Bombs Away!

I have found a new hobby! It ranks right up there with punting toadstools, smacking toadstools with golf clubs and dropping eggs in the garbage disposal.

*insert drumroll here*

Hurling things into the retention pond behind our house!

So far, a frozen tomato (Yes, there was a frozen tomato in the refrigerator. I should clean and inspect it more often.) and 1 egg have plummeted to their watery deaths. Another egg and a piece of meatloaf didn't make it to the burial at sea and landed somewhere on the ground. In retrospect, I should have cut the meatloaf piece in half before throwing it. I'm really disgusted that a good throw was wasted. I waited all day long for it to be dark to throw that meatloaf!

I'm not strong enough yet to get stuff all the way to the pond when I'm standing on the pool deck. I have to get right up to the fence and then throw my little heart out to enjoy hearing the satisfying "plop" in the water. With some practice, I plan on being able to sit in the lounge chair and make it to the pond.

I despise tomatoes but am thinking of getting a plant just so I'll always have ammunition. I hate eggs too. I should probably get a chicken to eat bugs out of the yard and I could use the eggs for throwing!


Notes to Myself said...

What you need is for sweetie to build you a large wooden frame that you can connect one of those giant water ballon sling shots to.

Then you can blast your shit into the pond.

We need video


moooooog35 said...

Helpful tip:

When you graduate to car batteries, have a friend help you.

F*ckers are heavy.

Jeni Angel said...

Don't get a chicken!!!

As someone who lived with chickens for 2 years (and could tell you HORROR stories), I speak with authority.

Whatever you do, don't get a chicken.


bekah said...

Chickens are awesome, don't listen to jeni. Get some chickens and a coup and they can lay eggs. And you can throw them.

Patti said...

Sounds like a good time... I picture you sitting on the deck in a lounge chair, frosty drink close at hand hurling things into the pond and smiling when you hear the ~plop~.

P.S. I love the word ~plop~!

Mike said...

I like Tom's idea. A giant slingshot could make this a more fun-filled hobby.

Mr Manic Depressive said...

Just be careful the pond denizens don't start throwing things back! :)

Cissy Strutt said...

Eep! Mr Depressive's comment made me hide my head under a sofa cushion.

here today, gone tomorrow said...

Is your butt tingling again? 'Cause I'm worshiping again, just picturing you on your deck, giggling that maniacal giggle as you hurl comestibles into the darkness.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Have you ever thrown old China or Glassware against the outside wall of your house or a cement wall? AMAZINGLY Satisfying, Chickie....Between the sound and the actually breakage it is a REAL High!

Chickie said...

TV & Mike - For me, the slingshot would make it less fulfilling. I like knowing that I alone projected whatever into the pond. And a slingshot contraption would be evidence that I couldn't easily hide.

I'm working on being brave enough to do it during the day so it can be videoed. I know that my neighbors think I'm weird and this would really be icing on the cake.

moooooog35 - I will have to saw them into little pieces. I learned a lesson from the meatloaf!

Jeni Angel - Not even 1 tiny chicken? I was thinking of some really little birds. Not something that anyone would be tempted to steal and fry.

bekah - A coop? I was gonna stick it in a doghouse.

Patti - I can't wait until I've practiced enough to hit the pond from the deck. It will make it so much easier. I would probably still want to throw right from the fence though so I could hear the lovely "plop" as loudly as possible.

Mr Manic Depressive - Holy crap. I hadn't thought of that til just now. I should get a flame thrower too for protection. Surely that would take care of anything that would come out of the water, right?

Cissy Strutt - No hiding! You must stand and fight when it comes to pond denizens. I talk big but I'd probably toss a dog (or kid) at it as I ran for my life.

here today, gone tomorrow - It actually was tingling! Right before I read this on my cell phone, I had gotten a running start and slammed a grocery cart into the cart corral at Wallyworld. That makes me laugh like a loon too.

Chickie said...

Lady of the Hills - Hey, you sneaked in!

I can only imagine how much fun that would be! I've never done it but I have fantasized about it.

Anonymous said...

Do you have the urge to throw things int the pool too?

You need to get yourself some magnesium metal. It catches on fire when it his the water. (Not like I have ever don anything like that. Cough. Cough.)