6/30/07

My Brain Is Like Oatmeal

I've spent 2 days thinking, "I need to get online and check the blog and reply to comments." and haven't had time. Now I feel like I should reply to everything but that would take forever (okay, maybe and hour) and I'm just not up for the challenge. I'm sorry that I suck.

That last post - about LB trying to hit a porn site? He wasn't here when that happened. He was at his mom's. So I can't yell at Sweety about leaving an adult site up where the boys could see it.

Guess what I did for the first time? Got a store-bought pedicure. It was neat having someone else rub my feet with no worry of exerting myself to reciprocate. But look -

She scrubbed the tan right off the sides of my toes. Do you see how toe 4 is round? I hate that. Looks like a little meat gumball. I wonder if there's surgery to reshape your toes? I know you can have them shortened but this one just needs to be slimmed down on the sides. Surely people don't notice the deformity when I'm out and about with flip-flops on.

LittleBrother(10) has a baseball game today and a tiny part of me is hoping that it gets rained out. I'd rather not leave the couch but it looks like the wet is clearing up. Oh well, the game will give me an excuse to eat boiled peanuts.

I'll leave you with a funny...

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. "Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?" he asks.

"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

"Sure."

"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks.

"No, I can remember it."

"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?"

He says, "I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?" she asks.

Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream -- I got it, for goodness sake!" Then he toddles into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.

"Where's my toast?"
Wocka-wocka-wocka!

16 comments:

Joey Polanski said...

Hey!

Dint you star in My Left Foot?

Cissy Strutt said...

That's a good looking foot. Glad you've discovered the bliss of pedicures. But yes, she did cut the big toenail too short. Next time just say - "not too short".

The Phosgene Kid said...

If you put your foot under the tire when sweetie backs the car out of the driveway it will flatten that toe roundness problem right out.

Eat boiled peanuts and throw shit at the ump, doesn't get any better than that!! Ever get ejected from the park??

Sara Sue said...

As lovely as your feet are, and they are indeed lovely, you don't think that's going to make up for not giving us our *half nekkid Thursday* post, do you???

Anonymous said...

Well - I noticed your toe a while back in a HNT shot. But I didn't want to say anything and make you self conscious. LOL ;-)

God you crack me up.

Anonymous said...

Damn - and Cissy now points out your big toe too!

Wait - is the 4th toe from the big toe going left - or from the little toe and going right. Man - this foot stuff sure is a lot to learn about...LOL LOL LOL

Are you going to wear complete shoes now for the rest of the summer?

really you crack me up.

Chickie said...

Joey Polanski - Rats, not only have I given away my website but my film work too!

Cissy Strutt - I must confess, I did the hack job on the big toe. Long toenails scare me so I always end up with mine too short. Hopefully, having a professional look after them will make them regular.

The Phosgene Kid - If that's the cure for toe roundness then I think I'll just deal with it.

I've haven't gotten ejected from the park...yet.

Sara Sue - I will do something spectacular! next Thursday to make up for it.

Anonymous - Oh no need to worry about making me self-conscious. I'm about as self-conscious as I can get.

The 4th would be the one by the baby toe. I call it "number 4".

I won't bother hiding my deformity in shoes. The only way that people will learn to accept it is by living with it.

Midwestern City Boy said...

My 4th toe on my left foot is more rounded than the others too. I though that I was alone in the world. I'm glad that I'm not the only one like that.

Mike said...

To you, it's a joke. To me, it's a way of life.

Great looking feet though.

The Phosgene Kid said...

Don't generally give feet much thought. As long as they keep me from tipping over I am happy.

Chickie said...

Midwestern City Boy - We should start a club for people with round toes. You could be the President!

Mike - I'm sorry for poking fun at your way of life. But, on the bright side, by the time I type this, you've forgotten about it!

Thanks!

The Phosgene Kid - A big fear of mine is losing a toe and then tipping over all of the time because of it.

Ginamonster said...

Can I join that club? I totally have bubble toes. Bu tI think they're Cute.

Chickie said...

Ginamonster - Of course you can join! It relieves me to see other bubble-toes out there. I might like mine better if they were all that way so my feet looked even.

jedimacfan said...

You know how people that get too much plastic surgery on their face end up looking like cats?

If you get too much cosmetic surgery for your toes will you develop paws? Just wonderin'

patti_cake said...

I am sure no one is noticing your plump little piggy (hehe)
Aren't pedi's wonderful! Love them!

Chickie said...

JediMacFan - If that is the case then I would love to get some paws. It would be neat to be able to climb trees with ease.

Patti_Cake - Anybody that's ever really looked at my feet has commented on it. I like to tuck my toes under when folks are around. I can't believe that I went so long without a pedi!