Things Better Left Unsaid

Shut up, you little punk!

Hey, where the hell are you going?

Keep up with the group! AAAAAAGHHHH!

Slow down, motherfucker. We're not running a race.

What the fuck? Where are all of my kids?

Shut up, you stupid cunt. Are you spraying hairspray on your kid's hair?! What the fuck?! We're on a damn bus. Why don't you go fuck yourself with the hairspray can? Hellloooo! I'm choking here! Idiot.

I said "fuck" "stupid cunt" and "motherfucker" ALOT in my head today. I am bowing out of chaperoning for the rest of this year. I'm gonna let someone else worry about my kid the next time.

Highlight of my day: Watching 12 year old boys break into a spontaneous 70's style dance anytime they heard music.


Anonymous said...

Trust me, it only gets worse. Much much much worse.

Becky said...

yeah. i taught that age for 10 years. i feel your pain. i really do.

..but then again, they're kinda fun...a little...sometimes...not in large groups...


Midwestern City Boy said...

You miss it (or at least we did) when you realize that your children are never going to be 12 again. And that there probably aren't going to be any more kids. It's weird watching things for th last time.

Debra said...

I think those words you only said in your head are some of the reasons I have to watch myself in public a lot... with me, they just kind of come out, and I stand there going "Fuck. Shit. God damn it! Arghhh!" as I struggle to say something not just as bad as the last expulsion.

patti_cake said...

Well if you only said them in your head then you did good :) Chaperoning is tough be it boys, girls and no matter what their ages LOL You deserve a medal!

bekah said...


Thomas Vickers said...

Welcome to my world.
It hurts to keep those words in your head on a daily basis


Joey Polanski said...

A well-placd match couda turnd Hairspray Lady inta Madam Blowtorch.

Gotta plan ahead, Chickie!

Chickie said...

Mike - I'm gonna start tuning out things as they get worse.

Becky - Being around a bunch of 'em made me realize how lucky I am that BB is pretty well behaved.

MCB - Yeah, I do already miss some things that we used to do when the boys were younger. Like being a Power Ranger...I never thought I'd miss being "Pink Ranger".

Debra - Sometimes, my words do come out. But luckily, I was able to tamp them down while I was being a figure of authority!

Patti_Cake - The older the kids get, the harder the chaperoning has been for me. It seems like when they were smaller (and more intimidated by adults) that they listened better.

Bekah - Ha! I may have to post that.

Thomas Vickers - If it was a regular thing wouldn't I become acclimated to it? Or is it an assault on the senses for you every day?

Joey Polanski - Next time I'll take my machine gun also.

Thomas Vickers said...

There is not real "getting used to it."
There are just good days (when you find the humongous bugger on your shirt) and you laugh shit off and there are bad days (where you twitch alot, suffer small seizures, and gurgle)where the smallest thing makes you enraged.

The worst times are when you are having a great day and something just turns your boil knob all the way to 11.

Believe me. The urge to scream "YOU ARE A WORTHLESS LITTLE FUCK!" becomes almost uncontrollable on those days.


The Phosgene Kid said...

Two irritating things on a bus - cell phones and hair spray. Who the hell uses hair spray in this day and age?

Rich | Championable said...

Good editing, yo.

I probably would have lost it with the hairspray thing, myself.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

They might all have been dead if I had to do that! LOL!

Chickie said...

Thomas Vicker - Maybe you should look at a career change. I hear that the postal system is always hiring.

The Phosgene Kid - Hair spray lady was fixing her kid's hair for a cheerleading competition that was being held TWO days later!

Rich Championable - Sometimes I have to say nothing for fear of what would come out of my mouth if I opened it.

OOLOTH - Everyone around me was lucky that they got to see another sunrise.