Odds & Ends

I still haven't heard anything about Sammy. His owner's mom works with me and she was out sick for the past two days. Sweety has been fucking with me and saying that she was gone because she was busy digging a grave for Sammy. Thanks, Sweety. I'm going to call her tomorrow and see how she and Sammy are doing.

Tonight I am going over to the neighbor's house for a tupperware-type party. (This neighbor is friends with the cuntofanexwife and I am keeping my fingers crossed in the hope that she will not be there.) I decided it would be good for me to venture into suburbia and socialize with other people. I haven't decided yet if I'll eat a xanax and have a glass of gin before I go. When I get home - definitely.

Sweety and I went for a walk last Wednesday night. 3.7 miles. That's a lot of walking for a sweet potato that only goes from her car to her cube farm. My legs are still sore. We are doing it again tonight and tomorrow too. When we took off on the walk, I was really hating Sweety's guts because he was making me exercise and I was giving serious thought to kicking his right kneecap off. (Because it was the one closest to me and I knew I'd only get one good kick in and then I'd have to run.) By halfway through the walk, I was too tired to be mad anymore.

My favorite time of day right now is when I wake up. Usually I'm not a morning person but I've been having problems breathing lately (it feels like there is a snotwad of a small frog in the back of my throat and I can't get it out with any amount of hacking) and when I wake up I'm able to spit out a nice wad of something. It makes me feel good. Like my body is doing something for me by collecting that shit in the night and putting it in one easy spot so it can be sent rocketing into the sink. Good grief. I look forward to spitting out snot. That's just weird.

Chi Chi jumped onto my lap the other night! Usually, she very carefully creeps up onto it but she reared back and leapt onto it in one motion. She landed right on Tiny Dog and scared the hell out of her. Have you ever seen a Tiny Dog trying to get away from a smaller Dog of Doom that has fallen from the sky? Funny stuff.

LittleBrother(11) and I finally saw I Am Legend this weekend. It was okay. Sweety and BigBrother(13) didn't go with us because they don't like scary movies. We went to the Flea Market to browse around and then to the bookstore before going to the show. LB has taken a huge interest in gemstones and wanted a book about them. I was so pleased that he was actually asking to go to the bookstore that I couldn't get us there quick enough! We ended up with a book from the New Age section of the bookstore that lists the healing properties of the gems and whatnot. I really don't care what the kid reads as long as he's reading something!

Ha! Let me tell you about something that happened at the Flea Market....

LB and I were methodically making our way up and down the aisles and going into shops and we came to them if they caught our eye. Up ahead, I see an adult novelty store and I'm steering LB to the other side of the aisle because I just don't even want to look at him up against a backdrop of scantily clad mannequins that are holding whips and things. We get closer to the store and he says, "Cool! Look at this!" and runs up the stockade that the novelty store has sitting in their doorway with ropes and things hanging off of it and sticks his head and hands through the wooden holes. I just died laughing and we did get a couple of strange glances from people walking by.

Quote of the day: If lightening hit her right now - I'd walk over and do CPR. I'd suck the life right out til her lung was in my mouth and then I'd chew a hole in it.
Yeah, the coaew is still a 110% dumbass.


Anonymous said...

The scene you described at the flea market is too funny. Did they have anything on display that he asked any questions about or did he think he knew what everything was for?

P.S. I hope Sammy is doing OK.

Chickie said...

Midwestern City Boy - I peeled him away from the display before he could ask questions or grab a nearby whip.

Thanks, me too! I know you're not an indoor animal lover so that means a lot!

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Oh Chickie....I dearly hope Sammy is A-Okay! And further, I love the image of you sucking out the EX'x lung snd chewing a hole in it, but good....!

here today, gone tomorrow said...

Keeping my fingers crossed for Sammy. Oh, I would have loved to see a photo of LB in the stockades...

Patti said...

Yes I am anxious to see how Sammy is doing. I am betting he's okay. I am going to come down to FL and kick Sweety in the kneecaps for making those kinds of remarks about Sammy!

Good for you taking LB to the bookstore and Flea Mkt and hey, at least you have a sense of humor (I would have found the stockade thing funny too).

Keep up that walking! It could be worse. You could be going to the gym with a bunch of aerobic bitches blech.

Ha you are a stellar woman to go to a Tupperware party hosted by friend of COAEW. Rock on Chickie!

Chickie said...

Lady of the Hills - Sammy is going to make it! You know, I'm not a fan of organ meat, but I could make an exception in this case.

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow - I so wish that I'd have had my camer.a or cell phone handy to snap a photo!

Patti - The best part about the tupperware party (it wasn't actually tupperware but kitchen shit) is that the host got to see what a lush I am. I bought new wineglasses and some double shot glasses and everyone else was buying pots and pans.