Hot. It is freaking hot. The son of a bitching air conditioner bit the dust on us - again. It's after midnight and Sweety is in the backyard giving the a/c repairman a handjob in the hopes of getting the damn thing fixed without too much expense. I have a feeling that his handjobs aren't worth that much. So I'm sitting in the house, sweating with the canines. It doesn't smell too good. (on a sidenote - Sweet, tiny, baby Jesus, who has never sweated a day in his glorious little life: Please keep the hurricanes and power outages away from me. I need conditioned air. Thank you and amen.)
Speaking of the canines...
Every morning, when Sweety gets ready for work, at around 5 a.m. I take the dogs out to excrete. And every morning, I am seized with the urge to pop a squat and take a piss in the backyard too. I never think to go before I let them out and the longer I wait for them to find the perfect spot, the more I need to go. I haven't done it yet but I probably will before I die. The urge is just too strong. I think it would feel liberating.
When I went on vacation, I had every day covered to be off of work except for 5.5 hours on my last day. So I called in sick to work. I fully expected to get my ass ate up at work about it but guess what? I got a raise! A 10% raise! Maybe I will start buying Tiny and Stinky premium dog food now. You could have knocked me over with a feather when my supervisor told me. I thought she was calling a meeting to put me on probation for missing too much work but instead it was a good thing. The horrible confrontation that I spent the last week of my vacation fretting over didn't even happen! Yay! Go me! The raise has motivated me to be an even better butt-kisser during my 40 hours a week in Customer Service Land. My lips hurt.