I've said, "Why don't you go have yourself a nice tall glass of fuck yourself?"
I've tripped over Stinky dog.
I've tripped over Tiny dog and sent her ass flying.
I've accidentally injured Sweety.
Tiny has slipped me some tongue when I'm kissing her nose.
I've heard a child whine.
I've got behind some dumbass while driving and almost chewed through my wrists at a redlight.
Sweety fixed the garbage disposal after I've had too much fun with it.
I've been the last person to touch an appliance before it died.
I would be so rich right now.