More Juicy Goodness From The COAEW

Oh wow. The cuntofanexwife really tied one on tonight. I'll explain it all the best that I can but I'm still kind of pissed and it was all just kind of strange.

A few months ago we found out that LittleBrother had sent her more than one email asking her to pick him up early from school. Even went so far as to tell her what time to pick him up. So we blocked his email access to her.

Not too long after that, she sent BigBrother a music video and in it someone was making that little tongue waggly motion that guys do to act like they're eating pussy. And BB mimicked it to me. Do you know fucking traumatic that was for me? So we blocked his email access to her.

She realized this a couple of weeks after it happened and called and asked Sweety why she couldn't email the boys. Sweety (not wanting a fight) just told her that he didn't know anything about it.

And that's been that for a few months.

Tonight, she tried to email something to BB and when she couldn't, she left a message on Sweety's voicemail along the lines of "it's not fair that you won't let me email the boys and if you don't know anything about it and it's your wife's doing and you're afraid to talk to her about it then she can call me."

So I did.

COAEW? I got your message and am calling to explain to you why LB and BB aren't set up to get emails from you. When we found out that LB was mailing you, asking to be picked up from school early, we blocked his access. When you sent BB that delightful Eminem video where he's moving his tongue like he's licking pussy and BB mimicked it, we blocked his.

You have no right to do that! It's like if when you were to call here for the boys and I screened your calls and didn't answer them! (um, hello? we don't call the boys when they are at her house because they are at her house and it's her time with them.) You have overstepped your boundaries so many times with the boys. BB has so many issues from the conversation that you had in front of him about babysitting at my house. You don't understand how many issues he has because of this.

(Gee, and you don't know how many issues he has over the times that you've promised something and not delivered. How about last Thanksgiving when you promised the boys that just you and them would go eat dinner somewhere and they were all excited about it and insted your new fucking boyfriend and his kids came to your house for a "slumber party"?)

And she started to go on and on about all kinds of shit. It occurred to me that I didn't have to listen to her so I told her that I'd called her to discuss the email situation and nothing else and that I hoped she had a good night and then I hung up. (Oh wait, before I hung up when she was saying she didn't restrict my access to them I told her that I wasn't sending them pornographic emails. That was when she kind of lost her marbles and became an incoherent screaming mess.)

It took .2 seconds before Sweety's phone started blowing up. After the third call he decided to answer it. What a conversation they had. She wanted to bring up all kinds of shit that had happened years before (her anger over the fact that Sweety married me without consulting her and whatnot).

She told Sweety since I called the shots at our house that she'd just start talking to me concerning the boys. Sweety laughed and told her that she'd really be better off talking to him because she was simply no match for me.

She just left Sweety a message telling him that some of the things that I have done concerning the boys is against the law and that she will be picking them up from school from now on if he is unable to.

Gee, hurt me bitch! Hurt me! I fucking loooooooove spending 3 hours each day on my days off getting your kids from school! I totally enjoy fighting for parking and then sitting in the sun when I could be at home in my bed. Really! I will be fucking crushed if I have my days off to my damn self. Whatever will I do with all of that time? Go to the beach? Get my nails done? Nap? I am really hoping that she sticks to that "threat".

What a deep fried cunt. If there is a god, he will take her home tonight.


Mike said...

Jesus, what an awful douche' bag she is. Thank God and the forces that be that the boys have you.

Since when does someone have to consult a COAEW about getting remarried?

Liar Liar said...

I love, love, love that Sweety laughed and told her that she's no match for you. LOVE IT!

Also? I hope, for your sake, that she sticks to her threat, but for the boys' sake, really, I just hope she grows up someday.

Joey Polanski said...

Sppose a guys got TWO ex-wives & wants to remarry? Does he hafta consult BOFE of em? If one approves & th othr dont, does Dick Cheney hafta come in & break th tie?

Sara Sue said...

"deep fried cunt" BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

~*Kelli*~ said...

I'm so using the Deep Fried Cunt quote.

All I can say is, "I feel your pain." Our deep fried cunt is dropping of "HER" (and I use that loosely) kids in a few minutes after visitation, and I just can't wait to undo everything she's done to them.

How can mothers be like this with their CHILDREN . Just blows my mind.

Thomas said...

Do you want to borrow my new Tiger?



Chickie said...

Mike - It's on page 38 of the COAEW handbook that your exhusband should consult you before he does anything - getting married, going on vacation, scratching his balls, etc.

Liar Liar - It really pleased me to hear him say that too. I wanted to laugh but the boys were watching me for a reaction so I just kept folding laundry.

Joey Polanski - That's what Dick Cheney does in his spare time?

Sara Sue - Yeah, she really brings out my poetic genius.

Kelli - Isn't it fun to undo days worth of bad behavior when you get them back? The boys used to be crazy for hours after it was her weekend and we were getting them back but they've come to see that that shit doesn't fly here.

Thomas - Oh wow, that is a great idea! Yes, I'd like 2 please. You can always use an extra tiger.

The Phosgene Kid said...

I've heard that the bigger the pain in the ass you are the longer god lets you live. Superman, yet another mythical hero, isn't as clear on the issue, however. At any rate I suspect the Ex ain't going anywhere in the near future. Have you talked to "Sweety" about moving the hell away from there?

Ginamonster said...

What in the world can you have done to them that is illegal? It's not illeal to restrict their emial address, I think it's smart parenting. Obviously they were up to no good. LB, trying to get out of scool (hello? Truancy?) and BB receiving inaapropriate emails. It doesn't matter who they were from. You were protecting them.
The woman is awful. Yet another post detailing one of the many reasons I don't date men with kids.

Chickie said...

The Phosgene Kid - Oh, I've talked to Sweety about moving but we can't as long as the beast is alive. I'm only one tiny accident away from leaving this hellhole.

Ginamonster - I too, would love to know what sort of things I've done that are illegal. I'd never dated anyone with kids so this whole thing has been a real baptism by fire.