Stupid Human Tricks

My fantastical niece, Sylvie(8) arrived yesterday and will be here for a week! Yaaay! I met my sister at a town about halfway between our houses to pick her up. Sylvie was hungry so we decided to get a bite to eat before we went home. The place that we were eating at is one that Sweety is kind of affiliated with and I decided to work on my people skills by saying hi to the manager of the place because I had met him once before. (so now he knows just who I am for the foolishness that follows)

We eat our food and then go to the bathroom to wash our hands before leaving. When we get back to our booth, I realize that my hands are kind of wet and it bugs me if it feels wet under my rings. So I take off my wedding rings to dry under them. And the wedding band goes sailing through the air and lands directly in the space between the wall and the bench that you sit on. I shit myself when I realized that the booths were stuck in place and could not be moved so I could just pluck out my ring.

Sylvie and I spend a bit of time (well, she spends a bit of time because she has little skinny hands and can reach in the crack between the seat and wall better than me.) digging stuff out of the crack but can't fish my ring out. I finally break down and ask the waitress if the booth can be moved back but it can't. (as I'd already figured out by trying to yank it away from the wall already.) The manager comes over and tries to get the ring or move the booth but he can't. Finally, some kid comes out from the kitchen with a wire-thingy and after about 15 minutes, fishes my ring out. I felt like such a dork. What are the freaking odds that the one time that I accidentally launch my ring off of my finger that it will fall into an abyss?

During the ride home I found out something about my sister that was a surprise. Sylvie says to me, "I need to ask you if something about my Mom is true. Since you're her sister, I thought you would know." Then Sylvie asks me if it is true that her mom drowned the possum that we were trying to keep as a pet when we were kids. I tell her no, that the baby possum drowned in his milk bowl by himself but Sylvie tells me that her mom told her that she stuck the possum's head in the milk. I am suddenly filled with fresh horror (much like the horror that consumed me when I found the possum face-down in the milk dish with a little milk air bubble coming out of his nose.) and I call my sister to ask her about this.

Sure enough, she played a part in his death. She planted his face in the milk bowl before we went to school because she thought it would help him eat but things didn't work out that way because the possum was too small to get his head out of the milk dish. (With hindsight being 20/20, we probably should have been feeding the possum with a little bottle.) I can't believe that for the past 20 years I have thought that the possum committed suicide because it was so upset about being in captivity but it was really my sister's handiwork.

I told Sylvie about seeing the milk air bubble stuck to the possum's nose and she exclaimed, "Hey! You got to see its last breath!". I'd never thought of it that way but yeah, I guess so.


Mike said...

Possums rarely commit suicide--or so I have been told.

Scotty Ice said...

Wow....don't you love how the past always comes back to haunt.

Great post!

..also glad you got your ring back....I had a incident several years ago where a friend of mine took off his wedding band to wash his hands and left it in the bathroom....I came in after him where we worked at and saw it and didn't bother to pick it up. Come to find out someone stole it by the time he discovered it.

yeah..it sounds like a story one makes to cover something up but in this case it was true....always felt bad about that.....

here today, gone tomorrow said...

Real life. Ain't it a trip?

themom said...

are you sure it was dead at all? sometimes they "fake it!" hope you didn't bury it alive to add insult to injury...just kidding! Too funny with the rings!
Happy New Year!

Joey Polanski said...

I wondr why yer sistr fessd up aftr all these years.

What IS th statute o limitations on possumicide anyhow?

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

What a story...! Poor Possum, Poor Sister, Poor you, and Poor Sylvie!
OY! How old was your sister when she did this deed?

I want to wish you and yours a VETY VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR, my dear Chickie! I hope 2008 will be the year that ALL your dreams come true, and then some!

moooooog35 said...

I had to re-read this...as the first time I was VERY confused.

"P" words that also contain two "S"'s in them usually just register in my mind as something else.

...hence the whole confusion over the "putting it in milk" thing.

..although..that DOES sound kinda hot.

Happy New Year.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Chickie, my dear..When you get a cgance...Drop by my blog...I finally have learned to put a "personal" Video up on my Blog...."The Mister" is featured!

Anonymous said...

When I got fat, I had to have my wedding ring resized. Later, when I lost the weight, it didn't fit very well. Since I move my hands lot when it talk, every once in a while it would fly off while I was in the middle of a conversation and I would have to go running after it to make sure it didn't fall into a gutter or something. I finally had it resized again after just missing losing it in a grate.

Cissy Strutt said...

Have a wonderful 2008 dear chickie. Give those gorgeous dogs a big cuddle & pat from me. And a Hi for Sweetie.

The Phosgene Kid said...

Remind me not to let you watch any of my pets...

Drunkin Monkey said...

Hello. I think that tiny dog would make a very noble steed.

Chickie said...

Mike - I wish someone would have told me that one of the times I was telling my "my pet possum killed itself" story. What a fool I have been.

Scotty Ice - Talking about leaving rings at work...I had a gaudy ring that I left in the bathroom at work once. I got lucky and a friend went in after me and found it. She always liked looking at the ring and she decided to freak me out a bit and came into the office and asked me where it was first. After I almost had a heart attack, she pulled it out of her pocket.

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow - No kidding!

TheMom - Nah, it was dead. It was stiff. Happy New Year to you too!

Joey Polanski - Sis said that she always thought that I knew what happened. There is no statue on possumcide. I've instructed my niece to call her mom "Possum Killer" at every opportunity.

Lady of the Hills - I think my sister was in 3rd grade or so when it happened. Hey, you're really getting the hang of this blogging thing. ;)

Moooooog35 - Dude, you are sick. I like it. Happy New Year to you also. May your new year be full of possum. Or something.

Midwestern City Boy - I was suffering from a bit of bloat when I popped the ring off. I knew it was fitting a big snugly and gave it too much of a yank to get it off. From now on, if my hands are wet, I'll just live with it!

Cissy Strutt - Consider it done and done! Thank you! Have a good one too.

The Phosgene Kid - I think huskies would be harder to drown than possums. They'd prolly be safe.

Drunkin Monkey - If you'd like to come for a visit, you can take her for a ride!

Patti said...

Now that is just sad about that poor little possum but your sister had good intentions!

Drunkin Monkey said...

OOOH! Really? I think I would like Florida, there are lots of trees there.

Chickie said...

Patti - She says she had good intentions but I dunno. This is the same sister that KILLED my fish (PeteTheFirst) years later because she was mad at me. She poured peroxide in his water. She said she thought it would just make him sick but he went belly-up before she got out of the room.

Drunkin Monkey - If you ever come down, I'll take you tree climbing and strap you onto Tiny Dog for a ride!