Phwew. What a Night.

Just so you know, pinching a scrotum between your pointy finger and thumb and then stretching it out only to let it go and fly back into place is not an acceptable form of foreplay. But it is a neat feeling - those things are just like Silly Putty or something. Boing. Sorry, about that, Sweety.

I did some drunk-buying on eBay last night. I've been tanning and have used a couple of samples of this Tandora stuff and it really works. I'm brown like a pecan. (mmmmm....pecans...) The place where I tan sells this stuff for $80 a bottle! So I bought my own and I'll just sneak it into the tanning place in my purse. You're allowed to bring in your own stuff but I don't want them to know that I bought mine somewhere else instead of letting them stick it to me by buying theirs.

Damn, I'm tired.


Rich | Championable said...

"those things are just like Silly Putty..."

That's actually more true than you know. If you press a scrotum on a comic book, it lifts off a perfect color copy!

Go try it!


Mike said...

Just the thought of having my scrotum pinched between a thumb and pointy finger strikes fear in my heart. I hope my wife never reads this blog. That's just the kind of "experiment" she would like to perform on me.

Sara Sue said...

Now I'm dying to roll a scrotty onto the funny papers!

The Phosgene Kid said...

Yow! Sometimes sorry just doesn't cover it - this is one of those times. Hell, he was just getting over the back injury you gave him.

Joey Polanski said...

Id like to see the place where you tan.

In fact, Id like to see ALL the places where you tan. Please post pitchrs.

-- Peeping Polanski

(P.S. Well, HELLO, Bowing Piggy!)

Sara Sue said...

The bowing pig makes me want bacon ...

patti_cake said...

BOING! I love it!

Hmmm gonna have to try some Tandora. I need to be brown like a pecan! Hope Sweety is feeling better.

Slick said...

I kinda squirmed at the first part of this post....

Amy said...

Wow... you do things most women only fantasize about doing. :)

Cissy Strutt said...

Bowing piggy? I think she is doing her warm-up prior to sploshing into the pool with her jaunty swim cap & goggles. Kinda reminds me of me - I am pink of skin & love to swim. (And I'm radiating tan-envy readin your post.)

Chickie said...

Rich Championable - Oh wow, I didn't know that the Sunday paper could get any more exciting!

Mike - You should let her do it once or twice. Her glee would warm your heart.

Sara Sue - Pictures. We'll need pictures of this, please!

The Phosgene Kid - And you know what the best part was? Due to his injury, he wasn't able to whack me away from him. After I did it the third time he said, "I don't know what guy you've been with that enjoyed that but it wasn't me." I took the hint then.

Joey Polanski - As soon as Sweety can hold the camera, I'll have him take some pictures for you.

Don't you love the Piggy? I like her goggles.

Sara Sue - Me too.

Patti_Cake - The Tandora is some great stuff! And it smells good too. Sweety still feels like shit but he's getting better.

Slick - At least you were just reading about it. From what I understand, to be on the receiving end is most unpleasant.

Amy - You can do it too! You've gotta be quick about it though if your husband is healthy enough to swat you away.

Cissy Strutt - I like to think that the pig is worshiping me right before she goes for a swim. Hey, no need for tan-envy! Just hop into a skin-cancer machine and you too, can be brown!