On Religion

It's been kind of alluded to but I've never flat come out and said here that I don't believe in God. The truth of the matter is that I don't.

I spent a big portion of my life when I was a child worrying about religion and dying and going to hell.

There's nothing quite like being molested as a kid and hearing in church that saying "god damn" is a blasphemy and is the one thing that God won't forgive you for to make you wonder about it all when you "grow up". I mean, how screwed up is it that when I was a kid that I told myself that all of the hymns referring to "trust in Him" were talking about the kid that did nasty things to me so I wouldn't feel like I was going to hell? If you go through the archives here, you won't find many references using the "g-d" curse (but maybe you'll find it a time or two because I use it when I'm super annoyed) because I feel like I can cuss without using a word or phrase that someone else thinks is really bad. But if you use that phrase, I'm not gonna bitch about it.

I have gotten permission from Sweety to discuss my lack of religion with the boys.

I have been here (in the boys' lives) 6 years and have never discussed my beliefs (or lack thereof) with them because I feel like it's something that you should find for yourself but since their mother is making them go to Sunday School since her husband-to-be thinks it's the right thing to do - I asked Sweety if it was okay for me to mention to them that it's okay for you to not believe in God. Perhaps it is okay to feel like that you should be a good human being just because that's the right thing to do in your own mind and not because some invisible man says it's the right thing to do.

He asked me how I'd bring it up. My reasoning is that you believe in the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, and Santa Claus when you are little. And that maybe God is a grown-up's Santa Claus but if you are feeling GOOD with the religion that you are being introduced to then that is fine and dandy. I just don't want them to lay awake at night and worry that they are going to hell over something small (such as biting their fingernails or feeling like they despise someone for a moment).

Let's just be kind for kind's sake, okay?


Sara Sue said...

Wonder how the cunt of an ex-wife will feel about you talking to the boys? (I'm just being a trouble making bitch here)

Mike said...

I think that's aways been the problem for me with religion. It always felt like more of a "control tool" than anything else.

Being a good person inside is way more important that showing up for church on Sunday morning.

patti_cake said...

I definitely believe in everyone's right to believe as they wish and express themselves. I think it's great that Sweety is open to you talking to the boys about your beliefs. Some people just get so batshit crazy over religion

Kat said...

Actually, you can God damn all you like. The only unforgivable sin is to blaspheme the holy spirit.
If you deny the holy spirit, God will never forgive you, and never grant you access to heaven.
Mark 3:29;
"Whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; he is guilty of an eternal sin."

I applaud you for talking to the boys. They may not be your kids, but they have a right to be exposed to all viewpoints.
Sweety sounds like a rational man who understands this concept of allowing his kids a way to see all views.
Good job.

Chickie said...

Sara Sue - I have a feeling that she won't care for it at all. Sweety has been given specific scripting to use when she calls.

Mike - I remember how the local pastor spent years trying to get my Dad to go to church and his argument was he had a relationship with God and he could worship him in our front yard just fine.

Patti_Cake - I definitely believe in everyone's right to believe as they wish and express themselves. Me too. I just want to bring it to the boys' attention that there are other beliefs out there. When I asked BB what kind of church they were going to, was it Catholic or Baptist or Mormon etc., he shot me a horrified look and said, "Oh, no! We go to a Christian church." I could have taken that opportunity to point out that all the things that I'd named were religions that worshipped God but I didn't.

Kat - Sheesh, if I'd have known that saying that wasn't an automatic ticket to Hell, I'd have worried a lot less when I was a child.

I'm not going to poke anything down their throats, just open their eyes a bit. I'm glad that Sweety is okay with that.

bekah said...

Depending on what denomination where the kids are going, there's a good chance they're not worrying about that at all.

Bec said...

Well, I hope you know that my views are VERY similar to yours! :-)

See, besides the COEW, we have ANOTHER thing in common!

The Phosgene Kid said...

We are all on our own...

Chickie said...

Bekah - I hope they aren't. I am curious to find out what denomination the place is though.

Bec - Great minds think alike!

The Phosgene Kid - It sure feels that way.

Ginamonster said...

I think it's important for children to know that there are various veiwpoints out there. I think it's healthy when they learn that there are nice non-relligious people out there. Especially when they are being forced to go to church.

A person's relationship with God is the most private, sacred relationship there is. Regardless of whether you go to church.

Chickie said...

Ginamonster - I just let them know that there are other views out there as well as the option to not believe. It was not an overly bearing sort of conversation.

Mybrid said...

I have a slightly similar dilemma in my life, which I cannot mention on my own blog due to my readership but I can mention here. I don't believe in g-d either. But my husband and I are planning to adopt. So what do I tell the lady who comes over to do the house study when she asks - what religious beliefs do you have? I live in America, where the overwhelming majority believe in g-d. Will they allow me to adopt kids if I profess not to be religious?

I hope my lack of belief will not label me as unfit to be a mother.

Chickie said...

Mybrid - Your comment led me to do some snooping on the internet and I found this.

Sweety & I have spoken of adoption, and if we were to do it I'd tell them that I did have some sort of religious belief because that is what people want to hear. I don't always think you should tell people "what they want to hear" but with something like adoption where one wrong answer can blackball you, I'd do it.

I hope it all works out and you will be a fine mother!