about what a rotten note our marriage ended on. I want him to have a nice life.
The funeral was on Saturday and while everyone was leaving the cemetery the police came and got the kids (my niece and nephew) and took them to their paternal grandfather's house. Their biological dad is in prison and will be there for another 30 or so years. Before he went to prison, he didn't have anything to do with the kids but he wants to exercise his paternal rights now and have them taken in by his family. The kids are totally freaked out. Not only is their mom gone but now they can't be around the people that they know. I was going to try and have his paternal rights severed and try to adopt the kids but after speaking with a lawyer (who told me it was a longshot and would be an uphill battle all the way since I'm no longer related to them and live out of state) decided that it would probably do more harm than good right now. It would cost an arm and a leg and there's not a good chance that I'd win because I'm so far away and not related to them anymore. I just feel so bad because they'd always been told if something ever happened to their mom that they'd go live with me. But of course, their mom didn't have anything in writing.
Right now the kids are at their dad's brother's house but their dad wants them to go to his cousin and his family (people the kids have never met before either). The kids were taken to the cousin's house yesterday and threw such a fit about being there that their dad's brother and his wife came and got them. I hope if they stay with their dad's family that they end up with his brother and wife. Their dad's family had said at first that the kids could go see their mom's side of the family this weekend but it seems that that's on hold. I tried to call the kids last night and was told that they were in the shower and their aunt tried to call too and was told the same thing at a different time. They must've been in one long shower, huh?
Oh and another bit of good luck that's found me - last Wednesday (before I went to Texas), I was driving and some kid basically ran into me on his bike. But since I was the grown up in a car, I'm screwed. Life is so good.
I came home from work early today because I couldn't open my mouth without crying and I've spent much of my day molesting the toilet because my stomach is a wreck and Sweety is pissed that I came home early. I just couldn't stay there. He has a very strong work ethic - he worked once for a couple of days with a broken ankle because there was nobody else there to do the job - and he thinks I should be the same way. I know that everybody goes through shit and deals with it but I just can't today. I resolve to suck it up and go back to work on Sunday and be happy and cheerful in my daily life. Or maybe I'll get lucky and a fucking meteor will smash me and I can sleep for awhile. Speaking of sleep, I guess being in Texas and dealing with everything that's going on has given me some horrid dreams. I'm not enjoying sleeping too much right now and that's usually my most favorite thing.
On a happier note, fat ass Tiny dog lost about 1.5 pounds while I was gone. Now she just has 2 chins instead of 5 and she can run a lot faster.
11 comments:
Sounds to me like one of those when it rains it pours scenarios. Sorry to hear that all the shit is hitting the fan at once. I do feel bad for those kids though. That completely sucks for them.
be careful what you wish for, there's a meteor shower this weekend!
Strange how objective we can be towards the exes when enough time has passed.
It's sad that the kids father is choosing to upset thier life further this way. It's selfish and harmful to thier little psyches. I wish for thier sake that thier mom had written her wishes down. A lesson for us all, I guess.
Oh baby girl...I wish I could be there to hug you.
First of all about the ex...there is something you need to remember...you DID marry him once, and that was for a reason. BUT..things went awry, and they would probably do so again. It's grown up for adults to forgive and be civil to each other. I've even sort of forgiven the bitch for what she did to me last year. Almost. Just don't confuse being "civil" with "trying again" or even second guessing your husband. I AM speaking from experience here.
Secondly about the child who hit your car...breathe. Even if it was an accident, you aren't going to jail. Money solves a lot. ;-)
About the kiddos...you did the best you could. You tried. Just remember that this is a temporary situation with them, and in the end, when they grow up, you will be able to tell them how wonderful their mother was, and about what actually happened when she died.
Time heals.
You still have my phone number in an email if you need it. Otherwise, I'm just and email away.
Becky - Oh hell, I didn't mean to sound like I'm second guessing my life with Sweety now. I wouldn't trade Sweety for all the tea in China. My ex is kind of like a bad book that I've already read. Before we divorced we did the whole "trying again" thing and it didn't work. You only get 2 chances with me!
I wonder if the kid hitting you applies the same way for animals? You know, if that deer or pig or horse was moving when the collision occurred, it's not your fault?
I'm sorry your week was so rough, not even including the funeral, but glad Tiny dog lost a little weight! Our elderly toy poodle has lost several pounds since going on heart medication- she's at a healthy weight for the first time in years.
Hang in there. :)
You need t laff at sompm.
Dr Polanski prescribes fipteen minutes o ticklin.
Massive suckage of the unpleaseant kind. Where'd you meet your Ex - the Ozarks?
Oh Chickie my dear...What a horrible mess...those poor dear children...I really feel bad for them--a you said, they lost their mother and now have been taken away from everyone they know and love!!! The world is really really fucked up!!! I'm sorry you are having such a bad time of it physically...you take good care of yourself my dear....and pamper yourself ALL you need to....!
It's funny and at the same time sad to know that the person who f'd up your life years and years ago actually turned into a decent human being isn't it? (I started to punctuate that sentence as I was writing it, but I just woke up and nothing looked right, so I just de-punctuated and figured you'd know what I was talking about.)
I'm glad you're home. It certainly wasn't an easy situation, beginning to end. You did what you could for the kids, and now you need to do what you can for yourself. For some people, diving into work does them well, and apparently Sweety's one of those people. But you did what you had to do.
*hugs*
Oh honey that is so very tough. It really is heartbreaking for those kids also. I hope they are okay emotionally as well as physically.
Tell Sweety to shut it with his work ethic for now. You don't need any more crap and everyone deals with things in their own way.
Hooray for TinyDog losing poundage.
::Sending good thoughts you direction::
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